The Horns of Kern

  *

  Gertrude once again donned his coat and hat and headed for Grumps’ house. He opened the door and was immediately greeted by a huge spider scurrying across an intricate web. He caught himself as he slipped on something on the floor. Carrots! The whole floor was littered with them! Gertrude smiled, shook his head, chuckled and started to collect Grumps’ clothing.

  Gertrude was surprised by the years of accumulation Grumps had. Gertrude even ran across some of his grandmother’s clothing. He wondered what his Grandmother had been like. He ran his fingers over one of her dresses and lifted the garment to his face. He could smell the burnt beet sugar bread that his Mother said her mother use to bake for the family. The recipe was lost when she died and even though his mother had tried to duplicate it, it never came out the same. He wished that he had known her.

  Gertrude stood silently for a moment, surveying his surroundings. Then with a word of wisdom, he mused to himself: “We never truly die, for we live on in the memories of others.” With that said, Gertrude once again busied himself with the task at hand. He made three trips to Grumps’ hovel. On his fourth return trip, he stopped at Wagg’s house to ask him for help. Waggs didn’t have to be asked twice to help. He donned his hat and coat and they went down the street together, with his dog, Bones, barking at every shadow that moved. “Do I have to call you Mr. Grand Frog Troll now, or do I have to call you by your full name?”

  Gertrude stopped in his tracks and smiled one of his mischievous grins. “Neither, actually... I prefer the title of ‘Oh Illustrious One’. If that one bothers you, how about ‘Your Excellency’?”

  “I have one better…” blurted Waggs. “How about ‘Grand Donkey’s Rear’?” Waggs gave Gertrude a sound punch in his arm.

  “OW! Okay, I guess you can call me ‘Gertrude’ still.” Gertrude feigned a punch with his right hand, and landed a blow with his left fist on Wagg’s arm. The two laughed and moved on.

  Gertrude opened the door to Grumps’ hovel. “Be careful, Waggs, my grandfather has been feeding his pet spider well, and there is a huge web just inside the door.”

  Waggs paid little heed to Gertrude’s warning and ran face first into Legs’ web. “Legs scurried over to this unexpected treat, and quickly spun a cocoon around Waggs. “Get me out of here, Gertrude!”

  “I think I prefer ‘Oh Illustrious One’... The name ‘Gertrude’ just does not carry the same connotation of someone who rescues frog trolls from spiders.” Gertrude took his pocket knife out from his pants pocket and started to cut Waggs free from his sticky prison. Within a few minutes, Legs’ lunch was free of his bonds. Gertrude looked over at the angry spider. “Sorry, Legs…”

  Gertrude walked over to where there were some tins sitting on an old trunk. He opened all three of them before he found what he was looking for. He reached into the can and withdrew some huge green and red beetles. Gertrude tossed them into the web. Once again the spider made quick work of imprisoning the captives in one of his silky cocoons. “I’ll have to tell my mother about these webs so she can come over and harvest them.”

  “Oh, Illustrious One, what do you want your most humble servant to do for you now?” Waggs asked sarcastically.

  Gertrude punched Waggs in the arm. “How about getting the dresser and the bed over to my mother’s place?” They both grabbed one end of the dresser and hauled it out through the door. In a couple of hours they had the rest of Grumps’ belongings moved. Gertrude thanked Waggs and bid him a good day. He was tired from all of the lifting and carrying that the work had entailed. He entered the hovel once again. The smell of fresh-made blog and a large kettle of soup greeted the tired troll. Grumps was dozing in a chair in the corner, with Agabus nestled in his hands. “What are you doing, Mother?” Gertrude inquired.

  Winifred’s hands were deftly sewing away on a piece of sky-blue cloth. “I am working on my dress for the ball. If I do not have too many interruptions, I may get it done on time.” Winifred looked up at Gertrude and smiled. “Thank you for moving all of that stuff today. I really do appreciate it. Supper is almost ready; you should wash. I would like you to keep an eye on your grandfather while I go over and visit with my sister after dinner is finished. I want to give her a piece of my mind, and let her know about father.”

  “That will give me some time to set up my bed and put up some curtains for some privacy. I must go up to the castle tomorrow to talk with Octavius. I want to let him know that I am going to set up guards around the village. We must keep watch, as I fear we may be attacked at some point soon. The snows have kept the villains away, but I have noticed signs of a thaw coming. It will enable danger to stalk into town.”

  Winifred put down her sewing and finished preparing the night’s meal. Grumps put the kitten on a warm piece of cloth on the table next to him as he ate. Gertrude found himself hungry and in no time downed two huge bowls of soup. When dinner was over, the kitchen was cleaned.