Summer Sins

  She sobbed and kissed me back. Her fingers buried in my hair, and I licked away her tears. Lifting her up onto the bike seat, I hiked her dress up then removed her panties, my straining erection barely contained by my jeans. My skin itched and burned with a need to bury myself inside her, surround myself with her sweetness, to give and give until there was nothing left of me.

  I bit her lip and sucked while my fingers delved in her soaking wet pussy. I fumbled with my zipper, got the condom on, then without any foreplay, raised her up and impaled myself deep into her pulsing channel.

  I gritted my teeth as the pleasure exploded to the edge of pain. Sweat stuck to my skin, and she cried my name, but I didn't move. I savored being fully seated inside her body, claiming her as mine, and giving it right back for the very first time in my life. Slowly, I rocked back and forth, inches, then a bit more, never wanting this moment to end. She clung hard, head thrown back, dark hair spilling over my bike, and I memorized this image, relishing her freedom when she loved me. The pressure increased until I began to thrust harder, with purpose, scraping her throbbing clit and holding her thighs open wide, guiding every motion with a bruising command until she came, screaming my name and surrendering completely.

  I relished the surrender, knowing she loved me, knowing we were meant to be together. Finally, I let myself go, spilling my seed and pistoning my hips with a mad rush to savor every last bit of my climax.

  When she slumped in my arms, I picked her up then laid her down on the ground. She was crying softly as I rocked her in my arms, and I kissed her hair and held her tight.

  "I love you, Storme. I have a plan. I know I didn't tell you this before, but I do have a future planned. I'm starting at a finance firm on Wall Street in two weeks. I just graduated with my MBA and have a nice place rented in Manhattan. I want you to come with me. You can go to FIT and live your dream, and we can be together. I know it won't be easy, but we can do it. Together."

  A lightness flowed through my body as I held her. True, it wouldn't be easy for her to break off a wedding and stand up to her parents. But we loved each other. We had a shot at a real future together. I could feel it. I'd do anything to help her get through it. At this moment, I literally felt like I could conquer the world as long as I had Storme by my side.

  She looked up at me with those gorgeous, inky eyes I wanted to drown in.

  "I love you, Holden. I've never loved someone like you, and I never will again. But I have to marry Phillip."

  I stared at her, not understanding. "What are you talking about?"

  Her lower lip trembled. "If I don't marry him, his family business will be bankrupt. My parents won't go through with the merger unless we're married, and if I don't go through with it, he'll lose everything. I can't do that to him."

  The confusion faded, to be replaced by a painful rage that fogged my mind. "You're picking him over me. Still. You're sacrificing our happiness to be a martyr."

  She flinched. "I have to. If I run away with you, I'll leave a path of destruction behind me. I can't do that to him, Holden!"

  "So instead, you'll turn your back on us? Destroy us?"

  She didn't say anything. Just stared back with misery and a grief that made me stand up, needing to get as far away as possible. Holy shit, I had been so wrong. There was no happy ending for me or her. She loved me, had welcomed me into her body and given me a piece of her soul.

  But she was still going to marry someone else.

  "There has to be another way. You don't just walk away from something like this. Don't you feel it?"

  "Yes! Yes. I don't know how I'm going to go through with it! How am I supposed to say my vows when I'm in love with you--when all I'll be thinking about and grieving about is you?"

  "Then don't marry him."

  Her face shattered. Her voice broke on a whisper. "I can't be the one to let him lose the most important thing in his life. He'll have nothing, and it'll be my fault. I care for him deeply. I'll be able to go to FIT and pursue my dream while he runs the vineyard. Everybody wins this way. No one gets hurt."

  "Except me."

  "I'll always love you, Holden. Whether or not you believe it, you gave me something so precious and beautiful, I don't know how I ever lived without it." Her eyes streamed tears. "But I know now my real punishment is knowing I can't have you."

  "I can't do this anymore, Storme." Numbness replaced the pain. For now. "I don't have anything left to give you."

  "Holden--"

  "Get on the bike. I'm taking you home."

  This time, when I drove her home and dropped her off, I knew it'd be the last time I'd see her.

  This time, I refused to look back when I drove off.

  It was over.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  STORME

  "STORME, ARE YOU OKAY?" Phillip asked.

  Over a dozen people milled around the deck, sipping cocktails and chatting with excitement about the upcoming wedding. The smile on my face had become stiff, but I forced myself to glance at Phillip. The rehearsal dinner was tomorrow night, and my parents had swept down and taken over the house in a blur of activity. We hadn't been able to have a real talk yet, and I'd been avoiding the whole discussion. I had made my decision, and I needed to stick to it. Somehow, I'd find a way to be happy.

  "I'm fine." And I was. I'd spent the last week bogged down by last-minute details, and with the arrival of my parents and Phillip, my life felt back on track. Kelsey stood by Sean, deep in conversation. They'd been having a hard time after Kelsey found out he was leaving for the military. With Kelsey losing her father in the war, I didn't know if she'd be able to handle the emotions of saying goodbye to Sean. And poor Leigh had to go back home for her grandfather's funeral. I'd insisted on going with her, but she'd snuck out in the middle of the night, refusing to allow me to leave my family right before the wedding. Of course, there was another bombshell that she'd laid on us, and we'd all have to help her deal with it soon.

  Leigh was pregnant.

  "I'm worried about Leigh," I said. "She has a lot going on, and I feel terrible about not being there for her."

  Phillip squeezed my hand. "I understand. But she's also stubborn--as stubborn as you. She knew you couldn't go home with her because you needed to be here to take care of the last-minute wedding preparations."

  "I know." His voice and presence wrapped around me in familiarity. From the pleasant scent of Cool Waters cologne, to the warmth of his hand when he squeezed mine, to the open affection in his deep blue eyes when he looked at me. It was almost as if he'd never gone away, and I'd never had an affair.

  Almost.

  Because the past week, I'd noticed something else. I had changed. On the outside, I still said and did all the things expected of me, but inside, a tsunami of doubt built. I tried desperately to calm the storm, but each hour, it threatened to break through me. I craved to tell Phillip the truth about my feelings for Holden and that I didn't want to marry Phillip. I figured if I could just get to the wedding, all my choices would be behind me.

  I'd never forget the look on Holden's face when I told him I'd marry Phillip. After his confession of love and the truth about his job, I'd wondered if we could have our happy ever after. I wanted it. I loved him. But in that moment, I still felt locked on my course to help my first love and my best friend. Was there another way? Was I not only hurting myself and Holden, but Phillip, too, by not giving him a chance to know the truth? If it had been Phillip who fell in love with someone els and decided to marry me out of obligation, could I ever forgive him?

  Phillip jerked his head toward the crowd. "Let me steal you away for a bit. Follow me."

  My body tensed up, but I followed him off the deck and around the path toward the gardens. We sat on the scrolled metal bench under a crooked oak tree. Phillip stared out into the darkening night, his voice quiet. "Talk to me, Storme. We had a long discussion about keeping our summer open and seeing other people. But when I got here, you were going full-force w
ith the wedding. What happened with the guy you kissed?"

  I studied his beloved face. The graceful lines, the arched brow, the way his blondish hair curled around his ears. I had memorized his features, watched him grow throughout the years, and stood side-by-side as we helped our parents in the business that would one day become ours.

  And I knew I couldn't lie to him one more second.

  God knew I'd hurt Holden. All this time, I'd figured I was protecting Phillip from the truth, but he deserved to know the woman he'd say his vows to on Sunday didn't love him the way he should be loved.

  "I broke up with him. I wanted to forget him and marry you, but I fell in love, Phillip. I'm in love with someone else." Misery crept into my soul. I grabbed his hand as I tried to explain. "I don't want to hurt you. You're my best friend and one of the most important people in my life. But you don't deserve a woman who's not passionate about you. With Holden, I got a glimpse of something more, and I don't know if I can settle for less."

  I prepared myself for shock, or tears, or accusations. Instead, his face reflected a shared knowledge and understanding I never expected. "Storme, why didn't you tell me this? Why did you pretend you wanted to go through with this wedding when you had these doubts? I thought we always told each other the truth."

  I swallowed and gave it to him. "Because I don't want you to lose your vineyard. Because if we don't get married, my parents won't go through with the merger."

  He blinked, then shook his head slowly. "Oh, my God. You were worried about the merger? This is all my fault." He cursed, dragging his fingers through his perfect blonde hair.

  "This is my fault!" I half sobbed. "I screwed everything up."

  "Storme, listen to me. I didn't suggest we take the summer to explore our feelings just for you. I thought something was lacking between us, also, but we never had the time to figure it out. I didn't want to hurt you! I thought if I ran Drink It In Style vineyards, you'd be off the hook with your parents and be able to pursue FIT without worrying about letting anyone down."

  The dawning knowledge of our shared sacrifices hit me. "You mean, you were having doubts about us, too? You were going through with this for me?"

  He nodded. "Yes. I figured you were happy. You never seemed to question our relationship. And I know your mom was giving you a hard time about design, so this was a way out for you. I'm sorry. I should've talked to you about this."

  I laughed. We had both been so worried about saving each other, we'd gotten ourselves into a mess. "Phillip, you don't want to marry me, either, do you?"

  He squeezed my hand. "I love you, Storme. But not like I should. When I was out in California, I met someone, too. And I began having these feelings I've never had before. The more time we spent together, the more I realized marrying you would be a mistake. But when I got back, you were focused on the wedding, and seemed so sure, I kept delaying this talk."

  My heart pounded, and my mouth dried up. Dear God, he'd been going through the same doubts, and I'd had no idea. "You fell in love with her."

  "Him. I fell in love with him."

  Oh. My. God. I stared at him. "Him?"

  "Yes. Victor. The guy who owns the vineyard in California. This has never happened before, but I think it's because I've put those thoughts out of my mind. I'm safe with you, Storme. We have similar goals and lifestyles. We support and respect each other. I thought we'd have a good marriage, and the businesses would be safe, but I wouldn't ever be able to give you passion."

  Finally, the lies and denials were exposed. "What about your vineyard? The merger? What can we do?"

  "Victor wants me to come out to California. We're talking about a partnership. There's nothing for you to worry about, Storme. Don't you think it's past time that we both go after what we want? That we're both truly happy?"

  Yes. I did. My heart burst with joy at the possibilities for both of us. I reached out and hugged him. His familiar warmth enveloped me, and I held on tight.

  "It's time for both of us to let go," I whispered. "I'll always love you."

  "Me, too. But we're not meant to be married."

  I gave a short laugh against his chest. "How are we going to tell them?"

  He pushed me away, tipped up my chin with his finger, and smiled.

  "Together. We'll tell them together."

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  HOLDEN

  I WATCHED THE STRETCH LIMO PULL up in front of the church and waited.

  I shouldn't be here. I'd said my piece, my goodbyes, and moved on. I'd packed up hours after I'd dropped her off and left the next day. Brian was pissed, but it was about survival.

  I'd set up my new apartment, studied various accounts and Internet sites for financial data, and thought about her.

  And on the day of her wedding, I'd done the stupidest thing in the world.

  I came back to the Hamptons. I came back so I could finally lock the door of my heart and know she was gone forever. Because the chump that I was questioned whether I'd believe her truly gone until I saw her get married with my own damn eyes.

  Straddling my bike, I was parked on the right side of the church, hidden behind a thicket of trees. Heart pounding, palms sweating, I held my breath as the door opened and she got out.

  Her hair was done up in an elegant twist, hidden by the veil that blew in the breeze. Miles of lace followed her as she walked up the church stairs, her fingers clutching a huge bouquet of roses. Would she hesitate once? Look back? Wonder if she'd made the right decision?

  She never faltered. The door slammed behind her, and I knew it was over.

  I'd lost.

  Pain ripped through me, leaving bloody scars I knew would never truly heal. My casual summer affair had nailed me good. She'd made me fall in love with her, but she'd chosen someone else.

  My throat tightened. I needed to leave now, but I stayed, like the asshole I was, and waited until the last possible moment. The fantasy spun before my closed eyes. The door being flung open, and a bride racing down the steps, away from the wedding. Looking for the man she truly loved. She'd see me, race over, and climb on my bike. We'd roar away into the distance, chasing the sun and the moon, while she ripped off her veil, wrapped her arms around me, and became completely mine.

  Instead, the church bells rang. Twenty minutes later, the doors opened, and a flow of happy, chattering guests crowded the steps. No outrage. No runaway bride.

  Nothing but me, alone in the parking lot, waiting for a woman who didn't want me.

  This time, I turned, grabbing my helmet. Then I heard the voice.

  "You came."

  My heart stopped. The breath strangled in my chest. I swiveled my head around and stared at her.

  She was dressed in a flowing peach dress that skimmed her curves in the lightest of silk. Dark hair was twisted in a braid and threaded with tiny roses. Her fingers clutched a bouquet of delicate daisies and sunflowers. Plump lips shimmered with some type of golden sparkle, and those gorgeous eyes stared into mine with a raw emotion that staggered me. Shock hit me full-force. I stared at her as if she were an illusion that would disappear in a puff of smoke if I looked away for a second.

  "What--what's going on? You didn't marry him?"

  She slowly shook her head. Walking toward me, she stopped a few inches away, lifting her hands as if to touch me, then dropping them back to her sides. "I couldn't," she said softly. "I'm in love with someone else."

  Joy and hope exploded within me. Too terrified to believe it, I reached out and took her hand. Her ring finger was bare. The sapphire was gone.

  "But--I saw the wedding. I saw you go in and get married."

  She smiled, and it was like the sun breaking through the rain. "That was Kelsey. Kelsey and Sean got married. We had the date, the church, and the reception booked already, so it was perfect. I'm one of the bridesmaids."

  My heart pounded so hard I could barely get the words out. "I thought I'd lost you," I said. "You said you couldn't choose me."

  Sh
e tilted her head, and pure love shone from her inky eyes. "I couldn't not choose you. Phillip and I aren't in love the way we should be. We're good friends who care about each other. I told you I was going through with it because his company would go bankrupt, and our marriage would have merged the businesses. I thought I had no other choice, but you were right, Holden. The choice was always mine to make. My life."

  "What about Phillip?"

  "He loves me like a sister. He was marrying me so I could go to FIT in the fall and follow my dreams. He planned to run the vineyard. We were both sacrificing for the other because of our friendship. He met someone in California, and he's been fighting his real feelings for a long time. He's gay."

  I almost stumbled back. While I didn't see that coming, now his lack of attraction for Storme made perfect sense. "Wow. Is he going to lose his vineyard?"

  "No. He has other options. We faced our parents together and told them the truth. It's time we made our own choices and lived our lives. I told my mother I was accepting my admission to FIT in the fall. The vineyard will always be my heritage, and will always be a part of my life, but it will have to be on my terms now."

  It was too much to hope for. My fingers squeezed hers. "We'll both be going to New York City, then?"

  She chewed at her lower lip. Those beautiful dark eyes filled with longing and hope and a sweet need that knocked me to my damn knees. "Yes. I know I've put you through a lot this summer. I was coming after you, you know. To the city. I intended to beg and plead and stalk you until you'd talk to me. I can only hope you can forgive me. I love you, Holden. I love you like I've never loved a man, and I want to be with you. I want to follow our dreams in the city and see where this takes us. Phillip is my past. You're my future."

  She dragged in a breath and continued. "It's always been you, ever since that moment you drove up on that bike of yours and made me lose my temper." She reached out slowly, caressing my cheek. "I was afraid of change and my own choices. You helped me believe in myself again and gave me the strength and confidence to stand on my own. I know you may need time to forgive me and trust me again. So, the question is, will you give me that chance, motorcycle man?"