The Horns of Kern

“Oh, my! I almost forgot.” Norman reached into an inside pocket on her coat and withdrew a large envelope. She then reached in and brought out a second and a third envelope. “These are for all of you.” She handed Dory, Winifred and Gertrude each an envelope. “Open them… Go ahead.” She waved her hand in front of her to hurry them along.

  Winifred was the first to open hers. She pulled out a beautifully scribed piece of parchment with the royal seal of the house of Chaurmount emblazoned upon it. She gasped. “Oh, my!!” Winifred stared in surprise at the princess.

  Dory opened hers next and fell back against the cupboard in surprise. “Oh, my!”

  “What is the matter with you two ladies?” Gertrude queried, as he opened the parchment in his envelope. He fell silent as he read to himself its contents:

  ‘King Octavius and Queen Emmaline do cordially invite you and a guest on Saturday, the fifteenth, in the month of November at eight in the evening to attend a twenty-first Birthday Ball in honor of their daughter, Norman Alexandra Alicia Suzanne. Formal attire is required. Please RSVP by October thirtieth.’

  Looking at Norman, Gertrude smiled broadly. “I wouldn’t miss your birthday for anything! You can accept my ‘yes’ now.” Gertrude bowed.

  Norman looked at Winifred. “Are you going to come to the ball?”

  “I don’t have a thing to wear, and I have been having a bad hair year…I would love to come to your ball, my child.” Winifred bounced over to Norman and gave her a big hug.

  Dory still seemed to be in a state of shock. She looked at Norman and tried to form some words, however, nothing came out. She just finally nodded her head ‘yes’.

  “Breakfast is ready, Please sit down and I will serve everyone.” Winifred busied herself filling all the plates.

  Norman took great care in sitting down at the table, not wishing to reenact her clumsiness of the previous breakfast at the hovel. She picked up her fork and took a bite of the ‘hopping hotcakes’ and quickly took a start when she thought she saw her cakes hop on the plate. She shook her head in disbelief. “I do believe that the cold has frozen my senses.” She shook her head. “These pancakes are delicious, Winifred. As a matter of fact, everything tastes good.” The Princess took a bite of her bacon and slathered butter on the crusty hot roll on her plate.

  Winifred smiled as she watched the princess eat so well. “I’m glad that you like the meal, my dear.” She grabbed a roll herself and looked over at Gertrude. “The sun-dried meal worms really add a nice flavor to the rolls, don’t you think?”

  Gertrude’s eyes opened wide and he almost choked on his food. “Mother!” He quickly glanced at Norman to see her reaction to what his mother had just said.

  Norman fortunately was eating some of the crunchy, deep-fried caterpillar eggs and was oblivious to the conversation. She stopped chewing when she noticed everyone was looking at her. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing…” Gertrude quickly interjected before his mother could answer. “By the way, Norman, what ever happened to the troll, Gafton, the other night, after we left?”

  Norman swallowed and wiped her mouth on a napkin. “Father got him so drunk that he told him everything. The troll’s name was ‘Riley’, not ‘Gafton’. Lemerich had sent him to mislead us.”

  Winifred jumped up and pounded her fist on the table. “Aha! I was right about the low-life. I may be old, but my memory hasn’t taken a complete holiday yet!”

  Dory had spilled her blog. “Goodness, Winifred, must you scare my spirit so that it jumps out of me?” She scurried over to the sink to get a towel to clean up the mess.

  “What did your Father do to him after that?” Gertrude caught some of Dory’s spilled blog with his napkin as it started to creep in his direction.

  Norman once again swallowed another mouthful of food. “You are asking all of these questions when I am eating. Can’t we eat and then I’ll answer your questions?” She scowled at Gertrude and chuckled.

  Gertrude just shook his head. “Mother, I do believe that this woman is going to eat us out of our whole supply of winter stores before she leaves.”

  Norman scowled once more and threw her spoon at Gertrude, hitting him in the chest.

  “Children, children, children, and how many times must I tell you not to throw your eating utensils at someone?” Winifred clucked like a scolding mother hen, a huge grin spreading across the lines of her face.

  Norman looked at Winifred and played along. “Oh, I am sorry, Mother Winifred, but I was not throwing it at him. I was throwing it to him, but he failed to catch it.”

  Winifred started laughing. “I am sorry I corrected you, child. Gertrude, how many times must I tell you when an item is passed your way, you are to accept it with a ‘thank you’ and take it graciously?” Gertrude just shook his head. He did not know what to say. Everyone had a good belly laugh and finished breakfast.

  “Are you finished with your meal now, Princess?” Gertrude’s voice was laced with sarcasm. “What did your father do to the troll after questioning him?”

  “He told the troll that he was an honored guest and that he was giving him one of the best guest suites in the castle.” Norman winked at Gertrude.

  Winifred jumped to her feet once again. “What is wrong with your father? The troll had just told him he was lying, and he gives him a guest suite?”

  Norman and Gertrude started laughing. “Mother, the special guest suite is a private cell down in the dungeon. I swear you are starting to sound like Grumps.” Gertrude smiled broadly.

  “Oh, I thought… Oh, never mind.” Winifred left the table and started cleaning up, and the others helped.

  “I must go now. I have a lot to get done in the next few weeks before my ball. Thank you for the wonderful breakfast, Lady Winifred. Your dishes have such a lively taste to them.” Norman accidentally belched. “Excuse me, please.”

  “More lively than you realize, my friend.” Gertrude quipped.

  Norman gave a quizzical look, donned her coat and hat and bid farewell, heading out into the wintry day. Winifred turned and busied herself further with cleaning. Once that was done, she started her baking. Dory sat at the table with a mug of blog. “Winifred, did you talk to Gertrude about the accepting the nomination for Grand Troll?”

  Winifred could feel her son’s look upon the back of her head. She turned to both of them. “Tomorrow is the deadline for the acceptance of the nomination for Grand Troll. Have you made a decision on whether you will run or not?” Her eyes probed Gertrude’s face for a hint as to how he felt.

  Gertrude was tired. His brain could not even fathom being Grand Troll. “I have given it much consideration, Mother. The thought has not left my mind. Wixor would make a great Grand Troll. In fact, Gillion is already doing a great job. If you will excuse me, I am tired and need to go lay down.” Gertrude shuffled to his room and closed the door. Moments later he was in a deep sleep.

  Winifred looked at Dory. “He is taking his time, which means that he is seriously thinking about accepting the nomination. I heard a rumor that Wixor is going to decline because of all the commotion going on right now. You know what a nervous troll he is. He probably would make a good Grand Troll.”

  Dory was looking down into her mug of blog. “Gertrude would be magnificent at the position. I mean he is young and strong and he is so much like his father...” She took a sip of her blog. “Winnie, do you remember when my Harri was running against your Sebastian and Toggart for head troll? The three of them would get into some pretty heated discussions over the way the council should be run. Harri knew that he didn’t have much of a chance winning the election when he was running against Sebastian. You know how Harri just liked to talk.” Dory chuckled. “I will always remember coming up on my husband and hearing him talking to himself. He was bowing and giving his acceptance speech to the committee. I chided him about that until…” She paused and huge tears flowed silently down her deep green cheeks.

  Winifred walked over to her side and
both does were letting go of a river of tears and old emotions. Winifred was the first to contain herself. She dabbed the tears away with the corner of her apron. “Remember how angry Toggart was when he lost the election to both Sebastian and Harri? He would not talk to them for over a week. He was a poor loser.” Winifred shook her head. “He will always be a loser…”

  Dory tipped her cup up one final time. “I must get back home. I have been really lazy lately and I need to get some work done.” She got up and headed for the door, reaching up, pulling her hat and coat from the pegs.

  Winifred walked over to her and wrapped her arms around her. “I am so thankful to Kern for sending me a friend like you. I cherish our friendship. Thank you for helping me with Gertrude last eve.” Winifred’s eyes once again welled up with emotion. The two stood there and hugged, catching each other’s tears in their hair.

  “Call me if you need anything.” Dory broke the embrace, turned and went out the door.

  “Thank you, again!” Winifred watched her until she closed the door on her hovel.