Stay in Berlin

relationship, had vowed in heart, even before he left for Germany, that he would not follow in their footsteps. So, when Remi came into the picture, he executed the plan he had harbored in his heart for years: he held back showing affection for Remi and instead chose to show his devotion by acts of kindness.

  This was the revelation Remi had waited for, but now that she knew these things, it was a bitter-sweet. You see, now there was another man in the picture - Olisa - and she did not need to go and rummage in any drawers to find out how Olisa felt about her. He plainly told her so and showed it by his actions. Remi was now in a quandary and she asked herself bitterly over and over again, why it had taken so long to make this discovery. All along, she had thought that Olisa was the single added complication in her life, but now it was clear that both Kayode and Olisa were wrinkles she had to iron out. Remi was troubled.

  "Why is it that once a woman is off the market, all these highly attractive, highly desirable, uber sexy men start taking a keen interest in her?" Remi asked herself, referring of course, to Olisa. The irony!

  "Where was Olisa when I was single and searching? And why did Kayode not explain his struggle to me from day one? I would have understood why he--"

  And that was when she remembered. That look, that struggle she had seen in Kayode's eyes during their argument. Now, she firmly understood it. What would she do with this new piece of information?

  Assailed by an army of questions which refused to let her be, Remi returned the journal to its habitat, and resumed her search for the medicine. She found it in the medicine cabinet behind the mirror in Kayode's bathroom. Then, she ate, took a shower, took a few pills to quieten her thoughts and managed to go back to sleep. When Kayode returned from work, he apologized for leaving the medicine in his room. If he noticed that someone had been fiddling with his journal, he certainly did not show it. And he did not mention it to Remi.

  The following day was a Friday, and it was the day Olisa was leaving for Nigeria. By then, Remi knew what her answer would be. If she chose to go back to Nigeria to continue her relationship with Olisa, she knew she could use the ticket she had on hand. You see, she had purchased a round trip ticket on her way to Berlin, instead of a one-way ticket. But she would not be using her ticket that day. As much as she struggled with this decision, Remi decided against calling Olisa to tell him her decision. She simply sent him a text message with the following words: I am staying in Berlin. Olisa did not reply.

  Remi had assumed that he would at least let her know he got her message, but Olisa was silent. In fact, his silence lasted for two weeks. In the meantime, life continued as normal for Remi and Kayode, and they continued with their wedding plans. Slowly but surely, thoughts of Olisa began to fade from Remi's mind. At least, she convinced herself that she would forget him. She decided that it was wise to move on with her life, and she devoted all her energy to doing just that.

  But one day, out of the blues, Olisa sent Remi an e-mail. It was exactly two weeks after he left Berlin. Remi was on her way back home after class when she checked her e-mail messages on her phone, a routine daily habit. She was about to delete an e-mail with the subject line "It's not over," when she saw the name of the sender: Olisa K. Adigwe. Remi nervously opened the message and read it almost breathlessly. It was a very long letter, and she sat down on a park bench to read it. She read the letter three times, and each time she asked herself if she was dreaming. Was this man serious?

  It had taken Olisa several days to collect his thoughts together before he sat down to compose that e-mail. He had never stopped thinking about Remi since he left Berlin. The silence on his part was self-enforced by all the strength he could muster because Olisa did not believe in forcing a person to change her mind. He believed that where emotions and logic collided, logic usually prevailed in the heart of a wise person. Olisa considered Remi to be wise and took her one-line response to be evidence that she had made a logical decision. He had returned to Nigeria with every intention of moving on with his life, but as the days dragged on, there was something that became increasingly clear to him: he could not stand to be away from Remi. In fact, being away from her actually increased his fondness for her. Countless times he had picked up his phone to dial her number or send her a text. But Olisa was a creature of habit. He had a bad habit of giving problems just "one-shot." The every-effort doctrine was not part of his personal mantra. That day on the beach with Remi, he had made his case and given his relationship with her the "one-shot."

  Something strange happened to him when he got back to Nigeria. He began to re-think his decision to leave Remi alone, to respect her wishes. The "one-shot" rule began to look more like a sign of weakness than a wise principle. The thought that kept recurring to him was that he had to fight for what he wanted, and that fighting meant giving more than one shot. Finally, on a Saturday morning, after a long drawn-out battle with himself, he decided to put this new principle into practice. He felt that Remi would be reluctant to answer her phone or reply his texts, so he resorted to a less direct method to communicate his thoughts to her: e-mail. She had told him several times before that the only e-mails she ever deleted were those unsolicited marketing ones. She pretty much kept everything else. With this in mind, Olisa carefully composed his first letter to Remi.

  He started out explaining to her why he never called or texted or communicated with her after receiving notice of her decision. He went on to assure her that he had no intention of hurting her and that he desired her total happiness. Love, true love, he said, was something most people never experienced in their lifetimes. Life was too short to play games and he certainly did not want to start at this stage. His feelings for her were genuine, and he had never felt this way about anyone else, not even Amaka. As far as he was concerned, he told Remi, she was his soul-mate and that if she searched her heart, she would come to the same conclusion about him.

  Remi received Olisa's letter with mixed feelings. She was thrilled to hear from him, but she was also alarmed at the fact that she was so ready to forgive him and welcome him back into her life. Had she not made a firm decision to go all the way with Kayode? What did this double-mindedness say about her ability to commit to a relationship with anybody? Remi convinced herself that Olisa was not just anybody; he was a true friend. An irreplaceable friend. As long as Remi put the "friend tag" on Olisa, she felt less guilty about carrying on this friendship with him without Kayode's knowledge. Furthermore, she reasoned, she was sure that Kayode had female friends, maybe even ex-girlfriends whom he kept in touch with, even though she still had no positive proofs of this. What she was doing with Olisa was just keeping in touch with a friend, nothing more. Remi told herself this over and over again, that she actually believed it. So, she sent an overjoyed Olisa a reply expressing her happiness at receiving his e-mail and indicating her interest in remaining friends with him. Olisa did not care what label Remi put on their relationship. As long as he was communicating with her, he felt he still had a chance at winning her heart and claiming her as his prize. That was how they both began to write to each other every single day for the next five weeks.

  The words they wrote to each other bound them together more tightly than ever before. These letters bridged the physical distance between these two people and without realizing it, each fell deeper and deeper in love with the other. Remi woke up with Olisa on her mind every morning and Olisa's mind was filled with thoughts of Remi almost every minute he was awake. Every time Remi replied Olisa's e-mail, she assuaged her guilty conscience by telling herself that they were just friends. And since neither of them mentioned Kayode or the upcoming wedding in these letters, reality was kept at bay. They both created and kept his fantasy world alive, where the only two people that mattered were Remi and Olisa. Everything and everyone else who threatened to disturb the artificial peace in this world was promptly blocked out. That included Amaka, and Kayode.

  Since Remi di
scovered Kayode's journal, she began to look at him more closely. It was after that discovery that she noticed the pronounced changes in his behavior towards her. He was decidedly warmer, friendlier and made deliberate efforts to make her happy. But Kayode's re-birth came rather late as Remi was wrapped up in her deepening relationship with Olisa.

  This entire time, Remi was still planning the wedding with Kayode supporting her all the way. It seemed contradictory that she was still planning to marry Kayode when her heart belonged to Olisa. But Remi kept up with it. The days rolled into weeks, and eventually five weeks passed. It was now roughly one week to the wedding.

  On a Saturday afternoon, Remi and Kayode were treated to a surprise engagement party organized by Kayode's friends. They had both gone to the house of one of his friends, for what they thought was his birthday party. But when they arrived there, they were shocked to find out that they were the guests of honor. Amidst all the festivities and drinking, Remi forgot her cell phone at this friend's house. She, of course, did not realize that her phone was missing until they got