Winter Solstice Winter - Book I in the Viking Blood Saga

The young girl had vanished as quickly as she had appeared, running into the forest, disappearing into the shadows of the moonlit night. Lucia had tried to run after her, but Soren urged her not to, saying the child would only scream and attract unwanted attention.

  “As we approach Solnes, we will need to carefully assess the situation. If what the girl told us is true, then we will have to find a detour and continue our journey through the night. We can then camp where it is safe. It will be too risky for us to stay there,” he said.

  “I just hope the girl is not right,” she said, although something told her she was.

  “Chances are she is. I just hope the attack is local and that the Vikings have not planned to attack Bergendal.” He paused, his brow furrowing in deep thought. “Maybe we should be heading back?”

  “Bergendal is so far away from here,” she said.

  “I am worried about Ailia and the others. Their lives could be in danger.”

  “Soren, you are just one man. Even if there were ten of you, you could not have stopped the thousands,” she said. “We must focus on our lives, on building our future together and let the others go.”

  “I sense danger,” he said, ignoring Lucia’s prodding. “I could help a great deal if they were in trouble. Sentinors are capable of much more than what you might think.”

  “Bergendal is miles away. They cannot possibly have attacked there, too,” she said, knowing if they went back, her lies would be exposed.

  “If it were my family back there, I would return in an instant.” His voice had become stern.

  “Yes, I am sure you would, but you do not know Ailia the way I know her.”

  “I hope us leaving so abruptly and her affection for me, hasn’t caused a rift between the two of you?” he said.

  Lucia sighed impatiently. “Of course not.”

  “Because family is important—the most important—at least to me,” he said.

  “Me, too.” Or… was it? Her actions would say she honored truth, honor, integrity, and respect, were more important.

  “What is it you are not telling me?” he asked.

  She gave him a sideways glance. “Nothing.” But she knew he would not relent until she had given him an answer, and so she said, “It was a challenge trying to befriend Ailia when she was in love with you.”

  He nodded his head once. “I sensed some tension from you while Ailia was around.”

  Why must he prolong this conversation? It was as if he could not stop himself from speaking of Ailia, and that made her even more upset. “I tried to understand my sister. I tried to reason with her, tell her you and I were meant for each other, but she said she felt a strong connection between you and her. It tore me apart, Soren, and I was afraid she would betray me and steal you away.”

  He sat in deep thought for several long moments. “I have to be honest with you. I feel there is something you are not telling me.”

  Lucia exhaled sharply. How did he know? The more she said, the more he suspected, and she feared he would soon realize everything. I cannot do this anymore. She squeezed her eyes closed and huffed. Should I tell him? Her stomach revolted at the thought.

  “Lucia?” he asked, waiting for her reply.

  “Please just leave me alone! I do not want to talk about it. Can you not understand that?”

  “Lucia, whatever it is, I am sure we can talk through it. Nothing should come between us, especially not your family. I hope you can trust me enough to open up.”

  Lucia glared at him in the darkness. He must already know and is playing me for a fool. He must just be waiting for me to admit my transgression. “There is nothing wrong, do you understand?”

  “I would say there is something very wrong, or you would not be so upset.”

  “Very well. Do you want me to admit it? I am not who you think I am, Soren!” She gasped from what she had said, her hand hitting her mouth.

  “What do you mean? How could you be anyone other than yourself?” he asked.

  She could not hold back her tongue. “I am the Bearer of Light.” Her tone had turned sarcastic—bitter.

  “Yes—?”

  “What does Bearer of Light mean?” she asked.

  “That you bear the light, of course.”

  She let out a frustrated moan. “You do not understand.” And he would not until she gave it to him straight. Should she? She had only left Brandersgaard out of spite—toward Ailia and the rest of the Christian household. Now it had become clear she was heading toward another Christian household and more problems. She sighed inwardly as it dawned on her that she had made a mistake. Why was she fighting so hard to continue her parents’ lies? Because she wanted Soren to love her? No, it had more to do with that she wanted to rebel against the unfairness against her. She had hoped he loved her and thought perhaps if his love was strong enough, they could find a way to make it work. Perhaps she in time would even learn to love him back. However, Soren did not love her; that was clear now. He wanted Ailia, even though he would never admit it. What was she fighting for? Nothing. And as long as Eiess thought Lucia was the Great Sentinor, her life would be in danger.

  “Well, I would if you told me,” he said frustratedly.

  “Why are you trying to humiliate me?” she asked.

  “I am not. I would never try to humiliate you.”

  “Well, you are.”

  “If I am, I apologize, but that is not my desire,” he said softly, as sincerely as Lucia had ever heard him.

  Something snapped inside her. She could not keep up the façade for another minute. This was going to be painful on so many levels. She adored Soren, but did she love him? No. And he did not love her either. It was her parents who had painted a picture for her, and as the innocent child she was, she had believed it. But now she was a woman, the Sun Queen, and she needed to see things for what they were. I do not want to become like my parents. It was the most honest thought she had had all day.

  “I have deceived you.” She stared at him, trying to read his expression. Should she confess? There is still time to run away, to keep up the illusion. My parents’ illusion—my illusion.

  He remained silent for a moment.

  She could not hold her tongue. “Please forgive me. You see, I thought I loved you and I always thought you would become my husband. Ever since my childhood I dreamt of us being married and raising a family together.”

  “And we will,” he said softly, still smiling, unaware of the revelation he was about to have. “Wait…you do not love me?”

  “No, I do not and no, we will never raise a family.” She cried and laughed at the same time. She stopped the horse and jumped off, not knowing what to do with herself other than to pace back and forth on the snow-covered road.

  “Lucia, what are you doing?” he asked and jumped off of Volomite, rushing over to her. He slowly turned her around and looked into her eyes. “I love you and we are going to get married. Trust me, no matter what you have done, I will forgive you,” he said. “I am not perfect either, you know. While I was waiting for you, I was sorely tempted to—”

  “Please, just let me speak!” she shouted.

  “I love you. That is what is true and that is all we need to know here and now.” He kissed her on the forehead. “I know it has been confusing with Ailia in the picture, but—we have to do what is right.”

  “You do not know what I have done.” She twisted out of his arms. “You do not know who I am. I have been such a—liar,” she said, finally giving herself the name, which was rightfully hers.

  He scooped her back up into his embrace and held her.

  She enjoyed having his affection, but knew it was just a matter of time before he would despise her and see nothing more than a fraudulent liar standing before him. She hated him for that already. “You are not accepting or even trying to hear what I have to say. Your eye is single to the deception, making it so you cannot see the truth!” She still had time to keep everything from him. Perhaps if she loved him even j
ust a little, she would keep her secrets. She needed to find out. “Kiss me.”

  He pulled her closer and squeezed her tight in his arms and then pressed his cold lips gently to hers.

  She tried to soak up the love he was showering her with, the attention he was giving her so freely. But it felt so wrong. His kiss became more passionate now, a force to quench his soul’s fiery thirst. He was honest and true. She was deceitful. Maybe, she was starting to feel the passion now? She tried. But no, it was not there. It had never been.

  She pulled back abruptly and shoved his chest. She could take no more of these lies, her lies that corroded away her insides, burning them useless and unrecognizable. Ailia would hate her for this. Soren would hate her for this. She knew it, however, she could not care about their feelings anymore. She should only care that she did not continue to live the lies of her parents and that she was true to herself.

  “I will understand if you do not want to see me ever again after I reveal my secret,” she said, looking away, hiding the appalling reality, which could easily be read in her eyes had Soren only looked more closely.

  “This is not the Lucia I know,” he said.

  “Please, shut up and just let me speak! Do not say another word. I need to think about how I am going to say this to you,” she said, her brows furrowing in deep thought.

  “Very well.” He clasped his hands in front of his hips.

  She wanted to be as direct as possible, so there was no room for any more misunderstandings. “Ailia is the Great Sentinor. I am not.”

  “What?” he said, taking a step closer.

  “My parents named me Lucia so that everyone, including you, would believe I am the Great Sentinor. They did this to protect Ailia, the true Great Sentinor, so she would have a chance at destroying Eiess. They thought that if they created this—illusion, her life would be spared. They used me!”

  Soren’s face paled, but he spoke not a work.

  Her eyes welled up with regrets of her duplicity. Searching his eyes, she saw the moment when he fully realized what had happened. It was that moment he went from loving her to despising her. “Soren, I am so sorry. I just, I…something came over me and I just wanted to be with you. I… I thought I loved you. I wanted to love you.”

  Soren gestured to her to be quiet. “Exactly how long have you known this?”

  “Ever since I met Ailia,” she said. “Before, actually. I was the one who told her who she was.”

  He nodded briefly, not looking at her. “We need to get back now.”

  She nodded.

  He walked over to Volomite but stopped and turned to face Lucia again. “Do you know that I struggled with whether to go with you or not? I felt something for Ailia, but I chose to do what I thought was right. I chose to go with you because I trusted you and because I thought you were—never mind what I thought. I was wrong.” The veins in his forehead protruded, and he pointed a finger at Lucia. “You have not got a single decent bone in your body. Do you know the damage you have caused us? Do you know that Ailia could be captured by the Vikings right now?” His voice was quiet but brutal.

  “I am sorry, Soren,” she said, barely able to speak, feeling truly ashamed of what she had done. “I am so sorry.”

  His eyes turned hard and cold. “I will hear no more words from your lips, for your words are words of dishonesty and deception.” He jumped on his horse and waited for Lucia to mount hers. They galloped down the snowy path in silence, both carrying their own tender burdens and remorseful regrets.

  Lucia knew she could not object and that she was nothing but a problem and hindrance to him now. Her heart mourned the loss of a love that was never truly there and never rightfully hers. And what would she say to Ailia once she met her face to face? She did not want to confront her sister who she had betrayed. No, Ailia betrayed me! Perhaps, if she just let him ride ahead, she could just slip away forever.

  29

  Captured