It's All Relative
April snorting brought Jessie’s attention back to her. She had twisted back around to the front and was staring at Jessie incredulously. “Your first one nighter and you don’t remember? How lame.” She pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you just messing with me?”
Jessie sighed and shrugged. “I’m sorry, I was really wasted. I don’t think we even did anything.” Hoping her cheeks didn’t betray her lie, she glared at April. “You guys called too fast.”
April reached out and smacked Harmony. “See, I told you they needed more time.”
Harmony eyed Jessie oddly, but then shrugged too. “We were just looking out for you, Jessie. Going off with strange guys, even hot ones, isn’t a good idea.”
Jessie smiled warmly at her concerned friend. “I know.” God…how she knew that now.
April swung her head back around. “Was he hot? I don’t remember… He was the blonde one, right?”
Jessie smiled, but didn’t say anything. If they didn’t remember Kai, it would make introducing him to her roommates later so much easier. Harmony looked over at April. “No, he had dark hair.” Jessie suppressed a sigh. Harmony had started out the night drinking, but had eventually stopped so she could drive them all home. Jessie was hoping that when she’d first spotted Kai, she’d still been buzzing. Tilting her head at Jessie, Harmony asked, “He was Latin, right?
Jessie quickly nodded. Kai vaguely looked Latin enough that, seen from a distance, Harmony would buy that. “Yeah, his name was Spanish. Something like…” She racked her brain for something from back in high school Spanish class. Unfortunately, only one name popped up, and she spouted it out immediately. “Ricardo.”
April laughed. “Seriously? Oh, well, I’m sorry I missed hot Ricardo, your almost Latin lover.” She laughed more, greatly enjoying tormenting Jessie.
Jessie stood, shaking her head at the woman. As she was leaving the room, April said, “I made out with a Javier once.” Harmony chuckled at her and as Jessie meandered into the kitchen, wanting to run but making herself walk, she heard April add, “Yeah, that whole myth about them being amazing lovers – not true.” Harmony laughed even more at that and Jessie, finally out of their view, leaned over the kitchen counter, taking some deep breaths.
Maybe she’d done it? Maybe she’d thrown them off Kai’s trail. She was sure April wouldn’t remember him, hot guys were a dime a dozen to her, but Harmony…well, she was hoping the name and ethnicity would keep her from connecting anything. Even so, Kai was going to have to stay away from her place for awhile. At least until the details of that night faded from her friends’ minds. She wished they would fade from hers already. What she wouldn’t give at the moment for that night to just be a blackout.
Getting herself together, Jessie grabbed a protein bar and a yogurt smoothie from the fridge. Knowing she couldn’t appear antisocial or someone would ask what was wrong, she headed back to the living room to eat her meal. Her eyes drifted over the knickknacks she kept at her place, the photos of family, the framed prints of the Rockies on the walls, the clusters of candle pillars around the room. Everything was tidy and organized. It screamed - three girls live here.
As she listened to April and Harmony discuss the various men that April had slept with, Jessie noted that she had a lot of stuff. Idly looking around, she decided to box up some of her extra things and give them to Kai. He might like a couple of candles, maybe the muskier scents that she kept in her closet. And he might like the picture of Seven Falls that was tucked away in the bathroom. The famous waterfall might remind him of home. Jessie was smiling softly to herself as she ate, thinking about which things to give to him.
“You so did sleep with that guy!”
Jessie snapped out of her revery to see both April and Harmony staring at her. “What?” she asked cautiously.
Harmony frowned and raised an eyebrow at her. “We’ve been talking to you. Where have you been?”
Jessie felt her cheeks heat and she opened and closed her mouth, searching for an answer. April snorted. “You so slept with Ricardo.” She started giggling. “I knew it! You had that freshly-fucked glow when we picked you up.”
Jessie gasped and chucked a throw pillow at her friend. She completely missed and April doubled over with laughter. Jessie stuttered again, then shook her head. “Grams got hurt yesterday,” she ended up sputtering.
April stopped laughing. “Oh, god. Is she okay?”
Jessie inwardly smiled, but to them, sighed. “She fractured her hip. She’s going to be in the hospital for a couple of days. I was just thinking about what to bring her, to cheer her up.” This diverted all of the girls’ attention away from “Ricardo”, and they spent the rest of breakfast thinking of things to do for the sweet woman.
An hour later, Jessie was arriving at the hospital to see that sweet older woman. Knocking quietly on her door, she opened it when she heard her grandmother’s cheery voice. She was chatting with a nurse when Jessie stepped into the room. They were chatting so breezily, that anyone observing them would have thought they’d been best friends for years, but knowing Grams, she’d probably just met the woman. Mid-chuckle, her grandmother looked over at Jessie approaching her bed. Smiling at the nurse, she brightly said, “Oh, Susan, this is her, this is my granddaughter, Jessica Marie.”
Jessie obligingly smiled at the woman and extended her hand. “Hi.”
Susan smiled at her. She was around the age of Jessie’s mom, but was short, blonde, and round as could be. She seemed pleasant though, as she looked back at her grams. “Millie, what a beautiful family you have. Between her and the boy, you’re very lucky.”
Jessie’s grandma raised an eyebrow at her. “You just wait until you actually see Kai, he’s quite a looker. Do you have any single girls?”
Jessie flushed and wanted to protest, but couldn’t find a reason to. Luckily, the plump nurse shook her head. “Nope, all boys.” She glanced over at Jessie. “Are you single, dear?”
Jessie’s eyes widened. “I…uh…”
The nurse laughed and patted her on the shoulder. “I’m just teasing, dear, don’t panic. I’ll check on you in a little bit, Millie. You let me know if you need anything.”
Looking around Jessie, the sprightly patient cheerily said goodbye to her nurse. Jessie watched the woman leave and then turned her attention back to her grandmother. She patted the edge of her bed and Jessie came over to sit beside her. Putting an arm over her grandmother’s frail shoulders, she noticed some new magazines, a warm blanket, and a bag full of knitting needles and yarn. Jessie scrunched her brow. “Did someone bring you some stuff, Grams?”
Her grandma looked at the few new additions to her room and smiled widely. Glancing over to a bouquet of daisies in the window, her aged eyes glowed with pride. “Kai, he came in late last night.” She looked back to Jessie, while Jessie tried to not react too startled to that. She’d stayed pretty late at his place. He must have come to the hospital after she’d gone home. Grams watched her face and then patted Jessie’s knee. “He said he couldn’t sleep, still adjusting to the time zones.” She grinned and nodded to the door. “He charmed his way past the nurses, tried to leave me gifts while I slept, but I woke up, caught him red-handed.”
She laughed, and Jessie found herself shaking her head and smiling, a warm feeling settling in her chest. “That was sweet of him,” she said quietly.
Grams patted her knee again. “Yes, it was. He’s a very good boy. You’ll see that, the more time you spend with him.” Her grandmother gave her an odd look and then tilted her head at Jessie. “He said you got everything moved into his place.” Jessie nodded, careful to not show any of her turmoil. Being in his place had sort of been hard, especially at first.
Her grandmother sighed and looked concerned. “Is he okay there? Does he have enough? Does he have any food?”
Jessie smiled, amused that, even laid up in a hospital bed, Grams was trying to take care of someone else. Noticing how in line with her own thoughts he
r grandmother’s was, Jessie’s smile widened. “He’s fine, Grams.”
Her grandmother didn’t look convinced as she relaxed back into Jessie’s arms. Her face overly serious, she eyed Jessie intently. “We need to look out for him.” She shook her head of silver hair. “We’re all he has here, Jessica Marie.”
Jessie stifled a sigh and swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. Praying her eyes didn’t water, she nodded at Grams and then laid her head on the older woman’s. “You just worry about you, Grams. I got Kai,” she whispered, her heart constricting painfully.
Her grandmother exhaled and squeezed her knee. “Good, dear. He needs you.”
After making sure Grams didn’t need anything else, Jessie finally gave her a kiss goodbye and left her room. Walking back to her truck, Jessie flicked a couple of tears off her cheeks, surprised to find them there. Really, she needed to let this go. Sure, he was amazing, funny, hot, and now she found out, exceedingly sweet, but he was first and foremost, her cousin. And not even a distant cousin. He was her first cousin.
Climbing into her truck, she drove to the nearest grocery store, determined to fulfill her promise to her grams and take care of Kai. She loaded up a grocery cart full of the foods that she thought he might like. It was kind of hard, since she didn’t really know him. Not in that way at least. About halfway through, she gave up trying to guess what might interest him, and just bought what she knew she loved. If she couldn’t guess his likes immediately, then she could at least introduce him to her favorites. Pushing the squeaky cart past the produce section, she came across some fresh pineapples. Immediately reminded of him, she plopped one in the cart.
Getting in the line of a young, chatty cashier, Jessie hoped Kai wasn’t offended by her bringing him bags of food. Well, if he was, she’d just tell him that he couldn’t carry a ton of food on his motorcycle anyway. Really, who comes to Colorado in October and buys a bike? He was going to freeze his ass off when the weather dropped in the next couple months. While he was right, and it usually was sunny and dry here, it also got pretty cold, below freezing cold. Much chillier than the tropical boy was used to. She smiled as the cashier talked her ear off while she scanned the food. He was a bike guy? Ridiculous man.
A half hour later, she was knocking on the ridiculous man’s door. Well, really she was lightly kicking it with her toe. Her arms were lined all the way from her hands to her elbows with cutting-off-the-circulation bags. She shifted them and kicked a little harder, hoping he was home. After a second, the door briskly opened. He pulled it back and she stopped and stared at him for a moment, her arms instantly forgotten.
Jessie had apparently caught him just out of the shower. He had jeans on, but not buttoned, and was rubbing his hair with a towel. He didn’t have a shirt on yet. Her eyes immediately snapped to his chest, fixated on the tattoo peeking up over his shoulder. He stopped rubbing his hair as he took in her sudden appearance.
“Jessie? What are you doing here?”
His surprised voice brought Jessie back to the situation, or more accurately, the lack of feeling in her fingers. She peeked up at his sea-green eyes, amazing, even startled. “Help,” she squeaked, trying to hold out her arms to him.
He finally seemed to notice that she was nearly overflowing with grocery bags. “Oh, sorry.”
He swung the door open and grabbed a handful of the bags from her. Jessie sighed with relief when the pressure was off of her and the blood started circulating again. She hated making trips, and hadn’t thought that carrying that many bags would be so challenging. As he took the remainder of them, Jessie was a little surprised to find that she was breathing heavily. He twisted away from her as he set them on the counter and she studied his back as she shut the door. Leaning against it, she found herself biting her lip and imagining her fingers trailing over the backside of that black ink again. Funny, she’d never much cared for tattoos…until she’d seen his. Now she couldn’t get enough of it.
He twisted back to her, his face confused. “You bought all this, for me?” His face twisted adorably as he watched her expression, her still uneven breath. “Jessie?” he said again, quietly, taking a step towards her. Jessie’s eyes flashed down to his open jeans and then she straightened, staring at the ceiling. She couldn’t let herself think that way. It was wrong.
Deciding to take the humor route again, she told him, “Yeah, well, when I noticed your fridge last night, it reminded me of when my dad used to travel all over the place when I was a kid.” Her eyes came back down to him tentatively, but he’d buttoned up his jeans and had draped the towel over his shoulder, mostly hiding his body from her. He twisted to look through the bags again and she sighed.
“Whenever I’d call him, he’d say he was having a five-star meal.” Kai looked back at her with an eyebrow cocked and she laughed at his look. “That was our code for…a bowl of cereal.” Kai grinned and she smiled warmly at seeing it. Stepping towards him, she indicated the slew of bags. “I figured if you were anything like most men, you were probably living off Fruit Loops.”
He gave her an adorable pout, then opened the cupboard over his sink. In it, was one box of Fruit Loops. Shaking his head, he moved the box aside. Jessie laughed at what was hiding behind the box. “I also have a can of Spam,” he said, his voice on the edge of laughing.
She made a face, then laughed harder. “Spam?”
He turned and leaned against the counter, folding his arms over his chest. “Don’t knock it. I could make you a Spam sandwich that would have you turning your back on every other sandwich in the world.”
He lifted the corner of just one lip at her. It was startlingly attractive and she exhaled very slowly. “Well, I’d just have to see that to believe it.”
He grinned fully. “Deal.”
She helped him put the food away, a small thrill of delight going through her whenever he said he loved something. More than one time he asked her how she knew exactly what he would like. It thrilled her, and saddened her. The very last thing he pulled out was the pineapple. He looked at her oddly as he quietly said, “You bought me a pineapple?”
She couldn’t tell if he found humor in that or not. She wasn’t sure if he was offended by it or not. His voice was odd and unreadable. “Um…yeah.” Feeling foolish for her obviously ethnic choice, she flushed. “Sorry, kind of…cliché, isn’t it?”
He set it down and put a hand over hers on the counter. His hand was warm, soft from his shower. “No, it’s very nice.” His eyes got a faraway look for a second. “Reminds me of home.” Looking back at her, he smiled warmly again. “Thank you, Jessie, for everything.”
He whispered that last part huskily, and she found herself inching towards him. Not breaking eye contact, she placed a hand on his chest, just under his towel. She felt his muscles stiffen and his lips parted a little. Hers did too. She knew she shouldn’t touch him like that, but she felt drawn to him, she couldn’t stop herself. Her fingers curled, lightly grazing his skin and she bit her lip again. She felt the tears of frustration sting her eyes as their gazes were completely locked. She wanted to be so close to him, and she couldn’t be. It was killing her.
He noticed her tears. One of his hands cupped her cheek, while the other pulled her fingers away from his chest. “It will get easier,” he whispered. Looking torn, he finally gave her a light peck on the forehead. She closed her eyes, her stomach twisting at the same time. “I should finish getting dressed,” he mumbled, then turned and left her alone in the kitchen, staring at the spiky fruit on the counter. Stupid pineapple.
**************
Kai walked into the bathroom, needing a minute to pull himself together. He’d pulled away from her when all he’d wanted to do was grab her and lock those beautiful, perfect lips to his. He still sort of wanted that, even though his stomach churned at the thought.
He couldn’t believe she’d shown up on his doorstep, overflowing with food. In the shower, he’d just been wondering how he was going to get a full load of grocerie
s home with his bike. He figured he’d have to make several trips, but he hated making trips, so he’d probably just end up buying one day’s worth of meals at a time. Not the most cost effective way to live.
But Jessie had saved him from having to worry about it. And she’d managed to pick up the majority of things he routinely craved. Sometimes it was like they were cut from the same cloth. Kai closed his eyes, remembering that, technically, they sort of were cut from the same cloth. He knew genetics didn’t account for personality and tastes, but, it accounted for a lot of why they were similar. Too similar. Grotesquely similar. Don’t touch her similar. Don’t walk back into that room and throw her down on the mattress similar.
Running some water, he splashed it on his face, hoping to clear his thoughts. He needed to get a handle on this, if they were going to be such an important part of each other’s lives. And they were going to be, he could already tell that. He already wanted that. He wanted her around, right or wrong.
As his sense came back to him, Kai wiped off his face with the towel on his shoulder, and then hung the towel over the rack on the wall. He exited the small room, still warm from his shower. He’d cranked up the heat on the water when he’d been in there, wanting to feel a little bit of mugginess. As a result, a dampness was still in the air. He hoped that Jessie didn’t have to use it anytime soon. Running his hands down his bare arms and feeling the full-of-moisture softness of his skin, he glanced at Jessie as he walked back into the living room. Her eyes were locked onto his chest, but she quickly looked down to the floor.