Oscar Rat's Secret Missions

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  I brought Oscar his portion of pizza, first laying a sheet of plastic on a coffee table. Oscar’s not known for his table manners. We sat and ate for awhile, Oscar scattering crumbs as he tore his pizza apart, stacking pepperoni in one pile andonions in another while playing with the crust.

  “I don’t like this white cheese,” he said, tossing a piece onto the floor.

  “Stop that. Put it in the ashtray or something.”

  “I don’t like to look at it.”

  “Tough shit. Not the fucking floor.”

  Finally, I gave up, picking the white cheese from the rest and throwing it in a wastebasket. Damn it.

  “Thanks, Charlie, old pal.”

  Finally, he got back to his story....