Abducted to Oz

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

  CAN'T STAND IN THE WAY OF LOVE

  "Well, now!" cackled the Witch. "You thought you'd seen the last of ol'Allidap, did you? You were so wrong! Ha ha ha! Now I have you in myclutches once more, and you won't be escaping from me again, I can tellyou! To think, you tried to trick me with a photo of some televisionstar. But you won't be able to fool me again quite so easily, my littlebasket of nuts and bolts!"

  The evil woman had chained Telly to a large black platform and wasstanding over him in a most menacing manner. "You showed me a picture ofsomebody else to make me think I was a ravishing beauty. You lied to me,you electronic hunk of junk!"

  Telly struggled to free himself of his chains, but they proved to be toostrong for him. Giving in, he stopped struggling and tuned in to an oldrerun of _Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color._

  "Let me see now," muttered the false Allidap. "I must think this over. Ihave to do something appropriate to punish you for your deceptive ways.Maybe I should turn you into a candy cane and gobble you up?" Shescratched her chin. "No, that would be much too kind. I must think of apunishment that is more fitting to a ROTTEN, MEAN LIAR such as youhappen to be. Hmmm. Maybe I could transform you into a little brown warton the left foot of a slimy old toad? Or a bucket of rotten peas? Butthat still seems hardly enough punishment for a creepy little crawlerlike you. Oooh! Of all the disgusting luck! If I had only beenmanifested with the ability to read! Then I could find a perfectlylovely little spell to cast on you that would satisfy my need to punishyou!" She stalked to a nearby shelf which was covered with variousbottles of herbs and tinctures. Each of these had a faded yellowinglabel, but none of these labels did her any good. It became clear to herthat the inability to read was indeed a great setback. As she ponderedan appropriate course of action, she heard a rustling sound outside."What is that annoying noise?" she spat. "Maybe your little pal Grahamhas come to let me capture him as well? I will make short work of him,let me tell you! He was a fool to come here!" She stepped lively to thedoor and stamped her way outside. "Okay, little boy!" she called. "Iknow that you are out here someplace! Come on out of hiding. Trying totrick me will only make it worse on yourself. Come to me quietly, andlet us get this messy ordeal over with quickly. Being that you are sofond of reading Oz books, I think I will turn you into a copy of_Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz_. Then, as a book does me no good, I willtoss you into my fireplace and watch you burn!"

  There was no reply.

  "I see," sighed the Witch. "So you want to make things difficult, doyou? Well, I am willing to go along with your silly little game ofhide-and-go-seek. But just remember, my fine and dandy little gentleman,that once I do find you, I will not be so lenient on your crummy hidinglittle hide!" As she searched the scraggly brush that surrounded herhome, she grew more and more agitated. "You may be a pretty good hider,"she bellowed. "But I'll get you in the end, you just wait and see!" Shesearched for a solid half hour before she decided that Graham was not tobe found. "The little fruitcake must have run off in fear and horror,"she determined. "Well, I will concern myself with his punishment someother time. Right now, I have the television set to attend to. I willmiss my soaps, but I think it's high time I put that nasty old creep inhis proper place. I think I'll make him into a nice bowl of lumpyspider-flavored oatmeal and have him for a snack." So saying, shesauntered back into her home. Once inside, she was met with a sight thatmade her more angry than ever. There, on either side of the platformwhich held Telly captive, were the two huge jungle-cats. The CowardlyLion was trying in vain to unshackle Telly's chains. The Hungry Tiger,who had been standing guard, saw the enemy and instantly prepared tospring on her. "You'd better leave us alone, you yucky old Witch!"growled the Tiger threateningly. "We are taking Telly to the realEmerald City to meet the real Queen Ozma. Once Ozma hears what you'vebeen up to, she'll transport you to some place where you can never causeour beloved Land of Oz any further grief!"

  "Is that so?" chuckled the Witch, quickly regaining her bearings. "I'dlike to see the stumbling, demented child queen try that! Maybe I shouldturn her into a toadstool to show you that I am the all-powerful onehere. Your foolish little girl is no queen! She's just a flimsy excusefor a bad one-liner. In fact, you know what I'm going to do to her? Ithink I should enjoy making her into a little sugar cube and drinkingher in my tea. But first, I think I should take care of you little kittycats. I have heard a story about a little brat named Sambo who made sometigers into butter. I think this tawny scrawny beast would be a finespread for my toast. Yes, I think that should be quite delicious. Andthe little lion could become the toast! How delightful it would be toeat the two of you together!"

  The Lion was visibly shaken by this idea. "I d-d-don't want to bet-t-toast!" he bellowed fearfully.

  "And I will not become a pat of butter, either," added the Tiger,quickly springing on the antagonist and knocking her over.

  The Witch struggled for a few minutes and finally freed herself, only tobe knocked over a second time by the Lion, who had summoned up a fewgrams of courage in just the nick of time. "You pestery creatures!" sheblurted. "You filthy rotten haggard beasts of bumbling stumblingstupidity! I will see you both destroyed and I'll laugh about it, yourotten dirty crummy hateful old things!" Summoning in her rage astrength she had never before known, she hurled the Lion on top of theTiger. Then, grabbing a huge net, she threw it over the two of thembefore they had any time to move out of the way. "Now I have you all, mydearies! All three of that foolish kid's friendies! And I'll see you allinto your demises right now!" the Witch said in a whisper. She was aboutto carry out this threat when there was a knock on the door. "Oh, dratit all!" said the Witch. "Who could that be? If it's your sillyScram-Graham, I'll allow him the honor of watching me destroy all of therest of you!" She went to the door. There, she saw a strange creaturelooking at her and wearing a painted smile on his face. "What thedickens are you?" she said. "You look a little bit like a troll, but youhave a horse's body growing out of your waist."

  "I am a sort of horse-troll," he replied. "But that is not importantright now. What is important is that this may be your lucky day!"

  "My lucky what?" asked the Witch, not quite understanding.

  "Is this the home of Bastinda Slinky Myrna Evillene Allidap?" asked thestranger.

  "Er ... I guess so," replied the Witch.

  "Splendid!" replied the ranchero. "And would you happen to be BastindaSlinky Myrna Evillene Allidap?"

  "I think so," she said, not sure she remembered all of those names thatwere being applied to her.

  "Delightful!" said the stranger. "Then I am here, Ms. Allidap, to tellyou that today is the luckiest day of your life!"

  "Is it?"

  "Indeed so! Ms. Allidap, you were selected out of the five hundredbillion applicants to receive a prize of twenty-seven million dollarsand thirteen cents! And, since you were home when I arrived, you may beeligible for more prizes!" He turned around and whistled through histeeth. "Oh, boys! She's here. Bring in the cameras." A small, horse-likecreature and a young man with a television camera in place of a headcame running up. "Oh, good. You're here. Mr. Camerahead, let's get somegood footage of our lucky winner in her home. Let's go inside. It willlook more natural if our winner is in a comfortable place on her sofa."

  "But ..." began the Witch. "But ... I didn't even know there was a TVstation in Oz."

  "Well, of course there is," said the horse. "Where else would Ozitesturn to see their favorite Rankin-Bass Oz cartoon episodes?We are broadcasting from the peak of Some Summit. Now, come on, let'sbe lively about this. We haven't got all day. We have a commercial toshoot for _The Ozmapolitan_ newspaper at ten after three."

  "Why don't you stand here in front of your television set?" suggestedthe camera man. "But we'll have to unchain it from this thing here. Thiswon't look pleasing to our television audience."

  "No!" raged the fake Allidap. "Leave that alone!"

  But the camera man, who had come equipped with some heavy-duty metalc
lippers, had Telly freed in no time at all. "Now, my dear Ms. Allidap,"said the centaur. "Please stand still and try to look surprised. If thisall goes well, you may be eligible for an all expense paid trip to WaltDisney World in Tampa, Florida. That's in the United States, you know.So it may be possible for you to meet the President and give him anyadvice you might have for him."

  "But.... Hey...." stuttered the Witch.

  "You want him to butt some hay?" said the horse. "I think I'd rather eatit than butt it. But to each his own. I think we need some extra colorin this place. It looks too gloomy." She picked up a bucket (which hadbeen carried in by the centaur) in her teeth and began to splash somerainbow-colored paint all about the room, some of which went directlyinto the Witch's eyes. Allidap tried to cry out in rage, but she onlygot some paint in her mouth.

  "This looks great!" said the camera man. "The color really adds a lot.The people watching will be happier to see it than the gloominess thatused to be here. Now, let me see... Let's have some creative banter. Ms.Allidap, can you look excited and happy? Come on, let's see thatbeautiful smile."

  "Yes," added the centaur. "And hop up and down screaming, 'I won! Iwon!' if you think you can handle it."

  The Witch was having trouble following all of this--especially with thepaint in her eyes that made it impossible to see anything around her.But she did like the thought of having won something, so she did herbest to do as they asked. When they seemed satisfied with their TVfootage, they bid her a fond adieu and scurried out the door.

  Once a good distance from the Witch's home, the camera man took off hismask. Of course, as you may have already guessed, it was actually Grahamin disguise. And with him were MacDonald Lindsay and Jeanne-Marie. Theplan had worked, and they had rescued not only Telly, but also theCowardly Lion and the Hungry Tiger as well.

  "I want to thank you," said Telly, "for coming to our rescue that way.That was a clever trick, making the Witch think you were there to puther on television. I wouldn't have actually wanted to televise an imageof her, as it might damage my picture tube, but it worked."

  The Cowardly Lion and the Hungry Tiger thanked them as well.

  "I think we should be looking for the real Ozma," said Graham. "TheWitch will eventually be out hunting me down again."

  "A good thought," agreed the Hungry Tiger. "We shall go and find herstraightaway."

  The centaur looked solemn. "I would so love to meet our dear ruler," hesaid. "But I fear I may be in for a rude visit from those wartfrogs, andI think I should be there when it comes to pass. However, I will joinyou in the Emerald City as soon as I have sent the wartfrogs away forgood. I will be sorry to be apart from this dear unicorn, however. Wehave been talking, and we agree that we belong together. I will beanxiously looking forward to seeing her again very soon."

  "No," replied Jeanne-Marie. "I shall come back to the farm and help youto rid yourself of those former employees of yours. Then we shall traveltogether to the Emerald City."

  This was a sad parting for all, after all of the adventures they hadshared together. But it was as it had to be. So they all said theirgood-byes and parted, and the two equine-type creatures headed in onedirection and the four mismatched friends in the other.