The Fortunes of Philippa: A School Story

  CHAPTER VI

  MISCHIEF

  "When Greek meets Greek, then comes the tug of war."

  The celebrated Dr. Johnson is said to have advocated the theory, "Whenyou meet a boy, beat him! For either he has been in mischief, or he isat present in mischief, or he is about to get into mischief!" In thecase of the two younger Winstanley boys, I fear this axiom was only tootrue, since they sometimes allowed their love of fun to lead them intorather questionable undertakings, and I do not think their neighboursaltogether appreciated the many jokes and escapades with which theysought to enliven the holidays.

  There resided in the village High Street a certain elderly bachelor, aretired sea-captain, of somewhat autocratic manners and a very greatidea of his own importance. Dick and George had once ventured into hisgarden in quest of a runaway puppy, and had been met with such a stormof wrath from the fiery old gentleman, who threatened to prosecute themfor trespassing, that they had carried on a kind of feud with him eversince. On the captain's side, I have no doubt, there were manyreasonable grounds of complaint, but the boys, on the other hand,considered themselves to have just cause of grievance. Their enemy hadbeen seen deliberately to wipe off the treacling mixture which they hadsmeared upon the trees to attract moths, though the said trees weresituated on the public highway, and not on his private property; he hadput an impassable fence of barbed wire round the particular field wherespecimens of the Clifden Blue might occasionally be captured, and he hadclipped his brambly hedge, allowing the prickles purposely to fall andremain in the cinder-path below, though he knew it was the short cut bywhich they bicycled from Marshlands to the railway-station.

  "Hoped we should puncture our tyres, no doubt!" said Dick indignantly."By sheer good luck I saw them in time, and we carried our machines thewhole length of the lane. But it was a sneaking trick to play, and we'llbe even with him. We owe him a good long score now, and I have it in mymind to just jolly well pay him out."

  Needless to say, neither Mr. nor Mrs. Winstanley were aware of thesefell designs against old Captain Vernon, with whom they had alwaysmanaged to keep on excellent terms of neighbourly good-will, and,knowing full well that their schemes would be promptly forbidden if theyventured to divulge them, the boys seized the opportunity when "themater" and "the governor" were out at a dinner-party to carry intoexecution their plan of revenge.

  Edward declined altogether to be a party to the deed.

  "Beastly bad form, I call it!" he yawned. "You don't catch me leaving adecent arm-chair to go ragging an antiquated old fossil of asea-captain. As for you two girls, I suppose you can do as you like, butdon't let the mater catch you at it, that's all!"

  And, stretching out his long legs on a second chair, he took up a copyof Punch, and resigned himself to ease and comfort.

  "That's all jolly well for the fifth form," said Dick, "but it's alittle too good for us chaps. We're off now, and if Cathy and Phil liketo join the show, they can, and if they don't, they may stop at home andhem dusters."

  It was extremely naughty of us, but we wanted so much to see whathappened; so we thought if we followed the boys at a discreet distancewe should not be exactly aiding and abetting, and yet we should come infor a full share of all that went on.

  It was a dark evening, with only a fitful gleam from a watery moon whichoccasionally showed itself behind the driving clouds, and the unlightedvillage street seemed quiet and deserted.

  The captain lived in the end house of an old-fashioned red-brickterrace. Though he had a good garden at the side and back, hisfront-door and the bow-window of his dining-room were flush with theroad, and by flattening our noses against the glass, we were able topeep through a crevice in the red curtains and watch him, as he sat in aparticularly easy arm-chair, with a cigar between his lips and anewspaper in his hand.

  "Looks much too comfortable!" muttered Dick. "Just wait till I'm readyand we'll make him sit up!"

  He had been cautiously fastening a piece of cobblers' wax to the centreof the window-frame. This wax had a hole in it, through which a longpiece of string was threaded, having a button at the end, and it was soarranged that the button should hang down over the glass, while Dick,standing under cover of the trees on the opposite side of the road, heldthe other end of the string in his hand.

  "Are you well out of sight?" he whispered. "Don't give the thing away byflapping your skirts about and giggling. Now! Mum's the word, and you'llsee some sport!"

  He pulled the string, and the button tapped smartly upon the window. Itevidently had some effect, for the red curtains were drawn aside, andthe captain peered out enquiringly into the darkness.

  "Unearthed!" whispered George, but Dick gave him a severe pinch forsilence, and pulled the cord again. "Rap! Tap!" sounded the button onthe pane. This time our foe threw open the sash, and, thrusting out hishead, glanced up and down the street, muttering something we could notcatch. We could see him very plainly, his red face and long whitewhiskers outlined against the lamp-light of the room behind, and wecould hear his peculiar husky wheeze as he fumbled with the curtain, andthrust aside a small table which stood in his way.

  "I hope he won't catch cold!" I whispered to Cathy, feeling just alittle compunction when I heard the old man's cough. Perhaps she did,too, for she squeezed my hand; but we were in for it now, as we did notdare to move an inch for fear of betraying the boys.

  Not finding anybody outside, the captain evidently thought he must bemistaken. He closed the window again, carefully drew the red curtains,and no doubt returned once more to the enjoyment of his paper and hiscigar. Loosing his string, Dick crept across the road, and, giving asudden sharp bang on the window-frame, he at the same moment dropped anumber of pieces of glass which he had brought with him, and which fellon the pavement with a resounding crash. Thinking, no doubt, that hispanes were smashed to atoms, Captain Vernon appeared again, in greatwrath and utter mystification when he found that after all no visibledamage had been done. He opened the front door this time, and came a fewsteps into the street, narrowly missing Dick, who had rushed back to hispoint of vantage opposite. He picked up a piece of the broken glass,examined it by the aid of his hall lamp, peered up and down once moreinto the darkness, and finally went in, slamming the door after him.

  "It's my turn now," whispered George. "Just watch me bait the badger!"

  "Haven't you done enough?" whispered Cathy. "It seems rather too bad,and the poor old man is getting so cross!"

  "Oh, do stop, George!" I implored. "I know you'll be caught!"

  "We're not half quits yet," returned George grimly. "You girls alwayswant to spoil things by hanging back. I wish we had left you at homewith Edward. Keep quiet now you're here, at any rate."

  He had a coil of rope with him, and, moving with extreme caution, hefastened one end of it to the captain's door-handle, and the other endto the door-handle of the next house, which was only a few feet lowerdown the street. Then, seizing the knockers, he beat a terrific tattooon both doors and fled. He had hardly gained our sheltering trees beforethe captain appeared on the threshold, uttering some veryuncomplimentary remarks, varied by perfect explosions of coughing. Asthe rope had been allowed to hang rather loosely, he was just able toopen his door, but at that identical instant his neighbour also desiredto investigate matters, with the effect that no sooner did he open _his_door, than it drew the rope so tightly that the captain's door wasbanged to with great violence. In a fury of rage he pulled it openagain, which had the result of shutting his neighbour's, and for a fewmoments the two doors opened and closed as if they were worked by awire. It really looked very funny, and in spite of our guiltyconsciences we nearly choked ourselves with trying to laugh noiselessly.I think a faint giggle must have escaped us, or perhaps the victims ofour practical joke suspected that somebody was trying to play a trickupon them, at any rate both doors were hastily slammed hard, and all wassilence.

  "Good old Babe!" whispered Dick, when he had recovered his breath. "Yourdodge went even better than mine! B
ut I say, we can't leave ourapparatus over there! We must manage to fetch it somehow!"

  They slipped across the road again, Dick to remove his lump of bees'-waxand the button, and George to untie the rope; but they had countedwithout their host. The captain had evidently scented the plot, and waswaiting for them, for from the bedroom casement above descended aperfect deluge of water, as though the whole contents of a bath had beensuddenly emptied on to the pavement below. Almost blinded for themoment, and drenched to the skin, the boys beat a gasping retreat, whilesuch extraordinary sounds of mixed chuckling and coughing proceeded fromthe open window, as to lead us to suppose that the old man was exultingin his triumph.

  We kept this adventure a dead secret. Cathy and I felt rather ashamed ofourselves, and, as Edward had hinted, we knew Mrs. Winstanley would havebeen greatly annoyed if she had discovered that we had made use of herabsence to play such very questionable pranks, especially in thevillage, where we might so easily have been seen and recognized. Whetherthe captain suspected us, we could not tell; if he did, he said nothingto the squire, probably thinking that on the whole he had had the bestof it, and that as he could not prove us to be the culprits, it waswiser not to push his advantage too far.

  The next event in the feud was really a very innocent one on our part.Even the boys on this occasion were quite guiltless of any evil intent,and I think the fault lay with the old captain's hot temper. It was amost lovely September afternoon, and we decided that nothing would benicer than to take our kettle and tea-things, and after a ramble roundin search of blackberries, to picnic in any suitable spot where wemight happen to find ourselves when the pangs of hunger assailed us.

  "Always allowing that George doesn't insist upon getting hungry beforefour o'clock!" said Cathy. "He'll have to wait if he does. And don't lethim carry that basket, or you'll find the cake half gone! You take it,Philippa dear, and give him the kettle instead."

  "Fibs!" said George. "I wouldn't touch the tuck. I'll carry them both ifyou like, and Cathy's satchel as well. Here, sling it over my back! NowI call this returning good for evil, Madame Catherine, when you've justbeen slanging me so hard!"

  "Poor old Babe!" said Cathy soothingly. "You see, when people earn a badname, it is apt to stick. But to console you, we'll let you choose wherewe shall go this afternoon; only make up your mind quickly, for we areall ready and waiting."

  "All right!" said George promptly. "Up the common, and round by theoak-wood; there's a stream there where we can get water for the kettle,and I know a place to camp in that's just A1."

  We set off without further delay, and scrambled up the hill-side on tothe heathery common, where the blackberries were already ripening faston the low brambles. It took a considerable time to fill the largemilk-can which we had brought for the purpose, although there were fourpairs of hands hard at work; and I don't really think a very great manyhad gone into our mouths, in spite of the suspicious stains roundGeorge's lips.

  "Hullo, it's after half-past three!" cried Dick at last, looking at hiswatch. "If we want to get to the oak-wood, and then light a fire andboil the kettle, it will take us all our time to get tea by fouro'clock, I can tell you!"

  So, mounting the stile into the lane, we set off in the other directiondown the hill, and by climbing a steep wall found ourselves at last in apretty little wood, carpeted with soft green grass, and with a clearstream running through the midst.

  "Here's the place!" said George, pointing to a kind of natural arbour,formed partly by the bank, and partly by the roots of a huge oak-tree,the branches of which stretched far overhead, and made a green roof withtheir interlacing leaves. "I found it out once when I came here alone,and I put these logs inside for seats. It makes a ripping summer-house,and I made up my mind we would have tea here some day. Well, what doyou say to it?"

  We were all enthusiastic in our approval, and Cathy and I set to work atonce to lay out the tea, while the boys collected sticks for the fire,and filled the kettle at the brook. The thought that we were trespassingnever entered into our heads. The Winstanleys knew all the farmers andthe land-owners about Everton, and were accustomed to go where theypleased without thinking of asking leave. Being country bred they couldbe trusted not to trample on springing crops, disturb young pheasants,or in any way do injury to other people's property. We were quiteunaware, also, that the plantation belonged to old Captain Vernon (I amnot sure whether the knowledge would not have added a zest to ourenjoyment!); and though we knew he owned a considerable amount of landin the district, we imagined this particular wood to be part of thepreserve of a neighbouring squire, with whom the boys were on veryfriendly terms, and who had often taken them for a day's grouse-shootingon the moors. Cathy and I arranged the tea-cups most artistically,laying flowers and fronds of fern between them, with the cakes and thebread-and-butter piled up in graceful pyramids in the centre. It lookedvery tempting, and we all waited with some impatience for the kettle toboil; but it was a case of the watched pot, for the sticks being ratherdamp, the fire gave out more smoke than heat, in spite of Dick'sdesperate efforts to fan it with a piece of newspaper.

  "I'll fetch some bracken. They've been cutting it lower down," hedeclared. "That'll be dry enough at any rate, and ought to help it alittle. Get up, George, you lazy-bones, and bestir yourself, or wesha'n't have any tea to-night!"

  The boys were not long in bringing back a large pile of withered ferns,and stoked the fire to such good purpose that the kettle was soonboiling briskly. Cathy had the tea ready in the pot, and Dick was in thevery act of pouring in the water, when we suddenly heard a tremendouscrashing a little higher up in the wood, and whom should we see bearingdown furiously upon us, his red face redder than ever with rage, and hislong white whiskers waving in the wind, but--the captain, followed byhis equally crusty old gardener!

  "What are you doing here, you young scoundrels?" he roared, flourishinghis riding-whip as he ran, and interspersing his words with gusts ofcoughing. "I'll teach you to trespass on my property! Burning my woodand spoiling my grass! Boys or girls, you're one as bad as another, andI'll spare none of you! Come on, Johnson, we'll give them a lesson!"

  Whether he would actually have done so, or whether he only meant tofrighten us, I cannot tell; but he did not get the opportunity, for,dropping the kettle, Dick seized my hand, and dragged me down the hillat such a breakneck speed that I could scarcely keep on my feet, whileGeorge and Cathy raced behind as if they were possessed of seven-leaguedboots. With the old captain's angry shouts ringing in our ears, wescrambled somehow over the fence at the bottom of the wood, and neverstopped running till we were quite a long way up the high-road, andwithin a safe distance of Marshlands again.

  "DICK SEIZED MY HAND AND DRAGGED ME DOWN THE HILL"]

  "Of course we weren't in the very least in a funk for ourselves,"explained Dick afterwards. "If it had only been the Babe and myself,we'd have stayed and tackled them both, and enjoyed the fun, but Ithought the old madman was going for you girls, and the best thing to dowas to clear out of his way as quick as we could. Is he gorging on ourtea and cakes, I wonder? It would be like his cheek. Perhaps he'll annexthe tea-cups, too, while he's about it."

  But the captain was honest as regarded our property. That same eveningthe old gardener arrived at the back-door, and with an imperturbablecountenance handed our baskets to the astonished cook, stalking awaywithout uttering a word, in spite of the many questions she hurled athis head.

  After this the boys declared it was war to the knife. They had notintended to do any harm in the wood, and therefore, they argued, thecaptain's action was quite unjustifiable; and as he had shown intentionsof not confining the use of his riding-whip to his own sex, he hadforfeited all claim to be treated as a gentleman, and his conduct mustbe repaid with interest.

  This time they did not take Cathy and me into their confidencebeforehand, though from various dark hints we imagined they must havesome scheme of revenge brewing in their minds.

  They came home one evening brimming ove
r with satisfaction.

  "Done him at last!" chuckled Dick. "It was the Babe's idea, too, notmine, so I won't take the credit of it. You know the old duffer has agorgeous pear-tree at the end of his garden; well, we just stood in thelane outside with our catapults, and shot pellets into the pears as hardas we could go. We've been wiring into them all the afternoon. Fancythey'll taste a little gritty when he comes to eat them! Too bad? Not atall! Serves the old beggar right!"

  Cathy and I, however, felt somewhat uneasy, thinking the boys had gonerather too far.

  "If the captain finds out who has done it," said Cathy, "and complainsto Father, they'll get into the most dreadful row. He can be terriblyangry over some of their scrapes."

  We waited rather anxiously for further developments, and they were notlong in coming. On the very next day a large basket of pears wasdelivered at Marshlands by the old gardener, "with Captain Vernon'scompliments".

  "How very kind of him!" said unsuspecting Mrs. Winstanley. "He has neversent us a present before. They are finer than anything we have beenable to grow for ourselves."

  The pears were brought in at dessert, and remarkably ripe and lusciousthey appeared. I thought the boys looked a little conscious when theysaw them placed upon the table, but they hid their feelings under a maskof would-be unconcern.

  "These are some of Captain Vernon's pears, my dear," said Mrs.Winstanley, passing the dish to the squire. "He sent such a politemessage, saying he thought we should like to taste them."

  "They must be his early Bergamots," said Mr. Winstanley, choosing aparticularly fine one, and slicing it. "I know he's very proud of them,and boasts that he can beat all the gardens round. Hullo! What's this?It looks as if the pear were riddled with shot!"

  "Perhaps they're the seeds, they often look black when they're ripe!"suggested George hastily. He and Dick were eating apples, and Cathy andI had also declined the offered delicacy.

  "Seeds! You don't find pips made of lead! I tell you they're pellets,though how they came inside the pear, I can't imagine. Hand me the dish,and I'll try another."

  The next was in like condition, and Mrs. Winstanley's and Edward'splates told the same story.

  "There's something queer about this!" said the squire, cutting into histhird pear. Then, suddenly catching sight of the air of elaboratenonchalance which the boys were rather overdoing, "You young rascals!"he roared. "I verily believe this is your handiwork!"

  I will draw a veil over the explanations which followed. To Dick andGeorge they proved extremely unpleasant, as Mr. Winstanley was reallyangry. He had little patience with practical jokes, and especiallydisliked to give any cause of offence to his neighbours, so he insistedupon marching both the boys off then and there to make their apologiesto Captain Vernon.

  "And if he likes to horse-whip you, he may do so," he declared. "AndI'll stand by and watch it done, and say you deserve it for a couple ofmischievous young jackanapes!"

  To the great surprise of all concerned, however, the old captain "turnedup trumps". Bursting into a roar of laughter, he declared he had had thebest of the joke, shook the boys warmly by the hand, and proclaimed anamnesty. He even did more. Next day he sent us a beautiful basketful ofhis best wall-apricots as a peace-offering, and permission to pickblackberries in his fields if we chose.

  "It's ever so decent of the old chap," said George. "We certainly didrag him rather hard. But I've promised to catch the moles in hisgarden--I'm a capital hand at setting mole-traps--and he says if I liketo come and scare the birds from his autumn peas, he'll lend me anair-gun, and I can blaze away all day if I want."

  It was a very satisfactory conclusion to the feud, and I think the boyswere glad it had ended thus; for by the next holidays the poor oldcaptain's cough no longer resounded through the village, his garden knewhim no more, and other and younger faces looked out from hisred-curtained windows.