Morris Hollett and St Vernon’s Ward for Strange & Unusual Diseases

7. The Bony Man

  Have you ever woken up at a strange time, but you don’t know why? Well that happened to Morris – something had woken him. He looked at the clock. It was one o’clock in the morning.

  Then he heard it; a voice creeping through the fog of his half-awake state.

  ‘Wake up dopey!’

  ‘What?’ He jumped up quickly and turned on the bedside light.

  ‘Oi! Careful! I’m on your pilloooooow!’

  Morris turned to see Peter in an untidy heap on his bed.

  ‘Why, you’re – !’

  ‘Smaller, yes I know!’ said Peter. ‘I’m shrinking a bit every day! Come on, we’re going to show you where you get your magic!’

  ‘We?’

  At that moment his door clicked and opened wide enough for another boy to come into his room. He was roughly Morris’ height and had tight curly straw-coloured hair. As soon as he saw Morris he beamed a smile and said ‘Hi.’

  ‘This is Eye-eye,’ said Peter.

  ‘Eye-eye?’ said Morris.

  ‘Oh yes, that’s because of these.’ The boy turned and pointed with his thumb to the back of his head.

  Morris looked then noticed, eyes, lots of them, mingling amongst his curls of hair, all blinking at the same time.

  ‘Wow,’ he said.

  ‘It was ok at first but now it’s getting a bit silly,’ said Eye-eye. ‘I have to keep my hair quite short, you know what it’s like when you’ve got a hair in your eye…’

  The boys left the room and Eye-eye led them through the maze of deserted corridors. All that could be heard was their soft footsteps and they stopped every now and then just to check for other noises.

  They pushed through a plastic partition across one corridor and they stepped from a bleached white, squeaky-clean world into the forgotten part of the hospital. The lighting was reduced to the odd bulb hanging from the ceiling, the walls were bare, the floor messy and their path littered with old furniture. The air was damp and much chillier here.

  ‘We’re nearly there,’ said Peter from Morris’ pocket.

  They turned a corner and came face to face with a huge, arched, wooden door set in a frame of large sandstone blocks.

  ‘Here,’ said Peter.

  ‘A door?’ breathed Morris. ‘You’ve brought me to see, a door?’

  ‘Not any door,’ said Eye-eye. ‘The Old Door.’

  ‘This is the door that used to lead to the old hospital. You get your powers from here,’ exclaimed Peter. ‘We found it when we were exploring the other night and we overheard the Doctors talking about it. We couldn’t hear everything but apparently there’s magic stuff behind there and they mentioned your name!’

  Morris looked closer. It certainly appeared to be old. He noticed strange letters carved into the stonework that surrounded it, and there were massive fancy iron hinges on either side. In the centre hung an imposing black knocker in the shape of a crescent moon.

  ‘Um,’ ummed Morris. ‘It doesn’t have an opening. I mean there are hinges and that knocker but I can’t see how it opens.’

  ‘Yes, we saw that,’ said Eye-eye.

  ‘Go on,’ urged Peter.

  ‘What?’ said Morris.

  ‘Knock it!’

  ‘But –,’ he looked that their expectant faces and realized that he really had no choice.

  THUNK – THUNK

  The knocker chilled his hand and the noise echoed off the walls.

  They waited, expectantly.

  Silence.

  THUNK –THUNK

  Morris winced at the broken silence.

  Nothing.

  ‘Try and open it!’ said Peter.

  ‘How?’ said Morris.

  ‘Push it,’ said Eye-eye.

  Morris pushed but the door didn’t move. He leaned all of his weight in and still it wouldn’t budge. Eye-eye joined in, and even Peter tried to help.

  The door remained firmly shut.

  ‘Oh,’ said Eye-eye finally.

  ‘Perhaps it’s because I’m not ready yet,’ said Morris.

  ‘Maybe…well…hope so,’ said Eye-eye.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Morris, ‘I’ll tell you what, when I get my powers you will be my first two patients.’

  ‘Really?’ They both replied.

  ‘I guarantee it,’ said Morris who really wanted to be able to help them right now.

  Peter pointed out the time, and they decided that they should return to their rooms.

  They stepped from the gloom into the brightly lit corridors and retraced their footsteps. The place was eerily quiet until Eye-eye suddenly stopped and said, ‘Er, hello.’

  Morris saw no one. ‘What? There’s no one here.’

  ‘Not there,’ Eye-eye pointed ahead, ‘there,’ signalling over his shoulder.

  Morris turned.

  Standing in the passageway stood a tall bony man dressed in a tweed suit. He had a drawn face and a hooked nose. Puffs of silver hair wrapped his ears and stretched out like horns and the top of his head shone as if it was regularly polished. But it was the eyes that unnerved Morris; they looked at him greedily.

  This was the man from the other night.

  Dark beady eyes scanned the boys and after a moment his thin lips drew back into a sly smile.

  ‘Hmmm, Hollett…so you’ve made some friends. How nice!’ The voice hissed like a snake and echoed like they were inside an empty cathedral. He traced his tongue along his lips as if he was about to eat a large piece of cake.

  He began to walk slowly toward them.

  The boys edged back.

  ‘I don’t like him!’ said Peter nervously.

  ‘Neither do I,’ said Eye-eye.

  ‘Same here,’ said Morris.

  The man’s pace quickened.

  ‘Now just you stay where you are boys, I want a word with you.’

  The man’s voice sent a chill down each of their spines (It didn’t take long to go down Peter’s, he’d just shrunk another millimetre.)

  They decided not to wait any longer and turned and ran…

  Suddenly the sound of the alarm filled the corridors and it seemed like the whole hospital had woken up. Not only were their footsteps echoing off the walls but they could hear shouts and urgent calls all around and coming from every direction.

  ‘Come here Hollett!’ screamed the man.

  ‘I’ve seen him!’ called a voice that Morris couldn’t see.

  ‘Get him!’ called another.

  Ahead, a group of stampeding nurses came into view, pointing and waving wildly as they saw them.

  ‘This is not good!’ called Morris as they changed direction.

  From behind Morris saw Matron Wisely in hot pursuit with Nurse Lollipop, and Eye-eye shouted that others were now catching up with the Bony Man. As they passed a corridor Morris saw more white uniformed people running towards them.

  ‘They’re all after us!’ cried Morris as they made for stairs that headed down.

  They bounded down desperately jumping several steps at a time and burst through a set of double doors into a large room full of piles of white linen and towels and laundry baskets. It seemed the perfect place to hide.

  ‘Hide!’ called Morris, and they dived under a welcome pile just as they heard the doors swing and someone run into the room.

  ‘Drat! Where are you boy?’

  The doors swung again and a crowd filled the room with panting voices and clattering feet.

  ‘Curses!’ cried someone and they heard footsteps run away.

  Moments later heavy footsteps and gasps came in from another direction, followed by at least two more people.

  The footsteps clattered off and through another door, which slammed loudly behind them.

  ‘We should get out of here, and try and get out of the hospital altogether,’ said Morris.

  They climbed out warily.

  ‘Which door do we go through?’ said Eye-eye.

  Looking aro
und the room properly for the first time Morris could see their problem. There were three doors, and he couldn’t say which one they’d come in from.

  ‘Well,’ started Morris, ‘how about…that one!’

  They took one step then froze as the same door opened and in stepped the Bony Man looking slightly flustered.

  ‘Aha!’ his voice echoed off the walls, which confused Morris as it wasn’t an ‘echoey’ room.

  ‘Bad choice,’ said Morris as the man walked towards them slowly and with a threatening sneer on his face.

  They started to move to another exit behind them when in burst Doctor Grunk followed by Marvin. The Doctor’s hair looked exhausted and Marvin seemed close to needing the services of the other side of the hospital.

  ‘You!’ called the Doctor pointing at the boys, who froze.

  ‘Er, maybe that one instead.’ Morris pointed to the one unopened door.

  To their dismay, in came Matron Wisely, red-faced and dishevelled followed by Nurse Lollipop and several other hospital attendants, none of whom looked very happy and were now blocking their last escape route.

  Surrounded!

  The Bony Man, his arms outstretched and long fingers groping the air, was getting closer.

  Doctor Grunk and Marvin were closing with measured steps.

  Matron and the others were all shuffling toward them.

  ‘Don’t do anything stupid!’ said the Bony Man.

  ‘We’ve got you now,’ snarled the Doctor.

  ‘You’re o – !’ wheezed Matron but she simply couldn’t say anymore as she was too out of breath.

  ‘I’m going in here,’ said Peter diving to the depths of Morris’ pocket. He didn’t care about the fluff at the moment.

  Everyone was so close now and everywhere he looked Morris could see desperate, expectant faces.

  ‘I’m going to shut my eyes and try and think of something nice,’ said Morris to Eye-eye.

  ‘Me too, all of them,’ said Eye-eye, his voice shaking.

  Then, it all happened.

  ‘Get him!’ screamed the Doctor.

  ‘He’s MINE!’ echoed the Bony Man.

  ‘ ********, *****,’ wheezed Matron.

  The boys shut their eyes and hunched down to the floor and they felt a lot of movement and grunting and swishing of air. But nothing else.

  Morris opened an eye.

  Everyone in the room had run straight past them and were now cornering the Bony Man.

  Confused, he looked on as the man bared his teeth angrily like a wild animal.

  ‘Now!’ shouted the Doctor, and everyone leaped toward him.

  ‘Oh, knickers!’ gasped the man who clicked his fingers, and disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

  The hunters let out a gasp of dismay in mid-air, and landed in a painful tangled scrum of arms and legs.

  Morris, Eye-eye and Peter all looked on in amazement as everybody unravelled themselves from each other with the odd groan. Doctor Grunk righted himself, his glasses twisted at an unusual angle and his hair looking dazed and confused.

  ‘Errr, ah, yes, boys…I’m urm sorry about all this… rather unfortunate…Nurse Lollipop! These children need their beds.’

  ‘But Doctor, what – ?’ Morris had been desperate to ask what was going on.

  ‘All will be explained in good time my boy…in good time,’ and frustratingly Morris was ushered away from the Doctor who seemed to have regained his spritely composure and was waving at them with a knowing smile.

 

  8. Moth Travel

  ‘Easy Olive, steady girl!’ Eeeeeasy, waheeey!’

  Morris turned over again, fuzzy from broken sleep the sounds that he thought were a dream, he realised were real.

  He sat up quickly.

  ‘No, no, no, not like that! Down girl! Easy as you go now!’

  Morris looked around in the half-light of his room, ears pricked. The voice wasn’t loud and it almost gurgled as if it had phlegm in its throat. But he couldn’t see anything.

  ‘Steady!’ the voice cried.

  But where was it coming from?

  ‘Bad girl Olive!’ The voice was by his ear for a split second and Morris felt as if a spider had touched the back of his neck, which caused him to turn quickly. He caught sight of something flitting up to the ceiling.

  ‘Whhoooooaaaa, noooo, not like that!’

  He reached for the light and flicked the switch.

  ‘NOT THE LIGHT! Nooooo, Olive steady, steady, wahhhheeeeey!’

  Startled, Morris turned to see a moth attracted by the light making a haphazard route toward the lamp.

  ‘Why, it’s only a – ,’ but the more Morris looked, the more he realized that this wasn’t just a moth. There was something behind its neck and at the moment that something, or someone, was making a lot of noise and being given the ride of its life.

  For a moment Morris wondered if this was another person who was suffering the same problem as Pint Sized Peter.

  The more the moth revelled in the glow of the light and its flight pattern, not unlike that of a fair ground ride, all Morris could hear was its rider trying to reason with it, unsuccessfully.

  ‘Noooooo, oh oho, waheeeyy, yaaargh, sto–, sto–, pleeeeeeaaaase, the liiiiiiight!’

  Morris flicked off the light, well it was the only thing he could do.

  ‘Good girl, ok, ok. That’s better, stay.’

  The moth had settled on the lampshade and for the moment all seemed calm.

  There was a click of tiny fingers and the next moment someone was standing by the side of his bed and, the rather round, silhouette said quietly, ‘You can turn the light back on now.’

  Morris flicked the switch to see the hearty figure of a man who had quite simply the largest smile he had ever seen. He was curiously dressed in a multi coloured dressing gown of shapes and patterns that seemed to be constantly moving. The gown reached to the floor and was pulled tight and secured around his ample stomach by a golden braided rope. On his head was a nightcap of the same material, on the tip of which was a golden bauble.

  Pure white hair peeked out from under the cap and seemed to be trying to meet with his eyebrows, which were also white, and very bushy.

  The man gave a little, happy hum to himself and he reached into his gown and pulled out a long pipe. He smiled at Morris, hummed again and pulled out a pouch and began filling the pipe with pink woolly puffs.

  After a few seconds of filling the man replaced the pouch, surveyed the pipe with a keen eye and placed it in his mouth. He smiled; looked at Morris, then clicked his fingers.

  The pipe bulb glowed instantly and pink wisps floated into the air as he puffed. Morris sniffed.

  ‘Is that Candyfloss?’

  ‘Absolutely!’ said the man humming to himself once more.

  ‘My Dad uses tobacco…’

  ‘Thinley Snickle!’ said the man. ‘And tobacco is an unhealthy human habit!’

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘My name…it’s Thinley Snickle, and I’m very pleased to meet you!’ he seemed to be positively bursting with joy and shook Morris’ hand warmly before stepping back and taking a deep suck from his pipe.

  A moment’s silence followed as Morris waited expectantly. He’d seen some interesting sights since he had come to St Vernon’s but this man was different to all the rest. He simply oozed happiness and, despite his appearance, Morris felt the man was important, something special.

  ‘I’m a “Wizzer”…,’ said the man, with a twinkle in his eye.

  ‘A Wizzer, not a Wizard?’ asked Morris

  ‘Nope, a Wizzer, no such things as Wizards, and ‘Wizzer’ sounds much more dynamic!’ smiled the man.

  ‘Wow,’ said Morris. Nothing else came out because although he was simply overflowing with questions, he didn’t know what to say.

  ‘Actually,’ continued Thinley, ‘I’m “Head of Remedial Corrections”!’

  ‘Rem –’, started Morris.


  ‘Remedial Corrections! Correct!’ chuckled the man. ‘Now I shall tell you what I have told your predecessors which stretches back many years,’ said Thinley.

  He took a puff of his pipe.

  Morris looked on and sat expectantly with legs crossed on his bed.

  The Wizzer smiled. ‘Us Wizzers, our very reason for being is that we are here to help little peoples like you.’

  ‘Really?’ said Morris.

  ‘Yes! Life should be fun, especially when you are young and growing up…particularly before life gets all complicated and messy as you get older.’

  But there’s a battle you see and Wizzers like me offer an invisible hand to hold. We keep an eye on you; help you with your A to Z, make sure your porridge doesn’t go cold. No doubt you’ll have asked in the past, ‘How did I do that?’ or ‘How come I didn’t come last?’

  Morris looked at the Wizzer, reflecting.

  Thinley smiled knowingly then held up a finger.

  ‘But while we help to make things go just right, there are others who are bad, dark, and mean, there to give us a fright. Our friend in dark is everywhere; at a bus stop, in a restaurant, under a bench in a park. So a little magic is needed, to counter bad smells, give inspiration, and a nudge in the right direction.’

  ‘What, baddies?’ Morris couldn’t think of anything else to say but Thinley giggled.

  ‘Yes! And to reach the dizzy height of a Wizzer an apprenticeship must be served and spells, potions and giggle plans must be learnt and practiced, and of course things can go wrong,

  Some errant spells can break from the Wizzer Training shell, and hit innocent peoples like some you might have seen here!

  Singing hair is not uncommon, some end up with an extra nose, or two, purple toes, chuckling fingers, ears more fit for buffaloes. An extra arm can be handy, burping up sticks of rock.

  Armpit hair that smells of shandy…one small boy couldn’t talk apart from saying Tick-Tock…’

  Morris gasped.

  ‘So we got to a stage, oh many hundreds of years ago. When the boss of the peoples spoke to the top of the Wizzering steeple, and they agreed that things needed fixing.

  A special, powerful magic spell was created to cure all the people affected by the faulty spells. It’s very complex but when the time is right we brew it up and all hold our breath and wait for a mo or two,’til that someone comes to St Vernon’s with symptoms…like you!

  Eugene Yiddle was the first to reveal that he had the power to heal, and you are the most latest in line to help us at this time, so when your eyes start to feel fizzy, it’ll be time to get busy, because lots of beds need to be freed.’

  ‘So, when my eyes get fizzy –?’

  ‘Yes,’ beamed Thinley, ‘you will have the power to cure all those residents of The Strange and Unusual Diseases Ward.’

  ‘So that’s what my friends meant,’ said Morris.

  ‘Your friends?’

  ‘Yes,’ and Morris told Thinley about meeting Pint Sized Peter and Eye-eye and their visit to the old door.

  ‘My, my you are quite well informed my young friend,’ mused Thinley. He put a finger to his lips and thought for a moment. ‘I wouldn’t normally do this, but I think a visit is in order. Think of it as a bonus but I think you should see what the Old Door hides.’

  ‘Right, where’s that Moth of mine? Aha! Hold on Morris, and don’t worry you’ll get used to travelling by Moth in no time!’

  There was no time for any questions – one second Morris was sitting on his bed, the next there was a brief flash of light and he was sitting behind Thinley on Olive the Moth at a sharp angle as she was perched on the lampshade and enjoying the yellow warmth of the light.

  ‘Come on girl!’

  The moth was vibrating gently all over and Morris thought she must be asleep.

  ‘Olive?’

  With a full body shake that was not unlike the starting of an old car engine, Olive shook her wings and lifted off from the lamp shade and spiralling up toward the ceiling.

  Morris clung to Thinley’s gown desperately as he watched the room below stretch away from them as they fluttered upward.

  ‘Morris,’ called Thinley above the noise of Olive’s wings and the rush of air around them. ‘Hold on tight. Moth travel isn’t the most comfortable form of transport but Moths are the most loyal and faithful of friends and they never let us down.’

  ‘Good girl, Olive, now there’s the door, remember the door Olive, we don’t go through do we!’ said Thinley with a hint of urgency.

  Suddenly they dropped quickly to the floor.

  ‘OK Olive, eeeeeeasy, not quite so fast girl!’

  Morris clung on desperately as Olive dived, the carpet rushing toward them.

  ‘Sloooooooow doooooown!!!’

  To their relief, Olive landed with a controlled grace and proceeded to march under the door, her passengers rocking and rolling with her ungainly steps.

 

  9. Through the Door

  ‘I heard about your wind,’ called Thinley above the buzz of flapping wings as they flew down the corridor. ‘I bet you’re glad that’s over!’

  ‘Yes,’ replied Morris.

  ‘And you’re feeling ok at the moment?’ continued Thinley.

  Now that he’d mentioned it, Morris realised, despite the lurching feeling in his stomach which he put down to Olive’s roller coaster flying style, there was nothing that seemed unusual.

  There were no strange colours or noises where they shouldn’t be and, although being rather short, he realised he felt quite normal.

  ‘You’re brewing up nicely!’ laughed Thinley. ‘It won’t be long now…Steady Olive, not there thank you!’

  ‘We don’t want to get tangled, or blown to pieces in a fan do we?’ said Thinley, who received a deep thrum of acknowledgement from the Moth.

  ‘I’m, err, sorry, about your encounter earlier Morris,’ said Thinley awkwardly. ‘The man who followed you was an, um, old associate who, urm, turned out to be a bit of a rotten apple.’ Thinley laughed nervously. ‘Still, no harm done, eh?’

  ‘Well, no, who was he?’ said Morris.

  ‘Gaston Dreebil,’ said Thinley. ‘Doctor, Gaston Dreebil, actually. He used to work with Doctor Grunk. They were best friends for many years but Dreebil wanted more…money…power…and he was determined to make the magic work for him…He’s always wanted to sell the magic.’

  ‘He’s magic as well isn’t he?’ said Morris. ‘I mean he can disappear and stuff?’

  ‘Sort of, he wasn’t born a Wizzer like me and the others – he wanted to be a Wizzer of course. He spent so much time around here that he absorbed a certain amount of magic…and he’s really quite clever with how he uses it!’ explained Thinley.

  ‘Look! We’re getting near the Old Door! Good girl Olive!’

  He watched the Wizzer move his hand as if he were turning a page in a book and the partition folded back far enough for them to flutter through.

  ‘Why is this hidden away?’ asked Morris as the cold, clammy, musty air of this forgotten part of the hospital caught his throat and made him shiver.

  Thinley hummed and chuckled to himself. ‘Because this is exactly as we want it to appear Morris.’

  ‘If this area appears in this state then peoples are less likely to want to come here…and be nosey! This is the original building and has been here, oh, squillions of years. The rest of the hospital has been added to many times.’

  Ahead, Morris recognised the door that Pint Sized Peter and Eye-eye had brought him to.

  ‘And this,’ Thinley outstretched his arms lovingly, ‘is the reason why we don’t want peoples here! Doctor Grunk and his team take care of The Strange and Unusual Diseases Ward and the peoples who are admitted but it’s the spells from here that bring peoples here, and it’s also here that cures them!’

  ‘So the spells that go wrong come from here?’

  ‘Yes!’

  ‘And it
was a spell from here that hit me?’

  ‘Yes!’ gurgled Thinley.

  ‘But the spell that hit me will fix the others.’

  ‘Fantastic isn’t it!’

  ‘Well I guess you’re fixing what you put wrong,’ mused Morris.

  ‘Behind this door are students, Wizzer students, and we have to make allowances for the odd error, although the results can sometimes be…explosive,’ laughed Thinley.

  By now Olive was fluttering in front of the imposing door and seemed to be getting impatient as the odd vibration running through her body was getting stronger.

  ‘Ok, we don’t want Olive to perch on the wall with us still on board. Well-done girl, we’ll jump off now.’

  Morris looked down to the floor, which was about ten feet away, and hoped that the man didn’t actually mean ‘jump’.

  But, before he knew it there was a brief pop of light and he was full size again and they were standing in front of the door.

  ‘Thank you Olive!’ said Thinley as she fluttered off in the direction of a gloomy light bulb.

  The Wizzer reached for his pipe and started to stuff it with Candyfloss.

  ‘She’s a Mottled Umber,’ said Thinley, watching Olive’s flight. ‘Quite beautiful!’ he smiled.

  ‘So,’ Thinley puffed on his pipe, ‘you were, erm, here?’

  ‘Yes, with my friends,’ said Morris, ‘we couldn’t see how the door opened and no one came when I used the knocker.’

  The Wizzer chuckled behind a haze of pink smoke.

  ‘Of course, of course,’ gurgled Thinley.

  ‘So how do we get in?’ asked Morris.

  ‘Oh yes! The password, that’s easy, “knock-knock.” ’

  Immediately from around the door came a hissing sound which increased in volume then subsided, and as it did so, the thick and heavy oak door started to grow paler then gradually see through, until it had vanished.

  What was now just an elaborate archway led through to a tunnel, a long dark tunnel lit with huge candles mounted on the walls for as far as Morris could see.

  ‘How far does it go?’ said Morris as he stepped in and his voice echoed off the walls.

  ‘That’s the clever bit,’ giggled the Wizzer. ‘For those invited it will take them where they need to go. But for those who shouldn’t be here, the tunnel will last forever.’

  ‘Really? So a bad person will walk forever and never reach the end?’

  ‘Yes – what a clever tunnel!’

  ‘But how does it know…if you’re good or bad?’ said Morris.

  ‘Oh you don’t need to know that; it knows, you know, that’s all you need to know!’ laughed the Wizzer

  Thinley glided next to Morris on invisible feet, his gown radiating warm colours.

  ‘Tunnel,’ he ordered. ‘If you would.’

  There was an upward rush of air and the colours of Thinley’s gown mixed with the pink of the Candyfloss smoke and their surroundings into a blur of confusion. Morris felt his feet lose contact with the floor and his stomach lurched as if he’d just taken the upward slope of a fun fair ride.

  All of a sudden everything stopped and Morris was standing in a doorway looking into a huge circular, stone domed room around which there must have been ten other doors. The top of the room was open and Morris could see a dark blue ‘sky’ above, which looked like a gel type goo. But it was the contrast of the peace and quiet from where they had just come to the riot of noise and chaos that he saw before him that took a while to take in.

  There were dozens of people all dressed in gowns similar to Thinley but with varying colours and patterns; all were short and plump and younger than Thinley and they were all busy either mixing liquids in bottles, or any other sort of containers, chanting, singing and waving their arms around in strange patterns. Then there was the odd loud clap that coincided with an even more dramatic move and jets of bright colours were shooting off in all directions and hitting the walls and rocketing through the crowd causing those in the firing line to dive for cover.

  On two occasions Morris saw someone hit by a fizzing shot of red light so hard that it totally knocked them off their feet, the light exploding like paint does when it’s dropped to the floor, then showering all around with a sparkling rain that then disappeared like dust.

  To his amazement, despite making a resounding ‘OOOOOFFFF’ when they were struck, each time they had got up, dusted themselves down with the help of their friends, and were laughing hysterically.

  And, every now and then a beam would shoot directly upward and into the blue goo and everyone would cheer.

  The smell of the room filled Morris’ nose – it was heaven – sometimes strawberry, sometimes popcorn, liquorice, apple, peppermint, toffee, toast, cinnamon, cut grass, cherry, all coming in waves of heady pleasure and mixing with the crazy scene in front of him.

  In the centre stood an older man in a shining purple gown and furry hat. He had big red cheeks and a huge white beard that stretched to his knees, covering most of his front. He was shouting frantically and waving his arms as if trying to direct traffic coming to him at high speed from all directions. In between his own fits of laughter and cheers of joy he was trying to give orders.

  Morris really wasn’t sure whether he was in charge at all, or if he was just there to join in with the fun.

  ‘Now, now Gracewell, remember it’s two scoops of glurkle fuzz – three will create a Flumpit Warble and we don’t really want anoth– , oh go on then, just this once!’

  ‘Fergle, shake to the left, not the right, otherwise it will – oh dear – never mind! They turn green after two days then fall off!’

  ‘That’s it Knobbly, that’s it, now a wiggle, then a jump, shake it and add the chuckle juice…then, CLAP! Fantastic! Everyone that’s our first Urple Wind this week!!!’

  Everyone watched an arc of rainbow coloured light explode from nothing larger than a jam jar that the trainee was holding and stretch into the, now green, goo above, then disappear.

  This was met with cheers from all in the room and a crowd formed around him, all wanting to shake his hand or slap his back.

  Thinley leaned down to Morris and said, ‘That spell will probably hit someone in the North of Scotland soon!’

  ‘Now, this, as you might have guessed, is where our trainee Wizzers, train,’ said Thinley.

  ‘Is it always like this?’ asked Morris.

  ‘Yes,’ said Thinley, ‘Wizzers are very enthusiastic about everything they do and life is always happy and fun. You will always see a Wizzer with a smile!’

  ‘I’ve never heard of, or seen a Wizzer,’ said Morris as he watched a small trainee become engulfed in purple steam only for him to be totally purple when the steam cleared. This was met with riotous laughter and hoots of joy.

  ‘Ah, you might think you haven’t, but that’s because you’re not supposed to see us,’ said Thinley.

  Morris frowned.

  ‘You see, when a Wizzer reaches a certain level their job is to mingle in your world and keep an eye on you, casting the odd spell here and there when you might need a little help,’ the Wizzer smiled.

  ‘And to sort out the bad people,’ added Morris.

  ‘Quite,’ said Thinley.

  ‘So you’re invisible?’

  ‘Yes and no,’ said Thinley. ‘Duck!’

  Fortunately Morris had also seen a trainee fighting to control a small phial of bright yellow mixture and how it had exploded like a firework, hurling several balls of pulsating light in all directions and one directly at them. Morris and Thinley dropped to the floor just in time and turned to see a ball hit the wall behind with a thudding ‘GLOOP’ then trickle to the floor like slime.

  ‘Hmmm,’ said Thinley as they got up and he straightened his hat, ‘that must have been a variation of Spark Lippit. Although I think it wasn’t quite correct,’ he laughed.

  ‘Where was I? Oh yes. Wizzers walk amongst you all the time, particularly the small peoples
like you because you need looking after. You can’t see us because you see what you expect to see. And we add a little spell that means we’re always just out of line of your vision.’

  ‘Ahhh, I think I get it,’ said Morris, who kind of understood.

  ‘Sometimes you’ll have been looking in a mirror and thought you’ve seen someone, but looked behind and there’s no one there, or you might have taken a step back and thought you were about to stand on someone’s toes and said ‘Sorry’ to no one…well that’s us.’

  ‘So we’re always around,’ tittered Thinley.

  ‘I think I like that,’ said Morris.

 

  10. Wizzers

  A hush came over the room and every student started to tidy up. There was still the odd titter and chortle here and there but it was all restrained and it was the first time Morris had seen any sort of order since they had arrived.

  They looked like a huge scrum of busy, brightly coloured worker ants as they filled their bags with huge books, bottles, phials, cauldrons, plants and various other clutter. It was when Morris noticed that the furniture in the room – desks and stools – was also being thrown into their shoulder bags – bags that didn’t seem to show any change in size, or to strain under any weight, that he realised this would be a great replacement for his old school satchel.

  ‘Can I have a bag like that?’ asked Morris. ‘I could take my Gran to school in it and she could help me with History.’

  Thinley held back a chuckle. ‘The Gobble Sack, one of the first spells we learn…’

  In no time at all, all of the trainees were standing in a circle and one by one each waved a goodbye to the man in the middle, and then disappeared on the spot with a ‘pop’.

  Soon, the only person left was the bubbly figure in purple who stretched his arms out in welcome and hurriedly made his way over to them.

  ‘My dear Thinley!’ cried the man as they embraced. ‘Who do we have here?’ he said, turning to Morris.

  ‘This is Morris, our latest Yiddle’s,’ Thinley said with a distinct proudness. ‘Morris, this is Alwyn Grubnut, Master Tutor. Every Wizzer there has ever been has been taught by Alwyn!’

  ‘Yes,’ Alwyn chuckled, ‘I’ve been around for a very long time.’

  ‘We’re at pre fizzy eyes,’ said Thinley.

  ‘So your work is almost due and very grateful we will be,’ smiled Alwyn. ‘Perhaps we could give our friend a quick tour of The Acorn?’

  ‘Indeed, indeed,’ said Thinley.

  ‘The Acorn?’ enquired Morris.

  ‘Yes, this,’ Thinley waved his hand around the room, ‘is The Acorn. Just as an acorn grows into the greatest and strongest of all trees, so our world is called by the same name. From the centre, here, our world branches out through these doors.’

  ‘What’s that?’ said Morris pointing to the now orange goo at the top of the room.

  ‘Oh that,’ said Alwyn, ‘is how we send potions into your world. It converts our potions into a friendlier type when it leaves here.’

  ‘Friendlier?’

  ‘Yes, slightly diluted,’

  ‘Oh, like orange squash?’

  ‘Yes, sort of,’ smiled Alwyn. ‘Now perhaps you’d like to see the Bloodhound Room?’

  ‘Yes please,’ said Morris.

  They all went through the closest door to them and were in a tunnel similar to the one behind the Old Door, only this time although the tunnel stretched for as far as he could see there were doors that led the whole length on the top, bottom and sides of the passageway. Every door seemed to be a different shape, size or colour with a variety of interesting doorknockers and handles.

  ‘Now we want that door,’ said Thinley pointing to a green door a short distance ahead, on what appeared to be the floor.

  Morris followed Thinley and was waiting for the moment when they would have to crawl, but as they approached he watched the floor slope slightly and the door lift up in front of them.

  ‘Now this,’ smiled Thinley as he pointed to a hand drawn face of a droopy faced dog on the door, ‘is the Bloodhound Room.’

  The room was quite boring; bare floorboards, white walls and a large floor to ceiling pair of French doors that led to a field and countryside. Morris could even see cows in the distance.

  The only furniture in the room was a large table and chair. On the table was a map that covered the surface and was weighed down on each corner by rather grand candlesticks holding very large white candles.

  The candles look very tired and huge globs of dry melted wax that looked like snails stretched down in suspended drips onto the holder.

  ‘Great isn’t it!’ said Alwyn with a giggle.

  ‘Well, it’s just a room, with a map.’ said Morris.

  The two Wizzers laughed.

  ‘This room,’ said Thinley, ‘is where we see where the odd, urm, errant spell has landed in the country, and then on who it has landed. We can then track those peoples as they make their way to St Vernon’s.’

  Alwyn smiled then clapped his hands.

  All four candles lit themselves and the room took on a warm glow.

  The map came alive with coloured streaks of light that stretched from one place and landed at various points around the country.

  ‘This,’ pointed Thinley to the source of the lights, ‘is St Vernon’s, and these,’ he pointed to coloured dots that were moving slowly toward the source, ‘are the people who were struck by the spells and are being sent here!’

  ‘That’s brilliant!’ exclaimed Morris who was quite impressed.

  ‘These are the actual spells,’ added Alwyn, pointing to the streaks of colours, ‘and we can tell the most recent ones by how strong the colour is.’

  ‘So this rainbow coloured one,’ pointed Morris, ‘is the one that we saw?’

  ‘That is indeed the Urple Wind!’ cried Alwyn.’ And because the spell was done correctly we know that person will only have a mild dose of multi coloured spots, so we’ll send the local Wizzer around with the cure in no time.’

  ‘So all the ones making their way here are the ones that went wrong?’ said Morris.

  ‘Yeeeees,’ said Alwyn, ‘we don’t always know what we’ll get…still that’s what makes life so much fun.’

  ‘Would you like to have a look at The Eye Spy Room?’ suggested Thinley.

 

  11. The Eye Spy Room

  The door opened silently and they entered a dark, inky blue room. All that Morris could see was a sofa, which was facing the opposite wall to the door. The sofa reminded him of home as it was similar in size to the one in his lounge that Gran sat on, normally with their cat, Rhino, curled up on her legs.

  This room was very quiet and as the three of them sat down and the door shut behind them they were thrown into almost absolute darkness, similar to the moment when the lights are dimmed and the film is about to start at the cinema.

  Despite his excitement Morris’ stomach rumbled and he remembered that it must be way past breakfast time and mid-morning as he had been woken up very early by Thinley.

  ‘Oh my dear boy, I’m so sorry,’ said Thinley. It wasn’t the first time that Morris felt as if his mind had been read.

  ‘Here, this should fill a hole,’ and from nowhere Thinley produced a tray on which sat a roll and a steaming cup of tea.

  Morris took the tray and bit into the roll desperately. ‘Egg and Bacon with brown sauce, my favourite, thanks!’ said Morris.

  ‘Yes, I know,’ said Thinley with a knowing smile. ‘And the tea has just under two sugars as well.’

  ‘Now, this is perhaps one of the most important rooms,’ started Alwyn as Morris ate, and Thinley started to suck on his pipe again.

  ‘From here, we can see – well, I’ll just let it show itself. Eye Spy with my Wizzer eye something beginning with ‘F’…’

  As the Wizzer let the sentence trail the wall in front of them lit up with a soft green glow and within the glow images start
ed to form.

  In the centre, a large picture was surrounded by many other smaller images each showing what looked like everyday life through a lens. Some images were high up, on a ceiling, or very low on the floor, or upside down under a table. Some moved with footsteps as if attached to a foot, or trouser leg, while others moved at shoulder level or even on people’s heads.

  Every image was around children, in school, playing with friends, crossing the road, in the shops, following them everywhere.

  In the large picture in the centre of the wall they were looking over the shoulder of a small boy with long dark hair that curled at the ends. He was looking at a list of questions on a sheet of paper on a desk and chewing the end of his pen nervously. In the room were one or two other children hunched over their papers and wearing the same red polo shirt but there were many empty seats and the teacher at the head of the room was looking at his watch.

  ‘A test on fractions,’ groaned Morris. ‘I’m useless at them.’

  They watched as the other two children handed in their papers and one looked anxiously over his shoulder at the boy as he left the room.

  The boy they were watching wrote an answer, then crossed it out, then did the same again. He rubbed his eyes in frustration and looked over to the windows of the classroom and saw friends looking worryingly in.

  Then, they were looking at his left ear and the boy sat up in his seat and looked over his shoulder quickly. He wrote down an answer and hurriedly handed the paper to the teacher.

  The teacher looked over the paper and ticked the answers with a red pen. He looked up and smiled at the boy and the image followed him out of the classroom as he ran to his friends in the playground and was lost in a crowd.

  ‘We’re just there to give a bit of a help where it’s needed,’ smiled Thinley.

  The scene then changed to a very different situation and they seemed to be looking through the eyes of a very small person between a pair of running feet. Every now and then the image would lift up quickly, then down, then sharply to the left, or right.

  ‘A very skilful trick, this one,’ mused Alwyn. ‘Untied laces can be very dangerous sometimes and flying between fast moving feet while trying to control a loose lace to make sure there’s not an accident requires the greatest agility.’

  ‘So what does ‘F’ stand for?’ said Morris. ‘Fly?’

  ‘Oh no, flies are very unpredictable and untrustworthy. No ‘F’ means ‘Flurple’, or ‘Friend’, as you would know it. These are our friend’s eyes that we see through, and this is the work that’s going on as we speak,’ said Alwyn proudly.

  ‘So who are the…Flurples…then?’

  ‘Wizzers!’ said Alwyn. ‘We use spells to transform into a variety of sizes and abilities. Some are normal size but you can’t quite see us, while others are so small you wouldn’t believe it!’

  ‘I’ve got a small friend,’ said Morris. ‘Can we see the hospital and my friends, Pint Sized Peter and Eye-eye?’

  ‘Of course, of course,’ smiled Alwyn. ‘Eye Spy with my little eye, something beginning with ‘W’.’

  The wall faded and the images changed to the familiar corridors and wards of the hospital. Morris spotted Matron Wisely chatting with a nurse he hadn’t seen before but who was struggling to hear what she was saying.

  ‘These images aren’t sent by Wizzers, but by the likes of Olive – moths, spiders and other bugs,’ said Thinley.

  Doctor Grunk was looking at the charts on the end of a bed of a boy who had two enormous hairy hands.

  There was Nurse Lollipop who must have been on a break as she was sitting eating a chocolate bar and flicking through the pages of a magazine.

  On the odd occasion there was a view of the underside of a chair, or the back of a PC monitor, or hanging upside down from a cup, but Morris was amazed by how much of the hospital could be seen on the wall.

  He saw a lady in a hospital gown walking down a passageway who had long blonde hair, and two beautiful rabbit ears.

  There was a man sitting in the TV lounge with legs so long that they were draped over five rows of chairs, and Morris smiled as he saw Marvin walking with a tray of food to a door, no doubt hoping that he had got the order right this time.

  Then, in one image, just as he recognised a corridor as being similar to the one where Peter’s room was, from a view high up on a ceiling what he saw made his stomach flip with shock.

  ‘Look!’ he shouted.

  They saw an open door and a figure was walking backwards with something wrapped in a white hospital bed cover slung over his shoulder. The ‘something’ was wriggling and was the size of a boy.

  Morris recognised the man’s tweed suit straight away. The man who had chased him turned and looked with his piercing eyes directly at them. It was as if he knew they were watching him.

  He smiled cruelly and with his free hand pulled a small jar from his jacket pocket. He lifted it up to his eye level and laughed before putting it back in his pocket, clicking his fingers then disappearing.

  ‘It’s Dreebil,’ shouted Morris, ‘and he’s got Pint Sized Peter and Eye-eye!’

 

  12. Panic!

  ‘Sound the alarm!’ cried Thinley and Alwyn together.

  Morris saw a huge red lever on the wall to the right. There was a sign above the handle, which said ‘Alarm’, so he pulled it.

  The whole room filled with a whine and Thinley and Alwyn froze then looked at Morris in surprise.

  ‘Well done that boy,’ said Thinley.

  It seemed that every spider, moth and bug – those that were asleep or just daydreaming had come to life and the wall was filled with more images of the hospital. It should have been the most effective CCTV ever but it was a little unfortunate when quite a few of the pictures were highly blurred (Morris assumed these were spiders caught on the shoulders, arms, hems of skirts, legs, or shoes, of someone running), or total pitch darkness (possibly bugs who were scared of the light).

  But there were very good images too and Morris watched people in white coats running everywhere and he spotted Matron Wisely and Nurse Lollipop with Doctor Grunk, his hair rigid with shock, running through the corridors together, running in no particular direction, but with purpose and very fast indeed.

  ‘There he is!’ shouted Alwyn, pointing to an image of a corridor that had been empty one moment but where now stood Dreebil, his back to them. He looked furtively around a corner, his package over his shoulder wriggling desperately, and then crept around carefully on his tiptoes, and out of view.

  ‘Dreebil isn’t powerful enough to disappear straight away – he has to do it in hops,’ said Thinley quickly, ‘ we have to get close to him at the right time to trace where he’s hiding but he normally makes good use of the Dimp Splurtle…or Smoke Screen…as you’d know it – just before we lose him altogether!’

  Again they spotted the wiry figure of the Bony Man, but this time it was only a glimpse before he frustratingly slipped out of sight again.

  They watched desperately all of the screens together, hoping to see him again but all they could see were the frantic figures in white running aimlessly through the corridors to the background screaming of the alarm.

  ‘There, he’s by Marvin’s Office!’ said Thinley.

  Alwyn reached to the left wall and pulled a handle that Morris could not see in the shadows, and opened a door – a door that led directly into the bright white light of the hospital.

  Thinley stepped through, beckoning Morris to follow.

  ‘But how did that –?’

  ‘There’s no time for questions young Morris, we’re trying to save your friends,’ gasped Alwyn as he was ushered through the doorway, which, after they had all dashed through, faded then disappeared and was just a plain wall again.

  The noise of thumping feet, booming shouts, the wailing alarm, the squeaking of shoes on the floor filled Morris’ head with a familiar confusion but then, quite without warning, he t
hudded into the brightly coloured back of Thinley who had stopped suddenly.

  ‘Why did you stop?’ gasped Morris, seeing stars.

  But there was no need for Thinley or Alwyn to answer, for in front of them stood the Evil Gaston Dreebil.

  At his feet lay the writhing figure wrapped in a white blanket.

  He stood still, arms folded with contempt and a smug look on his face.

  ‘My, my,’ his silken voice cut through the echoes of madness around them, ‘you are quite the sociable type aren’t you Hollett?’

  Despite his calm appearance Morris noticed that Dreebil’s eyes were wary this time – they flitted between all three of them and didn’t rest. Perhaps it was because the Wizzers offered him a greater threat compared to the likes of the hospital staff.

  ‘Gaston,’ said Thinley, ‘please be reasonable!’

  ‘Reasonable?’ snarled Dreebil. ‘Why should I be reasonable when untold riches stand in front of me,’ he pointed at Morris with a long bony finger.

  ‘But the spell is to help all those poor souls who need to recover!’ said Thinley. ‘You know this Gaston – there is no value other than to those who are suffering.’

  ‘Ah but it is you,’ that bony finger pointed this time to Alwyn, then Thinley, ‘who cause the suffering!’

  ‘Well, perhaps “suffering” is the wrong word,’ mumbled Alwyn, tapping his fingers on his chest, ‘perhaps “inconvenience” is more appropriate.’

  ‘Very inconvenient!’ a muffled shout came from the package on the floor.

  ‘We all know that students make errors Gaston, and we have always fixed our problems,’ said Thinley, smiling.

  ‘Not this time,’ growled Dreebil, clenching his fist threateningly, ‘I want the power of the magic – others want the power of magic – and I shall have real power when I siphon off the Yiddle’s spell and sell it to those who will pay me handsomely!’

  Dreebil had taken on a crazed expression, which scared Morris a bit.

  The two Wizzers slid forward slowly.

  ‘No!’ shouted Dreebil, pulling out the jar from his pocket. ‘You stay where you are, or I will give little Peter here, a shake!’

  Inside, Peter slid around helplessly, a mere speck and practically invisible to Morris and the Wizzers.

  ‘And if I shake,’ Dreebil smiled that nasty smile again, ‘no magic can then bring back the…dead!’

  He laughed madly and Morris looked at the two Wizzers who, despite all of their magic, appeared weak and helpless. For the first time since Morris had known them all of the fun and happiness had drained from both of them and the colour in their gowns looked dull and dirty.

  ‘If you value your friends Hollett,’ Dreebil’s voice lowered with menace, ‘then you will give me what I want!’

  He pointed to the floor and Morris watched markings form on the surface.

  Then, Morris’ heart sank as a puff of grey smoke hid the man from their view and when cleared all that could be seen was the empty corridor.

  Crestfallen, Morris walked to the spot where Dreebil had been standing and read the floor.

  ‘You are your friend’s only hope,’ was etched at his feet.

  ‘Well that wasn’t very nice,’ croaked Thinley.

  Morris stood in silence for a moment as he looked at the message. He didn’t even hear the hustle and bustle of running feet as they pounded toward him then slowed and stopped.

  He looked up to see Doctor Grunk – his hair deflated and hanging limply – and Matron Wisely the colour of a tomato and wheezing heavily, her hair all out of place and hanging over her face.

  More hospital staff joined them, the chase over, and Morris realised that the two Wizzers had disappeared.

  Then something fluttered into his line of vision and he watched Olive make an erratic aerial path out of sight.