The Endërland Chronicles: Book of Daniel

The noises from the laptop sitting on his bed brought him back to the present. He wasn’t even paying attention to the movie that had been playing for almost an hour. He reached at the touchpad with his finger and led the little white arrow on the screen towards the top left corner. The little red square with a white ‘X’ appeared and he clicked on it. He didn’t feel like watching anything.

  Just as he was putting the computer to sleep, he heard the familiar knock of his father on the door.

  ‘Come in, dad.’

  The door opened and David’s dark wavy hair showed up first. They both had the same type of hair, healthy looking, dark and thick, only his dad’s had already begun to lose their shine and turn a shade of grey. David’s smiling face followed, but the rest of his body remained hidden behind the door.

  ‘Hey Danny. You busy?’

  ‘Dad, what are you up to?’ Daniel could not help but smile; he knew his father too well.

  David’s deep brown eyes grew even wider and brighter as he pushed the door open and revealed a small cake with a bunch of lit candles on one hand. On the other, he held a wrapped up box with a few colorful ribbons tied around it. Walking towards his son, David began to sing the usual ‘Happy Birthday’ song.

  Daniel hated that song and wished someone would come up with a better alternative already. Still, he smiled and sat upright on his bed, making room for his father.

  As the song finally ended, the candles were flickering right under his nose. He breathed deeply and then attacked the little flames with all his might. All the candles went out except for one. David blew lightly and it went out too.

  ‘Will you never get all of them at once?’ he laughed.

  ‘Never,’ Daniel replied, a fake stubborn look on his face. ‘Umm dad, you do know it’s still the 14th, right?’

  ‘Of course, son. It’s just, I wasn’t able to take tomorrow off as I wanted to, and I’m gonna be gone for most of it. So I thought we’d start celebrating early and continue in the evening after I’m back. What do you say?’

  This would be the first time his dad didn’t organize something special for his birthday, unless this was a ruse and David had some sort of a surprise thing planned. Daniel did not mind. He wasn’t a kid anymore and he actually felt relieved that there wouldn’t be much fuss about it this year. It didn’t occur to him that perhaps his dad had finally realized how he felt about the whole thing.

  ‘Sounds great, dad. Thanks.’

  ‘Oh, don’t thank me just yet. You might not even like it.’

  David put the cake down on the bedside chair and passed the present to his son.

  ‘I see you’ve had the people at the store wrap it up for you.’

  ‘Well you know me and presents,’ he said. ‘Good ideas, bad presentation.’

  Daniel laughed.

  The box felt kind of heavy for its size. He opened it with anticipation; despite everything, opening up presents was always exciting. The wrappings came off and revealed an item that Daniel recognized right away. It was a portable air tank, small enough to contain only about 10 minutes of air under water, but very convenient and light compared to the bulky ones they needed to use whenever they went deep. Daniel jumped up from the bed, feeling like a little kid again.

  ‘Wow, dad, you’re amazing. How do you always know what to get me? Thanks dad; I love it. Wow.’

  ‘You love it? Really? Oh I’m so glad; I wasn’t sure...’

  ‘What? Are you kidding me? When have you ever gone wrong with this stuff?’

  ‘Oh lots of times, trust me. If it wasn’t for your mom...’

  He suddenly stopped and the smile on his face lost a bit of its shine. Daniel noticed but didn’t let on. He hurried to speak, not wanting to ruin the moment.

  ‘I love it dad, thanks. Wow, I can’t wait to try it.’

  ‘Well, how about next weekend? I have arranged to be off from work. You don’t have any plans, right?’

  ‘Me? No. I just need to ask Laura to replace me at the library. She owes me one.’

  ‘It’s settled then; next weekend it is. What about tomorrow night? What do you feel like doing?’

  ‘Anything dad, I don’t mind.’

  ‘We can go out for dinner if you like. Or I can cook something here and we can sit down and watch “Finding Nemo” together.’

  His smile turned into a big cheeky grin as he said that.

  ‘Dad, I’m not a kid anymore.’

  ‘I know, I know, I’m just joking. We can watch anything you like.’ David got up from the bed. ‘You used to love that film though.’

  Daniel beamed back at him.

  ‘Still do.’

  They both burst into laughter again. This felt really good, almost liberating, and for those few moments Daniel actually forgot about everything else.

  Still laughing, David turned to the cake.

  ‘Shall I cut you a slice now?’

  ‘I’m full dad, thanks; I’ll have some tomorrow. You go ahead and have some if you want.’

  ‘No, I’ll wait for tomorrow as well. I’ll go put it in the fridge.’

  David lifted the cake from the chair and collected the wrapping paper from the floor. Daniel helped.

  ‘Ok Danny. I’ll see you tomorrow then.’

  He leaned and gave Daniel a kiss on the cheek. Daniel threw his right arm around him and returned the kiss. Any other day this might have felt a little awkward, but today it was more than justified.

  ‘I love you, Danny. Sleep tight.’

  ‘I love you too, dad. Thanks for this.’

  David winked at him and made for the door.

  Daniel stood there, watching his father leave the room and a sudden feeling of sadness came over him. He just realized that despite still standing tall and strong, his father looked tired and older. He wasn’t the same man Daniel used to know; age and life had left their mark on him. Daniel’s eyes started to burn and his throat suddenly felt very tight. He felt his entire face flush uncomfortably. As David was about to close the door behind him, he called.

  ‘Dad?’

  ‘Yes?’ came the reply from his father.

  Daniel couldn’t continue. David pushed the door back open, waiting.

  ‘What is it, Danny?’

  ‘I’m... I’m sorry!’

  That was all he was able to say.

  ‘For what?’

  Daniel didn’t know how to continue. He stood there, trying to get the right words out, but they weren’t making it very easy for him. This was something he had meant to say for a while now, but didn’t quite know when, or how.

  David was now looking concerned.

  ‘Danny, what’s wrong? What are you sorry for?’

  ‘I’m sorry that my birthday is the same day as ... you know.... Mom’s...’

  He couldn’t say it, but he didn’t have to. David understood all too well. He put the cake and the rubbish on the floor by the door, and walked again towards his son. He took him in his chest and hugged him tight. Daniel’s tears started flowing freely now, though he didn’t let out a sound.

  ‘That is not your fault, Danny, you know that. Not your fault.’

  ‘I know, dad,’ Daniel managed to say, pushing back from his dad’s embrace and looking down.

  ‘I’m just… sorry. I know you miss them a lot. And I know how difficult it’s been for you, trying to appear happy for my sake every year on her anniversary.’

  ‘Oh, Danny.’ David put his hands on his son’s face and with his thumbs wiped away the tears. ‘I have missed them, a lot. I still do. But they are gone, forever. And we are here; we have each other to take care of. They would want us to celebrate the good times and not linger on the bad ones. And, I’m not trying to appear happy for your sake son, I am happy, because you are still here with me; you give me a reason to be happy every day. I would never choose their memory over you, Danny. You hear me? Never.’

  He gave his son another kiss on the forehead and made for the door again.

  ‘Sto
p thinking about this and get some sleep ok?’

  ‘Yes, Dad…

  ‘Dad?’

  ‘Yes, Danny?’

  ‘Do you still dream about them?’

  There was a pause before David answered again. He had not expected this conversation today. He thought about lying, about not telling his son how he dreamt of his wife and eldest son every single night. How he woke up covered in cold sweat and tears in the dark hours, gushing from the pain of losing them and missing them terribly. But somehow, he knew he shouldn’t. Daniel wasn’t a kid anymore and he would not be able to protect him forever from certain things. So he decided to be truthful.

  ‘All the time, son.’

  ‘What’s it like?’ came the next question.

  David appeared to be thinking about it for a moment. His face took on a pensive look, emphasizing the still fresh wrinkles, and making him look older than he was.

  ‘It’s like, being with them again, I guess; reliving the very best and happiest moments I’ve had with them, only a thousand times stronger.’

  He now looked at his son’s longing expression, and understood what this was about.

  ‘I don’t really know what to tell you, Danny; there are plenty of people out there who never dream, or who never remember their dreams. And nobody knows why that is. But I want you to remember what I’ve told you; count this as a blessing. Dreams aren’t always generous, son; they can also be cruel. You don’t know how many times I’ve lost them in my dreams, over and over again. And it always hurts like the first time. Maybe this is for the best.’

  Daniel sat back on his bed. He felt tired all of a sudden, like he’d just finished a very intense and long work-out.

  ‘Maybe you’re right. I just..., I just don’t remember them anymore. Damien I could barely remember already, but now, even Mom’s face is fading.’

  Now it was David’s turn to well up. Funny thing about being a parent; life teaches you to stand a lot of pain, to take it as it comes and become stronger, tougher. But it never teaches you how to accept the pain of the ones you love, especially your children. For one more time, David gulped his own tears and remained strong in front of his son. Children should never see their parents weak.

  ‘I’ll tell you what; I know what we can do tomorrow. We can go through our old family photos and videos; we can make this one their year. What do you say?’

  His eyes suddenly set ablaze, Daniel shook his head affirmatively; this might just be his new favorite birthday yet. For once, he wasn’t going to be the center of attention for the day and they could talk more about his mom and brother. He’d always refrained from asking his dad about them, knowing the pain those memories brought. But there was so much he knew his dad could tell him about them, and he wanted to know everything.

  ‘Agreed,’ he answered eagerly.

  ‘OK then. Get some sleep now. Good night.’

  ‘Good night, dad.’

  The door closed and Daniel was alone again. He sat there for a moment, unable to focus his thoughts on anything in particular, then decided to go to sleep. It was almost 11pm and he was supposed to work the next day 9 till 1 at the library. He put his dad’s present on the floor under the bed, undid the covers and switched off the light.

  A vague image of his mother’s sweet face lingered in his mind, causing him to smile slightly. He heard what his father said about dreams, but he would still give anything to see her once again, to be with her; just like it was when he was little and she was alive and healthy. Maybe tonight would be that night.

  He had never understood why he could not dream. All his life he’d listen to other people talk about their dreams and it was always strange to him. He didn’t know what they were, how they worked, what they felt like. It made him feel weird and abnormal. So he would sometimes make up dreams whenever the subject came up between friends. That way he wouldn’t stand out, or so he hoped.

  He was unlike any of his friends in more ways than one, and he didn’t have many of them either. Most of the guys his age were all about parties and girls, cars, sports. He liked all of that stuff well enough, and while at school he was quite active and sociable, even more so than many other boys. Yet, somehow, outside school he never really felt comfortable hanging out with them, but it was not because he felt inferior or inadequate. He just didn’t really care about going out clubbing every week, drinking booze and chasing girls. Maybe he wasn’t ready to grow up just yet. So, instead, he stuck to his swimming, and reading and hanging out with his dad. Even working in the town’s public library wasn’t cool for guys his age. But he didn’t care. The library gave him access to a world different from his own, a world full of thousands of other worlds, all open and welcoming for him to explore them. And he did. What he could never dream of, he would read about, and then fantasize about.

  It was while trying to understand the reason why he could not dream, that he discovered this new universe of fantasy and adventure, a universe full of worlds he could enjoy being in the center of, magical worlds where anything could happen. He grew up reading about gods and kings, treasures and dragons, elves and dwarves and all sorts of other imaginary creatures that came to life whenever he picked up a book, or watched a movie. Fantasy became a second life to him, where he could have any adventure he wanted, yet still be safe in the comfort of his own home. And the more he explored, the more he yearned for that magic.

  But books and the sea were not all he was interested in; he also had a great love of the night sky and the stars. Whenever the weather was nice, and that did not happen very often in London, he would stay up all night and study the sky. He knew all the constellations by heart and the stories that came with their names. He followed the news regarding new discoveries almost fanatically, and had read dozens of books and articles regarding the universe.

  But it was the moon that fascinated him the most. He found it absolutely beautiful and enchanting, and could literally spend hours staring at it. As a little boy, he had promised himself that he would one day go up there and dance on its surface, like Armstrong himself. But until then, he was happy to watch it from his bedroom window and dream about it with his eyes open.

  The night grew older, and his thoughts soon began to lose all coherence and lucidity. Thus Daniel passed slowly and naturally into the unconscious state of sleep. On a usual night, he would have slept like that until early morning, without interruption, or anything at all happening. Tonight, however, was different. He was about to turn a point, and from here his life would never again be the same.

  Dragging her feet down the white marble steps, Sam walked frustrated out of the Chicago police main headquarters. She’d been waiting there for the last couple of hours; only to be told that she could not join the police workforce because of her health related problems. She was furious. What problems? What I have is a blessing, a bonus, not a problem. How many police officers do they have on the force that can stay awake and be available for work 24/7?

  ‘It would seem like an advantage, but it’s not’, the recruitment department director had told her. ‘We are not looking for robots to be on duty 24 hours a day, Miss Edison; we are looking for normal people, with normal lives and on good health. Being awake all the time does not really add to that, it takes from it. We appreciate your interest in joining the force, and I admit that I am impressed by some of your qualities that would have otherwise contributed to you being a fine police officer. However, the medical report is very clear, I’m afraid, and until your situation changes, we will not be able to consider you for a position in our department.’

  Sam felt so angry. She’d had such high hopes about this job, and now it had all turned to ashes. So much for using her curse to help others. What else could she do? She had tried almost everything. She’d done the waitress, the maid, the receptionist, the librarian and all sorts of other jobs she could find, but nothing had worked. She had been let go or quit from all of them at some point, and all because of her mood and bad temper. And now, she
found herself clueless as to what next.

  Getting into the bus as it stopped in front of her, her cell-phone began to ring. She took it out of her pocket and saw her mom’s face on the display. She ignored the phone, putting it back in her pocket and proceeded to pay the bus fare. Grabbing a seat towards the end of the bus, she threw her gaze outside the window, while her phone continued to ring loudly. Her mom was the insistent type.

  ‘Are you gonna get that?’ a woman sitting in front of her turned around and asked, clearly annoyed.

  ‘Piss off,’ Sam gave her an evil look, but pressed a button on her phone to silence it anyway. The woman made a disgusted face and returned to her former position.

  When the vibration finally stopped, Sam took the phone out from her pocket and checked her voicemail. Her mom had apparently given up and left her a message.

  ‘Samantha, honey, its mommy calling to wish you a Happy Birthday. I was hoping you would come over and we could celebrate properly this year. Daddy misses you a lot. Where are you? Please call us. Love you!’

  Sam switched the phone off and put it back in her pocket. She had not seen her parents for almost a year. She’d left home a while back and would only go back a couple of times a year to visit them. But every time she did, she would go through the same ordeal. They would beg her to stay and let them help her with her insomnia, but she wouldn’t. They’d had their chance. She had been taken to more doctors and specialists than she could remember ever since she was five, and not one of them could do anything for her. They could not explain why she had lost the ability to sleep. She had tried countless therapies and treatments during the course of the years, but they would only make her feel worse.

  Turning sixteen, she had decided that no one could help her and she didn’t want to see another specialist ever again. She’d made up her mind that she was going to accept her condition and live life her own way. Of course her parents weren’t ready to give up yet and they had not agreed with her decision, which had let to them arguing and fighting. Sam had become very difficult to deal with, and the smallest thing would set her off and sent her on a rampage. So, for their sake, as much as her own, she had moved out and lived by herself ever since.

  Being able to stay awake almost 24/7 proved of course to be a bigger problem than a blessing, despite what she kept telling herself. She tried to finish High School, but even though her grades were good, the restlessness within drove her to drop out near the end of Junior Year. What followed was a series of low paid jobs here and there that never lasted longer than a couple of months. Sam was always jumpy and easily irritated. In most cases, a row with a co-worker or a customer was the cause for her getting fired. Either that, or she would simply walk out, lacking the patience to deal with anything or anyone.

  Realizing she had an attitude problem, she tried to do something about it. She tried meditation, yoga and similar techniques. Nothing worked. At some point someone suggested to her that she had a lot of anger inside and needed to let it out. It was then that she took up a martial arts class, where she got to punch and kick all she wanted. This appeared to calm her down a fair amount and she got pretty good at fighting too; so she kept that going, learning many different techniques in the process.

  Money had thankfully never been an issue. Besides whatever she managed to make from working, she had access to a modest amount of money she had inherited from her late grandmother. She had been close to her Nan, and losing her when she was only fourteen, had been very difficult for Sam. She used to spend a lot of time at her house, which had been just next door to theirs.

  Nan had always been on her side when it came to finding a cure about her insomnia. She had always said:

  ‘There’s a reason for everything, my love, and one day you will find out what that reason is. That’s when you will get your cure.’

  Of course her parents couldn’t understand, or accept that. They had kept the fight going. Nan had tried to comfort Sam any way she could. She would even stay awake at nights to be with her, and sleep during the days, whenever she could. Sam had loved her for that.

  During the last few months of her life, Nan, as if knowing that her time was coming, had tried to prepare Sam for life on her own. She had suggested that leaving home and travelling around a lot, would probably help her cope better. She had been right, as Sam later found out.

  One of the last things Sam remembered about her Nan, was a promise she had made. She’d told her that she would always be looking after her, even from beyond, when she was gone. Sam did not believe in the afterlife, but that promise had touched her. She remembered lying with her head on her Nan’s lap and playing with her favorite ring.

  ‘Don’t say stuff like that, Nan. You will live for a long time.’

  ‘It may be so my dear, it may be so. But I still want you to remember that just because you won’t see me, does not mean I am really gone. I will still be looking after you. And so that you don’t forget that, I promise that this ring will be yours, when I no longer need it.’

  Sam had rejoiced at the thought of owning that beautiful diamond ring, with an emerald cut shape and silver setting. It would look so perfect on her middle finger. It had been her Nan’s engagement ring, though her Nan had never actually been married. Sam didn’t know much about her grandfather. Every time she would ask her Nan, she’d grow quiet and sad, with a longing and expectant look on her face, and then would say:

  ‘One day, child, one day you will know everything. But not just yet.’

  Unfortunately, Nan had apparently forgotten her promise, because Sam never got the story, nor the ring. Her dad had told her that he didn’t know anything about such promise and Nan had been buried with it. That had been a very sad day for Sam. Not only had she lost the dearest person to her, but also her faith in a promise that she had come to believe and hope on. She knew now there really was no life after death, and that no one would be looking after her from beyond.