The Decameron (Day 6 to Day 10)

  _The Provost belonging to the Cathedrall Church of_ Fiesola, _fell inlove with a Gentlewoman, being a widdow, and named_ Piccarda, _whohated him as much as he loved her. He imagining, that he lay with her:by the Gentlewomans Bretheren, and the Byshop under whom he served, wastaken in bed with her Mayde, an ugly, foule, deformed Slut._

  The Fourth Novell.

  _Wherein is declared, how love oftentimes is so powerfull in aged men,and driveth them to such doating, that it redoundeth to their greatdisgrace and punishment._

  Ladie _Eliza_ having concluded her Novell, not without infinitecommendations of the whole company: the Queen turning her lookes toMadame _?millia_, gave her such an expresse signe, as she must needsfollow next after Madame _Eliza_, whereupon she began in this manner.

  Vertuous Ladies, I very well remember (by divers Novels formerlyrelated) that sufficient hath beene sayde, concerning Priests andReligious persons, and all other carrying shaven Crownes, in theirluxurious appetites and desires. But because no one can at any time sayso much, as thereto no more may be added: beside them alreadie spokenof, I will tel you another concerning the Provost of a Cathedrall Church,who would needes (in despight of all the world) love a Gentlewomanwhether she would or no: and therefore, in due chastisement bothunto his age and folly, she gave him such entertainment as he justlydeserved.

  It is not unknowne unto you all, that the Cittie of _Fiesola_, themountaine whereof we may very easily hither discerne, hath bene (intimes past) a very great and most ancient City: although at this day itis well-neere all ruined: yet neverthelesse, it alwaies was, and yetis a Byshops See, albeit not of the wealthiest. In the same Citie, andno long while since, neere unto the Cathedrall Church, there dwelt aGentlewoman, being a Widdow, and commonlie there stiled by the name ofMadame _Piccarda_, whose house and inheritance was but small, wherewithyet she lived very contentedly (having no wandering eye, or wantondesires) and no company but her two Brethren, Gentlemen of especiallhonest and gracious disposition.

  This Gentlewoman, being yet in the flourishing condition of her time,did ordinarily resort to the Cathedrall Church, in holie zeale, andreligious devotion; where the Provost of the place, became so enamoredof her, as nothing (but the sight of her) yeelded him any contentment.Which fond affection of his, was forwarded with such an audacious andbold carriage, as hee dared to acquaint her with his love, requiringher enterchange of affection, and the like opinion of him, as he had ofher. True it is, that he was very farre entred into yeares, but yongand lustie in his own proud conceite, presuming strangely beyond hiscapacity, and thinking as well of his abilitie, as the youthfullestgallant in the World could doe. Whereas (in verie deede) his person wasutterly displeasing, his behaviour immodest and scandalous, and hisusuall Language, favouring of such sensualitie, as, very fewe or nonecared for his company. And if any Woman seemed respective of him, itwas in regard of his outside and profession, and more for feare, thenthe least affection, and alwayes as welcome to them, as the head-ake.

  His fond and foolish carriage still continuing to this Gentlewoman;she being wise and vertuously advised, spake thus unto him. Holy Sir,if you love me according as you protest, & manifest by your outwardbehaviour: I am the more to thanke you for it, being bound in dutieto love you likewise. But if your Love have any harshe or unsavourietaste, which mine is no way able to endure, neyther dare entertaine inanie kinde whatsoever: you must and shall hold mee excused, because Iam made of no such temper. You are my ghostly and spirituall Father, anHoly Priest. Moreover, yeares have made you honorably aged; all whichseverall weighty considerations, ought to confirme you in continency& chastity. Remember withall (good sir) that I am but a child to youin years, & were I bent to any wanton appetites, you shold justlycorrect me by fatherly counsell, such as most beautifieth your sacredprofession. Beside, I am a Widdow, and you are not ignorant, howrequisite a thing honestie is in widdowes. Wherefore, pardon mee (HolyFather:) for, in such manner as you make the motion: I desire you notto love mee, because I neither can or will at any time so affect you.

  The Provoste gaining no other grace at this time, would not so giveover for this first repulse, but pursuing her still with unbeseemingimportunity; many private meanes he used to her by Letters, tokens,and insinuating ambassages; yea, whensoever shee came to the Church,he never ceased his wearisome solicitings. Whereat she growing greatlyoffended, and perceyving no likelyhood of his desisting; became sotyred with his tedious suite, that she considered with her selfe,how she might dispatch him as he deserved, because she saw no otherremedy. Yet shee would not attempte anie thing in this case, withoutacquainting her Bretheren first therewith. And having tolde them, howmuch shee was importuned by the Provost, and also what course she meantto take (wherein they both counselled and encouraged her:) within a fewdaies after, shee went to Church as she was wont to do; where so sooneas the Provost espyed her: forthwith he came to her, and according tohis continued course, he fell into his amorous courting. She lookingupon him with a smiling countenance, and walking aside with him outof any hearing: after he had spent many impertinent speeches, shee(venting foorth manie a vehement sighe) at length returned him thisanswer.

  Reverend Father, I have often heard it saide: That there is not anyFort or Castle, how strongly munited soever it bee; but by continuallassayling, at length (of necessity) it must and will be surprized.Which comparison, I may full well allude to my selfe. For, you havingso long time solicited me, one while with affable language, then againewith tokens and entisements, of such prevailing power: as have brokenthe verie barricado of my former deliberation, and yeelded mee uppe asyour prisoner, to be commanded at your pleasure, for now I am onelydevoted yours.

  Well may you (Gentle Ladies) imagine, that this answere was not alittle welcome to the Provost; who, shrugging with conceyte of joy,presently thus replyed. I thanke you Madame _Piccarda_, and to tellyou true, I held it almost as a miracle, that you could stand uponsuch long resistance, considering, it never so fortuned to mee withanie other. And I have many times saide to my selfe, that if womenwere made of silver, they hardly could be worth a pennie, becausethere can scarsely one be found of so good allay, as to endure thetest and essay. But let us breake off this frivolous conference, andresolve upon a conclusion; How, when and where we may safely meetetogether. Worthy Sir, answered _Piccarda_, your selfe may appoint thetime whensoever you please, because I have no Husband, to whom I shouldrender any account of my absence, or presence: but I am not provided ofany place.

  A pretty while the Provoste stood musing, and at last saide. A placeMadame? where can be more privacie, then in your owne house? AlasSir (quoth she) you know that I have two Gentlemen my brethren whocontinually are with me, & other of their friends beside: My house alsois not great, wherefore it is impossible to be there, except you couldbe like a dumbe man, without speaking one word, or making the veryleast noyse; beside, to remaine in darkenesse, as if you were blinde,and who can be able to endure all these? And yet (without these) thereis no adventuring, albeit they never come into my Chamber: but theirlodging is so close to mine, as there cannot any word be spoken, be itnever so low or in whispering manner, but they heare it very easily.Madame said the Provoste, for one or two nights, I can make hard shift.Why Sir (quoth she) the matter onely remaineth in you, for if you besilent and suffering, as already you have heard, there is no feare atall of safty. Let me alone Madame, replyed the Provoste, I will beegoverned by your directions: but, in any case, let us begin this night.With all my heart, saide shee. So appointing him how and when heeshould come; hee parted from her, and shee returned home to her house.

  Heere I am to tell you, that this Gentlewoman had a servant, in thenature of an old maide, not indued with any well featured face, butinstead thereof, she had the ugliest and most counterfeit countenance,as hardly could be seene a worse. She had a wrie mouth, huge greatlippes, foule teeth, great and blacke, a monstrous stinking breath, hereyes bleared, and alwayes running, the complexion of her face betweenegreene and yellow, as if shee had not spent th
e Summer season in theCitie, but in the parching Countrey under a hedge; and beside allthese excellent parts, shee was crooke backt, poult footed, and wentlike a lame Mare in Fetters. Her name was _Ciuta_, but in regard ofher flat nose, lying as low as a Beagles, shee was called _Ciutazza_.Now, notwithstanding all this deformity in her, yet she had a singuleropinion of her selfe, as commonly all such foule Sluts have: in regardwhereof, Madame _Piccarda_ calling her aside, Thus began.

  _Ciutazza_, if thou wilt doe for me one nights service, I shall bestowon thee a faire new Smocke. When _Ciutazza_ heard her speake of anew Smocke, instantly she answered. Madame, if you please to bestowa new Smocke on me, were it to runne thorow the fire for you, or anybusinesse of farre greater danger, you onely have the power to commandme, and I will doe it. I will not (said _Piccarda_) urge thee to anydangerous action, but onely to lodge in my bed this night with a man,and give him courteous entertainement, who shall reward thee liberallyfor it. But have an especiall care that thou speake not one word, forfeare thou shouldst be heard by my Brethren, who (as thou knowest)lodge so neere by: doe this, and then demaund thy Smocke of me. Madame(quoth _Ciutazza_) if it were to lye with sixe men, rather then one; ifyou say the word, it shall be done.

  When night was come, the Provoste also came according to appointment,even when the two brethren were in their lodging, where they easilyheard his entrance, as _Piccarda_ (being present with them) hadinformed them. In went the Provoste without any candle, or making theleast noise to be heard, & being in _Piccardaes_ Chamber, went tobed: _Ciutazza_ tarrying not long from him, but (as her Mistresse hadinstructed her) she went to bed likewise, not speaking any word atall, and the Provoste, imagining to have her there, whom he so highlyaffected, fell to imbracing and kissing _Ciutazza_, who was as forwardin the same manner to him, and there for a while I intend to leave them.

  When _Piccarda_ had performed this hot piece of businesse, she referredthe effecting of the remainder to her Brethren, in such sort as it wascompacted betweene them. Faire and softly went the two brethren forthof their Chamber, and going to the Market place, Fortune was morefavourable to them then they could wish, in accomplishing the issueof their intent. For the heat being somwhat tedious, the Lord Bishopwas walking abroad very late, with purpose to visit the Brethren atthe Widdowes house, because he tooke great delight in their company,as being good Schollers, and endued with other singular parts beside.Meeting with them in the open Market place, he acquainted them with hisdetermination; whereof they were not a little joyfull, it jumping sojustly with their intent.

  Being come to the Widdowes house, they passed through a small netherCourt, where lights stood ready to welcome him thither; and entringinto a goodly Hall, there was store of good wine and banquetting, whichthe Bishop accepted in very thankefull manner: and courteous complementbeing overpassed, one of the Brethren, thus spake. My good Lord, seeingit hath pleased you to honour our poore Widdowed Sisters house withyour presence, for which wee shall thanke you while we live: We wouldintreate one favour more of you, onely but to see a sight which we willshew you. The Lord Bishop was well contented with the motion: so theBrethren conducting him by the hand, brought him into their SistersChamber, where the the Provoste was in bed with _Ciutazza_, bothsoundly sleeping, but enfolded in his armes, as wearied (belike) withtheir former wantonning, and whereof his age had but little need.

  The Courtaines being close drawne about the bed, although the seasonwas exceeding hot, they having lighted Torches in their hands; drewopen the Curtaines, and shewed the Bishop his Provoste, close snuggingbetweene the armes of _Ciutazza_. Upon a sudden the Provoste awaked,and seeing so great a light, as also so many people about him: shameand feare so daunted him, that hee shrunke downe into the bed, and hidhis head. But the Bishop being displeased at a sight so unseemely, madehim to discover his head againe, to see whom he was in bed withall. Nowthe poore Provoste perceiving the Gentlewomans deceite, and the properhansome person so sweetly embracing him: it made him so confounded withshame, as he had not the power to utter one word: but having put on hiscloathes by the Bishops command, hee sent him (under sufficient guard)to his Pallace, to suffer due chastisement for his sinne committed; andafterward he desired to know, by what meanes hee became so favoured of_Ciutazza_, the whole Historie whereof, the two brethren related atlarge to him.

  When the Bishop had heard all the discourse, highly he commended thewisedome of the Gentlewoman, and worthy assistance of her brethren,who contemning to soile their hands in the blood of a Priest, rathersought to shame him as hee deserved. The Bishop enjoyned him a pennanceof repentance for forty dayes after, but love and disdaine made himweepe nine and forty: Moreover, it was a long while after, before hedurst be seene abroad. But when he came to walke the streets, the Boyeswould point their fingers at him, saying. Behold the Provoste thatlay with _Ciutazza_: Which was such a wearisome life to him, that hebecame (well neere) distracted in his wits. In this manner the honestGentlewoman discharged her dutie, and rid her selfe of the Provostsimportunity: _Ciutazza_ had a merry night of it, and a new Smocke alsofor her labour.