Dwindle

It was when Chess pulled me aside that a wild look was in his eyes. The calmness that overtook me emerged at the smell of him, and he led me around a corner to a hidden place where we could not be seen. The look in his eyes stifled the fear I had about the rest of the Colony, and I looked up at him fearfully. Finally, when he didn’t speak, I asked,

  “Are you leaving me too?”

  “Never,” he said fiercely.

  He moved his hand slowly, deliberately, up the side of my arm. The motion was strangely decided. He’d never touched me like that with such unhidden purpose before. My breath quickened when his fingers made their way up just below my neck to my collarbone.

  “What are you doing?” I asked him breathlessly.

  “I want to memorize these curves,” he said, looking at the path of his fingers with a fire in his eyes. “You’re so soft, you know?”

  I just shook my head. I suddenly couldn’t swallow. He took my nerves as reservations, which I suddenly realized I had none of. He pulled away.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, in anguish.

  “No!” I said loudly, taking his hand in mine. “No, Chess, don’t!”

  “It’s what I’d deserve,” he said under his breath, taking my cheeks in his hands.

  He began to trace the lines of my lips.

  “I…I’ve done a bad thing, and I’m sorry for it, Myth,” he whispered to me.

  I wanted to laugh at this, but his eyes filled with tears.

  “What could you possibly have done?” I asked softly.

  “You told me to do something,” he said back, “and I did it, but it was foolish, and I don’t – I can’t…”

  “Hey,” I whispered to him, taking his cheeks in my face. “Whatever it is that you did, whether you wish it or not, I forgive you.”

  He just swallowed.

  “What do you want with me?” Chess asked. “You’ve been through so much, and you’re always so far. I don’t want to be far anymore. I’ve almost lost you too many times.”

  “You won’t lose me!” I said passionately.

  He just stared at me, and the longing in his eyes was unrestrained. I felt myself lick my lips nervously, and it seemed to be that this innocuous gesture was all that was necessary to corrode the last remnants of Chess’ self-control.

  He kissed me with force and wanting that I had never experienced, shoving me against the wall that hid us from others. My breath caught, and I tasted him, taking in the feel of his mouth and the smell of his skin. I found myself arching my body against his, and I ran fingers through that once forbidden dark hair, making a noise that didn’t sound like my voice, a wanting noise. He kissed my neck, and the ferocity of his lips told me he was goaded by my responsiveness as much as I was thrilled by his touch. He moaned too, and I melted at the wonderful sounds he began to make.

  “You’ll be my undoing,” he whispered to me, pulling away for a second.

  I found myself aching in a way I never have before.

  “Please…” I managed to beg, and he crushed his mouth to mine again, drowning out the one word. He pressed his hands around the nape of my neck tightly and deepened the kiss. I accepted, parting my mouth with a squeal. He was setting me on fire, igniting a want I hadn’t known existed up until those brief seconds.

  And then, we heard footsteps. The sound was loud, reverberating through the back corner, and we froze.

  We waited, but the steps went away. And the only sound I heard was Chess’ breathing. He was warm against me, and more desirable with every exhalation, but there was enough pause in that second of interruption that lent sense to us both. It put my reason back in control. We couldn’t be caught like that. I already had a reputation when Foot came outside.

  My mouth found his again, but this was a parting kiss, and it would have overcome us both if the fear of being seen in such a way was not so mortifying to us both.

  “I guess they’re looking for me,” I whispered to him, clearing my throat.

  “I guess so,” he whispered back.

  “Is this…” I trailed off.

  “Yes?”

  “Is this what you want?”

  “Yes,” he said, like the word was a direction of the contrary.

  I gently disentangled myself and floated away from his embrace, slipping back next to Ollie. I found my fears to be somewhat sated, and the only thing I thought of until it was that everything happened was Chess’ mouth.

  ***