House on Fire

Chapter 70

  Late Wednesday afternoon we got a call that the apartments were ready. Each had a private door that opened onto a common sidewalk, so they felt like our own homes. Beth and Dave had a small unit on the second floor and Dad was downstairs at the far end of the building. Our place was larger, a two bedroom at the other end of the first floor. I let Jessie unlock the door, and then scooped her up and carried her inside.

  “That’s so romantic,” she cooed.

  There was a glass vase with two dozen red roses on the counter, tied with a ribbon that led to a bottle of sparkling cider in the fridge, compliments of Dad, I was sure.

  We were both breathlessly excited. Our first home together. Our own bedroom for both of us. Our own king-size bed with Egyptian cotton sheets and a down quilt. We literally couldn’t wait to test it out.

  Dad didn’t give us much time to rest; Thursday morning the four of us gathered at our dining room table to meet the head tutor, Mr. Ransid. Yeah, really. I would’ve changed it if it was me.

  Ransid gave us sample GED tests to figure out what each of us needed to graduate with a diploma. He and Dad sat on the sofa, talking about goals for us. It was the first of many days we’d spend in that dining room.

  That night in bed, after we made love, Jessie said, “Cory, I’m worried.”

  “About what?”

  “I’m afraid I won’t be a good wife to you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Except for a few months when Mom was still alive, I’ve never seen a marriage up close. I’ve never had a real family. I don’t know how to do this, Cory.”

  “Just be you. That’s all you have to do.”

  “I mean, am I supposed to cook and clean and do laundry for you now?”

  I laughed. “No, none of that changes. We share. If you’re tired, I’ll do more. I’ll do it all if you want; I don’t care.”

  “No, I don’t want that. I’m just so scared I’ll disappoint you or make you mad at me. I need to know what you expect.”

  “What I expect?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Really? Okay. Let’s see… I expect you to be my friend, and to love me. I expect… you to tell me what you’re thinking and feeling, because as much as we used to joke about it, I can’t actually read your mind. And I expect you to make sure your own needs are met. Can you do all that?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “And you can expect the same things from me. There’s no other rules except the ones we agree on.

  “Okay.”

  “Tell me what you’re feeling right now.”

  “I… I feel… Oh, Cory. I’m terrified that I’ll do something wrong and you’ll leave me. I’m afraid something will happen to you and I’ll be all alone. I can’t imagine life without you. With Dad gone you’ll be the only thing I’ve got.”

  “You know me better than anyone. Do you really think I’d ever leave you?”

  “No. Not rationally, anyway. That’s my issue, I guess. But what if you get sick like Dad?”

  “We’ll have to handle it then, but I don’t think it’ll happen. I plan to grow very old with you.”

  “Do you know if it’s hereditary? The cancer, I mean.”

  “He said no. I guess it’s pretty rare, and doesn’t run in families.”

  “I can’t believe Dad’s leaving us.”

  “It’ll be okay Jess. Come let me hold you for a while. Come feel safe.”

  “Would you sing to me?”

  “If you’d like. Anything in particular?”

  “No, I just love your voice.”

  Friday was a day off. Dad suggested that we should expand our wardrobes a little more, and to get some groceries. The stores were jammed with last-minute Christmas shoppers. Jessie brought home a light purple silk rose she found in a craft store.

  “Like the one you had when we met.”

  “Yeah. It was the one possession I would’ve saved from the fire. I read that the color stands for love at first sight, and so does the fact that there are no thorns.”

  “That’s appropriate,” I smiled.

  She pinned it up above the headboard in our bedroom.

  The next day was Christmas Eve. Beth’s dad, Jim Johansen, flew up from Alabama. He’d had some time to digest the news, and wasn’t nearly as upset as we expected. Jess and I fixed dinner and eavesdropped as the men chatted in our living room.

  “Terrible time to travel.”

  “Family problems don’t take holidays. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your stepping in when you did. If you hadn’t, they might’ve run off, and then we’d have a real mess. “

  “No problem. I’m sorry it had to be so dramatic.”

  “Her mother doesn’t always handle things… the way I would.”

  “Your daughter’s a delight. She’s over at our place so often, it’s like she’s family anyway.”

  “I hear you’re sick. I’m sorry. Are you able to handle things for a few weeks at least? While we sort this out, I mean?”

  “Yeah, I’ll keep a good eye on her and her boyfriend.”

  “He asked me for her hand.”

  “Oh? What’d you tell him?”

  “That I appreciated him wanting to do the right thing, but that one challenge at a time was plenty.”

  “Sage advice.”

  “He wants me to get him a job in the Gulf, but I agree with you about education. Speaking of that, that apartment and the tutors have to be costing you a ton. And Beth said you bought them new clothes, too. Would you let me help out?”

  “The money belongs to my kids, and they want Beth here. The tutors cost about the same no matter what. That said, I’m sure she’d appreciate some pocket money for groceries and stuff. It’s no fun being totally dependent on friends.”

  “Fair enough. I’m flying up to Esky tomorrow, to see if I can straighten things out with my wife.”

  “That’s good.”

  “She says you and your kids are big news in the little city.”

  “Yeah, I’ll bet.”

  “Look, Mike, everybody in town knows what your family have been through these last few years, and you have a lot more support than you’d think. People are just confused and concerned.”

  “Count me as one of them. But if you’ve talked to Beth you know what I’m up against.”

  “My old man always told me never to wish for anybody else’s problems. The older I get, the truer it is.”

  “Dinner’s ready, gentlemen. I’ll call upstairs and see if they’re joining us.”

  When Beth and Dave came in, he seemed nervous, but she looked positively giddy.

  “What’s up, kids?” Jim asked.

  Beth practically vibrated with excitement. “Dave just asked me to marry him, and I said yes!” Eyebrows lifted and nobody applauded.

  “What?” She looked at each of us. “What’s going on? I’m getting married!”

  “Sit down, Hon,” Jim said, “We need to talk about this.”

  “Aren’t you happy for me?”

  “I’m… worried. Dave asked me earlier, and I told him no, that you were too young and had enough to deal with already.”

  “You said no? Dad! How could you!”

  “With all due respect, Mr. Johansen, I think it’s the right thing for us to do. I’m sorry that I had to go against your wishes, but your daughter deserves to be happy.”

  “I thought I was pretty clear, kid. My daughter is too young. She’d need parental consent, and that ain’t gonna happen. Once she turns eighteen she can make stupid decisions on her own if she still wants to. By then you’ll have proven you can be a good dad, you’ll be out of school, and be able to provide for your family. Maybe by then you’ll listen when a man says no. Until you’ve done those things, you’re not a man, and you’re not good enough for my little girl!”

  Beth started screaming, “I hate you! You don’t want me to be happy. Just because you can’t stand to live with mom doesn’t
mean I should be miserable, too!” She ran for the door, slamming it behind her.

  “Excuse me,” Dave said, starting to get up.

  “You are not excused, you miserable punk. This is on your head. I told you no, but you had to go ahead and make a mess of it.”

  “I don’t need this.” Dave rose and stalked out the door.

  “Jesus Christ.” Jim banged his fist on the table. “Sorry. I don’t usually swear.”

  We all sat staring at each other.

  “I have to go talk to them,” I said and got up.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Son.”

  “If I don’t, they might be gone in a few minutes. They won’t listen to either of you right now, but they might listen to me.”

  Jim said, “Well then, don’t just stand there.”

  I sprinted to the stairs and took them two at a time. I didn’t knock, but walked right in. As I guessed, they were stuffing clothes into bags.

  “Hi guys. Going somewhere?”

  “Yeah, we’re bugging out. They can’t stop us.”

  I reached out and put my hand lightly on Dave’s arm.

  “Dave, you’re an adult and she’s a minor. You could be charged with kidnapping or worse.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “What would you do for money?”

  “That’s our problem. Now buzz off!”

  “I know you’re both pissed right now, but which one of us three got our dad to consent?”

  “Huh? You, you lucky son of a bitch.”

  “That’s right. Do you want to know how I did it? Do you want to know how to do it?”

  “Cory, I don’t care if he agrees or not.”

  “I think you do care, Beth. I think you care a lot. You can only get married if he agrees to it.”

  “But you heard him.”

  “And that’s exactly what my dad told me. Just chill for a minute and listen.”

  “You’re just going to say suck up to him.”

  “No. You have to stand up to him. If you run away, you’re acting like kids. You have to use your leverage.”

  “We don’t have any leverage. We don’t have any resources.”

  “You have me. I’m your resource.”

  “Okay, Mr. Genius, what do you think we should do?”

  “Take a couple deep breaths. Clear your heads… Again… Better? Good.

  “Beth, I think you’re right about him and your mom. There’s a reason he chooses to work a thousand miles away from her. But every day that he works, everything he struggles for, he does for you, Beth. You’re his only family.”

  “If he cared about me he’d find work at home.”

  “Then he’d have to get divorced, and your folks don’t believe in divorce. He’s trapped. You’re all he has. That’s why he’s so threatened right now.”

  “You think he’s scared? He sure doesn’t seem scared.”

  “Well he is. More than anything he’s afraid he’ll lose you. If you run, he’s got nothing, and then he has no reason to change his mind.”

  They looked at each other. “Okay, we’re listening.”

  “Beth, you need to be honest with him. Tell him you don’t want to live with your mother anymore. There’s no love and no trust, just like the two of them. Tell him that his marriage sucks, and that it’s not good enough for you. Tell him you want better. You want to be loved, and deserve to be loved.

  “Explain why you need Dave in your life. Your dad’s not around enough to have a real relationship with you. You can’t depend on your mother to love you; she doesn’t want you. You need someone who’s proven they’ll be there for you. Every day, even when the pressure’s on and life gets shitty. Someone who’ll hold your hand in a freaking abortion clinic and then support you when you change your mind. Tell him that his grandchild deserves a father who’s there every night to tuck them in.

  Beth gaped at me. I could tell Id hit a nerve.

  “That’s why you want to get married, right? Your mom won’t take care of you and your dad can’t. You want to get married because it’ll give you some shred of security, and make your life suck less. Does that make sense?”

  “How can you know all that?”

  “Is it true?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Okay, Cory, yeah, it sounds good, but how do we do this?”

  “First, Dave, you need to apologize. You were a real dick to him.”

  “After what he said about me?”

  “You set him up and smacked him down in front of everybody. He had every right to be mad.”

  “So you want me to suck up to him, just like I said.”

  “No. Apologize for embarrassing him, and then reassure him that you both want the same thing: Beth’s happiness. That is what you want, right?”

  “Um, yeah, of course.”

  “Your timing sucked, man, but your heart was in the right place. She needs both of you. Tell him that you want it to work out between him and his daughter, because that’ll make her happier than either of you can alone.”

  “But I need her, too.”

  “Jeez, Dave! This isn’t about you! He doesn’t care about that. Focus on Beth. She’s what will bring you together. When you feel like you’ve done that a little, send him up here.”

  “You mean now?”

  “Yeah, now. Time to put on your big-boy pants. …and lose that Pac Man tee-shirt. Wear something with a collar.”

  “Shit. You going to be okay, Babe?”

  “Yeah, buy me a little time to get myself… ready. No, the new blue one – I like that shirt.”

  Dave had to pace around the room several times before he left. Beth sat on the sofa next to the bags of clothes.

  Beth and I didn’t talk much. Mostly she stared out the window at the snow, looking like a six-year-old waiting for her daddy. It was a long half hour before he tapped lightly on the door.

  “Can I come in?’

  “Of course, dad.” She ran and gave him a hug. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

  “I’m sorry, too. He… Dave and I had a very, um, enlightening talk. He told me about going to the abortion clinic with you. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

  “He’s really not a bad guy.”

  “No, he’s not. In some ways a better guy than I’ve been... Hi, Cory.” He looked at the half-packed luggage. “Thanks for… well, thanks.”

  “Beth? Do you still need me here?” I asked.

  “For a couple minutes, if you don’t mind. Just remind me what we talked about if I get off track, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  After about five minutes I still hadn’t said a word, so I got up and left them with each other. Downstairs, three pairs of eyes stared at me as I walked in.

  “They’re talking. It’s going well.”

  “Is she alright?”

  “Yeah, she’s good, Dave.”

  I looked around. “Have any of you eaten?” They all shook their heads. “Me either. Let’s do that.”

  The plates were cleaned and the dishes washed by the time Jim finally came in, looking exhausted to the bone.

  “Dave, look, I… She needs you now, okay? Please. Go take care of my little girl.”