The Tale of Fatty Coon

  "If I liked turkeys I would certainly go down there some night and getone," said Jasper Jay.

  XII

  FORTY FAT TURKEYS

  When Jasper Jay told Fatty Coon about Farmer Green's forty fat turkeysFatty felt hungrier than ever.

  "Oh! I mustn't go near Farmer Green's house!" he said. "My mother toldme to keep away from there. . . . What time did you say the turkeys goto roost?"

  "Oh! they go to roost every night at sundown," Jasper Jay explained."And there they sit, up in the tree, all night long. They're fastasleep. And you would have no trouble at all in catching as many as youwanted. . . . But of course, if you're afraid--why there's no use of MYtalking about it. There's a plenty of other coons in these woods who'dbe glad to know about those turkeys. And maybe they'd have the mannersto say 'Thank you!' too." And with a hoarse, sneering laugh Jasper Jayflew away.

  That was enough for Fatty. He made up his mind that he would show JasperJay that HE was not afraid. And he wanted a turkey to eat, too. He saidnothing to his mother about Jasper's news. But that very night, when themoon came up, and the lights in Farmer Green's house were all out, FattyCoon went stealing across the fields.

  He was not afraid, for he knew that Farmer Green and all his family werein their beds. And it was so cold that Fatty felt sure that FarmerGreen's dogs would be inside their kennels.

  Fatty did not intend to make any noise. The turkeys were asleep--soJasper Jay had told him--and he expected to grab one of them so swiftlyand silently that the other turkeys would never know it.

  When Fatty Coon came to Farmer Green's yard he had no trouble at all infinding the spreading oak. He could see the turkeys plainly where theydozed on the bare branches. And in less time than it takes to tell itFatty had climbed the tree. On the very lowest limb there was a row offour plump turkeys, all sound asleep. And Fatty reached out and seizedthe nearest one. He seized the turkey by the neck, so that the big birdcould not call out. But Fatty was not quite quick enough. Before hecould pull her off her perch the turkey began to flap her wings, and shestruck the turkey next her, so that THAT turkey woke up and began togobble and flap HER wings. Then the next turkey on the limb woke up. Andthe first thing that Fatty Coon knew, every one of the thirty-nineturkeys that were left was going gobble-gob-gob-gob-gobble! And some ofthem went sailing off across the yard. One of them lighted on top of theporch just outside Farmer Green's window and it seemed to Fatty thatthat one made the greatest racket of all.

  Farmer Green's window flew up; and Farmer Green's voice called "Spot!Spot!"

  Fatty Coon did not wait to hear anything more. He dropped the turkey hehad seized and slipped down to the ground. And then he ran toward thewoods as fast as he could go.

  Farmer Green's dog Spot was barking now. And Fatty wanted to climb oneof the trees by the roadside. But he remembered, the narrow escape hehad had when the dog had treed him near the cornfield. So he neverstopped until he reached the woods. Then he went nimbly up into thetrees. And while Spot was barking at the foot of the first tree heclimbed, Fatty was travelling through the tree-tops toward home.

  He never said anything to his mother about Farmer Green's turkeys. Butthe next time he saw Jasper Jay Fatty told him exactly what he thoughtof him.

  "Ha! ha!" Jasper Jay only laughed. And he did not seem at all surprisedthat Fatty had fallen into trouble. To tell the truth, he was only sorrybecause Fatty had escaped. Jasper Jay did not like Fatty Coon. And hehad told him about the forty fat turkeys because he hoped that Fattywould get caught if he tried to steal one of them.

  "Wait till I catch you!" Fatty said.

  But Jasper Jay only laughed harder than ever when Fatty said that. Heseemed to think it was a great joke. He was most annoying.

  XIII

  FATTY MEETS JIMMY RABBIT

  For once Fatty Coon was not hungry. He had eaten so much of FarmerGreen's corn that he felt as if he could not swallow another mouthful.He was strolling homewards through the woods when someone called to him.It was Jimmy Rabbit.

  "Where are you going, Fatty?" Jimmy Rabbit asked.

  "Home!" said Fatty.

  "Are you hungry?" Jimmy Rabbit asked anxiously.

  "I should say not!" Fatty answered. "I've just had the finest meal Iever ate in my life."

  Jimmy Rabbit seemed to be relieved to hear that.

  "Come on over and play," he said. "My brother and I are playingbarber-shop over in the old sycamore tree; and we need you."

  "All right!" said Fatty. It was not often that any of the smallerforest-people were willing to play with him, because generally Fattycouldn't help getting hungry and then he usually tried to eat hisplaymates. "What do you need me for?" Fatty asked, as he trudged alongbeside Jimmy Rabbit.

  "We need you for the barber's pole," Jimmy explained. "You can comeinside the hollow tree and stick your tail out through a hole. It willmake a fine barber's pole--though the stripes DO run the wrong way, tobe sure."

  Fatty Coon was greatly pleased. He looked around at his tail and feltvery proud.

  "I've got a beautiful tail--haven't I?" he asked.

  "Um--yes!" Jimmy Rabbit replied, "though I must say it isn't one that Iwould care for myself... But come along! There may be people waiting toget their hair cut."

  Sure enough! When they reached the make-believe barber-shop there was agray squirrel inside, and Jimmy Rabbit's brother was busily snipping thefur off Mr. Squirrel's head.

  "How much do you charge for a hair-cut?" Fatty asked.

  "Oh, that depends!" Jimmy Rabbit said. "Mr. Squirrel will pay us sixcabbage leaves. But if we were to cut your hair we'd have to ask more.We'd want a dozen cabbage leaves, at least."

  "Well, don't I get anything for the use of my tail?" Fatty asked. He hadalready stuck it out through the hole; and he had half a mind to pull itin again.

  Jimmy Rabbit and his brother whispered together for a few moments.

  "I'll tell you what we'll do," Jimmy said. "If you'll let us use yourtail for the barber's pole, we'll cut your hair free. Isn't that fairenough?"

  Fatty Coon was satisfied. But he insisted that Jimmy begin to cut hishair at once.

  "I'm doing my part of the work now," he pointed out. "So there's noreason why you shouldn't do yours."

  With that Jimmy Rabbit began. He clipped and snipped at Fatty's head,pausing now and then to see the effect. He smiled once in a while,behind Fatty's back, because Fatty certainly did look funny with his furall ragged and uneven.

  "Moustache trimmed?" Jimmy Rabbit asked, when he had finished withFatty's head.

  "Certainly--of course!" Fatty Coon answered. And pretty soon Fatty'slong white moustache lay on the floor of the barber-shop. Fatty felt abit uneasy as he looked down and saw his beautiful moustache lying athis feet. "You haven't cut it too short, I hope," he said.

  "No, indeed!" Jimmy Rabbit assured him. "It's the very latest style."

  "What on earth has happened to you?" Mrs. Coon cried,--when Fattyreached home that night. "Have you been in a fire?"

  "It's the latest style, Mother," Fatty told her. "At least, that's whatJimmy Rabbit says." He felt the least bit uneasy again.

  "Did you let that Jimmy Rabbit do that to you?" Mrs. Coon asked.

  Fatty hung his head. He said nothing at all. But his mother knew.

  "Well! you ARE a sight!" she exclaimed. "It will be months before youlook like my child again. I shall be ashamed to go anywhere with you."

  Fatty Coon felt very foolish. And there was just one thing that kept himfrom crying. And THAT was THIS: he made up his mind that when he playedbarber-shop with Jimmy Rabbit again he would get even with him.

  But when the next day came, Fatty couldn't find Jimmy Rabbit and hisbrother anywhere. They kept out of sight. But they had told all theother forest-people about the trick they had played on Fatty Coon. Andeverywhere Fatty went he heard nothing but hoots and jeers and laughs.He felt very silly. And he wished that he might meet Jimmy Rabbit andhis brother.

  XIV

  TH
E BARBER-SHOP AGAIN

  Although Fatty Coon never could get Jimmy Rabbit and his brother to playbarber-shop with him again, Fatty saw no reason why he should not playthe game without them. So one day he led his brother Blackie over to theold hollow sycamore. His sisters, Fluffy and Cutey, wanted to go too.But Fatty would not let them. "Girls can't be barbers," he said. And ofcourse they could find no answer to that.

  As soon as Fatty and Blackie reached the old sycamore I am sorry to saythat a dispute arose. Each of them wanted to use his own tail for thebarber's pole. They couldn't both stick their tails through the hole inthe tree at the same time. So they finally agreed to take turns.

  Playing barber-shop wasn't so much fun as they had expected, becausenobody would come near to get his hair cut. You see, the smallerforest-people were all afraid to go inside that old sycamore where Fattyand Blackie were. There was no telling when the two brothers might getso hungry they would seize and eat a rabbit or a squirrel or a chipmunk.And you know it isn't wise to run any such risk as that.

  Fatty offered to cut Blackie's hair. But Blackie remembered what hismother had said when Fatty came home with his moustache gone and hishead all rough and uneven. So Blackie wouldn't let Fatty touch him. ButHE offered to cut Fatty's hair--what there was left of it.

  "No, thank you!" said Fatty. "I only get my hair cut once a month." Ofcourse, he had never had his hair cut except that once, in his wholelife.

  Now, since there was so little to do inside the hollow tree, Fatty andBlackie kept quarreling. Blackie would no sooner stick his tail throughthe hole in the side of the tree than Fatty would want HIS turn. Andwhen Fatty had succeeded in squeezing HIS tail out through the openingBlackie would insist that Fatty's time was up.

  It was Fatty's turn, and Blackie was shouting to him to stand aside andgive him a chance.

  "I won't!" said Fatty. "I'm going to stay here just as long as Iplease."

  The words were hardly out of his mouth when he gave a sharp squeal, asif something hurt him. And he tried to pull his tail out of the hole. Hewanted to get it out now. But alas! it would not come! It was caughtfast! And the harder Fatty pulled the more it hurt him.

  "Go out and see what's the matter!" he cried to Blackie.

  But Blackie wouldn't stir. He was afraid to leave the shelter of thehollow tree.

  "It may be a bear that has hold of your tail," he told Fatty. Andsomehow, that idea made Fatty tremble all over.

  "Oh, dear! oh, dear!" he wailed. "What shall I do? Oh! whatever shall Ido?" He began to cry. And Blackie cried too. How Fatty wished that hismother was there to tell him what to do!

  But he knew of no way to fetch her. Even if she were at home she couldnever hear him calling from inside the tree. So Fatty gave up all hopeof her helping.

  "Please, Mr. Bear, let go of my tail!" he cried, when he could stand thepain no longer.

  The only answer that came was a low growl, which frightened Fatty andBlackie more than ever. And then, just as they both began to howl at thetop of their voices Fatty's tail was suddenly freed. He was pulling onit so hard that he fell all in a heap on the floor of the barber-shop.And that surprised him.

  But he was still more surprised when he heard his mother say--

  "Stop crying and come out--both of you!" Fatty and Blackie scrambled outof the hollow sycamore. Fatty looked all around. But there was no bearto be seen anywhere--no one but his mother.

  "Did you frighten the bear away, Mother?" he asked.

  "There was no bear," Mrs. Coon told him. "And it's lucky for you thatthere wasn't. I saw your tail sticking out of this tree and I thought Iwould teach you a lesson. Now, don't ever do such a foolish thing again.Just think what a fix you would have been in if Johnnie Green had comealong. He could have caught you just as easily as anything."

  Fatty Coon was so glad to be free once more that he promised to be goodforever after. And he was just as good as any little coon could be--allthe rest of that day.

  XV

  FATTY VISITS THE SMOKE-HOUSE

  The winter was fast going. And one fine day in February Fatty Coon creptout of his mother's house to enjoy the warm sunshine--and see what hecould find to eat.

  Fatty was much thinner than he had been in the fall. He had spent somuch of the time sleeping that he had really eaten very little. And nowhe hardly knew himself as he looked at his sides. They no longer stuckout as they had once.

  After nosing about the swamp and the woods all the afternoon Fattydecided that there was no use in trying to get a meal there. The groundwas covered with snow. And except for rabbit tracks--and a fewsquirrels'--he could find nothing that even suggested food. And lookingat those tracks only made him hungrier than ever.

  For a few minutes Fatty thought deeply. And then he turned about andwent straight toward Farmer Green's place. He waited behind the fencejust beyond Farmer Green's house; and when it began to grow dark hecrept across the barnyard.

  As Fatty passed a small, low building he noticed a delicious smell. Andhe stopped right there. He had gone far enough. The door was open alittle way. And after one quick look all around--to make sure there wasnobody to see him--Fatty slipped inside.

  It was almost dark inside Farmer Green's smokehouse--for that was whatthe small, low building was called. It was almost dark; but Fatty couldsee just as well as you and I can see in the daytime. There was a longrow of hams hung up in a line. Underneath them were white ashes, whereFarmer Green had built wood fires, to smoke the hams. But the fires wereout, now; and Fatty was in no danger of being burned.

  The hams were what Fatty Coon had smelled. And the hams were what Fattyintended to eat. He decided that he would eat them all--though of coursehe could never have done that--at least, not in one night; nor in aweek, either. But when it came to eating, Fatty's courage never failedhim. He would have tried to eat an elephant, if he had had the chance.

  Fatty did not stop to look long at that row of hams. He climbed a postthat ran up the side of the house and he crept out along the pole fromwhich the hams were hung.

  He stopped at the very first ham he came to. There was no sense in goingany further. And Fatty dropped on top of the ham and in a twinkling hehad torn off a big, delicious mouthful.

  Fatty could not eat fast enough. He wished he had two mouths--he was sohungry. But he did very well, with only ONE. In no time at all he hadmade a great hole in the ham. And he had no idea of stopping. But he didstop. He stopped very suddenly. For the first thing he knew, somethingthrew him right down upon the floor. And the ham fell on top of him andnearly knocked him senseless.

  He choked and spluttered; for the ashes filled his mouth and his eyes,and his ears, too. For a moment he lay there on his back; but soon hemanaged to kick the heavy ham off his stomach and then he felt a littlebetter. But he was terribly frightened. And though his eyes smarted sohe could hardly see, he sprang up and found the doorway.

  Fatty swallowed a whole mouthful of ashes as he dashed across thebarnyard. And he never stopped running until he was almost home. He waspuzzled. Try as he would, he couldn't decide what it was that had flunghim upon the floor. And when he told his mother about his adventure--ashe did a whole month later--she didn't know exactly what had happened,either.

  "It was some sort of trap, probably," Mrs. Coon said.

  But for once Mrs. Coon was mistaken.

  It was very simple. In his greedy haste Fatty had merely bitten throughthe cord that fastened the ham to the pole. And of course it had at oncefallen, carrying Fatty with it!

  But what do you suppose? Afterward, when Fatty had grown up, and hadchildren of his own, he often told them about the time he had escapedfrom the trap in Farmer Green's smokehouse.

  Fatty's children thought it very exciting. It was their favorite story.And they made their father tell it over and over again.

  XVI

  FATTY COON PLAYS ROBBER

  After Fatty Coon played barber-shop with Jimmy Rabbit and his brother itwas a long time before he met them again. But one day
Fatty waswandering through the woods when he caught sight of Jimmy. Jimmy dodgedbehind a tree. And Fatty saw Jimmy's brother peep from behind another.You see, his ears were so long that they stuck far beyond the tree, andFatty couldn't help seeing them.

  "Hello!" Fatty called. "I'm glad to see you." And he told the truth,too. He had been trying to find those two brothers for weeks, because hewanted to get even with them for cutting off his moustache. Jimmy andhis brother hopped out from behind their trees.

  "Hello!" said Jimmy. "We were just looking for you." Probably he meantto say, "We were just looking AT you." He was somewhat upset by meetingFatty; for he knew that Fatty was angry with him.

  "Oh, ho! You were, were you?" Fatty answered. He began to slide down thetree he had been climbing.

  Jimmy Rabbit and his brother edged a little further away.

  "Better not come too near us!" he said. "We've both got the pink-eye,and you don't want to catch it."

  Fatty paused and looked at the brothers. Sure enough! their eyes were aspink as anything.

  "Does it hurt much?" Fatty asked.

  "Well--it does and it doesn't," Jimmy replied. "I just stuck a brierinto one of my eyes a few minutes ago and it hurt awful, then. Butyou'll be perfectly safe, so long as you don't touch us."

  "How long does it last?" Fatty inquired.

  "Probably we'll never get over it," Jimmy Rabbit said cheerfully. Andhis brother nodded his head, as much as to say, "That's so!"

  Fatty Coon was just the least bit alarmed. He really thought that therewas something the matter with their eyes. You see, though the Rabbitbrothers' eyes were always pink (for they were born that way), he hadnever noticed it before. So Fatty thought it would be safer not to gotoo near them.