Tangled

CHAPTER THIRTY

  Anna sat huddled against the cold, steely walls of the

  holding cell. Her hands trembled with fright and her

  fingers were stained black with ink from being

  fingerprinted during her booking and processing

  yesterday. Her first night behind bars was terrifying. The

  unfamiliar sounds of the cell and constant snoring and

  bickering of the other people locked in the adjoining cells

  had kept her awake. She was still visibly disturbed by the

  ordeal of what had happened at her home with Rose the

  day before and she was wondering why Ben hadn’t been

  to see her yet. Sure, he was injured during the scuffle, but

  he wasn’t hurt that badly, or at least she hadn’t thought

  so.

  Replays of the frightening events of yesterday kept

  flashing through her mind. She could still see the barrel

  of the gun right in front of her and she could feel the tears

  rolling down her cheeks. Her hands could still feel how

  tightly they were locked together around the trigger of the

  gun and how badly she was shaking while trying to steady

  her aim. The expression on Rose’s face haunted her like

  the memories of her father did. Now she had even more

  nightmares to taunt her.

  She moved away from the wall and stood up. Her eyes

  darted from one side of her cell to the other. The bars

  were so close. So close to her that she could feel the panic

  rising inside her like lava rising in a volcano. Her arms

  wrapped around her torso and she rubbed them up and

  down in an attempt to keep herself warm. Laughter rang

  out from somewhere down the hall. She couldn’t see who

  was there or what they were laughing at, all she knew was

  that it unnerved her. Not being able to see all around her

  was petrifying, how could she protect herself if she

  couldn’t see what was around her? How would she know if

  she was truly safe? Oh how she wished Ben was with her.

  The door to her cell suddenly slid open and a guard yelled

  to her.

  “Anna Jameson, step out into the corridor.”

  She walked towards the open door and poked her head

  out. Unable to see anything more than an empty corridor,

  she hesitantly took two steps outside her cell. A door at

  the end of the hall opened and a uniformed officer walked

  towards her. He stepped in front of her and stood there,

  just staring at her. Unsure what she was to do, she simply

  remained quiet and stared back.

  “You have a visitor, this way.” The officer walked past her

  and followed the corridor to the very end where he opened

  a door and waited for her to follow him in.

  Her feet felt like they were made of lead as she tried to put

  one in front of the other. Every step was an effort. She kept

  her head down and when she reached the officer, turned

  and walked through the open door.

  “Hello, Anna.”

  Her heart jumped into her throat. “Ben!” she ran towards

  him and tried to embrace him but he pulled away.

  “Take a seat,” he said, pulling a flimsy metal chair out

  from an even flimsier looking metal table.

  Anna did as she was told. “Thank God you’re here. I don’t

  know what they are going to do with me. What is

  happening, Ben?” her words were laced with worry.

  He stared at her and then fiddled with the padded

  bandage over his temple. “I’m fine, thanks for asking!” He

  replied with sarcasm.

  “I just knew you would be,” she cried, dismissing his tone.

  “You’re in a lot of trouble here, Anna,” he carried on. “But

  there’s nothing I can do for you now I’m afraid.”

  “What do you mean, nothing you can do for me? Ben

  you’ve got to help me. Please!” she begged him, unable

  to believe that he could be so cool and unhelpful to her.

  How could he treat her this way? He knew that she was in

  a bad way and he was standing there telling her he

  couldn’t help her.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

  “You can’t or you won’t?” she spat at him.

  Ben sighed and leaned into the table between them. “This

  time, Anna, I couldn’t help you even if I wanted to. You

  have told so many lies and dug yourself a hole that I can’t

  get you out of.”

  “But I didn’t lie to you, Ben, honestly.” she used the best

  innocent girl routine she could muster.

  “Oh for God sake, Anna.” his eyes flared at her. “Even now

  when you have been cornered and exposed, you still can’t

  tell me the truth!”

  She stared down at the dull metal table and whispered,

  “You know?”

  “Know about what? That you were there when Tessa died?

  That you knew what happened to her all along and lied to

  me about it? Or…”

  “Or what?” she shot a glare up at him.

  “That you are Tessa’s mother?” he blurted out. “There’s so

  much you didn’t tell me Anna, I could have helped you,

  but now… I just can’t.”

  Anna sat silent, no words could leave her mouth. She

  didn’t know what to say, nothing she said could change

  anything now.

  “I know everything now Anna,” Ben continued.

  “Yes, I know.” she stared at the wall behind him. “I told

  Jay everything about what happened that night.”

  “I’m not just talking about that,” he replied, pulling his

  chair closer in to the table.

  “Well, there’s nothing else to know then.”

  “There’s a lot more to know…”

  “Look, I have told you all everything. I don’t know what

  more you think I haven’t told you.”

  Ben lowered his head and his voice. “How about the fact

  that our entire marriage was based on a lie?”

  “That’s not true…”

  “You can’t even tell the truth when your very life counts on

  it, can you?” He slid his chair back so briskly that it flew

  out from behind him and hit the back wall. “I’m talking

  about you and what happened with your father.”

  Her eyes grew wide and the heart in her chest began to

  beat quicker. “I told you what happened with him. How

  many details do you want Ben? Would it satisfy you if I sat

  here and told you how he abused me and used me as a

  sex toy. Again? Jesus. I already told you about it years

  ago.” She turned her head away. “How many times are you

  going to make me relive those memories?”

  “You’re good, I’ll give you that much. A damn fine actress

  and an even better liar.” he hissed at her.

  “I didn’t lie to you about that, it did happen. How can you

  treat me so cruel? I suffered more than you will ever know,

  and you are making me suffer it all over again.” The tears

  welled in her eyes, she swallowed hard, and held them

  back.

  “I have no doubt you suffered at his hands and I am sorry

  for that, really I am. Why did you tell me he abandoned

  you? Was what really happened too hard for you to trust

  me with?”

  Anna fell back i
n her chair, her mouth ajar and her eyes

  wide. “How? How do you…”

  “How the hell do you think I know? I’m a bloody cop, for

  crying out loud!” he paced up and down the length of the

  room. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

  “I hoped…”

  “Yeah, and I hoped, too, Anna. Hoped that we could have

  had a better marriage, that we could have worked things

  out, that you could have one day trusted and loved me

  the way I did you. I had so many hopes for us, so many

  dreams.”

  She sat back quietly and listened to his words. They cut

  her to the bone, hearing how desperately he had wanted

  her to open up to him and be with him gave rise to an

  emotion she had not felt before, guilt. It had never

  occurred to her that this man may have truly loved her

  and just wanted nothing more than to be with her. For

  years she put so much energy into hiding her past and

  her true self from him, all for the sake of keeping secret. A

  life she wanted to forget. She had spent so much time

  convincing herself that he never cared for her and only

  used her for his own needs, and now she realised the

  truth. But it was too late.

  “I should have told you,” she admitted quietly. “I was

  ashamed Ben. Who wouldn’t be?”

  He turned away and stared out the small, barred window.

  The sunlight filtered through and into the small room

  they shared. It’s rays danced along the surface of the

  metal table and gave it the hint of lustre that it otherwise

  lacked.

  “You still should have told me,” he whispered. “Things

  could have been so different for us, better. You could have,

  at the very least, told me about Tessa. I would have

  understood, Anna.”

  “I know, I wish I had have told you. I was so scared that

  you would think terrible things about me. I’m not a bad

  person Ben, you have to believe that.”

  “I used to.”

  Anna jumped from her chair and ran to-wards him,

  grabbing him by the arm. ‚Please, don’t do this. Not when

  I need you the most.‛

  He shook her free and walked to the door on the opposite

  side of the room. “That’s what it’s always about, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t understand,” she cried, shaking her head.

  “What you need. It’s always about you and that is all that

  has ever mattered. I can’t believe I blamed myself for us

  failing.” He turned the doorknob and pushed the door

  open. “Now I realise that there wasn’t a damn thing I

  could have done to make us work. Goodbye, Anna.” Ben

  walked through the door and it slammed shut beside

  him with an echoing crash.

  Anna felt her very last safety net disintegrate around her.