The Carved Cupboard

  CHAPTER XVII

  Elfie's Choice

  'Go, whate'er the lot may be That my Father sends to me, Never am I comfortless With His Word to aid and bless; And while He His help is bringing, I will cheer the way with singing.'--_Farningham._

  Gwen refused to have her breakfast in bed the next morning, andappeared downstairs at the usual hour with a white determined face.

  She looked in astonishment at Elfie, who was flitting round the roomsinging merrily, as she added fresh flowers to the vases on thebreakfast table.

  'Well,' said Elfie, a little defiantly, 'I am not going to bemiserable, even if we have lost our money. There is no death in thehouse, and they say beggars have lighter hearts than kings!'

  And she would not have breakfast a silent meal, but chatted andlaughed, and had so much to tell Gwen of all that had happened duringher absence, that she infected the others with her light-hearted gaiety.

  It was after Agatha had done her housekeeping that, sitting round thefire, Gwen gave them full details of all they wished to know. She didnot spare herself, and her sisters wondered at the change in her, fornever before in their lives had they known Gwen to own herself in thewrong. Then ways and means were discussed, Agatha declared she wouldsend away the two maids at once, and then with the help of a woman fromthe village, she was sure they could still live together on her income;but this the others would not hear of.

  'I would set up a village shop if I had capital,' asserted Gwen, with alittle of her old spirit; 'the _role_ of governess for needy women ispast and gone; but for myself I know I shall not do better than stickto literature. I can write, and I have had many openings which I haverefused, because I did not want the grind of it. If I set to work inearnest now, I shall soon bring some grist to the mill.'

  'By the bye,' said Agatha, 'I wonder if you could make anything of afat bundle of manuscripts that Mr. Lester bequeathed to me. I know youlove any ancient papers, and though they're Latin and Greek to me, youmay make something of them.'

  She left the room, and soon returned with the papers. Gwen's eyesglistened as she looked them through. And she seemed to forget timeand surroundings as she sat down and pored over them with eagerinterest.

  At last she looked up.

  Agatha, if I can put these together, it will prove a valuable legacy.Will you hand them over to me? There will be months' work, but it willbe well worth the labour. I know some men in London would give youhundreds of pounds for some of these papers, but I shall not let themslip out of my hands.'

  'I am so glad you will be able to make something of them,' respondedAgatha simply. 'He said I might make what use I liked of them, so Iwillingly give them to you.'

  'So Gwen's livelihood is secured,' said Clare, trying to speak lightly.'Now let me tell you what I propose to do. The other day Miss Villarsasked me if I knew of any lady who would undertake the post of matronto a small Convalescent Home for clergymen's wives and daughters. Itis a private one that Miss Villars has started herself. She said shewanted some one who was quite a lady, and who would be able to makeevery one feel comfortable and at home. The salary would be about 50pounds. She said she would only give the post to some one who wasreally needing the money. I believe she would give it to me at once ifI told her how things were with us, and I should like it. I mean to goover to her this afternoon and ask her about it. Well, Agatha, don'tyou approve? Do you think me too incapable for the housekeeping?'

  Clare finished her proposal rather wistfully, and Gwen looked at her inwonder. She had noticed, as perhaps the others had not, the greatchange that had passed over the wilful, capricious girl during the lastsix months. There was a subdued tone in her voice, but a glad light inher eye and a quiet restfulness about her manner that had been utterlyforeign to her before.

  Clare had come through the refining fire, softened and purified; shewas a little quieter than she used to be, but every now and then herold, clear laugh would ring out, and if her moods were not so mirthfulas Elfie's, they were quite as bright. Quietly and unassumingly shehad slipped into the way of giving her help whenever it was needed, andnow when Agatha contemplated the possibility of a coming separationfrom her, she began to realize how much she would miss her. Theconversation continued, and then Elfie put in her word.

  'And now what in the world am I to do? Will you agree to letting me goup to London and play to the public? I could get pushed on byProfessor S----. He told me in Germany he could give me several verygood introductions, if I wished to make music my profession. There isreally nothing else I am good at.'

  No one would hear of this suggestion, and later in the day Agathaconfided to Gwen a little of her anxiety about Alick Lester and Elfie.

  'I do not think it is fancy. He is a great deal here--more than Ilike--and now he has no eyes or ears for any one but her. I do notknow whether she likes him; I notice she is self-conscious and absorbedwhen he is here, and that is not at all natural to her.'

  'What prospects has he?' asked Gwen abruptly.

  'I don't know. I sometimes wish I knew a little more about him. Eversince he has opened the cupboard, he has had something weighing on hismind, and though he tells me he has only about 200 pounds a year tolive upon, he seems in no hurry to get anything to do. It is an idlelife for him in this small village. He is with his cousin most of histime, but he drops in to see us in the evening; in fact, they both comehere a great deal, and though Miss Miller has put her veto on it,nothing will keep them away.'

  'I wish Elfie would marry. She is not fit to fight life's battle;' andGwen sighed as she spoke, and her face relapsed into its now habitualgloom.

  But the next day brought a letter that decided Elfie's fate.

  She opened it with a grimace at the handwriting.

  'Now what does Cousin James want to say to me! Do you think he hasheard of our misfortunes?'

  She read on, and her face grew thoughtful. Instead of handing it overto any of her sisters to read, she left the room with it in her hand.

  And in the privacy of her own bedroom she spread it out before her, anda hard and sore battle commenced in her heart.

  The letter was as follows:--

  'DEAR ELFRIDA,--

  'I have just heard in the city from Watkins, that your clever sisterhas squandered out in California, all the money that was left you byour aunt. It is a pity that you are all so wilful and ignorant aboutmoney matters. However, I am quite willing to come forward and offermy help, though in these hard times, with such an establishment as DaneHall to keep up, I find it increasingly difficult to live within myincome. Your cousin Helen is in very delicate health, and has for sometime past felt unequal to managing our large household. She needs somebright companionship; and I now offer you a home with us, on conditionthat you make yourself generally useful, and relieve your cousin of allthe house-keeping details that fret and annoy her. I shall allow you ahandsome allowance for dress in addition, as I shall wish to see yousuitably dressed for our position here. Let me hear how soon you cancome, and I will arrange that you shall be met at the station. TellAgatha I commend her for her prudence in refusing to let her money beused for speculation. I hope it will be a lesson to Gwendoline in thefuture. Her self-confidence needed to be shaken.

  'Your affectionate cousin, 'JAMES DANE.'

  Elfie read and re-read this through in a mist of tears.

  'O God,' she murmured, 'anything but this! I cannot go. It would beslow torture! Do Thou guide and direct me, and help me to decide; butoh, if it is possible, do Thou open another door for me!'

  Poor Elfie knew well enough that if she asked her sisters' advice, theywould be all agreed as to the impossibility of her accepting hercousin's offer. She knew her Cousin Helen would not make her house ahappy or an easy home to live in, for she was a weak, nervously-strungwoman, with an irritable temper and an abject fear of her husband,whose will was absolute law. And in the secret depths of Elfie's heartthere was a strong disinclination, even though s
he would not own it toherself, to leave home at present. Though Alick Lester had not saidmuch to her, she knew well enough what his state of feelings were abouther; his frequent visits were becoming very pleasant to her, and toleave it all, and perhaps never see him again, was hard to contemplatecalmly. He often talked to her of going abroad, and she feared hemight do so at once, were she gone. Yet, as she looked the matterstraight in the face, she could not but acknowledge to herself that shehad no right to refuse it.

  'I will not live on Agatha's money; she would share her last crust withany of us, but I am young and strong, and this has come when I amlooking out for employment. Many a girl would be thankful to have sucha home offered her. I must go and do my best, and I must decidemyself, without listening to the others. But oh, it will be a hardlife after our happy little home together here!'

  The battle was won after she had knelt in prayer, and when she joinedher sisters again she was her sunny self.

  But when she let them read the letter, they were all indignant at thethought of it.

  'I should think you would rather sweep a crossing than go!'

  'To be a dependent on Cousin James, and a member of his household,would be more than flesh and blood could stand!'

  'Can you imagine the life of Cousin Helen's companion?'

  And so on, until throwing back her little head importantly, Elfie wasable to protest.

  'I know you won't approve of it, but I have decided that I shall go,and you must look at the advantages and make the best of it if you wantto help me.'

  'You shall never go with my consent,' said Agatha, roused from herusual placidity.

  'Then,' said Elfie, laughing, 'I shall go without it, or rather, Ishall never rest till I have coaxed a consent out of you. Think ofliving in the dear old place we all love so well, in the lap of luxury,with nothing to do but dress well, and eat well, and order the dinners,and see that the servants do their work properly! And hasn't it justcome at the right time, when my future was so unsettled? Now if Claresucceeds in her plan we shall be all provided for, and life will gosmoothly again. And we must comfort ourselves with the thought that weare only paying visits away from home, and perhaps next Christmas wemay get together again!'

  She rattled on, and then ran out of the room to hide the little chokein her throat, and her sisters looked at each other in bewilderment.

  'I never could have thought Elfie would have entertained the idea for aminute,' said Agatha; 'she cannot have the same feelings we have aboutCousin James if she can so calmly accept his offer. But she was awayin Germany, I remember, when it all happened. I suppose it is ratherattractive to her than otherwise. She does not know Cousin Helen as wedo.'

  'She has no proper pride,' said Gwen, with flashing eyes; and then shepulled herself up.

  'Well, I have driven her to it. That will be consolation to me!'

  'She talks very lightly of leaving home,' said Clare. 'I wish I hadher happy way of looking at things. Nothing seems to trouble her.'

  It needed a great deal of coaxing and persuasion to bring her sistersround to her way of thinking; but Elfie was allowed at last to send offher letter accepting her cousin's offer, and none of them ever knew howmuch it cost her to do it.

  Her sunny temper and light-hearted mirth often hid a good deal offeeling; but, like many others with such a disposition, she never gotthe credit of taking life seriously.

  'She is such a child,' Agatha would say; 'she will be happy in anycircumstances. I am thankful she does not feel things deeply.'

  And so none but One above knew the scalding tears dropped in secret,and the terrible sinking of heart with which she viewed her future.

  Clare went over to see Miss Villars in the afternoon, and after a longtalk obtained the post she coveted.

  'You know,' she confided to her friend, 'since I have felt sodifferently about things, I have been longing to do some work for God.It is very pleasant living at home, but it is an idle life, isn't it?With Miss Miller's energy, and Agatha aiding her in all the villagework, there is nothing left for me, and I long if I can to influenceothers for good.'

  'I am so thankful to hear you say so, and doubly thankful to think ofyou being in a position to influence others of your own class. Theyoung people at the convalescent home will be so much more likely toconfide in you, and be impressed by what you say, from the very fact ofyour being young yourself, and not beyond all the innocent pleasures ofyouth.'

  'But,' said Clare depreciatingly, 'I am such a beginner; that is theone thing frightens me--my want of experience. And I am still verymoody, Miss Villars. Don't smile; I do think at the bottom of my heartmy restlessness and discontent is gone; but some days everything seemsblack, and I wonder if I am a real Christian after all. I wish I hadyour feelings.'

  'Oh, these feelings!' said Miss Villars, with a little laugh. 'Youwill be better, my dear child, when your life is more filled up, andyou have so much of others' troubles and pleasures to think of, thatyou will have no time for your own.'

  So Clare came back with her future settled, and the sisters were verybusy for the next few weeks making preparation for the two departingones. Alick and his cousin were in and out, and the former seemed toget doubly depressed when he heard that Elfie was going away. Yet upto the last his tongue seemed tied, and it was not until she wasactually in the railway carriage that he said a word. He had insistedupon seeing her off, and Agatha, fussing over the luggage, was notaware that anything passed between them.

  Holding Elfie's hand tightly in his own, he said huskily and withemphasis:--

  'You won't forget me? I shall see you again; and meanwhile, believe Imean it!'

  That was all that was said, but the two understood each other, andElfie leant back in her seat, as the train steamed out of the station,with joy throbbing through her heart.

  'I shall not be at Cousin James' long, I am sure,' she repeated overand over to herself; and so bravely and cheerfully she took up her newlife, and her letters home were so bright and amusing, that both Agathaand Gwen thought that she was perfectly happy and well.