Wishful Thinking

  “But…But…” Phil felt close to panic. She was fairly certain her grandmother hadn’t meant her advice the way Cass was interpreting it. But her sisters were unstoppable. Even as Phil turned to protest some more, they shut the door in her face and she heard the click of the lock.

  It looked like she was on her own.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  As Phil headed for the car wearing nothing but the tiny nighty all she could think about was the angry set of Josh’s shoulders and the tears in his true brown eyes. She almost turned back, but remembered her grandmother’s words. Josh loved her—really loved her in a way Christian never had. In fact, he was perfect for her, according to Nana. But how could she let him know that?

  Her fairy godmother’s malicious magic was standing between her and the man she loved. If this was a fairy tale she’d be the princess in the tower, waiting to be rescued or the fair maiden under a spell, waiting for love’s first kiss to awaken her.

  Phil squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. This is no fairy tale and I’m not helpless princess! she told herself. And I’ll be damned if I’ll sit around and wait for someone to rescue me. Nana’s right—it’s up to me to break this curse and get Josh back. She felt a surge of determination and glanced down at her watch. Crap! It was almost four forty-five—she had to go now.

  Phil ran to her car, not caring that the gravel driveway was sharp and pointy under her bare feet. She slipped into the driver’s seat, keyed the ignition, and gunned the engine. Normally she was a very careful when she drove—what Cass called a ‘granny driver’—but as she barreled out of Nana’s driveway, she would have put any NASCAR driver to shame

  Every light seemed to be red and every car in front of her seemed to creep but Phil finally found herself parked outside Josh’s apartment building. He had a second story apartment, just a little one bedroom mostly taken up with bachelor clutter and technical equipment. She pulled up in front of the wide tan building and looked for his car. Oh, thank God—his Hybrid was still there!

  Phil was about to jump out of her bug when she saw Josh on the second story landing, arguing with someone. It was a man she had never seen before—he had a huge bushy black mustache and was carrying a large tray in one hand. Her best friend was wearing a pair of jeans and a tight black T-shirt that clung to his muscular chest in a way that made her mouth water. He was carrying a suitcase and a laptop bag. Oh God, if he was taking his computer, he really was serious.

  Normally Phil would have been reluctant to go out in front of God and everybody dressed in a nighty which barely reached the tops of her thighs. But desperate times called for desperate measures. Gathering her courage, she hopped out of the car and, clutching her large beach bag in front of her as a shield, she marched up the steps.

  Josh was so distracted arguing with the man with the mustache and tray that he didn’t see her right away.

  “No, I’m telling you I didn’t order those,” he said, his voice annoyed. “I’m leaving to catch a plane—why the hell would I order something like that?”

  “It say right here!” the man insisted in heavily accented English. “Deliver to twenty-one B. So I deliver to twenty-one B. You live twenty-one B so you pay. You pay now.”

  “No! I’m not paying for those. I’m not…Phil?” Josh broke off his argument to stare at her wide-eyed.

  Phil gave him a little wave and kept her mouth shut, not knowing what she could say to keep him from going to the airport.

  “Phil, what are you doing here…er, dressed like that?” There was a faint spark of hope shining in his deep brown eyes and Phil was so afraid of extinguishing that spark she actually bit her tongue.

  “Josh,” she ventured at last and then didn’t dare to say anything else.

  As she and Josh looked at each other, the man with the tray was eyeing her up and down. His mustache twitched with disapproval.

  “You pay!” he said again, shaking his fist at Josh. “You can afford hooker lady, you can afford to pay for what you order!”

  “What? She’s not a hooker!” Josh protested, quick to jump to her defense. “And for the last time, I didn’t order those.”

  Phil dragged her eyes from her best friend to see that the man with the mustache was holding a bakery tray with a clear plastic lid like one you might get on a fruit or lunch meat arrangement at the local deli. But instead of fruit or cold cuts, the tray held no less than two dozen plump chocolate éclairs, all oozing yellowish custard. She felt her stomach turn over, but they couldn’t stand here arguing all night.

  “How much?” she asked the delivery man.

  “You pay, hooker lady?” He raised a bushy eyebrow at her.

  “I told you, she’s not a hooker,” Josh said insistently.

  “How much?” Phil asked again, digging in her beach bag and praying she had enough cash.

  “Forty dollar,” the delivery man pronounced with relish.

  Phil winced. No doubt about it, her fairy godmother’s malignant magic was at work again. But of all the years her éclair wish had been in effect, she’d never had to actually pay for the loathsome pastries before. Especially not forty dollars worth.

  “Phil, this guy is a con artist—you don’t have to pay for those,” Josh protested even as she shoved the cash at the delivery man and took the tray from him.

  The man frowned under his mustache at the crumpled twenty and two tens she had given him. “No tip?”

  “No, no tip! Now get out of here,” Josh growled. The man ambled off, muttering something under his breath that sounded like, “cheap hooker lady”, but by the time Josh turned to yell that she wasn’t a hooker again, he was gone.

  “I don’t understand why you did that,” Josh muttered, glaring at the tray of éclairs. “I thought you hated those things.”

  “Do you have a place I can set them?” Phil asked, trying to ask questions to avoid saying things she didn’t mean.

  “Sure, I guess. But I was about to turn my key in to the front office.”

  “Please?” Phil gave him a desperate look.

  “Well…all right. But I’m already late.” Even as he spoke he was unlocking the front door to let her in.

  Phil stepped inside and felt a chill run down her spine. Josh had a furnished apartment so the battered couch and coffee table were still where she remembered them, but there were dozens of cardboard boxes standing around the apartment, stacked and labeled and ready to be shipped. For the first time it hit her—Josh really was going. That was, unless she could stop him.

  “Uh, excuse the mess.” Josh made a path through the boxes so she could put the tray down on the counter separating the living room from the tiny kitchenette. “I have a moving company coming in tomorrow to ship the rest of this stuff back home.”

  Back home. Phil felt panic rising in her throat. “Josh,” she said dropping her beach bag and stepping close to him. “You have to go. You and I would never make a good couple.”

  The spark of hope she’d seen in his eyes died abruptly and he sighed. “I know that, Phil. You told me on the beach. Hell, you wrote it out for me.”

  “Wait!” She clutched at his arm, feeling like a fool. “Please…you’re not the only man in the world for me! If you leave now I know I won’t regret it for the rest of my life.”

  “What?” Josh was giving her a quizzical look. “Phil,” he asked carefully. “Are you, uh, on something? Because you’ve been acting kind of weird all day.” He glanced at his watch. “And I really need to go if I’m going to make my plane.”

  Phil was so frustrated she could scream. He was leaving! He was walking out of her life and there was nothing she could do about it! Then her eyes happened to fall on the tray of oozing éclairs and she had a sudden inspiration.

  “Josh,” she said, still hanging on to his sleeve. “Did you see Alison’s bikini today?”

  He shrugged. “Uh, yeah. I guess so. Pretty tacky, huh?”

  “No,” Phil said. “It was the most tasteful outfit I have
ever seen.”

  “What?” Josh frowned at her, looking more confused than ever. Phil plowed ahead.

  “And you know Mister Dickson, my boss?” she continued, looking at him earnestly.

  “Of course I know him. He’s—”

  “He’s the best boss I’ve ever had,” Phil said clearly.

  Josh let out a short laugh. “Now I know you’re on something. What have you been smoking?”

  “Josh, listen!” she insisted, pointing at the tray of éclairs. “Do you know how I feel about éclairs?”

  “You hate them,” he said immediately.

  “No, I love them,” Phil insisted. “I love éclairs. But listen…” She put both her hands on his shoulders and looked up to meet his gaze. “I don’t love you, Josh.” She put her heart into the words, feeling her eyes fill with unshed tears. If only he would understand! “I don’t love you,” she repeated softly. “Oh, Josh, I don’t love you so much.”

  “Wait…you don’t…you…” Josh frowned in obvious confusion. “You don’t love me, but you do love éclairs,” he said slowly. “You think Alison’s suit was tasteful and Dickhead Junior is the best boss you’ve ever had…” He frowned and then his eyes cleared. “Wait a minute, Phil. Is this something like the problem you were having where you had to say everything you thought? And then later, where I had to say everything I thought?”

  “No! No!” she agreed eagerly, nodding.

  “Phil…” He scrubbed a hand over his jaw, making the familiar sandpaper sound. “This is going to sound really stupid, but are you under some kind of a…I don’t know, some kind of a spell or something? Like in a fairy tale?”

  “No!” She nodded enthusiastically.

  “Well…” Josh grinned at her uncertainly. “In every fairy tale I ever read as a kid, there was only one way to break the evil spell.” He cupped her cheek in one large palm and pulled her close. “I’ve been waiting to do this from the first minute I saw you.”

  He leaned forward and took her mouth in a kiss that set her on fire. Phil reached up to bury her hands in his hair and kissed him back, giving in to the desire that had been burning in her for days.

  Josh was gentle at first, barely caressing her lips with his own, but when she responded so eagerly, he kissed harder, wrapping his arms around her and demanding entrance to her mouth.

  Phil opened for him willingly, giving in to the sweet, devouring kiss with her whole being. God, this was what she had been needing for so long! She no longer cared about taking things slowly or waiting a decent interval after her breakup with Christian to start a new relationship with Josh. All she could think of was how much she wanted him—how much she needed him. That and the warm tingling sensation racing through every nerve in her body.

  Wait a minute—tingling sensation? Phil opened her eyes and pulled back from the kiss. Josh released her at once.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—” he began, but Phil shushed him with a shake of her head. The moment she broke contact with him, the familiar tingling sensation disappeared. Experimenting, she reached up and brushed her lips against his, and was rewarded with an electric prickle that reminded her of…where had she felt that before?

  Suddenly, her nana’s voice echoed in her head. “I remember that magical tingle I felt the first time he took me in his arms and kissed me and I knew I loved him with my whole heart.” That was it, Phil realized. The place she’d felt the magic tingle before was when a wish was granted. But it only happened when she and Josh were kissing. And the more intense the kiss…the more intense the tingle.

  The wish that had become a curse—could they actually break it this way? There was only one way to find out. Phil reached up and pulled Josh down for another kiss. God, his mouth tasted good, like the cinnamon candy he liked so much, and his arms around her felt like warm steel. She could feel the strength and urgency in his grip, his need for her in the way he stroked her hair and back and pulled her close against him. And the way he kissed her—like he wanted to devour her. Christian had never kissed her like that.

  “God, Phil!” It was Josh that broke the kiss this time, breaking the magical tingle as well. He was almost panting as he looked down at her, his brown eyes dark with desire. “I don’t know where we’re going with this but if you want to stop, we need to put on the brakes pretty soon here. I’ve wanted you for years and seeing you in this tiny little outfit isn’t doing a damn thing for my self-control.” He nodded at the lacy red nighty and Phil felt herself blushing with pleasure and desire. Suddenly she knew what she needed to do to finish breaking the curse—kissing wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough.

  “I want you to stop now,” she whispered in his ear. “And I don’t want you to fuck me, Josh. I don’t want you to fuck me all night long.”

  He drew in a breath and looked down at her, his eyes blazing. “Phil, I’ve never been the kind of guy who thinks no means yes but in this case…” He leaned down and picked her up in his arms. “I think I’m going to have to make an exception.”

  Phil wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled her face against the side of his strong throat, breathing in his warm, spicy fragrance. “No, Josh,” she murmured, pressing herself against him. “Oh, God, no.”

  “All right then.” He passed through the towers of boxes stacked in the living room and headed straight for the bedroom at the back of the apartment. Phil shivered when he kicked open the door to reveal a queen sized bed. The mattress had been stripped bare in preparation for his move, but she didn’t care. At this point she wouldn’t have cared if he chose to take her right up against the wall or on the bare floor—she just wanted him.

  Josh laid her down gently and stroked her hair. “You know, I waited until the last minute to leave. I was hoping you’d come.”

  “Oh, Josh.” She reached up to cup his cheek, feeling the scratch of his stubble against her palm. “Please,” she whispered, wanting to feel his mouth on her again. “Please, I…”

  “I know,” he whispered. “Me too. But let me just hold you for a minute. I’ve waited so long to have you, I want this to last.”

  Phil tugged at his T-shirt. “You should put your clothes on.”

  He chuffed out a laugh and sat up to pull the shirt over his head, revealing the broad expanse of his tan, muscular chest. “You know, I could almost get used to this. But I think I liked it better when you had to tell me everything you were thinking. That dream…” He shook his head. “It has to be the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.” He lay back down beside her wearing only his jeans and gathered her close in his arms. “Never thought I’d get to make it a reality,” he murmured against her neck.

  “Mmm.” Phil arched her back, practically purring with the pleasure of being wrapped in his strong arms. His chest was a warm, solid wall of muscle pressed against her barely covered breasts and it seemed like she just couldn’t get close enough to satisfy herself. She thought about all the times Josh had hugged her or put an arm around her when she was in need of comfort. How many years had she ignored the attraction she felt for him because of the unspoken barrier between them? How many times had she pretended to herself that she felt nothing but friendship for Josh because she was blindly determined to stick with Christian no matter how bad things got? But she was free of those obstacles now and her path to Josh was clear. She was finally getting her wish—to be close to him, to be caressed all over by those big, warm gentle hands—and it was a hell of a lot better than any wish the FG had ever granted for her.

  Josh nuzzled her neck again, planting a hot kiss against the vulnerable side of her throat. Phil moaned softly as another warm, magical tingle ran through her. Oh yes, this was exactly what she wanted—exactly what she needed.

  “God, Phil, you’re so soft and warm,” he said in a voice that was slightly hoarse. “And this little piece of nothing you have on is driving me crazy.” He pulled at the red string that tied the top of the baby doll nighty together and Phil moaned as the bow parted and the two sides fell
away from her naked breasts. “Beautiful,” Josh murmured before leaning down to take one of her nipples in his mouth. He sucked hard and then nipped her very gently, making Phil gasp and arch her back as a bolt of pleasure/pain shot down her spine to the damp V between her legs. She had on the tiny red lace bikini panties that went with the nighty and she wondered how long it would take for Josh to strip them away.

  But Josh seemed intent on taking his time. He sucked and lapped her nipples until they were both as red and hard as cinnamon drops. Phil moaned as she felt the warm magical tingle growing between Josh and herself, like an electrical current that increased with every touch, every taste. She felt her breath catch in her throat as Josh stroked her sides and cupped her breasts. He was so gentle, so infinitely tender. It was as if she was the most precious thing he had ever touched and he didn’t want to damage her.

  “Josh,” she moaned, pulling him closer, “Please…please no…don’t suck me…my nipples any more.”

  He laughed softly. “I must be some kind of a pervert but hearing you beg me not to do things while I do them is making me so damn hot.” He leaned down and sucked one of her nipples hard for a moment, then looked up at her again as she moaned. “You’re so beautiful, Phil. I just want to touch you and kiss you everywhere.” His brown eyes were full of emotion and the intensity of his gaze made Phil feel desired and cherished at the same time. It was a strange and wonderful mixture of emotions that she had never experienced before. She looked back at him, wishing she could really express how she felt and then she had an idea.

  “Josh,” she murmured, stoking her hand through his hair. “Please…please don’t kiss me lower. Further down, I mean. Please?”

  “Mmm.” The sound came out almost as a growl and Josh smiled at her. “So you don’t want me to kiss you here?” he asked, and planted a soft kiss just below her breasts. Phil felt the warm magical tingle and groaned.

  “N…no,” she whispered breathlessly. “Please, not lower. Don’t kiss me lower…”