A Surrogate Love Affair

  Tears well in my eyes. “Thank you.”

  She gives me another gentle squeeze. “Don’t mention it. I know the kind of person you are. If I asked, you’d drop everything and come running.” She looks off into the distance in thought. “Do you remember two years ago when I was on a diet and nearly caved because I craved chocolate so much?”

  I chuckle, nodding. “I went home and baked you a fat-free chocolate cake.”

  “And that’s the kind of person you are. I’ll never forget that. I’ll also never forget the day you offered to put some money toward my mother’s funeral when you knew things were a little tight with me.”

  Placing my hand on hers, I smile. “I lost both my parents. I was young, so I had others sorting all that out for me.” Looking at the table, I see her glass is empty. “You’re running on empty there. I can’t have that. You need to drink for the both of us,” I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

  “After tonight’s events, I think I shall have to take you up on that.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  After dropping Sally at home last night, I sent Ethan a text. He didn’t reply, but I didn’t expect him to. He and Sarah probably spent many hours talking. I must admit, I’m intrigued to find out what he’ll do next. I don’t take him as the type to stick with someone who strays, but who knows. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life it’s that people surprise you all the time. I suppose life would be dull if they didn’t.

  After I had sent it, I went upstairs to get ready for bed, seeing the nice shiner Kyle left me. He called last night and again today, but I ignored both. I really don’t know how many times I need to tell him it’s over before it sinks in. I was dreading him getting the divorce papers, but I can’t wait now.

  Knowing I took a rather drunk Sally home last night, I was shocked she came over this morning to take me to the doctor looking bright-eyed. When I asked her how on earth she did it, she shrugged. “I have a very strong constitution.”

  “Mrs. Armstrong?” Looking up, I find a young lady in a white coat standing in the doorway, smiling.

  Nodding, I get up. Sally squeezes my hand. “I’ll wait here. You’ll be fine.”

  “Thanks,” I reply as I walk toward the door.

  Once in, my eyes immediately look at the scanning machine to the left.

  “Please,” the doctor says, motioning to a chair.

  Gripping my bag, I sit down and wait until she does the same opposite me. “Judging from the notes in your file, I gather that you took a bit of a tumble.” She looks up, squinting as she inspects my eye. “That looks sore.”

  “It feels sore. Luckily, that’s the only thing that does.”

  “You’d be amazed at the fantastic protective cocoons mothers make for their babies. A fall so early in the pregnancy shouldn’t be traumatic…unless you had a blow to your abdomen. But you’re a first-time Mum and just want to make sure everything is okay in there. That’s where I come in.” She smiles, looking down at her notes. “You’re only five weeks, you say?”

  I nod. “Yes, around that. I only just found out last week.”

  Motioning her hand to the machine, she says, “Okay. Take everything off from the waist down. Unfortunately, because you’re so early on, I have no other choice but to do a transvaginal ultrasound.”

  Biting my lip, I get up and place my bag on the seat before walking over to the bed. The doctor pulls the curtain to give me some privacy. “Just hop on up when you’re ready.”

  As quickly as I can, I take my jeans and knickers off before climbing onto the bed. “I’m ready,” I say, trying and hide my modesty as best as I can.

  The doctor pulls the curtain back again, then takes a seat at the end of the bed. She picks up a wand, places a condom on it, and squeezes some jelly on the end.

  My eyes widen. “That thing is going inside me?” I virtually squeal.

  She smiles. “It won’t be painful. Maybe just a little uncomfortable.” I swallow nervously. “Scoot right to the end and lie back. That’s it,” she says as I shimmy down toward her. She looks up at me. “As I said, you’ll feel a little discomfort, but no pain.”

  “Okay,” I answer, getting myself ready. I hate smear tests, so this should be no different. As she slides it in, I flinch a little, but once I see what’s on the screen, every other thought vanishes. “Is that...?” I lose my words.

  She looks at me, smiling. “Yep. Do you see that tiny little blob there?” She circles an area that looks like a sesame seed.

  I squint. “I think so.”

  “Well, that’s your baby.”

  I bite my lip, trying to suppress my smile. “Oh wow. That’s amazing. I know it doesn’t look like anything, but it just seems so surreal to me. I have an actual person growing inside me. I...I just can’t seem to form words.”

  Laughing, the doctor removes the wand, takes the condom off, then her gloves before leaning on the bed. “Well, I can definitely confirm you are pregnant. We’ll need to book you in for a scan at twelve weeks. But, please, any discomfort or bleeding, come see me straight away. We’ll also need to set you up with a midwife, but we have plenty of time for that. Once dressed, let the receptionist know that you need to make an appointment for six weeks. I’ll contact the midwife department and get them to set up your first appointment. You should receive a letter in the mail within the next couple weeks.” She gets up, moving to the curtain. “I’ll let you get dressed.”

  “Thank you.” I say, still beaming.

  I quickly get dressed before picking up my bag and sitting in the chair next to her as she taps away on her laptop. When she notices I’m looking, she meets my eyes. “You’ll need to start taking folic acid. That’s very important.”

  Nodding, I swallow, trying to take it all in. “Okay.”

  She laughs. “Don’t look so scared. Here,” she says, grabbing a piece of paper and jotting some websites down. “Have a look at these. There’s plenty of information. Get yourself some books and magazines. Read up on it as much as you can. By the time you come back for your next scan, you’ll know more than I do.”

  I take the piece of paper from her. “Thanks. I guess I’m just a little overwhelmed. I’ve had so much other stuff to deal with, knowing I’m pregnant hasn’t really sunk in yet.”

  She went on to tell me about diets and what to avoid, plus what exercises I can do to help strengthen my pelvic muscles. By the time I walk out of there, my head’s spinning.

  “Are you okay?” Sally asks, looking concerned. “You look as white as a sheet.”

  Swallowing, I turn to her. “I...I’m just...overwhelmed. And I’m pregnant. Definitely pregnant.” I finally manage a smile and grab her hand.

  She squeezes lightly, looking a little uncertain. “Can I say congratulations?”

  For the first time since finding out I’m pregnant, I forget I’m getting a divorce. I forget about Kyle and Sarah. I’m going to have a baby. I’ve been dreaming of this day since I was six and got my first baby doll named Beth. I dressed her every day, patted her back, and sang songs to help her sleep.

  Looking at Sally, I smile as the euphoria runs through my veins. “Yes,” I say, emphatically. “Yes, you can say congratulations.”

  She hugs me. “You’re going to be a great mum.” She squeezes me before stepping back. “And no matter what happens with Ethan, I’ll be there for you. I promise you that.”

  Feeling the tears well, I nod. “Thank you.”

  She pats my arm. “Don’t mention it. How about we go get some lunch to celebrate?”

  “Sure. I just need to book my next appointment first.” Walking up to the reception desk, I speak with the lady. She schedules me in for just over six weeks. It’s a date I certainly will not forget.

  As Sally and I come out of the lift and walk toward the exit, we spot Ethan coming our way. “Shit,” I utter.

  “Should we hide?” Sally asks just as he turns his head and spots us.

  “Too late.”

  ??
?Hi,” Ethan says with a bright smile as he walks up. I can see the sadness in his eyes. It also looks like he hasn’t slept. He winces as he looks at my eye. “How is it?” he asks, gently placing his hand on it. It’s soft and warm, which feels nice. He pulls away, awkwardly smiling like he’s done something wrong. “It still looks very sore.” He grits his teeth.

  “I’m fine. It feels a lot better than last night. Speaking of which, how are you doing?” I feel bad for him. Last night must have come as a huge shock.

  “I’m hanging in there. Once I got back, I confronted Sarah. It didn’t go well, so I stayed in a hotel last night.”

  “Oh no,” I say, then blurt out, “You’re always welcome to stay at my place if you need to.”

  He smiles. “Thanks. That’s very kind of you. I won’t need to take you up on your offer, but we will practically be neighbours.” I frown, making him smile. “A friend of mine has a studio flat on Baker’s Street. Conveniently, his previous tenant left a couple days ago, so I’m going to pick up the keys this afternoon and move in.”

  Baker’s Street is only around the corner from me. “That’s great. At least you will have somewhere to stay and think things through.”

  He scratches his head. “Yeah, there is always that. Anyway, what are you doing here on a Sunday? Is everything okay?”

  I start stuttering, but Sally quickly comes to the rescue. “I fainted, so Alice brought me in. They’ve taken my blood, but my blood pressure was a bit low, so they think it may be that.” I look at Sally, impressed.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. It must have been scary for you. I know we doctors say to avoid this, but increase your salt intake. Also, drink plenty of water. That should help.”

  Sally nods. “I will. Thank you.”

  Ethan looks at me before inhaling. “Well, I best be off. I’m just dropping off these medical records for a patient who’s being transferred from St. Jude’s. He’s one of my regulars.”

  “Okay,” I reply, wanting to get away. “I won’t keep you then. As I said last night, if you ever need anything…”

  He smiles, starting to walk away. “Thank you. Same to you. I’m going to be at number twenty-one, if you ever need anything. Maybe a cup of sugar,” he jokes.

  Sally and I chuckle. “Okay, thanks. Have a good day.”

  “You, too,” he responds, walking toward the lift.

  Turning to Sally, I take a deep breath. “Phew, that was close. How did you think of something so fast?”

  She shrugs. “I guess I’m at my best under pressure.” She places her arm through mine. “Come on, Mum. Let’s go feed your baby.”

  Smiling widely, I nod. “Let’s.”

  Chapter Twenty

  “It’s so nice to hear your voice again, Alice,” Mrs. Bellingham sings. “I tried ringing last week, and again Monday and Tuesday, but they said you were off. I hope everything is okay.”

  My eye still looks bad, but not as bad as it was. I received stares when I got to work this morning, but at least I haven’t had to deal with twenty questions.

  “I’m fine, thank you. I just needed a few days off to rest. How are you?”

  “Well,” she responded with a happy breath. I can tell she’s excited to speak to someone. At times, I wonder if it’s because she’s lonely. “The house is coming along nicely now—thanks to you. I actually spoke with your boss yesterday and told him how dedicated you were. He seemed happy.”

  “That’s very kind of you.” This was the first I had heard of it, but I haven’t seen Roger yet today.

  “No trouble at all. If someone does well at a job, they should get credit for it. Speaking of which, I like to bake cakes from time to time. It keeps my mind occupied and helps with my kitchen workout.” Kitchen workout? I had to chuckle at that. “Anyway, I want to bake you a cake and was wondering what you would prefer? I could drop it by your office tomorrow.”

  “Really, Mrs. Bellingham. There’s no need.”

  “Oh, I insist. Besides, it gives me an excuse to bake today. I get a bit achy and need to get out of the house to stretch my muscles a bit. These are the fruits of getting old,” she laughs. “I need to go to the shops today to buy some more vitamin C. If I don’t take it during the winter, I get terrible colds. Goodness me. Sometimes they’re so bad, I can’t get out of the house for a week. My friend, Grace, almost died when she caught the flu last year. Terrible business. It does worry me a little. That’s why I joined a senior’s yoga and swim class each week. It helps keep me healthy and fit.”

  She pauses a moment, sighing. I smile. I’m actually starting to enjoy these little conversations.

  “Anyway, where was I? I’d forget my head if it weren’t screwed on. I sometimes wonder if I have Alzheimer’s, but I do remember things eventually. Oh yes, cake. Which kind did you say?”

  I start laughing. “There’s really no need, but thank you. I think maybe you should bake a cake for Grace instead.”

  “Oh, she’s dead,” she states matter-of-factly. “After almost dying of the flu, she decided to go on one of those Segway things and ran it off a cliff into Harlyn Bay! I told her those things were dangerous, but she wouldn’t listen to me.”

  I gasp. “Oh, my god. That’s terrible.”

  “I know, but she thought she was invincible. She was trying to find her youth or some crazy notion like that. I think I’ll stick to my yoga classes and baking. Which reminds me, you haven’t told me what kind of cake you want. I’ll just end up deciding on one and bring it in, so you may as well tell me what your favourite is.”

  Sighing on a smile, I thought it best to give in and tell her. I know she can be pretty insistent. “I am partial to carrot cake.”

  “Carrot cake it is then,” she answers, a smile in her voice. “I’ll get my recipe book out and make a shopping list.”

  “Don’t forget the vitamin C.”

  “Oh yes!” she gasps. “Thank you for reminding me.”

  “Don’t mention it. Thank you for making me a cake. That’s very kind of you.”

  “You’re welcome, my dear. I’m only too happy to do it. I best let you get back to work. I must be keeping you.”

  “It’s fine, but yes, I must go.” I lean forward, ready to hang up.

  “Okay, dear. Speak tomorrow?”

  I smirk, already knowing that will happen. “Definitely. Take care on the roads.”

  “Will do, dear.” She hangs up.

  Immediately, my phone rings again. I pick up without looking. “ITF Insurance. This is Alice speaking. How may I help you?”

  “Alice, it’s Roger. Can you come into my office for a moment?”

  Feeling nervous, I bite my lip. “Yes, of course. I’ll be right there.”

  Placing my phone down, I head toward my boss’ office. I feel anxious, wondering what it could be about. Is it because I had to take time off? Is it because I’ve been on the phone longer than I should? A million things run through my head. All of them bad.

  As I get to his door, I knock tentatively.

  “Come in!” he bellows.

  Opening it, Roger motions to a chair in front of his desk. Once I sit down, I cross my legs and clasp my hands together. We stare at each other for a moment, but I can’t figure out what he’s thinking. When he smiles, I feel my shoulders relax a little.

  “You look nervous. Don’t be. I didn’t call you in here to berate you about anything. Unless, of course, I have a reason to...?” He lifts one eyebrow.

  “No,” I say, smiling. “I didn’t know whether it was because of the time off I took.”

  He shakes his head. “Alice, you’re one of the most loyal employees here. I can’t think of a time you’ve turned up late or have been off sick. I merely called you in here because one, Mrs. Bellingham threatened to cut my balls off if I didn’t call you in and praise you…” I chuckle, “and two, I just wanted to know if everything was okay.”

  I notice him staring at my eye. As if in embarrassment, I reach for it. “This looks worse than
it actually is. I’m sure people are jumping to conclusions, but I can explain...”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “No, it’s okay. I want to. There are personal things happening at home, and you have a right to know why I suddenly had to take time off.” I take a deep breath. “Last week, I discovered my husband was cheating on me.”

  He tuts, shaking his head. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  I smile. “Thank you. To be honest, he was never a great husband anyway. I lived in a bubble for a while. I think I thought our marriage was normal, but it wasn’t. Anyway, I visited a solicitor to draw up divorce papers. The reason this happened,” I say, pointing to my eye, “was because a male friend visited my home to see if I was okay. When my ex-husband turned up out of the blue, he accused him of trying to take me away from him.” I shake my head. “And then he punched my friend. I tried to intervene, but this happened.” I point to my eye again. “In hindsight, I probably should have just stayed out of it. I was trying to pull my husband off my friend when he pushed me away, his elbow hitting my eye. He didn’t mean to, but I’m not going to make excuses for him. He shouldn’t have lashed out in the first place. Anyway, that’s about it in a nutshell.”

  I’m not going to tell him I’m pregnant yet. Not only will it open up a whole new can of worms, but it just seems wrong. The person who should know is Ethan, but I want to give him time before I tell him. I also think a big part of me is scared. What if he wants to get back with Sarah and take the baby away from me? What if he doesn’t get back with her, but still wants to take the baby away from me? From the moment I had the scan and saw the little tiny blob on the screen, I felt a dire need to protect my unborn child. This baby is no longer Sarah and Ethan’s. This baby is mine. There’s no way I can give him or her up now, especially after everything that’s happened.