Told by the Death's Head: A Romantic Tale
CHAPTER I.
THE SECUNDOGENITUR.
Although my crime has been most generously condoned by your highness,I have not escaped punishment for it. I have suffered severely. Afterpartaking of the unnatural food, all in the boat were seized withfrightful convulsions, similar to those exhibited by a dog afflictedwith rabies.
The smallest particle of the accursed food is sufficient to make a manexperience all the tortures of purgatory. I dare say the reason mysufferings were not so severe as those of my comrades, I ate only thefoot. They foamed at the lips; their eyeballs burst from the sockets;they bit each other, and rent and tore their own flesh. They bellowed,roared, and whined, as dogs do at the moon. Many of them sprang atonce into the water and were devoured by sharks.
When my worst torture passed, my limbs became cold and rigid as stone;it was the marasmus. I could see, and hear, but I could neither feelnor move. The fierce sun beating on my face threatened to burn out myeyes, but I could not lift my hands to cover them. To seize thehorizon and draw it up to the zenith would have been an easier taskthan to close my eyelids over the burning eyeballs.
Yet, amid all this horrible pain, I had the feeling as if a faintzephyr from fluttering wings were sweeping across my cheek. It was thewhite dove perched on my shoulder, my beautiful white dove, who wascome to me again in my hour of direst need! She tried with heroutstretched wings to shield my face from the scorching sun, and theblessed shadow brought such relief that I was at last able to close myeyes in sleep.
How long and whither the dismasted and rudderless boat drifted;whether it touched any shore--I cannot remember. I don't know whathappened during my madness.
My comrades in misfortune were lost; some drowned themselves to endtheir agony; some died a horrible death in the boat. I alone was savedby a heavenly providence for further trials. The drifting boat wasfound by an Indian merchantman bound for Antwerp, and the nobleChristians aboard of her, believing life not yet extinct in mymiserable body, worked over me until they brought back the soul to itsearthly tenement.
I forgive every enemy I have in the world; but my benefactor on thatIndian merchantman, who brought me back to life, I never can forgive.Had he cast me into the waves instead of resuscitating me, I shouldnow be ambergris, for, as the honorable gentlemen know, that valuablesubstance develops in the stomach of a shark, and I should have beendevoured by one of those voracious beasts. Instead of a wretchedcriminal on trial for his many misdeeds, I should now, had I beenallowed to become ambergris, be swinging in a censer perfuming thealtar of a church. The care I received on board the Indiaman fullyrestored my strength, and when we arrived in the harbor in Hollandthere was no trace about me of the many hardships I had endured.
I could hardly wait until I got back to Nimeguen to see my dear wifeand child. The child would be running about now--perhaps the motherhad taught it to call me by name!
How happy I should be to be home again!--no captain, no rajah, but afather.
Not the consort of a Begum, but the husband of my wife. I blessed thefate which had delivered me from the land of lions, tigers andserpents. Had not I a tulip garden worth all the wealth of India?
I turned night to day in order to reach home as quickly as possible,and sent mounted estafets in advance to announce my coming. My wife,who had increased in weight fully twenty-five pounds, had a splendidrepast prepared for me; and flung her arms around my neck when Ialighted from the carriage.
After our first transports of joy were over, my first words were:
"Now, where is my child?"
"There they come," replied my wife, pointing, with a beamingcountenance, toward two nurse-maids who were descending thestaircase. One of the maids led by the hand a little toddling lad; theother carried an infant in long clothes on her arm.
"What--what does that mean?" I stammered, pointing toward the smallerchild.
"That is your second born, you silly fellow!" replied my wife, smilingaffectionately.
"My second born?" I exclaimed in amazement. "Why, I have been absentfor nearly three years."
"Have you forgotten Maimuna and Danesh?" she whispered, hiding herblushing face on my breast. "Have you forgotten our meeting in thepalace on Ararat?"
"Maimuna and Danesh?--_Himmelkreuzelement!_" I exclaimed, unable tosuppress the forcible expletive.
My wife, however, was roused to anger by it. Did I presume to doubther fidelity? she demanded in no gentle accents. Had she not in herpossession ample proof that she was true to me? Had she not my ownletter, in which I related at length the circumstances of our meetingon Ararat, whither we had been taken by the two genii? Was a betterproof required than the lingam I had given her at that meeting--alsothe fragment of stuff with gold dragons woven in it? And, if it wastrue that I was a king at the time of our meeting on the mountain,then the infant on the maid's arm must be a prince!
"Woman," I returned in a severe tone, "this is not a matter for jest.Visions are not real. That I dreamed a delightful dream I admit; butthis squalling brat is no dream! On the contrary, he is a verydisagreeable reality! I'll go at once to the burgomaster! I'lldenounce you to the arch-bishop! I'll summon the consistory! I willnot allow myself to be made a fool of!"
"Very well," retorted my wife, "go to the burgomaster--go to thearch-bishop--summon the consistory, make a tremendous ado, and youwill prove yourself a greater fool than I believed you!"
I carried out my threat and rushed to the burgomaster's residence. Hewas still asleep, but I dragged him out of bed, and told him theFrench were coming to attack the town. That drove slumber from hiseyes; and I proceeded to lay my complaint before him. He kept yawningthe while so dreadfully that I feared he might swallow me before I gotthrough with my story.
When I concluded, he deliberated several minutes, then said I shouldcome again the next day--he would have to think over the matter.
I was forced to go back to my wife. I couldn't help myself, for Ihadn't a groschen to my name, and the Nimeguen inns will not receive aguest unless he pays in advance for his entertainment.
To my shame therefore I was compelled to go home, and now it was mywife who raged and scolded. She said I might complain as much, and towhomsoever I wanted, it would benefit me nothing. If I did not acceptthe situation with a good humor, mine would be the loss--and so on.
I bore her taunts, and revilings, in silence, for I felt great need ofsupper and rest; but I said to myself: "There is a tomorrow--I'll havemy revenge then!"
The next day I went again to the burgomaster; he was able to keepawake this time.
He asked me if he should speak to me as to a Nimeguen gunner, or anEast Indian sovereign?
"As to an Indian rajah," I replied.
"Very good!--also: Sublime Maharajah, nabob, or Shah--whichever is theproper title--be seated." My title permitted me to put on my hat,while respect for it obliged the burgomaster to remove his office cap.He continued: "Be kind enough to answer the following questions: Howmany wives does the law permit an Indian sovereign to marry? How manyelephants, camels, rhinoceroses, male and female genii, and otherdraught cattle, is he allowed to employ in his service?"
I saw what would be the result if I answered these questions, so Isaid instead:
"I beg pardon, your honor, but, on second thought, I believe I wouldrather have you speak to me as to a gunner of Nimeguen--according toEuropean custom."
"Very good again--also. You gunner-fellow, take off your hat thisinstant!" he commanded, at the same time placing the cap on his head."As it is contrary to our Christian laws to take a second wife whilethe first is still alive, I shall pronounce you guilty of bigamy, thepunishment for which is the pillory first, and the galleys afterward."
This did not suit me either, so I interrupted:
"May I beg that you will speak to me as to an Indian sovereign?"
I put on my hat, but the burgomaster did not again remove his cap. Hesaid:
"You had command of a province, and a pair of flying genii; therefore,it is quite
within the bounds of possibility that you and your firstwife were borne through the air to the meeting-place on the mountainyou mention. That being settled, what else do you complain of? Haveyou lost anything?"
"No, your honor, quite the contrary; I have found something; a son Idid not expect."
"Is the child living?"
"He is."
"Well--if he is living he is alive. That which is, cannot bedenied--it is a fact, and that which is a fact cannot be termedfiction--"
This ridiculous un-reasoning angered me, and I interrupted him,whereupon there ensued a war of words that raged furiously until itculminated in an exchange of blows.
The case was not one for a mere burgomaster to decide; I would submitit to the consistory. I did not know then what I had undertaken!
All Nimeguen is related; its citizens are cousins or brothers-in-law,and withal exceedingly moral. If it so happens that any one of themcommits an indiscretion, all the rest take great pains to conceal themisdeed. I don't mean that it is never mentioned in private; but thereis not a court of law in the land that could summon a witness whowould admit that he, or she, knew anything about the matter. In mycase, servants, neighbors, citizens, all averred that my wife was thepattern of fidelity; that she had not been known to leave her house,only when she went to confession and to church; that she had not evenbought a new cap during my entire absence.
Consequently, my accusations were ridiculous, and wholly withoutfoundation.
Her defense had a powerful base to rest on. There was the letterwritten by my own hand on Chinese palm-paper, describing our meetingin the palace on Mount Ararat, and attested by the bonzes, who, aseverybody knows, are learned men, and as worthy of trust as any memberof our chapter-house.
Consequently, there must be such fairies as Maimuna and Danesh, elsethe bonzes would not have testified to their existence. If there wereno such creatures in Europe, it was because the climate was toosevere. There are no elephants in Holland, yet no one would deny theirexistence elsewhere--not even the man who had never seen one, woulddeny that they roamed the jungles of India! Moreover, is there notmention made in the Holy Scriptures of a chariot of fire journeyingwith a passenger through the air? And did not Jonah make a voyage onthe ocean, in the stomach of a whale?
If holy men could make such journeys, why should anyone deny that thegenii Maimuna and Danesh had carried a man and his wife to the palaceon Mount Ararat?--especially as both man and wife had desired themeeting, whereas Jonah had never expressed the least desire to enterthe whale's belly.
Added to this evidence, my wife possessed in the lingam absolute proofof my having been with her on Ararat--also the fragment ofdragon-cloth, the like of which was not to be found in all Europe--allirrefragable proofs!
You may guess that the consistory did not hesitate long to deliver anopinion.
Although it was almost impossible to believe that so remarkable ajourney could have been accomplished a respectable and pious lady hadreally travelled from Nimeguen on the wings of an East Indian Jinnee,at night, to Mount Ararat, and back in the morning.
Also: It was not at all likely that the said respectable and piouslady, the former widow of a captain, wife of a gunner, and consort ofan Indian rajah, would demean her respectable station, and inflict astain on her wedded fidelity. Therefore, the woman accused of adulterywas guiltless; and the father of the _surculi masculi_ found at homeby the returned gunner, was no other than he, the _nuptiaedemonstrant_. And with this decision I was forced to be satisfied,also with my wife and the infant.
Here, the prince laughed so heartily that he burst a button from hiscollar.
"An amusing story, by my word!" he exclaimed. "I would not have missedit for a riding-horse! Ha, ha--to decide that a vision really happenedbecause the dreamer wrote an account of it--ha, ha, ha!"
"And did everything really happen as you related it?" inquired thechair.
Everything--I give my word of honor--what am I saying? Not by myhonor, but by the rope around my neck, I swear that everythinghappened just as I told you. You may apply to the authorities ofNimeguen, who will substantiate my account. Because of its remarkablecharacter, the case is recorded in the chronicles of the city. Thiswill explain the deed I was forced to commit afterward.
"We will hear you confess it tomorrow," said the prince.