A New Beginning

  “Well, if you ever need an ear, I’m here,” River finally said.

  “I know. And thank you. Right now I’m just concerned with these possessive feelings I have. Like I sometimes feel like I don’t want Jax to touch Brooks anymore, and that’s not fair.”

  “Probably stems from the fact Jax isn’t werewolf. You don’t want him near your pregnant mate.”

  “Fuck, what are we going to do?”

  “Jax still refuses to take the bite?”

  David nodded.

  “I don’t know. This is all unprecedented.”

  David stared at the burbling water of the creek, wondering what lay ahead for his little family.

  * * * *

  Later that night, after everyone had gone to sleep, David lay in bed beside Brooks listening to Jax brush his teeth in the adjoining bathroom. “You feeling okay?” he asked Brooks.

  “Same as always,” Brooks said. “It doesn’t seem real.”

  “It’s real.” David pulled Brooks closer and kissed him.

  Jax joined wearing only a pair of jockey shorts. Jax’s body was beautiful, every muscle standing out as though carved in stone. Since they’d been in the city, Jax had been going to the gym a lot, and David wouldn’t have believed the man could look better than he had, but he did. He was so fucking sexy with his dreadlocks, tawny skin, and those light eyes that seemed to pierce right through David. He loved Jax; that hadn’t changed. What had changed was David’s feelings about sharing Brooks, and if he wanted to save their relationship, he needed to fight those feelings.

  David couldn’t shut off his mind. Since the day David had first submitted to Jax, everything had begun to change. Brooks submitted not only to his alpha, but to Jax, too.

  For just a moment, David allowed himself to consider Jax might have been the one to get Brooks pregnant. Fathering the baby would solidify Jax’s place as head of their family. David would be a second-best alpha. He shuddered. An alpha bitch.

  Brooks threaded his fingers through David’s as Jax kissed the beta. Was it David’s imagination, or had Jax been paying extra attention to Brooks since finding out the beta was pregnant? David feigned sleep, mind racing. The term alpha bitch was old, and not one David had heard often. Legend had it that once an alpha took over another alpha and his three mates. Usually when an alpha was challenged for his mates, there was a fight to the death, but in this instance the alpha submitted and became a lesser alpha in the mating. An alpha bitch.

  Gods, am I that weak? Did I allow myself to become the alpha bitch in this relationship?

  The fact Jax wasn’t even a werewolf only made it worse in David’s eyes. He’d let a human take over.

  The bed jostled as, behind David, Jax mounted Brooks. And David did nothing. Didn’t even try to join in. He doubted he could get hard if he wanted to with the words alpha bitch echoing in his mind. He continued to pretend to be asleep while Jax effectively cuckolded him. What was he going to do? Not a damn thing without breaking away from Jax entirely, and he didn’t think he could do that. Against all reason, he still loved Jax. David looked from beneath his lowered lashes to see Jax holding Brooks’ legs in the air while he thrust into the beta. Brooks had a look of supreme pleasure on his face, and his cock lay pink and swollen on his abdomen. When Brooks reached for it, Jax knocked his hand away. Exactly like an alpha would do. And Brooks accepted it.

  David felt sick. Jax needed to take the bite. He had to.

  David thought Jax might be happy as a werewolf if he just took the step, but forcing the bite on Jax was dangerous. If Jax was not inclined to be a werewolf, a forced bite would make him into one of the Turned. A feral, crazed, murderous half-breed. Gods, David couldn’t allow that to happen.

  “Jax!” Brooks yelled, cock spurting onto his belly.

  Jax swore beneath his breath, speeding his thrusts, body jerking and ass clenching as he came. He collapsed onto the mattress beside Brooks.

  David lay still until both his lovers’ breathing evened out in sleep. Even then, it was a long time until he could sleep himself.

  Chapter 12: Brooks

  Maura was not happy when Brooks told her he quit. He’d waited as long as he could, but he was beginning to show, and it had to be now. Besides, once David found out what the woman had meant by ‘tricks,’ he’d soured on the beta working there. So far Brooks’ popularity as a dancer had allowed him to avoid performing those services, but it wouldn’t be long until Maura pressed the issue.

  Maura narrowed her eyes at Brooks and puffed on her cigar. “I went out on a limb hiring you and that friend of yours when I didn’t know you from Adam.” She blew out smoke and the smell made Brooks gag. “He wasn’t here a month before he quit, and now you’re telling me you’re quitting, too?”

  Brooks used the excuse Jax had suggested. “I’m sorry, but I have a family emergency.”

  Maura rolled her eyes. “I’ll mail you your check.” She turned her back, summarily dismissing him.

  When Brooks stepped outside, it was as though a weight had been lifted from him. He’d enjoyed dancing at Grind, but being around so many humans had put a strain on him that was much worse after he got pregnant. As he walked down the sidewalk, he remembered the first time he’d been to the city with David. He’d been scared, and David had been so kind and reassuring, which had made Brooks fall even more in love with the alpha. At the time, Brooks thought he didn’t stand a chance with David because of Jax. Funny how things change.

  Brooks remembered the hotel where they’d stayed and how he’d walked into the room to find Jax pinning David to the bed, obviously in the middle of an intimate moment. Later, David had admitted to Brooks that Jax liked to top sometimes. Brooks wondered if Jax still occasionally topped David. If the human did, Brooks had never seen it.

  The very thought of his alpha being topped was unimaginable to Brooks. He simply couldn’t picture it, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. Alphas were not submissive, period, and Brooks thought David must love Jax a hell of a lot to do that for him. Knowing that only endeared the alpha more to Brooks. David must be very strong to be able to go against instinct and nature to please his lover.

  Assuming it still went on, Brooks didn’t mind that David and Jax kept that part of their relationship private. He was perfectly content to pretend he’d forgotten their conversation on their trip to the city and feign ignorance of what David might occasionally do for Jax. In fact, he was content about just about everything these days, except maybe still being uncertain of Jax’s real feelings for him. Brooks knew the human desired him, and maybe even was fond of him. But love? Could Brooks even expect that Jax grow to love him as the human loved David?

  Placing his hands on his belly as he walked toward the diner where he’d agreed to meet Jax for lunch, Brooks thought he’d much rather concentrate on the new life inside him than worry about something he couldn’t change. Liam’s and Sawyer’s babies were so cute and had already shifted twice. Brooks wondered what his pup would look like. If Jax sired it, would it even be a werewolf? Would it be a girl? He pushed that thought away.

  David was right; he had to be the father of Brooks’ child. David was an alpha, Brooks’ alpha. It only stood to reason that he would be the one. He still couldn’t believe he was pregnant, even though it had always been a possibility. A beta could have one child in his lifetime, and never knew when he’d be fertile, so Brooks hadn’t given it much thought.

  Jax was already seated when Brooks entered the small diner a block from Grind. He looked so comfortable in blue jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt that it made the beta realize just how happy Jax must be back in the city with fellow humans. He seemed to enjoy being back at the Congress and the added responsibilities he’d taken on with the rogues, and he and Kane seemed to be getting closer from working together.

  Jax smiled at the short, middle-aged waitress as she placed two waters on the table, and that smile widened when he spotted Brooks.

  Brooks didn’t think it was his imaginati
on that Jax’s gaze slid to the beta’s stomach before rising to lock eyes. Was he worried Brooks had suddenly begun to show? That the humans around them would notice?

  “Hungry?” Jax handed Brooks a menu.

  “Famished,” Brooks settled into the blue vinyl booth.

  “You didn’t skip breakfast again, did you?”

  Brooks had gotten a lecture from Jax the week before for skipping the meal. He’d begun feeling queasy in the mornings and found it difficult to keep food down. “I had a muffin.” Brooks looked over the selections, keeping back the fact that he’d thrown up the muffin five minutes after eating it. “Soup looks good.”

  “I was thinking of having some myself. Or the chili.” Jax relaxed in the booth, one arm slung over the back. “It’s so cold out.”

  Brooks nodded. February had brought frigid weather to the region, although the werewolves barely noticed it. “I don’t think my stomach can handle chili, unless it’s the mild venison kind Sam makes.”

  Brooks closed the menu and set it aside.

  “Did you quit?” Jax asked after they’d ordered.

  “Yeah. Maura wasn’t happy.”

  The waitress returned, and Jax ordered. Brooks breathed a sigh of relief when she left, and they were alone again. He really didn’t like to be out around humans. Working at Grind had been okay because he didn’t have to mingle with them, just dance. But out like this, he felt exposed. Were they looking at him? Guessing he wasn’t like them?

  “You okay?”

  Brooks realized he was fidgeting with the napkin, so smoothed it on his lap.

  “Sure. Just a little tired.”

  “I guess that’s to be expected. If you’re the same as…” Jax left the sentence hanging, but Brooks knew what he was thinking. The same as female humans when they’re pregnant.

  Being out in public with Jax wasn’t the same as being at home with the human. Jax remained slightly tense, but Brooks sensed it wasn’t for the same reasons the rest of them got tense, brooding when away from the pack house. Jax acted tougher, and definitely slightly removed from Brooks. Maybe it was because Jax didn’t want to be thought of as gay. That was the word the humans used for those who loved the same sex. Odd that they used a word that meant happy—it didn’t sound derogatory at all. But Josiah once explained that there were other, negative words used when harm was intended.

  Jax’s unease stemmed from his family, David had explained, who ran hot and cold about Jax’s sexuality and didn’t like werewolves much. Brooks supposed this would make things difficult for Jax, and he tried to be understanding, even though he could really use reassurance when they were out together, especially now.

  The waitress arrived with their soup, and Brooks concentrated on keeping it down. Mid-way through the bowl, he thought of something he’d been meaning to ask.

  “Do you think David’s been acting weird lately?”

  “Weird like how?” Jax wiped his mouth with his napkin.

  Brooks tried to put it into words. “Just kind of brooding, I guess. I thought maybe something’s bothering him. You two didn’t get into an argument, did you?”

  “David gets mad about little things, but he always gets over it. I’ve been working a lot, so we haven’t talked much lately.”

  Brooks chewed on his bottom lip. “I’m wondering if it bothers him that the baby could be yours.” He hadn’t been planning on admitting that, but David refused to entertain the idea that Jax could be the sire and now that the words were out, Brooks was eager to hear what Jax thought. He watched shadows flicker in Jax’s eyes, which had darkened to the color of the winter sky outside.

  “David was eager for the three of us to be together,” Jax said, keeping his voice low, reminding Brooks there were humans all around them who wouldn’t be accepting. “I don’t see how he couldn’t have realized that either one of us could…make this happen.” He gestured toward Brooks, and the beta knew it wasn’t a slight—that Jax was just avoiding saying the words around the humans. Still, the beta found it hurtful.

  “I guess. I just think, as an alpha, it bothers David. I mean, he won’t even admit it could be yours.”

  Jax put down his spoon, eyes taking in everything around them. “You finished eating?”

  Brooks nodded.

  Jax paid, and they walked outside. Cold air hit them, and Jax shivered beneath his big coat. Although Brooks felt the chill, it didn’t penetrate.

  “Are you angry?” Brooks asked Jax’s stiff profile.

  Jax’s huff of breath lingered as smoke in the air. “Not at you.”

  “But at David.”

  “He blows the whole alpha, beta, omega thing out of proportion, don’t you think? But I guess you wouldn’t.”

  Brooks frowned. “He doesn’t. It’s pretty amazing the way he deals with everything. He must love you a lot.”

  Jax’s jaw eased somewhat. “What do you mean, deals with everything?”

  “You being a human and…and sharing me. And all the responsibility of helping River keep the pack safe in the city.”

  Again, Jax looked around as though for listening ears.

  “You just don’t understand, Jax. But that’s not your fault.”

  Jax pinned Brooks with a glare. “You think this isn’t tough for me? I could have gotten a man pregnant, for fuck’s sake.”

  Brooks tried not to let the comment hurt, but his hormones were playing havoc with his emotions. His eyes and nose stung with tears he refused to release and hoped they could be blamed on the sharp wind.

  “The comfort and safety of the pack is one thing,” Jax said, “but worrying over what an alpha would or wouldn’t do in our relationship is a stupid waste of time, particularly when I don’t give a rat’s ass about it.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Jax looked around before leaning in close to Brooks. “Everything’s about how tough and dominant an alpha’s supposed to be, and that’s just bullshit. Why would I care about something like that? Do you even care?”

  Brooks stared. “Is this about sex? Because I know David lets you top him sometimes.”

  Jax made a disbelieving face. “Is that what he told you? That he lets me top him?”

  “He told me once, after I walked in on you two at the hotel that time, that as a human, you like to top sometimes, and he allows it.”

  Jax chuckled mirthlessly. Brooks wasn’t sure why the human was so angry about this.

  “Yes, I like to top. Very much. And as much as I like to top, David loves to bottom for me twice as much.”

  Brooks stopped walking. Was Jax purposely trying to make David look bad to him? “I’m with David because you wanted me to be. You suggested it.”

  Jax frowned. “What’s that got to do with anything?” He rubbed his face. “Look, I’m sorry. It just puts me in a bad mood when we talk about alphas and what they’re supposed to and not supposed to be. Besides, maybe all the worry’s for nothing. Maybe a male human can’t get a male werewolf pregnant. Ever thought of that?” He continued walking, and Brooks had no choice but to hurry to catch up.

  “I’m not worried. I said maybe David is. He’d have reason to be. Are you worried? Do you not want the baby to be yours?” When Jax didn’t immediately answer, Brooks’ heart started hammering. “You choose to be with us. I know you don’t want to be one of us, but you love David, right?” He didn’t add and you love me, although he was thinking it. Jax was human and not really their mate—he wouldn’t naturally love Brooks like a werewolf mate would. Maybe if David was the one carrying a baby, Jax wouldn’t be so upset. The thought was unexpectedly crushing.

  “Yes, of course I do.” Jax sounded frustrated. “Look, can we change the subject? This is really a sore spot for me.”

  Brooks nodded, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it.

  Brooks was relieved when Jax hailed a cab.

  When they entered the house, Jax headed upstairs. Brooks passed the living room and saw Josiah and River st
anding toe-to-toe, obviously in the middle of a heated conversation.

  As Brooks neared the kitchen, he thought he heard the first omega whisper, “Please, River,” and looked over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of River pulling Josiah to his chest in an embrace. The two didn’t always see eye-to-eye, but they managed to work things out. Brooks admired them for that. Shouldn’t he, Jax, and David be able to work their problems out, too?

  Why the hell had Jax dragged Brooks into this relationship and then stayed if he had such a problem with them? Was it all out of love for David and now Brooks was stuck in the middle of the drama with a baby growing in his belly?

  Sam stood at the stove cooking while Leo read a newspaper at the table. He looked up when Brooks entered.

  “Hey, how’d it go?”

  Brooks had to think a moment about what the alpha meant. “As expected. Maura was pissed.”

  “She’ll find someone else soon enough.”

  “I’m sure she will. Are you working tonight?”

  “No, I’m off.” Leo went back to reading.

  Brooks was glad Leo had the night off; he’d been working two weeks straight. Everyone with outside jobs was struggling to build up some savings. Jax had offered to open an account at a bank, but River had refused. No one knew where he hid the money. Well, Brooks suspected David did. And perhaps Josiah.

  “How are you feeling, Sam?”

  Sam looked incredibly cute with his baby bump sticking out from his small frame. Pregnancy suited him, as it did most omegas. Brooks would probably look like a disgusting blob when he got big.

  “Less sick these days,” Sam said, covering a steaming pot with a lid.

  “I wish I could say the same,” Brooks said. “I’ve thrown up my breakfast for the past two months.”

  The shriek of an angry baby pierced the air.

  “PJ hates baths,” Sam said, glancing down the hall.

  Although the smallest of Sawyer and Liam’s three babies, PJ—short for Paul James—had the shortest temper. His shriek’s rose to glass-shattering intensity before abruptly cutting off and being replaced with giggling and sounds of splashing.