Across a Billion Years

  For the sake of that mental image I had of myself as the star of a cool tridim (Tom Rice, Intergalactic Secret Agent), I had to find something to say. And so my mouth kept moving while my brain stalled. What is the one topic you should not discuss with a minority person? Why, what it feels like to be a minority person, of course. One should not risk stomping on toes, rubbing salt in wounds, focussing curiosity on a subject of which the minority person is heartily sick, etcetera. Naturally.

  In horror and dismay I listened to my mouth say to Kelly Watchman, "I've never really had much social contact with androids, you know."

  She was adroit. "There aren't very many of us."

  "No. That's just it. You've always seemed so different that I've felt uneasy about you. I mean androids in general, not you in particular. It's so hard for me to comprehend what it must be like to be android. To be just like a human being in every respect, and yet not to be . . ."

  My voice trailed off stupidly.

  "Not to be really human?" Kelly completed for me.

  I was appalled. "Something like that."

  "But I am human, Tom," she said mildly. "At least, in every legal sense. That's been through the courts and settled. Whether you're conceived in a womb or in a vat, you're human if you have the human chromosome pattern, and you aren't if you don't. I do and I am." She didn't sound defensive or belligerent about it. She was simply stating facts. Kelly can't ever get really emotional, no matter what her chromosomes are like.

  I said, "Even so—I don't need to explain this to you, Kelly—most people have this thing about looking upon androids as—well, not quite real."

  Kelly said serenely, "Perhaps it's simply envy. The fact that we don't age, that our predictable life-span is three times that of naturally conceived humans, must stir some hostility. I myself came from the vat in 2289, did you realize that?"

  Nearly ninety. As I guessed.

  "It's partly that," I conceded. "But there's more. It's that we created you. That makes you—this isn't how I feel, you understand, but I know plenty of people who do—that makes you somehow occupy a rung below us in the order of things."

  "When a man and a woman create a child, do they therefore look upon it as something inferior to them?"

  "Sometimes they do," I said. "But that's a side issue. Conceiving a child naturally is one thing. Making life in a laboratory vat is another. It's almost godlike."

  "And so," Kelly said, "you godlike ones show your godlike natures by feeling superior to the artificial humans you create. Even though androids outlive you and outperform you in most ways."

  "We feel superior to you and inferior at the same time, Kelly. And that's why most of us dislike and distrust you."

  She pondered that. "How intricate you naturals can be! Why must you be so concerned about superiority and inferiority? Why not simply accept all distinctions and concentrate on matters of real importance?"

  "Because," I said, "it's in the nature of human beings to boost their own heat by chilling on somebody else. In the old days the victims were Jews or Negroes or Chinese or Catholics or Protestants or anybody who happened to be a little different from the people around him. We don't discriminate that way any more, mainly because races and religions and customs on Earth have become so tangled and mixed up that you'd need a computer to tell you who to be prejudiced against. Now we have androids. It's the same thing all over. You androids live longer than we do, you have better-looking bodies, you have all sorts of superiorities, but we made you, and so even though we're jealous of you we can take some pleasure out of telling android jokes and keeping androids out of our fraternities and that sort of stuff. Part of the prejudice thing is that the victim has to be somebody weaker than you in numbers, but somebody you secretly admire or fear. So people used to think that Jews were smarter than ordinary people, or that Negroes were more graceful and agile than ordinary people, or that Chinese were able to work harder than ordinary people; and so Jews and Negroes and Chinese were envied and despised all at once. Until it got so that everybody had a little of everybody else's genes, and so you couldn't think that way any more."

  "Perhaps," Kelly said, smiling coolly, "the solution to the android-discrimination problem would be to create some sickly, ugly androids!"

  "They'd just be the exception that proves the rule, Kelly. The only real solution would be to make androids capable of reproduction, and then intermarrying all over the place. But they say that the development of the fertile android is at least five hundred years away."

  "Two hundred," said Kelly quietly. "Or less. Android biologists are studying the problem. Now that we are emancipated, now that we no longer have to be the slaves and beasts of burden you created us to be, we have begun to examine some of our own needs."

  I found those words mightily unsettling.

  "Well, perhaps eventually we'll outgrow some of our sillier attitudes toward androids," I said half-heartedly.

  Kelly laughed. "And when will that be? You spoke the truth: prejudice is part of your nature. You naturals are so foolish! You run all over the universe looking for people to despise. You sneer at the slow-wittedness of Calamorians, you make jokes about the size and smell of Dinamonians, you laugh at the habits of Shilamakka and Thhhians and every other alien race. You admire their unusual gifts and skills, but privately you look down on them because they have too many eyes or heads or arms. Am I right?"

  I felt as if I had lost control of the conversation. I had simply wanted to know what it felt like to be android, to hold such a complex place in modern society —but here I was on the defensive, trying to account for the idiot prejudices that H. sapiens holds so dear.

  What got me off the hook was the arrival of Jan. She drifted into the cabin wearing the pale, ghostly look that people sometimes get after a few hours in the nothing chamber; her eyes were dreamy, her facial muscles so relaxed that she looked like a sleepwalker. Lying in a warm bath of chemicals like that, with your ears plugged and eyes capped, will do that to you. Jan floated in like one of the headless wives of Henry VIII, looked at me, looked at Kelly, smiled strangely, said, "Excuse me," in a silvery, trilling voice, and floated out again. Weird.

  Somehow that punctured the discussion of racial prejudice. We didn't start it again. Kelly began talking about inscription nodes instead, and after a while I said good night and went to sleep. Since then we've spent several evenings together, sitting up late and talking. I think Kelly is using me as a way of avoiding the sticky attentions of Leroy Chang, but I don't mind. With Jan so conspicuously ignoring me, it's pleasant to have Kelly to talk to. And rewarding to discover that an android can be a real person in so many ways. There's an underlying core of calmness in Kelly that nothing can penetrate, and which to me betrays her artificial origin; but above that she's got moods, strong feelings, a sense of fun, sophistication, and a lot more. She tends to be a little defensive about being an android, in an if-you-prick-us-do-we-not-bleed? kind of way, but that's not surprising. I won't pretend that I've shaken off my prejudices. I keep thinking that Kelly is very human, but… and it's that damned but that won't go away. Still, I'm making progress.

  It scares me a little to think that in a couple of centuries there may be intermarriage between androids and humans, with children produced. I wonder why that thought frightens me so much. Because an injection of android blood into our genetic pool may change us, maybe? Improve us? The thought hits me where my prejudices live.

  But I won't be there to see it happen. That's comforting. Or is it?

  * * *

  On that ambiguous note I stopped dictating, ten days ago. It is now close to the end of November, and I pick up this cube again just to add the P.S. that we will be reaching GGC 1145591 in five more days. I doubt that anything significant will happen between now and then, and so I'm going to seal the cube.

  Status remains quo in all ways. Whenever I see Jan, she's with Saul and they're deep in a discussion of the self-cancelling French stamps of 2115, or whatever. Kelly sug
gests I take up coin collecting in self defense. The idea doesn't seem practical. What the zog, I suppose Saul is just the better man. I wish I knew why, though.

  Away with such trivia. The dark star awaits us.

  ELEVEN

  December 12, 2375

  Planet III of GGC 1145591

  We are very much on our own here. And things are extremely strange. I never imagined, when I picked a sedate profession like archaeology, that it would bring me to anything like this.

  We are in a solar system that knows no daylight. We seem bewitched, transformed into gnomes, condemned to scuttle through dark tunnels lit only by a faint purplish glow breaking through from somewhere far above. But there are no tunnels. We are at the surface of the world. This is the condition of life here: unending darkness.

  Even on Pluto the sun brings a sort of light, but not here. The sun of this solar system is a dead star, or rather one that is so close to death that we can sense the intensity of its final struggles. Our mood is subdued. We say little to one another. The petty conflicts that sometimes used to break out among us no longer break out. This place casts a mysterious spell. I feel as if I'm caught inside a cage of dreams.

  The ultradrive crew that brought us here lost no time in clearing out. The cruiser landed on the third planet of the system, which has no name. (We are trying to think of one.) The crewmen unloaded our gear. Then they took off, fast.

  Our rented planetship was waiting for us. It's a little undersized, but it'll do: carrying capacity of twenty-five, passengers and crew. For purposes of calculations the eleven of us count as twenty, thanks to Mirrik's extra tonnage. The ship has a two-man crew. The captain is straight out of bad movies, a veteran-of-the-spaceways type with seamed space-tanned skin and faded blue eyes; he chews some mildly narcotic weed from a Deneb world and goes around spitting everywhere. The weed gives him the smell of a cloying perfume, which is a little at odds with his tough-guy image. His name is Nick Ludwig and he says he's been piloting rental ships for thirty years. He's ferried a lot of chartered cruises of millionaires around, but never archaeologists. The co-pilot is an android named Webber Fileclerk, with the usual glamor-plus appearance. An odd team.

  The planetship is both our transport and our housing, for we have no facilities for blowing bubbleshacks. Whenever we go outside, we have to run through a complete airlock cycle, which is a sposhing pain, and we have to put on breathing-suits. There's no atmosphere on this world. More accurately, there is one, but it's frozen solid. The temperature here runs maybe five degrees above absolute, and everything freezes, hydrogen, oxygen, the whole periodic table. Our suits are insulated, of course, but it would be a quick death if a joint sprang.

  Once upon a time this may have been a fairly decent Earthtype world. It's a little more massive than Earth, and the gravity is maybe 1.25, which is to say enough to slow you down but not anything really uncomfortable. The atmosphere that lies around here in icy heaps was evidently our friendly oxygen-nitrogen mix. A terraforming crew could probably turn this place into a zingo resort planet simply by juicing up the thermonuclear reactions of the local sun until things thawed out.

  The local sun . . .

  We are obsessed by that sun. I dream about it, and I'm not the only one who does. When we leave the ship, we lose track of our purpose and stare at it for long minutes.

  We wear telescopic glasses for a good view. There isn't much to see with the naked eye. We're only 110 million kilometers away from it, a lot closer than Earth is to its sun, but this star is small. And dark. Its visible disk is about one tenth that of the sun seen from Earth. We have to hunt around in the sky to find it, feebly flickering against the backdrop of space.

  GGC 1145591 probably has a million years of life left in it, but as stars go it's on its deathbed. A star takes a long time to die. As it burns up the hydrogen that is its fuel, it begins to contract, raising its density and turning the potential energy of gravitation into thermal energy. That's what happened here, so many billions of years ago that it zaps the mind to think about it. Long before even the High Ones evolved, this star collapsed in on itself and became a white dwarf, with a density of tons per cubic inch. And burned on and on, gradually cooling, growing dark.

  Now, as a black dwarf, it appears through the telescope like a vast lava field. There's the gleam of molten metal, or so it seems, with islands of ash and slag drifting on it. The mean surface temperature of the star is about 980 degrees, so nobody's likely to land on it even now. The ash masses radiate at about 300 degrees, and it's much hotter inside, where the compressed nuclei still generate considerable kick. Even a dark star produces heat, but less and less of it all the time. A million years from now this black dwarf will be dead, just a big ball of ash drifting through space, cold, burned out. The last flicker of light will be gone from this solar system and the victory of night will be complete.

  We do not plan to stay here any longer than we have to. As soon as we trace the asteroid on which the High Ones installed the rock vault, we'll head for it.

  This planet orbits the edge of the asteroid belt. There are thousands of asteroids beyond here, and may take weeks to find the right one. We begin with a very small scrap of information: the globe sequence showing a spaceship of the High Ones landing on a broad plain. From this it has been possible to calculate the curvature of the asteroid's surface; given that, we can compute its approximate diameter. Luna City Observatory helped us with some of this. There's a big margin for error, since we're just guessing at the asteroid's density, but at least we can eliminate 90 percent of the asteroids in the belt because they lie outside our parameters of size.

  Now we're making use of our planetship's scanning facilities. Captain Ludwig has his equipment set up to track the whole asteroid belt; as each asteroid within the right size range comes within reach, he has the ship's computer run an orbit for it. So far he's found a dozen asteroids that seem to fit the specs. We'll scan for another week; then we'll begin to check the asteroids out, one by one. Let's hope we don't find too many more.

  * * *

  I think I'm starting to understand the troubles I've been having with Jan.

  Every three hours somebody has to go outside the ship to set off a flare a thousand meters away. This has something to do with the measurements Nick Ludwig is making—something about triangulation—and I don't pretend to understand it. We take turns doing it, and Dr. Schein insists that we do it in twos just to be safe. This morning, when flare time came around, Dr. Schein said, "Tom, you and Jan suit up and take the flare, yes?"

  It was all right with me, and I started toward the rack where the breathing-suits were kept. But as soon as Dr. Schein had walked away, Jan gave me a poisonous look and whispered, "Are you sure you wouldn't rather go outside with Kelly?"

  "Kelly's got other work to do this morning," I said, not getting the point at all.

  That was this morning. Jan suited up after all, and accompanied me outside in icy silence, and we lit the flare and came back in. But now I'm finally seeing the picture.

  Jan didn't start cooling on me until after the night when she walked into the cruiser's library and found me talking with Kelly. I think Jan believes I've been fissioning around with her, that I'm having an affair with her.

  I swear I haven't given a cough in Kelly's direction, not once. Kelly and I have become good friends, but purely platonic. There can't be anything real between us— and Jan knows it. Kelly just isn't the sort of one-in-a-million android who'd go in for biologizing. Or is Jan jealous simply of the time I spend with Kelly? Sometimes I envy androids. This business of humanity having two different sexes makes for all kinds of headaches.

  * * *

  We now have located seventeen asteroids that are possible sites for the High Ones vault. Captain Ludwig thinks that he's just about checked out the entire belt, but for the sake of caution he wants to keep scanning for three more days, that is, through December 20. Then we'll set out to inspect them.

  Our chances
of actually finding a billion-year-old vault on an uncertainly located asteroid suddenly seem fantastically slim to me. The others probably feel the same way. But we don't voice our doubts. We try not even to think about them. At least, I try. I start not to understand how we ever committed ourselves to such a chimpo scheme. Walking away from the juiciest High Ones site ever found, defying Galaxy Central, running up huge outlays of stash to romp around from star to star—! Archaeologists are supposed to be stable people, patient drudges who stick to their proper work year after year. What are we doing here? How could we have let this happen? Why did we imagine we'd find anything?

  Dark thoughts on a dark world of a dark star.

  Dr. Schein must be thinking similar things. Certainly this quest is out of character for him. The strain shows in his face. We're a little worried about him. He lost his temper at Steen Steen yesterday and really cranked the Calamorian over, just because Steen accidentally turned on a data mixer, fed two streams of info into the computer, and sposhed a couple of hours' work. Dr. Schein got so angry we all were shocked, especially when he said right to Steen's face, "You wouldn't have been here at all if I had had my way! You were forced on me in the name of racial tolerance!"

  Steen kept his/her temper pretty well. His/her tentacles did a little twining movement, and his/her side-mantles rippled in an ominous way. I expected a militant denunciation of Dr. Schein's bigotry to come tumbling out. But Steen had been discussing Christianity with Mirrik earlier in the day, and I guess he/ she was in a Jesus mood, because what Steen said was, "I forgive you, Dr. Schein. You know not what you say."

  A silly interlude all around. But it was disturbing to see our good and kind and rational Dr. Schein screeching that way. He must be worried. I am.