Women: A Novel

  “No.”

  “Then let’s get a drink.”

  “Drink, drink, drink! Is that all you can think of?”

  “No, but it’s a good way to get through spaces, like this one.”

  “Can’t you face things straight?”

  “I can but I’d rather not.”

  “That’s escapism.”

  “Everything is: playing golf, sleeping, eating, walking, arguing, jogging, breathing, fucking….”

  “Fucking?”

  “Look, we’re talking like high school children. Let’s get you on the plane.”

  It wasn’t going well. I wanted to kiss her but I sensed her reserve. A wall. Iris wasn’t feeling good, I guess, and I wasn’t feeling good.

  “All right,” she said, “we’ll check in and then go get a drink. Then I’ll fly away forever: real smooth, real easy, no pain.” “All right!” I said. And that was just the way it was.

  The way back: Century Boulevard east, down to Crenshaw, up 8th Avenue, then Arlington to Wilton. I decided to pick up my laundry and turned right on Beverly Boulevard I drove into the lot behind the Silverette Cleaners and parked the Volks. As I did a young black girl in a red dress walked past. She had a marvelous swing to her ass, a most marvelous motion. Then the building blocked my view. She had the movements; it was as if life had given a few women a supple grace and denied the rest. She had that indescribable grace.

  I stepped out onto the sidewalk and watched her from behind. I saw her turn and look back. Then she stood and stared at me, looking back over her shoulder. I walked into the laundry. When I came out with my things she was standing by my Volks. I put the things inside from the passenger’s side. Then I moved around to the driver’s side. She stood in front of me. She was about 27 with a very round face, impassive. We were standing very close together.

  “I saw you looking at me. Why were you looking at me?”

  “I apologize. I didn’t mean any offense.”

  “I want to know why you were looking at me. You were really staring at me.”

  “Look, you’re a beautiful woman. You have a beautiful body. I saw you walk by and I looked. I couldn’t help it.”

  “Do you want a date for tonight?”

  “Well, that would be great. But I’ve got a date. I’ve got something going.”

  I circled around her and made for the driver’s side. I opened the door and got in. She walked off. As she did I heard her whisper, “Dumb honky asshole.”

  I opened the mail—nothing. I needed to regroup. Something needed was missing. I looked in the refrigerator. Nothing. I walked outside, got in the Volks and drove to the Blue Elephant liquor store. I got a fifth of Smirnoff and some 7-UP. As I drove back toward my place, somewhere along the way, I knew I had forgotten cigarettes.

  I went south down Western Avenue, took a left on Hollywood Boulevard, then a right on Serrano. I was trying to get to a Sav-On—for smokes. Right on the corner of Serrano and Sunset stood another black girl, a high-yellow in black high heels and a mini-skirt. As she stood there in that short skirt I could see just a touch of blue panty. She began to walk and I drove along beside her. She pretended not to notice me.

  “Hey, baby!”

  She stopped. I pulled over to the curb. She walked up to the car. “How you doing?” I asked her. “All right.”

  “Are you a decoy?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean,” I asked her, “how do I know you’re not a cop?”

  “How do I know you’re not a cop?”

  “Look at my face. Do I look like a cop?”

  “All right,” she said, “drive around the corner and park. I’ll get in around the corner.”

  I drove around the corner in front of Mr. Famous N.J. Sandwiches. She opened the door and got in.

  “What do you want?” she asked. She was in her mid-thirties and one large solid gold tooth stood out in the center of her smile. She’d never be broke.

  “Head,” I said.

  “Twenty dollars.”

  “O.K., let’s go.”

  “Drive up Western to Franklin, take a left, go to Harvard and take a right.”

  When we got to Harvard it was hard to park. Finally I parked in a red zone and we got out. “Follow me,” she said.

  It was a decaying high-rise. Just before we reached the lobby she took a right and I followed her up a cement stairway, watching her ass. It was strange, but everybody had an ass. It was almost sad. But I didn’t want her ass. I followed her down a hallway and then up some more cement steps. We were using some kind of fire escape instead of the elevator. What her reason was I had no idea. But I needed the exercise—if I intended to write big fat novels in my old age like Knut Hamsun.

  We finally reached her apartment and she got out her key. I grabbed her hand.

  “Wait a minute,” I said.

  “What is it?”

  “You got a couple of big black bastards in there who are gonna kick my ass and roll me?”

  “No, there’s nobody in there. I live with a girl friend and she’s not home. She works at the Broadway Department Store.”

  “Give me the key.”

  I opened the door slowly and then kicked it wide with my foot. I looked inside. I had my steel but I didn’t reach. She closed the door behind us.

  “Come on in the bedroom,” she said.

  “Wait a minute….”

  I ripped open a closet door and reaching in felt behind the clothing. Nothing.

  “What kind of shit are you on, man?”

  “I’m not on any kind of shit!”

  “Oh Lord …”

  I ran into the bathroom and yanked back the shower curtain. Nothing. I went into the kitchen, pulled back the plastic curtain below the sink. Just a filthy overflowing plastic trash basket. I checked the other bedroom, the closet in there. I looked under the double bed: an empty bottle of Ripple. I walked out.

  “Come on back here,” she said.

  It was a tiny bedroom, more like an alcove. There was a cot with dirty sheets. The blanket was on the floor. I unzipped and pulled it out.

  “$20,” she said.

  “Get your lips on this motherfucker! Suck it dry!”

  “$20.”

  “I know the price. Earn it. Drain my balls.”

  “$20 first….”

  “Oh yeah? I give you the twenty, how do I know you don’t yell for the cops? How do I know your 7-foot basketball-ass brother don’t arrive with his switchblade?”

  “$20 first. And don’t worry. I’ll suck you. I’ll suck you good.”

  “1 don’t trust you, whore.”

  I zipped up and got out of there, fast, I went down all those cement steps. I reached the bottom, jumped into the Volks and drove back to my place.

  I started drinking. My stars simply weren’t in order.

  The phone rang. It was Bobby. “Did you get Iris on the plane?”

  “Yeah, Bobby, and I want to thank you for keeping your hands off for a change.”

  “Look, Hank, that’s just in your head. You’re old and you bring all these young chicks over, then you get nervous when a young cat comes around. Your ass gets uptight.”

  “Self-doubt … lack of confidence, right?”

  “Well …”

  “O.K., Bobby.”

  “Anyhow, Valerie wondered if you wanted to come down for a drink?”

  “Why not?”

  Bobby had some bad shit, real bad shit. We passed it around. Bobby had a lot of new tapes for the stereo. He also had my favorite singer, Randy Newman, and he put Randy on, but only medium-loud, as per my request.

  So we listened to Randy and smoked and then Valerie began putting on a fashion show. She had a dozen sexy outfits from Frederick’s. She had 30 pairs of shoes hanging on the back of the bathroom door.

  Valerie came prancing out in 8-inch high heels. She could hardly walk. She poked about the room, staggering on her stilts. Her ass poked out and her tiny nipples were hard and stiff, they j
utted out under her see-through blouse. She had on a thin gold anklet. She whirled and faced us, made some gentle sexual movements.

  “Christ,” said Bobby, “Oh … Christ!”

  “Holy Jesus Christ Mother of God!” I said.

  As Valerie went past I reached out and got a handful of ass. I was living. I felt great. Valerie ducked into the crapper for a change of costume.

  Each time Valerie came out she looked better, crazier, wilder. The whole process was moving toward some climax.

  We drank and smoked and Valerie kept coming back with more. One hell of a show.

  She sat on my lap and Bobby snapped some photos.

  The night wore on. Then I looked around and Valerie and Bobby were gone. I walked into the bedroom and there was Valerie on the bed, naked except for her spiked high heels. Her body was firm and lean.

  Bobby was still dressed and was sucking Valerie’s breasts, going from one to the other. Her nipples stood tall.

  Bobby looked up at me. “Hey, old man, I’ve heard you brag about how you eat pussy. How’s this?”

  Bobby ducked down and spread Valerie’s legs. Her cunt hairs were long and twisted and tangled. Bobby went down there and licked at the clit. He was pretty good but he lacked spirit.

  “Wait a minute, Bobby, you’re not doing it right. Let me show you.”

  I got down there. I began far back and worked toward it. Then I got there. Valerie responded. Too much so. She wrapped her legs around my head and I couldn’t breathe. My ears were pressed flat. I pulled my head out of there.

  “O.K., Bobby, you see?”

  Bobby didn’t answer. He turned and walked into the bathroom. I had my shoes and pants off. I liked to show off my legs when I drank. Valerie reached up and pulled me down on the bed. Then she bent over my cock and took it into her mouth. She wasn’t very good compared to most. She began the old head-bob and had very little else to offer beside that. She worked a long time and I felt I wasn’t going to make it. I pulled her head away, put it up on the pillow and kissed her. Then I mounted. I had made about 8 or 10 strokes when I heard Bobby behind us.

  “I want you to leave, man.”

  “Bobby, what the hell’s wrong?”

  “I want you to go back to your place.”

  I pulled out, got up, walked into the front room and put on my pants and shoes.

  “Hey, Cool Papa,” I said to Bobby, “what’s wrong?”

  “I just want you out of here.”

  “All right, all right….”

  I walked back to my place. It seemed a very long time since I had put Iris Duarte on that plane. She must be back in Vancouver by now. Shit. Iris Duarte, goodnight.

  97

  I got a letter in the mail. It was addressed from Hollywood.

  Dear Chinaski:

  I’ve just read almost all your books. I work as a typist in a place on Cherokee Ave. I’ve hung your picture in the place where I work. It’s a poster from one of your readings. People ask me, “Who’s that?” and I say, “That’s my boy friend” and they say. “My God!”

  I gave my boss your book of stories, The Beast with Three Legs and he said he didn’t like it. He said you didn’t know how to write. He said it was cheap shit. He got quite angry about it.

  Anyhow, I like your things and I’d like to meet you. They say I’m pretty well stacked. Care to check me out?

  luv,

  Valencia

  She left two phone numbers, one at work, one at home. It was about 2:30 PM. I dialed the work number. “Yes?” a female answered.

  “Is Valencia there?”

  “This is Valencia.”

  “This is Chinaski. I got your letter.”

  “I thought you’d phone.”

  “You have a sexy voice,” I said.

  “You have too,” she answered.

  “When can I see you?” I asked.

  “Well, I’m not doing anything tonight.”

  “O.K. How about tonight?”

  “All right,” she said, “I’ll see you after work. You can meet me at this bar on Cahuenga Boulevard, The Foxhole. You know where it is?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll see you around six then….”

  I drove up and parked outside The Foxhole. I lit a cigarette and sat there awhile. Then I got out and walked into the bar. Which one was Valencia? I stood there and nobody said anything. I walked up to the bar and ordered a double vodka-7. Then I heard my name, “Henry?”

  I looked around and there was a blonde alone in a booth. I took my drink over and sat down. She was about 38, and not stacked. She had gone to seed, was a bit too fat. Her breasts were very large but they sagged wearily. She had short clipped blond hair. She was heavily made up and she looked tired. She was in pants, blouse and boots. Pale blue eyes. Many bracelets on each arm. Her face revealed nothing, although once she might have been beautiful.

  “It was really a fucking miserable day,” she said. “I typed my ass off.”

  “Let’s make it some other night then when you’re feeling better,” I said.

  “Ah, shit, it’s all right. Another drink and I’ll spring back.” Valencia motioned to the waitress. “Another wine.” She was drinking a white wine.

  “How’s the writing going?” she asked. “Any new books out?”

  “No, but I’m working on a novel.”

  “What’s it called?”

  “No title yet.”

  “Is it going to be a good one?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Neither of us said anything for a while. I finished my vodka and had another. Valencia just wasn’t my type in any sense of the word. I disliked her. There are people like that—immediately upon meeting them you despise them.

  “There’s a Japanese girl down where I work. She does everything possible to get me fired. I’m in tight with the boss, but this bitch makes the day unpleasant for me. Someday I’m going to stick my foot up her ass.”

  “Where are you from?”

  “Chicago.”

  “I didn’t like Chicago,” I said. “I like Chicago.”

  I finished my drink, she finished hers. Valencia pushed her bill toward me. “You mind paying for this? I had a shrimp salad too.”

  I took out my key to unlock the door.

  “This your car?”

  “Yes.”

  “You expect me to ride in an old car like that?”

  “Look, if you don’t want to get in, don’t get in.”

  Valencia got in. She took out her mirror and began making up her face as we drove along. It wasn’t far to my place. I parked.

  Inside she said, “This place is filthy. You need somebody to fix it up.”

  I got out the vodka and the 7-UP and poured two drinks. Valencia pulled her boots off.

  #x201C;Where’s your typewriter?”

  “On the kitchen table.”

  “You don’t have a desk? I thought writers had desks.”

  “Some don’t even have kitchen tables.”

  “You been married?” Valencia asked. “Once.”

  “What went wrong?”

  “We began to hate each other.”

  “I’ve been married four times. I still see my ex-husbands. We’re friends.”

  “Drink up.”

  “You seem nervous,” said Valencia. “I’m all right.”

  Valencia finished her drink, then stretched out on the couch. She put her head in my lap. I began to stroke her hair. I poured her another drink, and went back to stroking her hair. I could look into her blouse and see her breasts. I leaned over and gave her a long kiss. Her tongue darted in and out of my mouth. I hated her. My cock began to rise. We kissed again and I reached down into her blouse.

  “I knew I’d meet you some day,” she said.

  I kissed her again, this time with some savagery. She felt my cock against her head.

  “Hey!” she said.

  “It’s nothing,” I said.

  “Like hell,” she said. “What do you wa
nt to do?”

  “I don’t know….”

  “I know.”

  Valencia got up and went to the bathroom. When she came out she was naked. She got under the bedsheet. I had another drink. Then I undressed and got into bed. I pulled the sheet back. What huge breasts. She was one-half breast. I firmed one up with my hand as best I could and sucked at the nipple. It didn’t harden. I went to the other breast and sucked at the nipple. No response. I sloshed her breasts about. I stuck my cock in between them. The nipples remained soft. I shoved my cock at her mouth and she turned her head away. I thought of burning her ass with a cigarette. What a mass of flesh she was. A worn out busted down streetwalker. Whores usually made me hot. My cock was hard but my spirit wasn’t in it.

  “Are you Jewish?” I asked her.

  “No.”

  “You look Jewish.”

  “I’m not.”

  “You live in the Fairfax district, don’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are your parents Jewish?”

  “Listen, what’s all this Jewish shit?”

  “Don’t feel bad. Some of my best friends are Jewish.”

  I sloshed her breasts around again.

  “You seem frightened,” Valencia said. “You seem uptight.”

  I waved my cock in her face.

  “Does that look frightened?”

  “It looks horrible. Where’d you get all those big veins?”

  “I like them.”

  I grabbed her by the hair and pressed her head up against the wall and sucked at her teeth while looking into her eyes. Then I began playing with her cunt. She was a long time coming around. Then she began to open and I stuck my finger in. I got to the clit and worked it. Then I mounted. My cock was inside of her. We were actually fucking. I had no desire to please her. Valencia had a fair grip. I was into her pretty good but she didn’t seem to be responding. I didn’t care. I pumped and pumped. One more fuck. Research. There was no sense of violation involved. Poverty and ignorance bred their own truth. She was mine. We were two animals in the forest and I was murdering her. She was coming around. I kissed her and her lips were finally open. I dug it in. The blue walls watched us. Valencia began making little sounds. That spurred me on.

  When she came out of the bathroom I was dressed. There were two drinks on the table. We sipped our drinks.