The Last Chapter

was different from the RAF but we soon got into it, once again, wireless theory was a bug bear to me but I kept trying. The course was for about 3 months overall, but ours was shortened to something like 8 weeks, we done the morse and procedure tests ok. The wireless theory was my worry and it was an oral test, the night before I went through my books and picked 2 or 3 pages out and studied them until I had them in my head, I’d taken a chance so I was just hoping. The following morning I had to face this Sergeant across a table, the first thing he asked me was could I quote OHMS law. I started to say “If the current ---- he stopped me 3 times and then said there’s no IF about it, I then said “The current in a circuit is directly proportionate to the voltage and indirectly proportionate to the resistance or something like that any way. Then he proceeded to ask me all the questions about what I had studied the night before, it was a great feeling to be able to say “I’ve Passed” My ambition in the RAF was to get my sparks on my arm, but I couldn’t fulfil it, this was the next best thing. After it was over we didn’t know where we were going so we were given certain jobs to do. I went into the office, Sgt. Noblett was in charge and gave me loads to do. He asked me could I play football, I said in a fashion and I loved the game. They had a team they were quite good including 2 or 3 professionals, one was Bobby Campbell who I shared a room with once, he was an excellent winger who was on Chelsea’s books. He was looking forward to getting home to start pro football again.

  In the meantime Geordie, Taffy and me volunteered for the paratroops and were waiting to get away from MHOW. Then Sgt. Noblett hit me with something I didn’t expect, he asked me to stay permanently in the office and within a month I would be Corporal (2 stripes) within 3 months I’d be a Sergeant. He pointed out the perks that went with Sergeants stripes, he told me, and you’d have your own room, your own bearer, and all the things that went on in the Sergeants mess. He also said, stripes attract women and of course a substantial rise in pay. I had really bonded with my mates you know, we’d been through Northern Ireland and were still together. I told them about it and they said it was up to me, I agonised over this problem, but then decided to stick with me mates. I told the Sergeant my decision, he laughed and said “Your wrong, but if that’s what you want, go ahead and good luck”

  They say there’s always a first time for everything, the toilets in India left a lot to be desired and you left it for as long as you could, and consequently constipation was a problem with us all. I hadn’t been for over a week and someone said “Go and get a No.9” it was a pill that made you go. However, when I went in the M.O. had a large blotting pad in front of him, he tore the corner off it after writing something. He said give this to the orderly, I read it, it said “Enema”, I said there’s always a first time when I got to the orderly, he said “Drop your shorts” I said “What for” he said “This is going up your behind”. I found out later an enema was a soap injection, however, I told him to stick it somewhere else because he wasn’t going to do it to me. I hadn’t reckoned on the M.O. coming in and before I knew it I could feel the soap curdling round my stomach and it did do me good. The huts we lived in were quite long with a couple of steps down from one end to another. This chap who was covered with tattoos walked up behind me got a strangle hold on my neck and said “I’m strong aren’t I” I said “You are, let go of my neck your choking me. He kept hold, so I knew I had to do something about it, I managed to break his hold on my neck and we started to fight, over beds between beds, under beds from one end to another. It was mostly wrestling more than boxing, there were a couple of punches thrown but no damage, we were split up by a couple of the lads. Later on, he came up the hut to me and asked me my first name, he had found a spot on his shoulder that he was going to put my name. I think he was a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, he was no bother afterwards.

  Every afternoon was a bit like Siesta time, it was too hot to work so all the wallas came around Char (tea) wallas, fruit wallas and others. The fruit walls used to throw fruit onto your bed whether you wanted it or not, you paid them at the weekend. There were no windows (glass ) in any of the huts. They had wonderful memories too, the story goes that one lad had built up a bill which was quite big and he was posted to somewhere else. He was back 2 yrs. later and the fruit walla knew him and how much he owed.

  When we first got to MHOW a new intake of cadet officers had arrived and brought with them an epidemic of Infantile Paralysis (Polio), quite a few died through it and panic began to set in, however it subsided as quickly as it started.

  MHOW town wasn’t big, it was made up of small dark places you could have tea in and a bazaar, me and Geordie went into town one night, a tattooist wanted us to look at some patterns. We did, we both picked the same tattoo he wanted his on his right arm and I had it on my left, it was a dagger through a flower, we were both 19yrs old.

  After the course, they put us to work with some other officer cadets, teaching them morse and trying to get their speed up, they enjoyed it, so did we. One of them was a Scotsman who’d been awarded the M.M. (Military Medal) for bravery in Burma. That meant if he passed out on his course he would be a full lieutenant, whereas the others would be second lieutenants. Now the Scotsman was the same surname as me and we seemed to get on ok. Anyway, the passing out parade was a good show, we felt we’d helped them to get through, later the Scotsman was walking towards me and I congratulated him on passing out. Then he knocked me for six when he said “When you speak to an officer, stand to attention and salute and call me Sir”. I thought at first he was kidding me, but he meant every word, I’m not writing the words I called him to the lads, they were as shocked as I was.

  My mates and I were getting frustrated because there was nothing happening as far as we were concerned. So we found the adjutants office and we gate-crashed in, big mistake, you make an appointment to see him. However, he asked us what we wanted, we told him we had volunteered for the paras. He then informed us there was no chance of that because the 2nd Battalion Paras had moved to the Middle East. He said “I’ll give you a posting, look on company orders tomorrow”, the next morning we looked on the board and we had been posted to Chittagong in East Bengal (Bangladesh).

  We must have been on trains for about a week, we called into Calcutta one of the main cities in India before going through to Chittagong. Georgie was posted to Comilla further up the line, we missed him, and Taffy and I looked at the huts we were to live in and wished we were back in MHOW. Anyway it was a case of get used to it and we did, at last we had a Signal Office and we could get down to it. A lad called Blondie Hawley was already there when we arrived he was an excellent operator.

  It didn’t’ take me long to fall into it, we operated as far as Hong Kong, Calcutta, Rangoon & Dacca, you’re talking over a thousand miles from Chittagong. Blondie used to spend the whole shift just sending and I would receive, the following day we would swap. We worked 3 shifts in the signal office and after a night shift you get the next day and a half off. George Goddard was a cockney who loved table tennis and so did I, so having the time off we used to play some great games together, we played for hours in our trunks.

  We inherited 2 dogs, Tiger and Mitzy they went with the camp, someone had left them, to my knowledge Mitzy had 3 sets of puppies, and they were all lovely. Tiger had the Burma Star ribbon on his collar, we never found out but we thought who ever had him before us may have had him in Burma. Tiger was a fighting dog, if any other dog went near Mitzy he’d go for them.

  I was on duty in the signal office one day and got a signal from Comilla, I sent the appropriate signal to receive it, as soon as I heard the signal I stopped him and asked if it was Geordie he sent back “Yes” we had a chinwag in morse just passing the time of day. When I got back to camp I was pulled in by a Sergeant who played it all back to me, he had been monitoring everyone that day, and it was a flash in the pan there was no trouble after. But it proved that everyone has their own style of sendin
g and Geordie and I worked together for a long time while we were on the course.

  Around this time I wasn’t far off 20yrs and had some fat around the middle. There was a lad from Southern England who had quite a good physique through his exercise, he used dynamic tension which was Charles Atlas’s theory, muscle against muscle plus swimming. He had knowledge of weight training and he said he’d show me some exercises. We found a scrap yard and got hold of a bar roughly about 2” thick, we estimated it to be 80lbs in weight. I worked out with this bar, I did some bent arm pullovers, straight arm pullover, press ups and curls.

  Panitola and Hatisari were two places out in the wilds that we used to be sent too, occasionally. Once in Panitola I got a lift from one lad who drove a truck and he was going to the bazaar, I was there with a radio engineer a miserable southerner who didn’t talk much. The hut we were in, was on an abandoned air strip and when I got off the truck , instead of turning right, I turned left and walked and walked, I seemed to be walking for ever, I heard rustling and stopped still