Differential Damsel

threw it down hard against the ground. It shattered, a muffled whumph sounded, and a cloud of dense smoke erupted and engulfed the female Leng Man.

  Sunny fired, but the arrow passed through the smoke and embedded itself in the opposite wall. Differel moved to surround the cloud with Eile and Victor, but as it dissipated she saw that the assassin had vanished.

  "Oh, bother!" She then hissed at a jab of pain.

  Victor and Team Girl approached her. "Are you all right?" he asked.

  Sunny gently took her hand as Eile fished a bandage out of a pouch on her belt. "Yes, nothing serious." She cried out as Sunny pulled the star loose and clamped a hand over the wound. "My pride's hurt worse, letting her take me like that."

  Eile handed her partner a pad and a roll of gauze. "I've never heard of a female Leng Man being seen outside the Plateau before."

  Victor nodded as Sunny applied the bandage and wrapped it tight. "Not surprising, considering that the males consider them chattel and won't let them out of their sight."

  "Still, how'd anyone know if they go around in disguise?" Sunny said. "Wiggle your fingers."

  Differel grimaced from the pain as she flexed the digits, but they moved freely. "Let's table this for another time. We have more important problems."

  "Is she really going to be well?" Victor asked Sunny.

  She stripped off the bloody glove. "Yes, there's no permanent damage, but we need to clean it out real good, and she may need a couple of stitches."

  "There's a village near here," Eile said. "Let's head for it and find an inn or somethin'."

  Sunny crinkled her eyes and smiled. "Sounds like a plan, partner!"

  Differel felt her irritation flare. "Never mind that! Are any of them still alive?"

  "One," Victor replied. "I knocked him out."

  "Good, bring him along. I have some questions for him."

  "As do the Punicae authorities."

  "Sunny and I'll take care of him," Eile said. "You too catch up when ya can." She flashed a mischievous smile as Sunny giggled.

  Differel scowled. "Oh, sod off, you colonial wankers!"

  They both grinned at her temper as they went back outside. She shook her head after them. "Sometimes they make me so mad..."

  "Just like sisters," Victor said. He then grabbed her arm, spun her around, and embraced and kissed her. After a moment's surprise she joined in.

  When they parted they held onto each other. "Thank you for rescuing me," he murmured in her ear.

  "I won't lose you again; ever."

  "Nor I you."

  They embraced for a few minutes longer, but finally Differel pushed away. "We have to get going."

  He smiled and nodded. "Whatever you say, Love."

  She watched him retrieve a pack from the others and sling it over one shoulder. She raked her eyes over his bare back and chest, and felt her heart stammer. "About that reward."

  He paused in the doorway and watched her saunter towards him, a leer on his face. "Got something special in mind?"

  She laid a hand on the small of his back. "There's a fertility sect that puts out a manual similar to the Kama Sutra. It has a technique I find...intriguing." She lowered her hand and squeezed his backside.

  He chuckled. "That's why I married you; I knew our life would never be dull, one way or another."

  She laughed softly as they joined Team Girl in the courtyard.

  +++

  For more information on Sir Differel Van Helsing and the Caerleon Order, see the official site [https://www.sir-differel.com/].

  Back to TOC

  +++

  Bonus Story: Xerox

  Differel Van Helsing sat at a small table in the crowded tavern, waiting for Eile and Sunny to return from the bar with their drinks. They had eaten their fill of stew and garlic bread, and had decided to have one last round of ale before retiring for the night.

  She leaned back, brushed a strand of her stringy lifeless ash-gray hair out of her face, and gazed around the room at the other patrons. Any of them could be their pair of pucks. Despite the similarity in names, those Dreamlands creatures shared only one trait with their legendary Waking World counterparts: they were shapeshifters, capable of assuming any form they were familiar with. Otherwise, they were cunning and vicious predators that used their talent to get close to their prey so they could lure it away to a place of privacy, where they would kill and devour it. She and Team Girl were on the trail of a mated couple that had cut a swath through the heart of the Six Kingdoms. They had finally caught up with them in that remote village and had decided to stake out the tavern, under the assumption that they would turn up eventually to hunt a fresh meal.

  She spotted the Girls weaving through the crowd as they approached, each with a tankard in either hand. Eile was the slender, tough-bodied one, with ochre-toned skin, long seal-brown ponytail, and four thick locks dyed a vivid fuchsia framing her face. Her partner Sunny was softer and better endowed in bust and hip, with a buff-colored complexion, a huge mane of gamboge hair, and granny glasses. Though they looked and acted like party girls, they were her preferred adventuring companions. She trusted them implicitly, and would rather have them at her back than an SAS troop in full battle gear.

  They placed a tankard in front of her as they took their seats, and set the extra in the middle of the table.

  "What's that for?"

  "Ta make the last round last a little longer," Eile replied.

  "We can use it for refills, like a pitcher of beer," Sunny added.

  She pushed her big round-lensed glasses up her nose, a nervous habit of which she was barely aware. "Did either of you see or hear anything that might point to our pucks?"

  "Nah," Eile said.

  "Looks like another bust," Sunny said.

  She frowned in irritation. "There's no reason they wouldn't be here somewhere, not if they believe their disguises are perfect."

  Eile shrugged. "That's kinda the problem, isn't it? We ain't got no idea what they look like."

  Sunny nodded. "Yeah, so identifying 'em's gonna be a matter of analytical skill, and lots o' luck!"

  "That's unacceptable. They'll kill again tonight, and keep on killing until we stop them."

  Eile looked pissed. "Hey! You think we don't know that? Weve been bustin' our butts helpin' you try ta find these freaks, so don't go bustin' our chops, hear?!"

  She sighed. "Oh, bother. You're right, I apologize."

  "Look," Sunny said, "it's been a long, hard day, and we're all tired. Why don't we just go to bed. In the morning we can regroup and replan with clearer heads."

  "What about our ales?"

  "We can take 'em to the room with us."

  Eile gave her a chagrined expression. "Hey, sorry, Differel, I didn't mean ta bite yer head off. It's just so frustrating tryin' ta catch monsters that could look like anyone, even us!"

  "I understand, and that reminds me of something I wanted to talk over. We've been very careful up until now about staying together, but there are still times when we have to separate, if only for a short time. I think we should have a codeword, just in case."

  Sunny positively beamed. "That's a great idea!"

  "Yeah, I agree!" Then Eile flashed a lopsided grin. "How about 'bloody hell'?"

  She considered it. "Mmmm, no."

  "Then, maybe 'adventure'!" Sunny squealed.

  She grinned back. "Definitely not."

  "Huh. What about 'Elissa'?"

  "No."

  "Victor?"

  "Too obvious."

  "Wakiya?"

  "Too short."

  "Mangy good-for-nothing cat?"

  "Too long. But, I have an idea. How about--"

  She stood up, summoned her greatsword Caliburn, and swung it over the table. The blade sliced through their necks, and their heads spun around a few times before dropping onto the table, all the while wearing astonished expressions, as their bodies fell backwards off the stools.

  "Gotcha!"

  The tavern went dea
d silent as everyone stared at her in shocked or horrified disbelief. Ignoring them, she dismissed the sword, sat down, and looked into the heads' eyes. Though the jaws were slack, the pupils focused on her face.

  "You wankers overplayed your parts, and Eile always calls me Diff. Besides, we decided on a codeword three days ago."

  The eyes rolled up into the sockets as the heads dissolved into lumps of gooey tapioca.

  Eile and Sunny approached the table, tankards in each hand. "Sorry it took so long," Sunny said, "the bar was awfully-y-y-y-e-e-E-EEEP!"

  They pulled up short when they saw the remains, and glanced at each other with shocked looks before staring at her.

  "What the freakin' hell happened?!" Eile said.

  She threw them a wry sneer. "Take a wild guess."

  Eile scowled, but she said nothing as she and Sunny stepped over what was left of the bodies and went around to her side of the table.

  "Well, I'll say one thing for ya," Eile said as they sat down, "yer not always subtle, but you get the job done."

  Differel smirked as she raised her tankard. "Thank you kindly."

  Sunny just stared at the lumps and said nothing.

  "Heh, I know how ya feel," Eile said. "Kinda gives me the creeps, too."

  "Actually, I was thinking that now we're gonna hafta leave a really big tip!"

  Differel and Eile choked as they sipped their ales.

  Back to TOC

  +++

  About the Author

  Kevin L. O'Brien was born with a pen in his hand.

  Well, not quite, but he has been writing for as long as he can remember, at least since First Grade. Writing has always been his first, true love, but it hasn't always been his career. He worked for 15 years as a biomedical researcher, then for 3 years as a web designer. However, after 30 years of trying to be published in print with little