Forever Country

CHAPTER TWO

  Abel

  Thanksgiving Day is just like I remember it as a child. Momma’s in the kitchen, fussing over piecrust that isn’t rolling out right, and Pops is sitting at the bar and laughing at her.

  “Bud, if you think you can do it better, go right on ahead.” 

  “Nelly, it’s gonna be delicious. Just slap it on there, we’re gonna cut it soon anyway.”

  She places her hands on her hips. The look on her face says exactly what she is thinking.

  He stands up and laughs. “Don’t be gettin’ your panties in a bunch. I’m just sayin’ it’s gonna be delicious and frankly, I don’t care what the pie looks like.” 

  Did I just hear him right? “Pops, did you just say, ‘panties in a bunch’?”

  Everyone in the room starts laughing, including Momma. 

  Momma tries not to laugh but swats the dishrag at Pops. “Go on and git outta here.” 

  “Belle, I’m just saying, purdy or not, your pies are the tastiest around.” 

  I think I see Momma blush. Pops leaves and takes a handful of walnuts with him. Yep, just like ole times.

  Just because it’s Thanksgiving doesn’t mean it’s a day off on the farm. We still have work to do, and Levi is here helping. Mia and Mom stay in the house, and Pops, Levi, and I cut more firewood and feed the animals.

  When that’s all done, Pops hooks up the wagon to the tractor.

  “What’s up?” I ask. I’m not really sure what he has in mind.

  “Let’s surprise the girls with a Christmas tree.” Dad sits on the tractor and looks back at Levi and me.

  I look at Dad and then at Levi. “Will a live tree last that long?” 

  Levi answers, “It will. It helps to cut off an inch from the bottom once in a while and to always keep the tree in water. It won’t be in the best shape in a month, but Momma and Mia like to put them up early.” He looks and smiles and me. “Mia will love that, let’s go.” Levi walks into the barn and comes out with a chainsaw and a hacksaw. I watch as he jumps on the wagon.

  “Whatcha waitin’ on? You move like you got molasses in your britches.”

  Do people really talk like that? “I’m coming.” I shake my head and pray this is one saying I won’t remember.

  Pops follows the trail leading to the back part of the property. When we get to the pine trees, he stops and shuts off the tractor. Levi and I follow him and I am once again reminded of my childhood. This is truly country living.

  “Pick a tree, Abel,” Pops says, looking around.

  I try to remember the rules to follow for selecting a live tree. They look smaller in the open field than they really are. Measure it next to you, and try to wrap your arms around it. I walk around the area with the spruce pines until I find the perfect one.

  “Here it is.” 

  Pops walks over and looks at the tree. “This one right here?” 

  “Perfect height, perfect width, makes for a perfect Christmas tree.” 

  Levi hands me the saw. “Cut her down.” 

  I forgot about that part. Pine needles can be very prickly.

  Once we get Momma a tree, and Mia and Levi a tree, we also decide to cut a couple extras. One for the church, and I cut one down for Savannah Mae. Not sure she needs it, but you never know. We’ll have it just in case.

  Dinner is delicious and the piecrust looks like a raggedy patchwork quilt. But just as Pops said, it’s delicious. No one says anything about the way the pies look, but everyone raves about the delicious taste. I have no idea how she does it, but the crust melts in your mouth. 

  No one talks about the murder of Megan Rose, although I know it’s on everyone’s mind.

  After dinner, we all help with the cleanup. While we guys put the tree in the stand, Momma and Mia divide the leftover food up into containers. Momma still uses the same ole Christmas decorations she used when I was home, over ten years ago. I shouldn’t be surprised. Once the tree is decorated, Levi and Mia leave. I shower and go to bed. I’m whooped. I mean, I’m beat. Man, I’m turning into a country hick.

  Savannah Mae

  Everyone in town is talkin’ about Megan Rose. The killer is still at large, and the details of her death still remain a secret. I don’t ask and I try hard not to engage in the conversation about her demise. There’s a sayin’ — “Ignorance is bliss” — that I firmly believe applies to cases like this.

  Today is her funeral service and I imagine everyone in town will be there. The church is small, but that’s where the service will take place. Burial will be in the cemetery behind the church. Sawyer Jackson and I dress in our Sunday clothes and walk to the church for the service. Cars are lined up from one end of the road to the other. One advantage of livin’ in a small village is you’re walkin’ distance to everything.

  I feel sad when I see Megan Rose’s parents talkin’ to the funeral director. I sent flowers and a personal note, but I didn’t do anything else. I knew her, so maybe I should have gone over to her house and spoken with her parents. When someone dies, it’s hard to know the right thing to do or say.

  Sawyer Jackson and I walk up to the closed casket, and I have to wonder if the rumors are true about her death. Someone said that she was unrecognizable when they found her. I shiver at the thought. I see a large, beautiful framed picture of her taken during happier times. To the left of the casket are several collages of pictures. Some are of her alone, some are of her and her boyfriend, and some are of her with her parents and friends.

  Sawyer Jackson whispers, “Is she in heaven?”

  “Yes, Buddy, she is.”

  I speak briefly to Megan Rose’s mom and dad and then to her boyfriend before I take a seat in the back of the room. The line leading to the casket is long, but it moves quickly. I see Ethan come in with Heather Sue. I stiffen. I knew they were together, but I haven’t actually seen them together.

  “There’s Daddy!” Sawyer Jackson says excitedly. “Can I go see him?” he asks as he hops up from his chair and runs over to Ethan.

  I watch as he makes his way through the full church to the end of the line. Ethan ruffles Sawyer Jackson’s hair, and Heather Sue looks back at me and smiles. I don’t return the homewrecker’s smile.

  Nelly, Bud, Mia, Levi, and Abel Lee arrive next. Now, I smile. Abel Lee sees me, but he continues to look around the room. When he sees Sawyer Jackson, he excuses himself from his family and walks over to me.

  “Is this seat taken?”

  “Only by my son.”

  “Good, I’ll sit here until he returns.”

  I lean in and whisper, “You don’t want to pay your respects?”

  “I sent flowers. I really didn’t know her or her family.”

  I watch as he looks around the room. He stares at Megan Rose’s boyfriend, who is standing near the casket with her parents.

  “He was her boyfriend,” I whisper.

  Abel Lee only nods.

  Sawyer Jackson comes back and sits on my lap. Abel Lee doesn’t leave. I’m glad that he sits with us throughout the service. After the funeral and lunch at the church with the surviving family members, we say our goodbyes.

  Thanksgiving was last week and I still don’t have a Christmas tree. I told Sawyer Jackson that after Thanksgiving we would put a tree up. I guess I didn’t realize how much they were. I keep prayin’ for a good night in tips, but everyone’s pinchin’ pennies this time of year. I try not to think about money, but when you don’t have the money for bills and food, it’s all I can think about.

  Tonight at work, Ethan came into the diner with our son. He gave me some more money and said the sales of the furniture have been consistent. I hate to take his money, but I have no choice. When we divorced, we divorced on sort of good terms. I didn’t go after child support, and he vowed to help me as much as he could. We both love Sawyer Jackson more than life, so I have no doubt this arrangement will continue to work. We brought him into this world lovingly
, and we’ll raise him with just as much love. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m his only parent.

  Just before closin’ time, Abel Lee comes into the diner. He’s the last customer and offers to leave so we wouldn’t have to stay.

  “Get in here. We still have plenty of work to keep us busy while you eat.” I wave him into the empty restaurant. 

  “I don’t want to keep you,” he says, removin’ his cowboy hat.

  “Sit at the counter so I can talk to you while I do my side work.” I pat the counter top so he knows I’m serious. If he were anyone else, I would let him sit anywhere he wanted.

  He reluctantly takes a seat and asks, “Are you sure?” 

  “Yes, I’m positive.” I hand him the menu. “Because it’s so late, we don’t have any specials left.” 

  He browses the menu and smiles. “I really just want a big ole greasy cheeseburger and some steak fries.”

  “Now that, I can get for ya.” 

  “With a Coke?” 

  “Comin’ right up.” 

  We talk about the holidays and laugh about old times. He was a few grades ahead of me in school, but we know a lot of the same people. He says he’s been away trying to find himself and realized when he came back home, that maybe he lost himself along the way. 

  “Sadly, I know what you mean.”

  He lays his hamburger down and looks at me. “Really? You seem to be really put together.” 

  I can’t look him in the eye, I stare at the counter. “Looks are quite deceivin’.” 

  He pays his bill and leaves while I’m in the back. When I get to the counter to clear his glass and napkin, there is a hundred-dollar bill on the paper place setting.

  I hear, “Looks like someone has an admirer.”

  I look over my shoulder; Bill is refillin’ his drink. Bill has been the cook here ever since I can remember.

  “I’ll be right back.” I make a dash for the door and hope Abel Lee is still within hollerin’ distance. I’m happy when I see him openin’ his truck door.

  “Hold up,” I yell, wavin’ the hundred-dollar bill in the air. He pauses and waits for me to catch up with him. “What’s this?” I demand. 

  “Your tip.” He looks confused.

  I try to soften my scowl. “I can’t take this!” 

  He looks at me and I think I see hurt and sadness in his big brown eyes. “Savannah Mae, it’s just a tip. It’s not a big deal.” 

  I take a step closer and say, “This is not just a tip. It’s way too much.” I slip the money into his open hand. “Thank you, but I honestly can’t take it.” I want to explain that this is an insult, but I don’t. I’m hurt that he even did this.

  He watches me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any harm.”

  “It’s okay.” I try to smile. “Don’t do it again.” I turn and walk away, leavin’ him standin’ near his truck.

  I prayed to God for good tips, but I don’t want a tip I didn’t earn.

  Abel

  I stand at Pop’s truck I borrowed, holding the money I left Savannah Mae for her tip. I watch her walk into the diner. My mouth hangs open and I’m speechless. I swear, I only had good intentions. Now I feel as though I’ve offended her. That was never my intent. I just wanted to lighten her load a little for the holidays. I pull my truck around back and park beside her car. I need to clear this up. But how? “Sorry, I never meant to insinuate you couldn’t make it on your own.” Or, “Sorry, I didn’t mean for this to look like a handout.” I’m such an idiot! 

  From the pickup I watch as she and the cook lock up and exit the back door of the diner. I get out of my truck and lean against the truck bed waiting for her. The cook sees me first. He whispers something to her and she nods. I hear her say, “It’s okay, you can leave.” 

  Still leaning against the pickup, I watch as he cautiously walks to his truck and drives away.

  “I thought you would be home by now.” She pulls out her keys and unlocks her car door. 

  I push off from the truck and stand taller than I normally would. “Not until I resolve this misunderstanding.” I slowly walk towards her, almost expecting for her to hit me. If she did, I’d have to say that I was deserving of it.

  She leans against her car and pulls her coat tighter around her. “You think this is a misunderstanding, Abel?” 

  She called me Abel. I think she’s mad. She only calls me Abel Lee. “I do. I thought I left you a one-dollar bill.” I crack a smile, but quickly try to hide it.

  She giggles and her smile lights up her face. “You did not.” 

  I want to say I did, too, but it would be a lie. “I wish I did, but I didn’t. I didn’t mean to insult you either. I was just trying to help you.” 

  “By giving me money I didn’t earn?” 

  I watch her and I want her to understand. “By trying to do something nice for you.”

  “Abel, some people might like and appreciate a tip like that. But to me, it’s an insult. Almost like a handout.” She stops, and I give her a minute. I think about what she is saying. “If you want to do something nice for me, bring me flowers, or bring me firewood, or buy me a drink or something.” 

  “Really? Firewood?” I want to laugh, but I want to smooth this over more.

  She smiles and it makes me smile. “Maybe not firewood.” She thinks for a minute and says, “Coffee would be nice. A normal tip would be nice. A slightly bigger than normal tip would be nice. Polite conversation might also be nice.” 

  I hold up my hand in surrender. “Okay, I get it.” 

  “Do you?” 

  “Yes, I do, and I’m sorry,” I say, honestly.

  “Good, apology accepted. Abel Lee, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get my son from his daddy’s.” 

  I hold her car door open and she smiles as she gets into her car.

  “Be careful driving home.” 

  She replies, “I will, thank you.” 

  I watch as she drives off and I think about what she said. Bring me firewood or coffee. I get in my truck and drive past her house. The street is sparsely decorated with Christmas lights. Some homes have their Christmas trees in the front windows. Savannah Mae’s house is dark. No lights, no electric candles burning in the front windows, and no Christmas wreath on the front door. I drive by, looking in her window, and I can’t see a tree. Her house is small and I have a good view of the entire living room. I know what to do, so I drive to the farm.

  Savannah Mae

  After I pick up Sawyer Jackson, I pull up at my house and I’m surprised to see Abel Lee sittin’ on the wooden rocker. I get out of the car as he walks off of the front porch.

  “Hi,” I finally say as I open the passenger side door to get a sleepin’ Sawyer Jackson out.

  Abel Lee is right behind me, looking into the car. “I’ll get him for you.” 

  Steppin’ out of the way, I wait for him to unfasten the seatbelt. I watch as he carefully picks my son up.

  “Thank you.” I close and lock the car door behind us. 

  We both remain quiet, careful to not wake Sawyer Jackson as we walk into my house. Abel Lee follows me and I lead the way to Sawyer Jackson’s room. I pull the Thomas the Train covers back and watch as Abel Lee gently lays my son on his bed. Once his coat and slippers are removed, I kiss him and pull the covers up to his waist, the way he likes it.

  Abel Lee is leaning against the doorframe, watching. I follow him out into the livin’ room. “What brings you here?” 

  “I forgot to tip you.” I can see a hint of a smile on his lips.

  “Are you back to that again?” I walk into the kitchen. “Can I get you something to drink?” 

  “No, I’m okay. I have to run out to the truck, I’ll just be a minute.” 

  Before I fill the glass with water, he’s gone. I walk to the front door and watch in surprise as he removes a live Christmas tree from the b
ed of his pickup. He is wearin’ a grin of a five-year-old. I have to smile as I open the door as wide as I can for him and for the tree. He holds the tree up in the middle of the living room floor.

  “What in the dickens is that?” 

  He smiles, revealing that single dimple in his cheek. “Savannah Mae, that is called a Christmas tree. See the long pine needles.” 

  I have to laugh. “Abel Lee, I know it’s a Christmas tree, but what is it doin’ in my house?” 

  “It’s your tip.” He smiles even bigger, revealin’ a beautiful boyish grin. “You said to bring you firewood or coffee. I had one of these lying around the barn and thought you and Sawyer Jackson could use it.” 

  I cross my arms over my chest. “You just so happen to have a tree in the barn you weren’t usin’?” 

  “Sure did.” 

  “Abel Lee, does your Momma know you be tellin’ lies?” 

  He places his hands over his heart and acts as if he’s wounded. “Savannah Mae, did you just call me a liar?” 

  I try to hide my toothy smile. “I may be from the country, but I ain’t plumb dumb.” 

  “Whoa, I never thought you were.” He readjusts the tree and says, “On Thanksgiving, we cut a few trees, one for us, one for the church, and this one here is for you and Sawyer Jackson.”

  “Really?” I tilt my head and squint my eyes. 

  “Really.” 

  I smile. “In that case, I reckon you should put it over there.” I point to the area between the window and the fireplace. 

  I get the tree stand from the basement and the tree fits in it perfectly. Abel Lee and his daddy even had the bottom of the tree cut and trimmed to make it fit into a tree stand. He holds it in the corner and looks at me. “Here?” 

  “Nope, it’s crooked. Turn it again.” 

  He lifts the tree and turns it. “Here?” 

  I pretend to be inspecting the tree. I raise my hand and twirl my index finger around to indicate he needs to spin the tree again. “Nope, bare spot.” 

  He repeats his action and turns the tree before settin’ it down again. “Here?” He leans back to try to get a view of the tree.

  “Nope, spin it again.” 

  He looks at me and then the tree. He looks at me again and says, “Savannah Mae, are you pulling my leg?” 

  I laugh out loud. “Nope.” 

  Smilin’, he sets the tree down and walks over to where I’m standin’.

  “It looks pretty good to me. Are you sure it’s uneven?” 

  I tilt my head side to side. “Musta been seein’ things, it looks pretty good now.” 

  He turns to look at me. “Savannah Mae, do you lie to your momma with that mouth?” 

  “Abel Lee,” I laugh, “there’s a big difference between a lie and a…” 

  “White lie?” he interrupts, laughin’.

  “No, I was going to say fib.” 

  “Same difference.” 

  Abel Lee builds a fire in the fireplace. He also offers to stay and make sure the Christmas lights from last year still work. They do. He also helps me carry up the boxes of decorations from the basement.

  “Sawyer Jackson is gonna be so excited about this. Thank you so much.” 

  “You’re welcome.”

  I stand beside him and admire the tree. “It fits that corner perfectly.” 

  “I need to get going. Momma won’t be happy with me keeping a beautiful woman up this late.” 

  I feel the heat rise to my cheeks. I walk him to the door. “Then you shouldn’t disappoint your momma.” 

  “Good night, Savannah Mae.” 

  “Thank you again, and good night, Abel Lee.” 

  Abel

  I go home and think about Savannah Mae. In fact, she’s all I can think about. When she was telling me to adjust the tree, I could see the mischief in her eyes. She’s beautiful. I haven’t allowed myself to have a serious romantic relationship since college. I couldn’t. Not after what happened. I push those memories aside and try to think of something else. Nothing else comes to my mind but beautiful, sweet Savannah Mae.

  Momma is in the kitchen making food for the community meal at the church. She is making a huge pot of beef stew and some homemade biscuits.

  “Something hot and hearty will sure make some people mighty happy,” Pops says, sampling the stew from the pot. 

  “Bud, don’t,” Momma says, swatting Pops’ hands away.

  He laughs and drops the empty spoon in the sink. Mia pulls the last tray of biscuits out of the oven. Once they are cool, she’ll place them with the others in the wicker breadbasket.

  Momma stirs the pot one last time, before turning off the stove. “Levi, would you go to the basement and get that box of hats, scarves, and mittens.” 

  “What are you going to do with those?” I ask. I watch as Momma removes her Christmas apron.

  “Been buyin’ ’em at Goodwill and other thrift shops, all year. Thought the good people of the church could use ’em.” 

  My momma, who doesn’t spend the money I give her, shops at Goodwill for the needy. She cooks and donates her time for the sake of the community. I feel so blessed to have been raised by this woman, but I wonder where I went wrong. Have I even thought about homeless people or starving people since I left? I have made millions in my boxing career, and what have I done with it? Nothing. Banked it and invested it. I surely didn’t give it to the church, or to the schools, or give it to any worthy causes. Did Momma’s goodness and kindness skip me? Did Levi get the good genes from my family? God, I hope not.

  “We best be leavin’ or we’ll be late,” Momma says, gathering the large basket of hot biscuits. 

  The truck is loaded down with the Christmas tree, a few boxes of decorations, and the food.

  We arrive at the church and there are just as many people there as were here two weeks ago. Savannah Mae and her son are already here.

  Sawyer Jackson runs up to me and jumps excitedly. “Thank you for the Christmas tree. It’s really, really big,” he says as he tries to show me with his hands how tall and wide the tree is. He is wearing a red Santa’s hat, his cheeks are rosy, and his smile lights up his green eyes.

  “You’re welcome, Buddy. Did you get it decorated?” I follow behind him into the building. 

  “Sure did with the different color lights. It looks berry good.” 

  “Good, I’m glad.” Savannah Mae is standing at the doorway with her arms folded across her chest. Our eyes meet and I can’t look away. Her long blond hair is in a high ponytail. She is wearing jeans, a red and white flannel shirt, and a pair of rubber duck boots graces her body. Nothing fancy, but she sure does look good in it. As we approach the door, she takes a step back.

  “He’s a little excited about the tree, I see.” 

  “A little? He’s berry excited about the tree,” she teases, using his own words.

  We quickly set the food out, and Pops and I put the tree in the corner of the room. Sawyer Jackson helps and scoots the boxes of decorations nearest the tree. I watch everyone as they line up for their hot meal. It smells delicious. Savannah Mae brought a large pot of white rice to go with the beef stew, and some assorted cookies for dessert. As soon as the last person gets their plate, we all fill our plates and sit down to eat. Just like last week, there is plenty of food for everyone.

  I take the last seat; it’s beside Larry and an older woman named Pearl. Pops and Momma are sitting across from us. Everyone raves about the food and is very appreciative.

  “I found some things lyin’ around the house I thought you might be able to use,” Momma says, taking a bite of her rice and stew. 

  Pearl sits up a little straighter. “Miss Nelly, you do so much for us already.” Her skin is discolored and it almost looks transparent in some places. 

  “Oh, fiddlesticks. It’s not much and there’s no sense in havin?
?? things just layin’ around the house, when someone could be gettin’ some good use out of them.” Even Momma tells a fib every now and then. She bought those items; they weren’t just sitting around the house. Well, maybe she didn’t tell a fib — after she bought them, they were sitting around the house.

  “Miss Nelly, we sure do appreciate your kindness. You and Mr. Bud, you both are such good people.” 

  Pops says, “God is very good to us and in return, it’s only fair that we help others. We can only do what He allows us to do.” 

  And just like that, it hits me. I know what I need to do. We finish eating, clean up, and decorate the tree with lights and ornaments. Savannah Mae and everyone sings Christmas carols. It brings a smile to everyone’s face. A smile is still a smile, no matter how temporary it is.

  “Would you mind if I come over tonight? I have an idea about the people who attend the community supper, and I wanted to see what you thought,” I whisper to Savannah Mae.

  She looks at me with concern. “Is everything all right?” 

  “It’s fine.” I scan the room and watch Sawyer Jackson as Larry makes him a snowman from balloons. “I just want to get your input on something, and see what you thought.” 

  “Sure, Sawyer Jackson goes to bed at 8:00. You can come over whenever you want. You sure you’re all right?” 

  “I’m fine, I’ll see you around 9:00.” 

  “I’ll make some coffee.” 

  I arrive at Savannah’s just before 9:00. When I enter her house, I smell the coffee she promised. The lights are dim, the fireplace has fresh logs burning, and the tree is lit with all sorts of colorful lights. A few candles are lit on the stone mantel.

  I sit down and excitedly share my ideas with Savannah Mae.

  “Abel Lee, I mean no disrespect, but where is this money comin’ from? You ain’t dealin’ no drugs, are ya?” 

  I hide the laugh that threatens to come from deep down. “No, I don’t sell drugs and I’ve never done drugs. I’m a retired boxer. I invested my money over the years.” I have millions and I want to do this. I’m not sure she would be able to comprehend the amount of money that I am actually worth. For a long time, I didn’t either. Early in my career, but after I had started to make big money, I called my accountant and told her to bring my money over so I could see it and be sure it’s real. She had to explain to me that it was invested. Also, that it would take several suitcases to carry that much money, assuming that a standard attaché case can hold approximately $1.2 million in $100 bills. Too bad. Too often, savings and investments are just electrons on a computer screen. Until I got used to that, I wanted something I can see. “This is something I want to do. I just wanted to see if you thought it was a good idea.” 

  “I think it’s a great idea.” 

  I set my empty coffee cup down on the cork coaster. “So you’ll help me?” 

  She smiles and mocks my movement. Leaning up on the edge of the couch, she clasps her hands together. “I’ll do whatever I can.” 

  Savannah Mae

  I meet up with Abel Lee, Nelly, and Mia at K-Mart in South Zanesville. Bud and Levi made some excuse why they couldn’t come. Everyone is excited and in a good mood. “Nothin’ like spendin’ other people’s money, huh, Abel?” 

  He looks at Mia and she smiles. “As long as it’s for the benefit of the cause.” He slides Mia a shopping cart and she excitedly takes it. Nelly takes a cart, I take a cart, and Abel Lee takes two. We all have our lists and go in different directions in the store. I watch as Abel goes to the customers help desk in the front of the store.

  I get everything on my list, but I’m concerned if it’s correct. I double-check it and it’s right. I shop for a few other items from the list and soon my cart is overflowin’. I head towards the front of the store where Mia and Nelly are standin’. Some full carts are lined up along the wall. “This seems like a lot of stuff,” I say as the employee takes my cart from me and pushes it next to the other ones.

  “Does he have enough to pay for all of this?” Mia whispers.

  Nelly laughs softly, “I hope so. This will be mighty embarrassin’ if he doesn’t.” 

  “Where is Abel Lee, anyway?” I look around and I don’t see him. 

  The manager smiles and says, “He’s finishing up in layaway.” 

  We wait and soon he comes up with a few employees at his side. His mother asks, “How are we goin’ to get this stuff home? I didn’t realize how much we were gettin.’” 

  “We’ll be delivering everything,” the store manager clarifies. 

  “Since when does K-Mart deliver?” Mia asks. 

  No one answers. We wait while everything gets rung up and Abel Lee pays for the entire purchase with one swipe of his credit card. It is a black credit card, and I didn’t even know they came in that color. I can’t begin to imagine how much everything costs. “For the benefit of the cause,” he called it. I imagine he’ll be sleepin’ mighty good tonight. Helpin’ others always helps me to sleep better. The most important thing is not to hurt anyone, even unintentionally, but since none of us is perfect, we need to help other people in this world.

  “We’ll have everything delivered by 7:00 this evening. Someone will be at this address, correct?” The store manager has a huge grin on his face.

  “We’ll be there, thank you.” Abel Lee reaches his hand out for the manager’s. 

  “Thank you, Abel. You just made some kids very happy.” 

  I stop by the store before goin’ home. Helpin’ Abel Lee and his family to help others feels incredible. I can’t imagine being able to do something so generous, something of that magnitude. I know the small things I do to help others feel good, but to do what Abel Lee did today, I can’t even begin to imagine how good he feels. He’s a good guy, no doubt about that.

  After I check the mail, I open the gas bill and cringe. I hate the winter months. The heatin’ bills are higher than the mortgage on my small house. Even usin’ the wood-burnin’ fireplace, it’s outrageously high. Of course, I have to pay for the wood I burn. I also get a water bill and a personal letter. No return address, but I know it’s from my friend in Florida. Brea always sends me letters trying to bribe me to come down for a visit. If I had the money, I would visit her every chance I get.

  I smile as I tear open the notecard size envelope. I’m excited to see what kind of a bribe she’s posted this time. A picture of her toes in the sandy white beaches. A picture of her on the beach with a margarita in hand. It could be details of her trip to the Florida Keys. I’m happy she got away, but I miss her terribly. I read:

  Savannah,

  Watch out!

  I drop the card and watch it fall to the floor. I rub my arms with my hands to warm myself. The note isn’t what I expected, and it’s not from Brea. With the murder of Megan Rose, I have to wonder if this isn’t a warnin’ from the killer. Is it possible the small town of Rose Farm has a serial killer at large? I pick up the note and read it again. I flip it over, but there isn’t anything else written on it.

  It’s ridiculous to think it’s from a serial killer. My mind thinks about the people I know, and the people who know where I live. I have no enemies so who could it be from? Well, I do have one enemy — Heather Sue. She stole my husband, but what else does she want from me?

  As the weeks pass, so does the story and news about the murder of Megan Rose. I guess it’s best, especially in a small town like Rose Farm, to let that kind of story dissolve. I wonder about her killer and about her family. I’d like to think the family is healin’, and that the killer died a slow and painful death in some undisclosed location.

  Abel Lee

  Christmas Eve is on Wednesday this year. As always, it’s our night to work the community meal at the church. And just like Thanksgiving, Momma has prepared a Christmas feast for everyone. Pops slaughtered a couple hogs and a cow last week. We don’t cook the food at home this time; instead,
we prepare the food at the church. 

  Savannah Mae and Sawyer Jackson are already there when we arrive. Sawyer Jackson is sitting on a blanket in the middle of the floor playing with toys and books. A few board games are scattered about the blanket. Christmas music is playing from the corner of the room. Although it’s not home, it has a homey feel. 

  I help where I can, but I mostly stay out of the way and play with Sawyer Jackson. A few people arrive early and come in to get warm. Mia and Momma have the coffee pot ready for them. Mia also places some decorated Christmas cookies beside the large coffee carafe.

  “Savannah Mae had to leave, so would you mind keepin’ an eye on Sawyer Jackson?” Momma asks.

  “No problem.” 

  “Just make sure he doesn’t eat too many cookies.” She smiles and I follow her eyes to the cookie platter where Sawyer Jackson is standing.

  “This will be a job, won’t it?” 

  “Why do you think I asked you to watch him?” She looks over her shoulder and laughs. I get Sawyer Jackson away from the cookie tray and work on keeping him occupied with games and puzzles. A girl walks in and for a minute I think it’s Savannah Mae. It’s not. I’m introduced to her and learn it’s Savannah’s younger sister, Samantha Marie.

  “Aunt Sammie,” Sawyer Jackson yells, running up to her.

  People start coming in and I soon start recognizing they are from the local church. The preacher and his wife, Savannah Mae’s parents, and even the staff from Peaches Place show up. I fold Sawyer Jackson’s blanket and pick up his toys so people won’t have to walk around them. The rest of the Wednesday night regulars start coming in closer to suppertime.

  I see Savannah Mae when she comes in, and I nod at her. It looks like she’s looking for someone. She comes over and hands me some money.

  “What’s this?” 

  “Money for the layaway you paid for at Wal-Mart. I told you, I don’t need your handout.” She says sternly and she looks very upset. 

  “I didn’t pay for your layaway at Wal-Mart.” I carefully take her hand, with the money in it, and push it away from me.

  “Don’t lie to me.” 

  “Savannah Mae, when I tell you I didn’t pay for your layaway at Wal-Mart, I would hope that you would believe me.”

  “If you didn’t, then who did?” 

  “That would remain a mystery. I paid for the layaways at K-Mart the day we were in there. I have no idea who they were for. I was just trying to make sure that every child has a blessed Christmas. I didn’t pay for the Wal-Mart layaways. Someone else did that. Every Christmas, we read about anonymous Layaway Angels. Lots of Good Samaritans are named Anonymous.” 

  She watches me and her eyes become shiny; they glisten with unshed tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come off like that. I just don’t want anyone feelin’ sorry for us.”

  “No apology needed and I don’t feel sorry for you.”

  She leans into me. “I already overlooked one good deed.” 

  She must be talking about me paying her debt at the grocery store. “What good deed is that?” 

  “Abel Lee, don’t be actin’ like you didn’t pay for my groceries awhile back.” I just look at her without saying anything. “Thank you. That was mighty nice of you.” 

  “You’re welcome, Savannah Mae.” 

  “Doesn’t answer the question of who paid for my layaway? The woman working at Wal-Mart said all of the Christmas layaways that included toys have been paid for.” 

  I look down at her and smile. “Maybe it’s time to start believing in miracles.” 

  “Maybe you’re right.” 

  The preacher stands up and gives a small sermon before we eat Christmas Eve dinner. I sit with Savannah Mae and Sawyer Jackson. The preacher also reads the Christmas Story out of the Bible during dinner. It’s the real meaning of Christmas.

  We eat a hearty meal of ham, sweet potatoes, deviled eggs, green bean casserole, and homemade bread. This year, no one brought potato salad. Last year, Pops tells me, way too many families did. There is plenty of food and enough for seconds, and even thirds. After we eat, and after everything is cleaned up, Pops and the preacher stand up to get everyone’s attention.

  “We have a special treat for everyone this year,” Pops says humbly. “Santa came early and brought everyone blankets, socks, long johns, hats, mittens, scarves, coats, and a backpack full of personal items and food.” 

  There are smiles and excited chatter from everyone. Mia, Mom, Levi, Savannah Mae; her sister, Samantha Marie; and even Sawyer Jackson scatter the items that were in bags under the tree, around the tables, in front of everyone. They watch, but no one touches anything. 

  “Go ahead, these are for you,” Pops says. “Don’t be shy. There’s enough for everyone.” 

  I watch as Pearl cries into Larry’s shirt. “Are you sure?” Mark asks. 

  Momma walks over and says, “Yes, Santa wanted to make sure everyone was warm and well fed this winter. He also stocked the church with food.”

  “Oh, Nelly,” Pearl cries. She is unable to say anything else. I look away. I can’t watch. It pulls at my heartstrings to see so many people so appreciative of so little. 

  Savannah Mae comes over and leans into me. “You did this,” she whispers. “You made this happen. It’s almost magical to witness this.” 

  I watch as people start to gather their items and put them on. “I don’t think I have ever seen something so touching in my whole life. People are so humble and grateful to receive so little. No one should have to want to be warm, or to have food in their bellies. No one should have to want a bed to sleep in, or a roof over their head.”

  “People in these parts are very grateful and thankful. Sure would be nice if they all could find work.” Savannah Mae’s eyes are misty and she sniffles. “The secret to happiness for a lot of people is a steady paycheck.”

  I remember the old Rose Farm School sitting empty and I get an idea.

  I look around the room at the fifteen people who gathered into the kitchen of the church on Christmas Eve for a hot meal.

  “Abel Lee, we want to thank you for everything,” Pearl, the oldest woman present, says as she leans in to hug me.

  I return her hug. “You’re welcome, but how did you know it was me?”

  “I asked your Momma. I had to thank you personally.”

  I only nod. I wish Momma hadn’t said anything. Not much of a secret if everyone knows. “You’re very welcome, Miss Pearl. Did you get some things that you can use?”

  “Oh, Lord, did we! Everything we got, we can use.” I watch as she wipes her tears away. “Thank you. That was mighty kind of you to go out and do all this for us.”

  “Miss Pearl, it was my pleasure.” I smile and pat her on her hands. “We’ll help everyone get home tonight since you have a few extra items to carry.”

  She searches my eyes with a sad smile, before patting my cheeks with both of her hands. “Your Momma and Daddy sure did raise a nice boy. You and Levi both are mighty fine boys.”

  “Thank you, Miss Pearl. Pops and Momma wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone your secret,” she says and walks away slowly.

  Savannah Mae smiles and leans into me. “You know, what she said is right.”

  I laugh. “So, you think I’m a nice boy, too?”

  “I think you’re nice, and I think your Momma and Daddy raised both their sons to be good people.”

  I’m so happy she didn’t call me a boy. “Thank you.”

  “Just statin’ the facts.” She looks up at me and says, “I was meanin’ to ask ya, whatcha doin’ tomorrow night?”

  I look down at her. “It’s Christmas. I don’t guess I’ll be doing much of anything. Farm work and dinner with the family.” Should I invite her to dinner?

  She looks around the room. “Would you like to come over tomorrow night? S
awyer Jackson will be at his daddy’s, and I was thinkin’ maybe we can watch a movie, or something.” She looks away. “I mean, if you…”

  “I would love to,” I quickly say, before she changes her mind.

  She looks up and smiles. “Really?”

  “Yes, really.”

  “Good. I won’t be home from dinner from my folks until after 6:00 p.m. But anytime after that is good.”

  I quickly remember my manners. “I would bring pizza, but I don’t think anyplace will be open on Christmas day.”

  She looks up at me and I notice her beautiful blue eyes. “We can have leftovers if you get hungry. I need to get my boy home. I still have gifts to wrap before Santa comes.”

  Before we all leave, we make sure everyone has a ride home with all of their things. It makes me happy and sad to see some people are wearing their hats, coats, and mittens. I’m deeply happy they can use them, but it saddens me that they need to wear them now. As the Farmer’s Almanac had predicted, it is a mighty cold winter.

  Momma sent the leftover food home with whoever wanted it. Thankfully there was plenty for everyone to have something. Pops locks up and we head home. Mia and Levi will be over tomorrow for dinner and the family gift exchange. I know they’ll be there early to help with the preparation of the food.

  Before bed, Pops puts a few logs in the fireplace. “You’re not tired, Abel?” Pops asks as he takes a seat across from me in his recliner.

  I lean up from the couch and interlock my fingers. “I thought I would stay up a bit longer. I’m not far from bed myself.”

  “Got something on your mind, Son?”

  I nod, “I always have something on my mind.”

  “Well, spill it.”

  Taking a deep breath I say, “Savannah Mae asked me to come over tomorrow night.”

  “She’s a mighty fine girl. What’s the problem?”

  “It’s Christmas…”

  Pops interrupts. “And you don’t know if you should take her something for Christmas or not?”

  “Yeah, that’s right.”

  “Unless you have her something already bought, it’s too late to get her something now. Unless you go to a gas station and buy her beer nuts.”

  “I don’t think it’s right to just show up empty handed, or with beer nuts.” I crack my knuckles and suddenly feel strange talking to my Pops about this.

  “Is it a date?”

  “I don’t know.” I hope so. If it is, I hope to get more than one date with her. I don’t think beer nuts will do it.

  “Well, I guess if you’re lookin’ to impress her, you need to get to makin’ her somethin’.” He looks in the direction of his bedroom. “Your Momma might be the one you need to be talkin’ too. She’s mighty good when it comes to courtin’ a woman.” He chuckles. “She taught me everything I needed to know.”

  Momma comes out of the bedroom wearing a flannel robe and fuzzy slippers, carrying Christmas gifts. “Looks like you fellows are in deep conversation.” I watch as she makes her way to the tree.

  “Abel has a question for ya, Belle.”

  I look at Pops, and I’m suddenly embarrassed. He smiles and I want to rescind my question. Momma places the gifts under the tree. It’s Christmas and she is just now putting the gifts out like Santa brought them. Momma sits down and tells Pops to get the rest of the gifts. As soon as he disappears into the bedroom, she says, “What’s on your mind?”

  She is sitting beside me on the couch and is staring me in the eyes. I blink and look away. There’s something about the way she was looking at me, almost like she can read my thoughts. “Savannah Mae invited me over tomorrow night to watch a movie. I’m not sure if I should…”

  “Of course you should. You better not show up there empty handed. And if Sawyer Jackson’s gonna to be there, you’ll need to take him something, too.”

  “He’ll be at his daddy’s.” I look at her. “I have no idea what to bring her. It’s Christmas Eve.”

  Pops places the gifts under the tree, sits down, and watches the fire.

  “Well, you have until tomorrow to figure something out. You still play that guitar, serenade her.” She leans in and kisses me. “Good night, Abel.”

  “Good night, Momma.” I kiss her back and watch as she and Pops stand to go to bed. “Good night, Pops.”

  “Good night, Son.”

  I continue to sit by the fire and watch the blue flames dance around the wood. It sizzles, cracks, and pops. Serenade Savannah Mae? There must be something else I can do. When the fire dies down, I place another log in the fireplace. I look at the gifts under the tree and shake my head. My parents still play Santa Claus. Walking quietly into my bedroom, I get the envelopes I have for everyone and tie them to the tree. They won’t be happy with my gifts to them.

  The thoughts of Savannah Mae keep me awake. I throw on my Carhartt coat and grab a bottle of Budweiser from the fridge before heading outside. The night is cold and the clear sky is filled with stars. It’s a lot brighter out here since the barn light is fixed.

  I carry some firewood from the barn to the wrap-around porch. Serenade Savannah Mae? Really? There must be something else I can do for her. I hear the horse and walk over to feed her an apple. “Can’t sleep either, ole girl?” I pat her and she likes it. “You wanna go for a ride?” I search the barn for a saddle and bridle and saddle her up. It’s been awhile since I’ve been on a horse, but I’m pretty sure I can do this.

  We gallop in the direction of where we cut the pine trees on Thanksgiving. I stop to give the horse a rest and admire the quiet night. I remember when I was younger, I couldn’t wait to leave here. Now, I can’t remember why.

  When we get back to the barn, I brush the horse and put her away. “You got a name, girl?” I feed her an apple and head into the house.

  The next morning, I collect the eggs and feed the animals. Momma always has the coffee maker on automatic start for 5:00 a.m. Between the smell of coffee and the roosters crowing, there’s no chance of me, or anyone else, sleeping in.

  When I return from the morning chores, Momma and Pops are up and sitting at the kitchen table. The lights are all on in the house and it smells of food, even though it’s just getting to be dawn. Momma sees me and stands up from the table. “Merry Christmas, Abel.”

  Bending down to kiss her, I say, “Merry Christmas, Momma.”

  “It’s so good havin’ you home for the holidays.”

  “It’s good being home.”

  She turns to walk over to the stove and she removes something from the oven.

  I take the seat at the table across from Pops. “Couldn’t sleep last night?” he asks.

  “How did you know?”

  “I heard Bluebelle nickerin’. She must’ve been glad to see ya. Figured you were takin’ her for a ride.”

  I don’t think anything gets past him. “Bluebelle? You named a horse after Momma?”

  “Nope, Belle named her. I named Colonel. He’s a feisty stallion. Be careful ridin’ that one. He’s been known to buck your brother a few times.”

  “Bluebelle’s a sweet girl,” I admit.

  “She is,” Momma says as she lays a plate of sausage gravy and biscuits in front of me. “She’s sweeter than honey on a biscuit.”

  “Thank you,” I say, readjusting my plate of food.

  After breakfast, Pops and I go outside and cut some more firewood. “Have you decided what you’re gonna take to Savannah Mae’s?”

  “No idea.”

  “Serenadin’ her didn’t appeal to you?”

  I look at Pops and he’s grinning. Even he knows that’s old fashioned. “No, it didn’t.”

  “I hate to be the one to break this to ya, but you’re runnin’ out of time.”

  “I know.” I have an idea, but I can’t mention it to Pops. “Maybe Mia will know of something.”

  “I’m sure she’ll have some ideas for you.”

  After the firew
ood is cut and stacked, Pops goes into the house to shower. I walk into the barn to check on Colonel and Bluebelle. He’s neighing loudly and appears to be agitated. I walk over with an apple in an attempt to make nice. He takes the apple from me and raises his head high in an effort to dismiss me.

  Bluebelle walks over to me and nudges me with her nose. “Hey, girl, you miss me?” I feed her an apple and she eats from my hand. I pet her and she lets me. “You sure are a sweet girl.” I feed her and Colonel another apple before leaving.

  After a shower, I get ready for Christmas dinner. I offer to help Momma with dinner, but she shoos me out of the kitchen. I hear her fussing over the pies and Pops chuckles. He stands and walks into the kitchen.

  “I wouldn’t aggravate her.”

  Pops replies, “There’s nothin’ sexier than an aggravated Nelly. I wanna watch her fuss over her pies.”

  Nothing he just said made any sense. Since when is an aggravated woman sexy? I stay in the living room. Mia and Levi show up and place their gifts under the Christmas tree. Momma has Christmas music playing from the old stereo standing in the corner. I hug them both before Mia rushes off into the kitchen to help Momma.

  After dinner, we gather around the tree for our gift exchange. Pops hands out gifts, as Momma sits on the couch taking pictures. Mia and Levi get a family gift of bath towels, and an outfit each. Mia is excited and stands up to hold the white sweater next to her. I get a few pairs of Wrangler jeans, long johns, and a couple flannel shirts. I’m grateful to have some more clothes to wear.

  Mia and Levi pass out their gifts next. Momma and Pops insist there isn’t anything they need, and I think Mia looks hurt when they don’t want to accept their present.

  “It’s not much, please just open it,” she pleads. I watch, and Mia and Levi sit together on the couch holding hands.

  We all open the envelope, and it’s a baby announcement. I look at Mia and Levi and they are both grinning. The only thing filled out is the parents’ name. The baby’s name, weight, length, and date of birth are all left blank.

  Suddenly, I hear Momma squeal with excitement. “A baby?”

  Mia nods. Her long blond ponytail is bouncing with every nod.

  “Oh, my word, a grandbaby?” Momma asks again.

  “Yep.” Mia stands and Levi looks proud. He also stands and puffs his chest out further than usual.

  I lay the unopened gift on the floor and rise to congratulate the expectant couple. When Momma and Pops are finished hugging them, I congratulate them both. “This is good news.” I never wanted children, and I never wanted a wife either. But for my brother, a family suits him. He is smiling and I know this is something that he wants.

  “You’re gonna be an uncle,” Mia informs me.

  “I guess I am. Do we know when?”

  “On or around June 30th.”

  We finish opening our gifts and I stand and remove the two envelopes from the tree. I hand Mom and Pops one, before handing Levi and Mia one.

  As soon as I sit down, Momma says, “Abel, if this is money…”

  I interrupt. “It’s not.” I know from past experience that they won’t accept money from me. “Please, just open it.” I brace myself for an onslaught of yelling, but it doesn’t come.

  “Abel…” Mia begins to say and stops. I look at her and Levi and they are both looking at the paper that was in the envelope. I slowly look over at Momma and Pops. He takes the paper from Momma’s hands and reads it.

  “Abel, how did you get the deed to our house?” Mia asks.

  I rub my hands together and take a deep breath. “I wanted to do something nice for everyone.” I let that sink it, before saying anything else.

  “You paid off the farm?” Pops asks.

  “I did.”

  “Bro, you paid off our house?” Levi asks, and he sounds happy and excited.

  Finally, someone appreciates my gesture. I look at him and smile, but my smile fades quickly when I see the scowl on Mia’s face. Suddenly, I feel the need to protect myself. I stand up so I have an advantage. “Look, before you say anything.” I take a deep breath and continue, “Please, I just wanted to do something nice for the people I love the most in this world.”

  “Abel, this is too much. We can’t let you pay off our house.” Mia thinks for the right words to say. “You can’t just go around payin’ off people’s mortgages.”

  I did. I want to chuckle because it was really quite easy to do. The bank was eager to take my money. But I don’t chuckle, and I don’t say that the bank was eager to take my money. “Since I’ve been home, I see what you…” I look at Mia and then look to Levi, Pops, and Momma and then say, “You donate food to the church to give away. You even donate Sugar-Frosted Flakes because you know that kids like Sugar-Frosted Flakes.” I look at Momma and say, “I sent money home to help you, and you refused to take it. I want to assist you so you can continue to help others.” I look at Pops and then at Momma. “This gift is for me as much as it is for you. I want to do this for you… for all of you. Please, don’t take that away from me.”

  The room goes quiet and I walk towards the fireplace. “Thank you, Abel,” Momma says. I watch as she and Pops stand and walk over to me. I think I see tears in Momma’s eyes. I hug her. “Thank you,” she whispers.

  “You’re welcome, Momma.”

  “Thank you, Son,” Pops says. I hug him next and then Mia.

  “Abel, you have more money than you know what to do with,” she says, standing on her tiptoes to hug me. “This is really nice, especially with a baby on the way. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, Mia. There isn’t anything I won’t do for junior.” I hold back the laugh that threatens to come.

  “Don’t start that, Abel Lee. There’ll be no juniors in this house.”

  She backs away and Levi hugs me next. “Bro, you paid off the house.”

  I want to laugh, but I smile instead. “You’re welcome, Levi.”

  “Thanks, Bro.”

  Pops speaks up and says, “I have one more gift. Abel, can you give me a hand?”

  “Sure.”

  “Stay here,” he tells Mia, Levi, and Momma. Momma smiles — she knows what the gift is.

  I follow him to the barn and help carry the heavy, unwrapped, cardboard box into the house. He sets the present in front of Mia and Levi. “Belle and I bought this a few weeks ago. We knew we would need it one day, we just didn’t know we would need it so soon.”

  Mia and Levi open the cardboard box and reveals a handmade, wooden cradle with spindle sides. “Oh, my goodness,” Mia says, holding her hand to her mouth. “This is gorgeous.”

  I learn that Savannah Mae’s ex-husband and father-in-law made the cradle. After checking out the cradle, I realize it’s top quality workmanship. I gently swing it back and forth, and I wonder if Savannah Mae had one for Sawyer Jackson.

  When Mia and Levi leave, I remember that I didn’t ask Mia what I should do about meeting Savannah Mae. I decide to go with my first plan.

  Savannah Mae

  “Why you rushin’ off?” My dad stands from the couch.

  “I just wanna get home and clean up. It’s still a mess from this mornin’.”

  “You sure that’s the only reason?”

  “Yes, Daddy. I need to drop Sawyer Jackson off at Ethan’s, then I’m headin’ home.”

  “It’s not like you to be in such a hurry on a holiday.”

  Mom is standin’ next to Daddy and my sister, Samantha Marie, is placin’ ear buds into her ears so she can listen to some music. “I know, I’m sorry. You didn’t see the condition I left my house in.”

  “Okay, I understand. Call us if you need anything.”

  “Thank you, Daddy, I will. Mom, dinner was delicious. Thank you.”

  I take the containers of leftover food, then Sawyer Jackson and I head to his daddy’s house. When I pull up to his apartment, my stomach does a flip when I see Heather Sue’s car parked n
ext to Ethan’s truck. Homewrecker!

  “Momma, that’s not Daddy’s car.”

  I look back at Sawyer Jackson and smile. “No, it sure isn’t.” I try to not show the hurt on my face, and I try to not remember the night I caught my husband kissing her.

  “Ready to see what Santa Claus brought you?” I say too happily for his benefit and mine.

  “Yay, Santa,” he says, excitedly.

  Before I have time to get Sawyer Jackson out of his booster seat, Ethan is walkin’ out of the house to greet us. He probably thought I would cause a scene.

  “Merry Christmas, Daddy.”

  “Merry Christmas, Buddy. Wanna see what Santa brought you?”

  “Yay, Santa.”

  “I love you, Sawyer Jackson, and I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

  “I love you, too.”

  I look at Sawyer Jackson and hand him to Ethan. “Look, Savannah Mae…”

  “Ethan.” I raise my hand to stop him. “I don’t want to hear it. I’ll pick Sawyer Jackson up tomorrow around noon.”

  “I know what you’re thinkin’,” Ethan says.

  I give him an icy stare. I’m pretty sure he has no idea what I’m thinkin’. I furrow my eyebrows and whisper, “Don’t. You have no idea what I’m thinkin’. Don’t talk to me about her again.”

  I look up at his apartment and Heather Sue is standin’ in the doorway.

  He backs away from me, holdin’ our son. I put on my Mommy smile for my son. “Go see what Santa brought you, and I’ll be back tomorrow.”

  “Yay, Santa came,” he says, clapping his hands. “I wanna see my presents.”

  I get into the console of the car to retrieve the small gift Sawyer Jackson and I got his daddy. I wish it were just from Sawyer Jackson, but stupid me, I wrote it was from the both of us on the card.

  “Here, we got you a little something for Christmas.”

  He takes the small box, wrapped in Santa paper, gives me a faint smile, and says, “Savannah Mae, I’m sorry.”

  “Please don’t.” I raise my hand and shake my hand. “Just don’t.” I lower my head and stare at my boots. I can’t look at him. I’m not sure why I feel like this. I knew he saw Heather Sue while we were married, so why does him seein’ her now bother me? My eyes burn and I know tears are comin’. I had always hoped maybe it was a one-time incident, although I knew it wasn’t. Savannah Mae, you are so stupid!

  “You got Daddy a gift?” I look up and he is talkin’ to Sawyer Jackson. Sawyer Jackson nods his head so hard his hat begins to fall into his eyes.

  Reaching up, I readjust the hat on his small head. “Get him in the house, it’s cold out here.” I look my son, but I’m talkin’ to Ethan.

  “Mommy loves you, pretty boy.” I can feel my smile when I see my son. I gently touch my boy’s rosy cheek.

  “I love you, too, Mommy.”

  I drive home and quickly pick up the house and run the sweeper. I stack Sawyer Jackson’s clothes and toys neatly back under the tree. Although Christmas is over, my family always put the opened gifts back under the tree once they were unwrapped. I think it’s to not rush the holidays. I admire the gifts and I am reminded of the wonderful morning Sawyer Jackson and I had together. I will always do what’s right for my son. I was raised to never do anything to embarrass my mother. I laugh at that. Even as an adult, I still use that one sayin’ as a guideline of the do’s and dont’s of life. If it embarrasses Momma, don’t do it. I’ll never do anything to embarrass my son, either.

  After showering, I put on a pair of jeans and a red sweater, and pull my hair into a ponytail. A little mascara and lip-gloss, and I am now looking okay, not great, but okay. I’ll take it. I still have a small twinge of pain in my heart from seein’ Heather Sue in Ethan’s apartment. I am such a fool.

  Abel Lee should be comin’ soon. I light a few candles and make myself a cup of hot herbal tea. Admirin’ my house, I suddenly realize it looks like I am tryin’ to set a romantic mood. I quickly blow out the candles and fan the smoke away with my hand. What am I doin’? I never should have asked Abel Lee to come over.

  I grab the quilt and head out to the front porch instead. Fresh air will help. Takin’ some deep breaths, I exhale slowly. The sun is already settin’ when I hear a cluckin’ noise comin’ from down the street. Blinkin’, I try to focus in on the cowboy ridin’ the horse. He waves and I smile. It can’t be. I stand and wrap the quilt tighter around me, walkin’ towards the steps of the porch. Omigod, it’s Abel Lee Kennedy.

  The horse doesn’t gallop but walks at a leisurely pace. Anticipation builds as I watch Abel Lee make his way towards me. He removes his cowboy hat and stops in front of my house and says, “Howdy.”

  I can feel the smile spread across my face and I remind myself to tone it down. “Howdy,” I reply, closin’ my mouth and tryin’ to hide my bright smile. He looks so good on top of that horse, I don’t think I’m able to say anything else.

  The horse moves and he steadies it. “I thought we could go for a ride.”

  “Is that Colonel?” I know Bud and Nelly have only two horses, and I know what Colonel did to Levi not too long ago. Bucked ‘im off and almost trampled ‘im.

  “The one and only.” The horse moves and he tries to steady it again.

  “Where’s Bluebelle?” I want Bluebelle.

  “She’s home. Colonel and I had a long talk and he promised to be good.”

  I laugh. “I ain’t ridin’ on him,” I say, pointin’ my finger at the massive solid black stallion.

  “C’mon. He’s just misunderstood.”

  I have been up to Nelly and Bud’s a few times and I do like Colonel. He’s beautiful, black, and massive in size. I’ve been ridin’ horses since I was in diapers, even took lessons growin’ up. I know a lot about horses, probably more than most people. I often thought that Colonel was misunderstood because of his size. I also know that if you feed him, he listens a lot better. “Okay, give me a minute.”

  “Yeah, you’ll come?”

  “Let me get a coat on.” And some snacks to feed Colonel while we’re gone.

  Once I am dressed properly for the cold, I head outside. Abel Lee is still sittin’ on top of Colonel. He smiles when he sees me. I walk up to the horse and pet him before I do anything else. I talk nicely and tell him to be nice, before feedin’ him some carrots I stashed in my pockets just for him. “Be nice, Colonel, Abel Lee’s a newbie.” I give him one last pet before movin’ away. “Ready?” I ask Abel Lee.

  “Do you need help?”

  For a minute, I wonder if I should act clueless and defenseless. I quickly decide against it. I don’t want to mislead him. “No, I think I got it.”

  He scoots up in the saddle and offers me his hand. I put one foot in the stirrup and hoist myself up in one try, using his hand for support. Colonel moves, but he doesn’t buck. “Easy, boy,” Abel Lee says as he steadies the stallion. “Ready?” he asks over his shoulder.

  As I’ll ever be. “Yep,” I say instead.

  I wrap my arms around Abel Lee and Colonel walks us down the road. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a horse and I soon realize that I miss it. The horse behaves himself, and I’m grateful. Abel Lee and I don’t talk but just enjoy the silence of the evening.

  He stops by the creek and says, “Let’s take a break.”

  I climb off Colonel and feed him some more carrots while Abel Lee climbs down from the saddle. Abel Lee comes up and also offers him an apple. “A bribe?” I ask, teasingly.

  He chuckles. “As long as it works.” He strokes him between his eyes and down his long nose. “He does like his apples.”

  “And carrots,” I add, pulling out more carrots from my coat pocket.

  “Smart girl,” he says. He ties Colonel up to a tree and takes me by my hand, leadin’ me to the stream of runnin’ water. “I used to come here as a boy.” He leans against a tree and looks around the dark wooded area.

  I sit down
at the base of the tree trunk near his feet. He lowers himself and joins me. “It’s beautiful here.” I watch as he stretches out his long legs. “I can’t wait till Sawyer Jackson gets old enough so I can teach him to catch crawdads.”

  He looks over at me. “You hunt crawdads?”

  “Favorite pastime ever.”

  “You fish, too?

  I laugh. “You’re looking at the recipient of the blue ribbon award of the Perry County Catch and Release Tournament three years in a row.”

  Now he laughs. “No.”

  “Yes. I would never lie about something like that. That’s a big deal in these parts.” I try to hide the hint of a smile I feel on my lips.

  “Now, Savannah Mae, that is very impressive.” He looks from one eye to the other, and I quickly look away.

  I pick up a twig and break it in half. “Thank you. What about you? You hold any significant titles or anything I should know about?”

  He pauses for a moment and looks beyond the creek. “No, nothing as impressive as yours.” He looks at me and gives me another faint smile.

  There’s an awkward silence. “Mia tells me you’re just here visitin’. You got plans of leavin’ soon?”

  “I should be leaving tomorrow. But I’ll be staying through New Year’s.”

  I look over at him. “You’ll be goin’ to the big New Year’s Eve party then.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “The American Legion in Roseville. They always put on a big party, complete with square dancin’ and everything. Your Momma and Pops never miss it.”

  He watches me with crinkled eyes. “Square dancing, huh.”

  “And line dancin’, too. It’s a big deal, you should go.”

  “Will you be there?”

  “Not this year.” I remember it’s my first New Year’s Eve since my divorce. I don’t want to be out on New Year’s Eve as a single woman. “Sawyer Jackson and I have a date with each other that night. I’ll be home bringin’ it in with my son.” He nods. I suddenly feel sad thinkin’ that he isn’t here to stay. Although I don’t know him very well, I like what I know of him.

  “Sounds like you have big plans that night.”

  “We do. I bought some hats, noisemakers, and some sparklin’ cider. We’ll play some board games and watch a few movies. We’ll both be asleep by midnight,” I say, laughing.

  He smiles. “It sounds like fun.” He skips a rock or two and says, “I should probably get you home.”

  He stands and offers me his hand. Before leavin’, we both offer Colonel some love and snacks. I laugh, “Nothin’ like bribin’ a horse to get us home safely.”

  “Whatever works.”

  He gets on, then I climb on after him. I hold on tightly and rest my chin on his shoulder. “I had a good time, thank you.”

  He keeps a hold of the reins but leans back into me. “I did, too, thank you.”

  “What made you decide on a pony ride tonight?” I giggle because Colonel is anything but a pony.

  I can see his eyes crinkle from the street light and I know it’s from a smile. “It’s Christmas, I couldn’t just show up empty handed.”

  “You put a lot of thought into this.”

  “I spent the last three hours trying to break him in.”

  That explains why the massive stallion hasn’t bucked us off yet. “Thank you. It’s probably the most memorable date I’ve ever been on.” Date? Did I say “date”? I didn’t mean to say “date.” I hang my head and pray he didn’t catch me calling tonight a date. I feel his hand touch my lower leg as we ride the rest of the way home in silence.

  “Home, safe, and sound,” he says, soundin’ surprised.

  Thank God. “Thank you.”

  I hold onto him as I slide off the massive animal. Once my feet hit the ground, I get my balance and look up at him. “I had a great time.”

  “Me, too. I would walk you to the door…”

  I interrupt, “It’s okay, I can manage.”

  “Before I forget, I have something for Sawyer Jackson.”

  He unzips his coat and hands me a small wrapped gift. “It isn’t much, just a small something I thought he would like.”

  I take the gift and look at it. It feels like a box and it’s wrapped in snowman wrappin’ paper. “Abel Lee, you didn’t have to do that. Thank you.”

  “You may want to hold off on the gratitude. Later, you might wish I never gave him such a present.”

  I roll my eyes. “I doubt that, I’m sure he’ll love it. Thank you.”

  “I’ll watch you from here.”

  I roll my eyes. I walk into my house every night without someone watchin’ over me. “Let me feed Colonel before you take off.”

  “I think he’ll be okay. Goodnight, Savannah Mae.”

  He’s livin’ on the edge. I like that. “Good night, Abel Lee.” I walk towards the front porch before turnin’ back around. He’s watchin’ me as he sits on top of the massive beast. “Should I wait and see if he bucks you off? Maybe you’ll be in need of help.”

  “Are you insinuating I can’t handle Colonel?”

  I want to smile, but I need to maintain a straight face. “I’m just sayin’ I know what he’s capable of.”

  Colonel turns around into a complete circle before Abel Lee gets him under control. “No, I think I can handle a little pony.”

  Now, I am bearin’ a show-all-my-teeth smile. I walk the rest of the way to the porch and open the door. “Suit yourself. Have a good night,” I say, closing the door behind me.

  As soon as I hear Colonel take off down the street, I open the door. I watch as Abel Lee rides Colonel with expertise. The black stallion and his master. I lock up and take another shower before bed.