Idonia: A Romance of Old London
CHAPTER IX
TELLS HOW I CHANGED MY LODGING AND LOST MY MARE
I mind me of a sad play once I saw, that is played now in a duke'spalace, and after in a glade within a forest, where one of the persons,a noble youth whom his presumption hath caused to be banished from hismistress, saith, "Hope is a lover's staff; walk hence with that." Theplay is called a comedy because it ends upon delight, yet after a worldof heaviness encountered, and such thwarting of wills, as makes oneweep to behold. And perhaps when all's said, we do wrong to nameanything of this world tragical, seeing we cannot look to the end ofit, and indeed sometimes (one must suppose) a play is but half playedout here, and that the sad half with all the tears. 'Tis another handmanages the curtain, and, alas! that the too soon dropping of it hathmade many to say in their hearts, "There is no God."
Much in this kind occupied my brain, when at length I was partiallyrecovered after my continued and grave sickness. I still lay abed,taking babes' food and physick, and asking no questions, being yet tooweak for that, and so that I were left in peace, careful for noughtelse. My body might have been another's, so little did it appear toencumber me; a certain lightness and withal a sense of freedom from thecommon restraints of life possessed me. I had, as it were, overpassedthe lists of experience, and become truly a new creature. In thissecurity and enfranchisement of my spirit I found an infinite, and myonly, pleasure in speculating upon the meaning of things I had never somuch as called in question hitherto, and then first perceived how widea gulf lay betwixt that a man may be and that a man must do. I saw allbad but what rests still in idea, and bitterly condemned thenever-ending hurry of effort and business by which the course of lifeis fouled, upward almost to her source.
This exalted mood lasted I think about a week, during which time I hadgot to so high a pitch of philosophy as I cannot now think on forblushing; settling my notions after my own fashion very conveniently,and mighty intolerant of those currently held. But afterwards, thatis, about the tenth day of my clear mind, I suffered myself to descendsome way toward common sense, which to my surprise I found not sodisagreeable as might have been. Certain 'tis I still saw all in amist of phantasy, and different from what it truly was; but,notwithstanding, it marked my first motion of health, and a recovery ofmy heritage in the world. Once set on this road, I soon grew to berestive of the remnant of malady which yet kept me weak, and began tofear I should ne'er be able again. At times I would be melancholy andfret by the hour at my pitiful lot; then again would fall to piecingtogether the events that had preceded this my disease, but could notget them orderly, or at the least, not whole.
At such a time it was that suddenly and without premonition, my memoryrecovered the picture of that fair maid bending over me and murmuring,"_Dear heart_!" I leapt up in bed on the instant, and would have hadon my clothes before any could hinder me, had not my impotence held mewithout need of other prevention, and I sank back all dismayed.
Henceforward my mind had matter enough and to spare with the thoughtsof her alone. If I desired life now it was that I might continue tothink of her and of her manner of saying, "_Dear heart! how chill heis!_" and "_Lo, the hurt he hath, poor lad!_" I swore I would notexchange those two sentences for a barony, nor the look that went withthem for a prince's thanks. That word of thanks brought me to a wonderhow I might compass the tendering of my thanks to the maid herself,whom (now I recollected it) I knew not so much as the name of, nor yether place of lodging. This consideration greatly staggered me, and hadnigh sent me into a fever again. But I told myself that it was verycertain I must find her in time (and being young, time seemed to be acommodity inexhaustible), and so for that while the fever held off.However, I had still intervals of despair which were black enough; buthope ever ensuing and at each return in larger measure, upon thebalance I found comfort. And thus, responding to the text of the oldplay I have before set down (though I had not then seen it played), Ialso might have cried, "Hope is the lover's staff," and with that tolean on I determined to walk thence without further delay.
Such were the interior passages (to call them so) of my sickness thatwas now quite passed; for, with hope at length steadfast with me, it isclear I lacked nothing of my perfect health, excepting only what strongmeat and sunlight would soon bring.
And so it was I felt myself ready to go upon a certain discovery I hadin mind (and did presently put into execution), which was to determineprecisely where in the world I might be! For the whiles I had lainidle this question had intermittently perplexed me: my chamber beingvery narrow and low, and bearing, I thought, small likeness to my roomin Mr. Malt's house, of which the window was a large and latticed one,whereas this I now had was little and barred. My meals, too, wereserved by a woman I could not remember to have seen; a pleasant,bustling body, with a mouth widened by smiling and eyes narrowed byshrewd discernment. But what troubled me more than all was apersistent sound of water lapping about the house, which led me tosuppose I was somehow lodged upon an island; or else in the prisonbeside the Fleet River--though I thought this could not well be.
Using more precaution, then, than I had done previously, I got out ofmy bed, and sitting on the edge of it, was soon half dressed. Theexercise fatigued me but slightly, and as soon as I had my clothes oncompletely I ventured across the floor (that was about an ell inwidth), and leaned forth between the bars of the window...
I burst into laughter at the easy resolution of my doubts, which thefirst view thence afforded me. For I was upon London Bridge, in one ofthe houses that are builded thereupon, on either side of it. Below melay the narrow bridge-way that is spanned across by divers arches(which be houses too), and is full, at most hours, as it was when Ibeheld it, of people that cheapened stuffs and trinkets at the boothsthere set up, or else hastened on, north or south continuously.
'Twas the strangest sight by far I had yet seen; this littlemarket-world above the waters, so straitened and fantastick, and withalso intent and earnest upon its affairs, with never a thought to thegreat shining river (its very cause and origin) that flowed scarce twofathom beneath it. I stood awhile fairly entranced by the prospect,and followed with my eyes every motion and frolick adventure. Thus,there would be a fine lady that bought an infinite deal of scarletcloth, and a pannier-ass that, in turning, struck it from her arm andunrolled the length of it, so that the ass continued on her way graveas any judge, with her hoofs upon the cloth like a spread carpet, whilemy lady stood by, bewailing her loss. Then there would be a company ofhalberdiers that went by at a great swinging stride to quell some riot(I heard one say) in Southwark by the Bear-garden. By and by, withmore noise, comes there a score of mariners that had left their galleyin the Pool, and after their late hardships on the sea seemed gone intoan excess of jollity, and sacked the shops for toys. Grey-hairedmercers that stood and conversed in groups, and coltish apprentices inflat caps and suits of blue I noted, and otherwhiles dancers andmountebanks with a host of idle folk following.
So engrossed indeed was I, that I did not hear the woman, that in themeantime had entered my chamber, calling upon me to return to my bed;until at length she enforced her command with a buffet on my shoulder.
"Thou art but a graceless lad to be chilling thy marrow at an openwindow," she cried; yet I could see she was rather pleased thanwrathful to find me there.
"Nay, I am whole again, mistress," I answered quickly, and then lookingforth again, cried, "But who be those that go by in a troop, with greatbonnets on and red coats?"
"Why, who but the Queen's yeomen?" she said, and stood beside me tocatch a sight of them. "Ay, and there goes my husband's brother attheir head, their sergeant, and a proper soldier too, that hath seenservice abroad."
"Whither go they?" I asked, breathless for the pleasure I took in thisbrave show.
"To the Tower, lad. But now, back to your couch, or at least to achair, for the goodman would speak with you."
"How came I to this house?" I asked, when I had left the window, "for Ireme
mber nought of the matter."
"Enough of words," she laughed pleasantly. "And enough too that you behere, and your rantings and ravings o'er. I tell you we were like tohave had the watch about us for harbouring a masterless rogue, soimpudently did your sick tongue wag; and that at all hours of the nighttoo."
She went away soon after, still laughing; for which I blessed her; itbeing a comfortable exercise to laugh, and as comforting a sound tohear. I was full dressed, and expecting the good Samaritan her husbanda while ere he came, which when he did, I found he was a man of briefspeech and one to be trusted. He began by asking how I did, and when Itold him I was quite recovered and thanked him for his charity, he putup his hand.
"I did no more than your hurt required," he said. "'Twas fortunate wehad this room to lay you in, and a good physician near at hand upon theBridge. But now tell me (for I think it necessary I should know it)how came you wounded?"
I told him all simply, seeing no reason why I should not, and the wholeaffair of my uncle; to which he listened in silence, his eyes on myface.
"My name is Gregory Nelson," he said, when I had done, "and of thisBridge, where I have my lodging, I am one of the wardens. You may bidehere as long as you list, Master Cleeve, seeing that by this hellishrobbery of Skene's you should be nigh penniless, as you be also leftwithout friends to help you, unless it be that Mr. Malt accountshimself so."
"I pay him for my lodging," I said, "but cannot claim any friendshipwith him."
"Have you any goods left at his house?" he asked me, a little as thoughhe smiled inwardly.
"Some spare apparel I have there," I replied, "and a parcel of linen orso, besides my mare."
"Seeing that you have been absent so long," said Master Nelson, "andwithout warning, you may chance to find your chattels sold under asheriff's warrant against charges proved. Nay, that is lawful," headded, seeing I made a motion of dissent, "and indeed you have beennear three weeks a truant."
This disclosure shocked me, and particularly when I reflected that myfather had no knowledge of anything that had occurred to me, nor yetwhere I now lay. Two things I did therefore with all speed, firstwriting a full account of the attorney, how he had robbed me, and of myillness so much as I thought necessary; and secondly, going to FetterLane in the hope to recover my goods. On this errand the warden wouldby no means suffer me to go alone, and I for my part was very glad ofhis arm to lean upon, as I was also of his companionship by the way.
In discourse I found him to be something more blunt than complacent,and moreover to have set his notions, as it were, by the clock of hisprofession. Thus, I chancing to speak of the great mansions of thenobles that were frequent upon the bank about the Bridge-end, andmaking mention of their power that lived therein, he answered me prettyroundly that I was out.
"If there be two or three wise heads amongst them," said he, "there betwo or three score otherwise disposed. 'Tis a common error, master, tobelaud all alike and merely because their honours be similar. But Isay, let her Grace ennoble any the least considered merchant on Change,and nought should go worse for it, but rather the better. I sayfurther, 'tis in the shops and among the great Companies of the Citythat England's worthies are now to be found, and her advancement liethless in the Great Council to be debated on, than in Cheape to beaccomplished. But enough!" said he, with a little shake of his head."I am a servant of this City, and perhaps it is for that I have a biasof thinking well of what the City doth. Yet few will be bold enough todeny that we owe much to our great citizens and merchants, as to SirRichard Whittington in the old days, and later to Sir Thomas Gresham,that very praise-worthy knight; not forgetting Mr. Lamb that broughtsweet water in a conduit to Holborn; nor Mr. Osborne, which was Mayortwo year since, and now is Governor of the famous Turkey Company bycharter of the Queen established."
"And what of the Queen's Grace herself?" quoth I, for my humour was nota little tickled at this decrying of those in high estate, whose wisdomand guidance we be commonly taught to extol. But at the Queen's nameMr. Nelson had his cap off immediately.
"God bless her," he said very reverently, "and give her a mind toperceive her own and her realm's, true good. And so He doth!" he brokeoff vehemently, "and hath made her to be the greatest merchant of themall! Ask Master Drake, else, whose partner and fellow-adventurer shewas when he sailed from Plymouth with but five poor ships, and returnedthence with such treasure of the Spaniards as it took two whole days todischarge upon the quay."
In such converse we walked on, I straitly considering of these thingshe told, whether indeed those mighty lords, whose names were ineverybody's mouth, were truly of less account than men trading in silkand furs and spices, as he would have me believe; and whether, also,overmuch service with the City Sheriffs had not worn out an esteem forgreater folk in this honest stout warden of London Bridge.
When at length we arrived at my old lodging in Fetter Lane, Mr. Nelsonsaid he would not enter, but would await me in the street, and so Iwent in alone. I found Madam Malt in a chamber behind the shop, withher daughters, and very busy upon a great piece, of needlework. Shelooked up swiftly as I entered, but never a word she spake.
"I come to make account of my prolonged absence," said I, something outof countenance for this unlooked for rebuff.
"Judith," said her mother, sharply, "go see whether my babe wakes yet;Allison do this, and Maud do that," said she, and so emptied her bowerof the maids at a word, and left me standing.
"Lord!" quoth I low to myself, "I am come into the garden of theHesperides surely; yet I wist not that the Dragon was mother of them."But aloud I said, "I am bound to thank you for the hospitality youextended to me, Madam, the which I cannot well repay."
"I thought no less," replied the lady, without raising her eyes fromher work, "and therefore made application for distraint, which beinggranted, I sold such stuff as you thought fit to leave and was not pastlaundering."
"But there was my mare too," I cried.
"Ay, the poor jade," said she, "the knacker put a price upon her, butit reached not to the value of a feed of oats, so I cried quits andkept her."
"Then you have her yet?" quoth I.
"I have her not," quoth she, "for I gave her a gift to the parson ofSt. Dunstan's Church that hath been very full of encouragement to us inour trouble."
"Your trouble, Madam?" I began, but she proceeded with a terriblequietness--
"'A preached a singular comfortable sermon two Sundays after yourstealing off, upon the text, 'Happy shall he be that rewardeth thee asthou hast served us,' as would have melted the most shameless, Mr.Denis."
"Let us hope it did then," said I, pretty tired of this oblique attack.
"He was not of the congregation, sir," she blazed out, her eyes on mine.
"He was," I retorted, "for he both preached the sermon and hath mymare. But he shall give her me again, or else I will take her byforce."
"Ah, you would despoil the Church then, you heretick Turk!" cried thelady in a thin, hissing voice that befitted the Dragon I had formerlycalled her in my thoughts. "Was it not enough that you should creepinto a Christian household and steal all peace therefrom? What of thelooks you were ever casting upon my tender Judith, and she so apt ather catechism and forward in works of grace. Your mare, quotha! Whatof her pretty beseeching ways that no man hath seen but saith she israther Ruth than Judith--ay, and shall find her Boaz one day, I tellyou, in despite of your heathen wiles and treachery. So, fetch awayyour beast from a churchman's stall, 'tis easy done every whit as get asimple maid's heart; and then off and abroad, while she weeps at home,poor lass! that is so diligent a sempstress withal, and her father'sprop of his age."
Whilst she was delivering this astonishing and very calumnious speech,Madam Malt had arisen from her chair and now stood close above me,wringing her hands that yet kept a hold of her piece of needlework, andshaking with rage. She was a marvellous large woman, with a facesomething loose-skinned about the jaw, and of a buff colour thatmounted to
a brownness in the folds and wrinkles. Her voice, as I havesaid, was very dragonlike, and her whole aspect and presence hadsomething of an apocalyptic terribleness that seemed to draw the cloudsabout her as a garment. I see her yet in my dreams and awakeshuddering.
Once or twice I strove to interpose a denial in the flood of herindictment, and to exonerate myself from her load of false charges, butcould nowise make myself heard, or at least heeded, and so gave itover. Indeed, how all would have ended I know not, had not the infantin a lucky hour awakened and lamentably demanded sustenance; whereuponJudith running in (who I am persuaded had got no further than behindthe door-chink), the lady's thoughts were by the intelligence that herdaughter brought, most happily diverted from me. Judith regarded mewith one wistful glance, and then in the wake of the Dragon as sheswept from the room, this last of the Hesperides departed from me forever.
I stood some time very downcast, knowing not what to think, when thedoor opening a small space, Mr. Richard's head was thrust in, his eyeswinking with merriment.
"So you have returned to us, Mr. Prodigal," he whispered, "and haveheard moreover how we take your leaving us so without ceremony as youdid. Nay, be not melancholy, man," he went on, coming beside me andlaying a hand upon my shoulder, "for we that use the playhouse and thejolly tavern understand these things well enough. No need for wordswhere a nod sufficeth. But the women would have no men roysters, goodsouls! nor hardly allow us the stretch of a lap-dog's leash to gambolin. Eh!" he sang out in a pretty good mean voice, although from hislate drinking not well controlled:
"'Better place no wit can find Cupid's yoke to loose or bind.'
But come you with me, Mr. Denis, one of these nights; for we be much ofan age, and should sort handsomely together, if I mistake not."
It lies upon my conscience now, that I neither thanked him for hisintention, which I am sure was friendly meant; nor yet kicked him outof door for his manifest profligacy. But as it was, I went straightpast him, looking him full in the face the while, and out of the house.His cheeks turned a sort of yellow white at this insult and at thesurprise of it, while his hand slipped to his belt for the sword hecommonly wore, but he had it not by him, as indeed he was all unreadyand his whole dress disordered after such a night spent as he supposedI should be willing to join him in another, the like of it.
I found Mr. Nelson without, who leaned very thoughtful against a postby the door, and by my countenance I showed him plain enough the upshotof that business.
"'Twas no more than I conceived likely," he said. "These hiredlodgings be all one."
Finding nothing convenient to return, I held my peace; and so we walkedslowly along Fleet Street, and over the hill by Paul's, to my new abodeupon the Bridge.