The Decameron (Day 6 to Day 10)

  Fresco da Celatico, _counselled and advised his Neece_ Cesca: _That ifsuch as deserved to be looked on, were offensive to her eyes, as shehad often told him; she should forbeare to looke on any._

  The Eighth Novell.

  _In just scorne of such unsightly and ill-pleasing surly Sluts, whoimagine none to be faire or well-favoured, but themselves._

  All the while as _Philostratus_ was re-counting his Novell; it seemed,that the Ladies (who heard it) found themselves much mooved thereat, asby the wanton blood monting up into their cheekes, it plainly appeared.But in the end, looking on each other with strange behaviour, theycould not forbeare smiling: which the Queene interrupting by a commandof attention, turning to Madame _?millia_, willed her to follow next.When she, puffing and blowing, as if she had bene newly awaked fromsleepe, began in this manner.

  Faire Beauties; My thoughts having wandred a great distance hence, andfurther then I can easily collect them together againe; in obedienceyet to our Queene, I shall report a much shorter Novell, then otherwise(perhappes) I should have done, if my minde had beene a little neererhome. I shall tell you the grosse fault of a foolish Damosell, wellcorrected by a witty reprehension of her Uncle; if shee had bin enduedbut with so much sence, as to have understood it.

  An honest man, named _Fresco da Celatico_, had a good fulsom wench tohis Neece, who for her folly and squemishnes, was generally called_Cesca_, or nice _Francesca_. And althogh she had stature sufficient,yet none of the handsomest, & a good hard favourd countenance, nothingnere such Angelical beauties as we have seen: yet she was endued withsuch height of minde, and so proud an opinion of her selfe, that itappeared as a custome bred in hir, or rather a gift bestowed on hirby nature (though none of the best) to blame and despise both men andwomen, yea whosoever she lookt on; without any consideration of herself, she being as unsightly, ill shaped, and ugly faced, as a worsewas very hardly to be found.

  Nothing could be done at any time, to yeilde her liking or content:moreover, she was so waspish, nice, & squemish, that when she cam intothe royall Court of _France_, it was hatefull & contemptible to hir.Whensoever she went through the streets, every thing stunke and wasnoisome to her; so that she never did any thing but stop her nose; asif all men or women she met withall; and whatsoever else she lookt on,were stinking and offensive. But let us leave all further relationof her ill conditions, being every way (indeed) so bad, and hardlybecomming any sensible body, that we cannot condemne them so much as weshould.

  It chanced upon a day, that shee comming home to the house where herUncle dwelt, declared her wonted scurvy and scornfull behaviour;swelling, puffing, and pouting extreamly, in which humour she sat downeby her Uncle, who desiring to know what had displeased her, said. Whyhow now _Francesca_? what may the meaning of this bee? This being asolemne festivall day, what is the reason of your so soone returninghome? She coily biting the lip, and brideling her head, as if she hadbene some mans best Gelding, sprucely thus replyed.

  Indeede you say true Uncle, I am come home verie earely, because, sincethe day of my birth, I never saw a City so pestered with unhandsomepeople, both men and women, and worse this high Holyday then ever Idid observe before. I walked thorow some store of streetes, and Icould not see one proper man: and as for the women, they are the mostmisshapen and ugly creatures, that, if God had made me such an one,I should be sorry that ever I was borne. And being no longer able toendure such unpleasing sights; you will not thinke (Uncle) in what ananger I am come home. _Fresco_, to whome these stinking qualities ofhis Neece seemed so unsufferable, that hee could not (with patience)endure them any longer, thus short and quickely answered. _Francesca_,if all people of our Citie (both men and women) be so odious in thyeyes, and offensive to thy nose, as thou hast often reported to me: beeadvised then by my counsell. Stay still at home, and look upon none butthy selfe onely, and then thou shalt be sure that they cannot displeasethee. But she, being as empty of wit as a pith-lesse Cane, and yetthought her judgement to exceed _Salomons_, could not understand thelest part of hir Uncles meaning, but stood as senselesse as a sheepe.Onely she replyed, that she would resort to some other parts of thecountry, which if shee found as weakly furnished of handsome people, asheere shee did, shee would conceive better of her selfe, then ever shehad done before.