The Black Fossil

  Chapter I – Jim Stalin Returns!

  James Buchanan Stalin walked in to his non-descript government office at nearly ten in the morning. His hair, which would be perfect if not for the bit of mess that resulted from it being combed improperly, was pushed back revealing a ruggedly handsome face that, while it would not compete with Brad Pitt was one that most comely women would not kick out of their beds.

  "What’s going on, Jim?" one of his coworkers asked, "Hot date last night?"

  "I wish," Jim said, "Estelle would kill me if I did."

  "Estelle?" the coworker said, "I thought her name was Sandra?"

  "I thought it was June," another one said, "And your son Ray?"

  "Who cares," Jim shrugged, "You’ll never see them unless the author gets hard up enough for ideas that he decides to use them as plot bait. This section is about introducing me to all those people out there who are actually reading this piece of drivel."

  "It could be worse," Alexandra Diminova said, revealing herself to be an important piece of scenery by getting an actual name, "You could have been a victim in one of his earlier books."

  "At least your name didn’t come out of a name generator," another nameless coworker put in, "That is worse than being nameless, I think."

  "Well since we’ve established that I look like hell and the author is a hack," Jim Stalin said, "What exactly am I supposed to be doing here? I take it that I have a job of some sort?"

  "I’m sure you do," Alexandra said, taking over from all the other nameless co-workers, "But I’ve never figured out what it is. It really doesn’t matter, as we’re going to be doing things completely unrelated to whatever your official job is anyway."

  "That works," Jim agreed, "So what is my job now?"

  "To follow me and try not to look too stupid before anyone gets to know you," Alexandra said, "It’ll give people a chance to get familiar with you."

  Jim shrugged and followed along. The rest of the workers in the government office went back to their meaningless jobs while Jim brought himself into the hallway where Alexandra was walking. She was rather good looking for a government drone, he thought. She smiled as she realized he was looking at her ass. Maybe there was hope for the man yet.

  Jim ducked through a door that was just shorter than his six foot one inch frame. He was not in bad shape for a fair to middling governmental employee, which was good and proper since he rarely did the fair to middling government job that he was officially employed doing. Aside from being tall and white there was absolutely nothing especially out of the ordinary about James Stalin.

  "So what are we up to?" Jim asked her, "This isn’t another case of my being called to save the world as a junior level bureaucrat is it?"

  "Nothing that obvious," Alexandra said, "We just wanted to show you off a bit and let you have a good look at my ass before we throw you to the wolves."

  "Nice to know you care," Jim said, "Where’s the boss?"

  "He’s in the office at the end of the hall," Alexandra shrugged, "I didn’t just bring you down the hallway to look at my ass."

  "It was a nice view anyway," Jim smiled, "You coming in to the office?"

  "Sure," Alexandra shrugged, "Why not. The Admiral could use some eye candy."

  "You sell yourself short," Jim said, "You’re more than that."

  "You’re right," Alexandra nodded, "I speak four languages, can type two hundred words a minute and can make a man whimper with just a caress and a whisper. But, like every other woman of my type in these books, I’m just a pretty face and a nice ass for the idiot hero types like you to ogle and be slightly amused by."

  "I can live with that," Jim grinned, "Come on, eye candy."

  Alexandra made a face and opened the door to Admiral Sackenbrenner’s office. The admiral, who for a man of about sixty looked a good thirty years older, looked up as his younger employees walked into the room. Both Jim and Alexandra had to do their best to avoid coughing at the thick plume of smoke that surrounded the Admiral’s desk. Despite the prohibition against smoking in public buildings he still smoked those disgusting cigars as if he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to smoke them all before he died.

  "Here’s Jim," Alexandra said, "As you requested."

  "Good," the admiral croaked, "I hope you don’t have anything planned in the next few days."

  "I’d planned on spending some time with my wife Julie," Jim shrugged, "Nothing I can’t do later."

  "I though her name was Jody," Alexandra said.

  "Whatever," Jim said, "So why am I here enduring your carcinogenic smoke?"

  "You and Alex will be going to an exotic locale to be named later," Admiral Sackenbrenner said, "Your job, officially will be to go to a boring and pointless conference, but you have another mission while you are there."

  "What would that be?" Alexandra asked, "Hopefully it has nothing to do with my ass…"

  "As fun as that would be," Jim said, "I think I can guess that it is something else."

  "You think you’re so smart," Sackenbrenner said, "Just tell me what you think it is secret agent smarty-pants?"

  "Easy," Jim said, "I’m going to get myself inextricably embroiled in whatever harebrained plot the yet to be revealed villain has in store."

  "And I get to be eye candy, of course," Alexandra said sourly, "What is so great about this overblown oaf with the luck of the Irish and the brains of a snail?"

  "He has a cool name that will look good on a book cover," the Admiral choked, "Not to mention his name is listed in the chapter heading."

  "At least you aren’t a mook," Jim grinned, "Though I bet I’ll be seeing some of them later."

  "You have tickets on one of those rickety little twin engine jobs that shouldn’t have made it out of the hanger, yet they expect you to ride to the island with," the admiral told them, "Be sure to hang on to both cheeks tightly and hope you land safely."

  "Thanks," Jim said, walking to the door, "Coming Alex?"

  "Yeah," Alexandra moped, "I’m on my way. Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

  "Because you’re here," Jim said, "It’s an adventure! Let’s go have some!"

  "I’d rather have a chocolate sundae," Alexandra mumbled as they left the office.