Hot Mama
Rather like Jasper’s pale skin. I really, really hated gray.
“How would you like some clothes instead?” I asked. “I happen to know a designer who does incredible work. She makes men’s suits that are to die for. Very bold. Very colorful. Just the thing for you to entertain prospective clients in. Or to wear for a night out on the town with your lady. I’m sure my friend’d be happy to outfit you with a whole new wardrobe.”
Jasper just blinked.
———
Ten minutes later, Lulu and I left Jasper’s brownstone.
“I can’t believe Jasper agreed to waive his two million dollars for a closet full of clothes,” Lulu said, maneuvering her wheelchair down the sidewalk. “I think Jasper’s taken one too many blows to the head recently. Or all the radioactivity is making him go soft.”
“It’s much simpler than that, Lulu. The truth is that everybody wants to look good,” I said in a smug tone. “Even mad bombers. And they’re not just clothes. I plan on outfitting Jasper with the finest menswear Fiona Fine Fashions has to offer.”
Bobby saw us coming. He hopped out of the front seat and opened the side door of the van. Too impatient to bother with the chair lift, I picked up Lulu and deposited her in the van, along with the precious case of Jasper’s bombs.
“Did you get everything you needed?” Bella asked from the driver’s seat.
“And then some,” I said, slamming the door shut. “Now, let’s go take those bitches out.”
28
We drove through the streets of Bigtime in silence. It was early, and most folks hadn’t yet started their commute into the city from the outlying suburbs. Most of them probably hadn’t even had their first cup of coffee yet. The sun was just creeping above the tops of the skyscrapers that housed the Exposé and the Chronicle.
I took the opportunity to eat the emergency bucket of food I had stashed in the van. It was mostly junk food, stuff like candy bars and peanut butter crackers that would keep forever. But all that sweet, sweet sugar was more than enough to give me a boost of energy for the big battle ahead.
I wasn’t psychic like my father or Carmen, but I had a feeling I’d need it.
We pulled into the long drive that led up to the observatory a little after six-thirty. We didn’t see anyone. No cars climbing up the hill. No buses pulling in with sleepy, cranky students. Even the guardhouse at the bottom of the steep hill was empty, although the door looked like it had been ripped off its hinges, along with the gate that blocked the road up to the observatory. I wondered if that’s what Siren had needed the others for—a little extra muscle.
But other than the mangled gate, everything else seemed normal, and the place was deserted. Except for two maniacal ubervillains lurking around somewhere. Plus, my hoodwinked teammates and the man I loved.
Bella drove the van to one of the garages attached to the side of the observatory. She parked on the lowest level, out of sight from anyone who might be watching from inside.
The only other vehicle in the garage was a small SUV bearing the colorful SNN logo. I rattled the door. Locked. I put a little muscle into it, yanked the whole thing off, and set the crumpled metal aside. I rustled through the interior of the vehicle, but there was nothing inside besides your usual assortment of bad CDs, gum wrappers, and empty fast-food cartons.
“Anything?” Lulu asked, smacking her computer, which sat on top of Jasper’s case of bombs on her lap.
“Nothing. But at least we know they’re here,” I replied.
“Something wrong over there?”
“Stupid case,” Lulu muttered. “I’m trying to pull up the blueprints that I downloaded of the observatory, but the radioactivity from Jasper’s bombs is interfering with my laptop. The case he gave us isn’t quite as secure as it looks.”
“Why don’t you let me hold on to those?” Bella asked, sliding the case out from under Lulu’s computer. “It might be better for us all.”
“A little luck certainly couldn’t hurt,” I quipped. “As long as it’s good.”
Bobby laughed. Bella glared at her grandfather.
“All right, folks, gather round,” I said.
My three troops clustered near me.
“Okay, here’s the game plan. I go in first. Every single time. If we run into Siren and Intelligal, you guys stay back out of sight. Let me take care of the ubervillains. If the situation gets really desperate, Bella can toss me a couple of the bombs so I can even things out. I said it before, and I’ll say it again—I don’t want any of you trying to play hero. That’s my job. Under no circumstances are you to engage Siren or Intelligal by yourselves. Agreed?”
I looked at each one of them in turn, giving them my I’m-a-powerful-superhero-so-don’t-even-think-about-messing-withme look. It seemed to work, because they nodded.
“Okay then. Let’s go get our boys back,” I said.
———
We took a few minutes to get our gear together. Lulu passed out the earplugs Henry and my father had been working on and hooked them into her laptop. Like our other equipment, the earplugs were equipped with microphones so we could all talk to each other. Then, Lulu piggybacked her computer onto one of the electrical boxes that lined the empty parking structure. She started to disable the alarm, but someone had already done it.
“Hermit,” I said. “That’s what Siren needed him for. She probably got Mr. Sage and Johnny to move the gate, then let him do the rest.”
Since Hermit had done the hard part already, I opened one of the metal doors that led from the garage to the observatory, and we scuttled inside.
“Where do we go from here?” I asked Lulu in a hushed voice.
Normally, I would have gone in fireballs a’blazing, but I couldn’t risk alerting the ubervillains to our presence. Not with the others following behind me like ducklings waddling after their mother.
“According to my calculations, they’re probably in the main auditorium,” Lulu whispered. “That would be the most logical place to set up the VAMP device. And if I remember correctly, that’s where SNN usually does their live feeds from.”
“Then that’s where we go.”
The four of us made our way through the silent, empty halls. A few of the interactive displays flickered to life as we passed, spewing out facts about the observatory and other scientific babble about stars and planets and black holes. A couple of heated jerks from me, and the machines died a painful, fiery death. We stopped at the edge of one of the observatory’s main crosswalks to catch our breath and get a little more direction.
“Time?” I asked.
Bella checked her watch, which looked like a smaller, female version of Johnny’s, complete with wings. “Ten minutes until seven.”
“We need to keep moving,” I said, pushing away from the slick marble wall.
After some more slowgoing, we reached the auditorium.
I moved the others back down the hall. Then I dropped down on my stomach, slid forward, and stuck my head around the doorjamb.
We’d guessed right. They were all inside. Siren, Intelligal, Johnny Angel, Mr. Sage, Hermit, and the same weary cameraman I’d seen the night of the observatory benefit. My eyes flicked over my fellow superheroes. They looked no worse for wear, even though their eyes and faces were as blank and smooth as sheets of glass.
My gaze lingered on Johnny, and my heart squeezed in on itself. He looked fine, physically. I just wondered what the toll would be when Johnny realized that Siren had roped him into doing her bidding. That he’d tried to kill me and take over the city on orders from one of the women he hated most in the world.
As for the ubervillains, they stood in the middle of the auditorium in all their foul glory. They must have felt supremely confident in their dastardly plan, because they didn’t even have their masks on. I looked at Erica Songe and her geeky scientist sister, Irene. I’d been right on that count too. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Didn’t they know something always went wrong with the best-laid plans of ubervillains?
&nbs
p; And here they were without their masks on running around for the whole world to see.
I shook my head. Ubervillains just weren’t as classy—or as smart—as they used to be. Frost certainly would never have tried to take over the world without wearing his mask. Neither would Scorpion or Mad Maria or any of the other colorful certifiable characters I’d battled over the years. If things went wrong, as they so often did, then they wouldn’t have their real identities to protect and hide them.
Erica’s, Siren’s, ego was definitely as big as her overinflated chest.
Intelligal fiddled with switches on the VAMP device, which sat on the auditorium stage. Her face was set in its usual dour expression. You’d think she would have been a little happier about her Frankenstein machine finally coming to life. Every once in a while, a loud squawk would fill the air. A series of wires snaked across the floor from the radiolike object and plugged into the SNN camera standing in the middle of the empty auditorium, along with some lights. I eyed the machines and wires. I’d definitely have to do something about those.
As for Siren, she used the fancy VAMP microphone to berate and bark orders at her hypnotized cameraman about the hot lighting ruining her makeup. At least, that’s what she did when she wasn’t cuddling up to Johnny and rubbing herself against him like a cat in heat. She purred something into his ear. The tramp. Johnny stared blankly ahead, as if he couldn’t even feel Siren’s slutty hands roaming all over him.
I hoped he couldn’t. More than that, I hoped he wasn’t enjoying it, dazed though he was. My own hands clenched into fists. A couple of sparks shot up in the air. I was so going to enjoy reducing Siren to a crimson stain on the floor and throwing her ass in jail.
I watched them for a few more seconds before sliding back out of the auditorium into the corridor.
“Well?” Bobby asked in a low voice, his eyes bright. “Are they in there? Is Johnny with them? How does he look?”
“Easy, easy. They’re all in there. Siren and Intelligal are fiddling with the VAMP machine. Johnny and the others are fine, if a little spaced out.”
“So what’s our next move?” Bella asked, clutching the case full of bombs.
I thought. Planning and strategy weren’t my strengths, but improvising was. “We’ll do what we usually do. Or rather, what the Fearless Five usually do. I’ll go in through the front door, and you guys circle around the back. Is there another way to get in there?”
“There’s another entrance on the far side,” Lulu said, pounding keys. “The one that leads out to the gardens.”
Of course. I flashed back to that wonderful night I’d spent with Johnny out next to the waterfall. I allowed myself to remember. All the hot kisses, the soft caresses, the whispered endearments. Then, I pushed those thoughts, those feelings aside. It was time to put on my game face. My angry, I’m-going-to-kick-your-evil-ubervillain-ass game face.
“Here’s what we’re going to do. I’ll go in through the front door and toss a couple of fireballs at them. While I’ve got Siren and Intelligal occupied, you guys go in the back and get the others out. Don’t forget the cameraman. Stuff the extra earplugs in their ears. Maybe that will bring them around. If the ubervillains try to stop you, somebody throw the bombs at them and retreat with the others. Any questions?”
Everyone shook their heads no.
I took a deep breath. “Then, let’s go.”
———
Lulu, Bella, and Bobby snuck off to skirt around the building and come in through the back of the auditorium. I gave them three minutes to get into position, then eased into the room, crouching behind a row of chairs. Intelligal was still fiddling with the VAMP machine. Siren stood nearby, checking her pale, flawless reflection in a small, compact mirror. I narrowed my eyes. Too bad the Pimpler wasn’t here right now. He’d turn Siren’s smooth face as red and ragged as the top of a pizza in a matter of seconds.
“How much longer?” Siren asked.
Intelligal checked a watch on her wrist. “Five minutes until the SNN studio cuts to you.”
“Excellent.” Siren snapped her compact shut and fluffed out her black hair. “Just think, in a few minutes, we’ll own this city and everyone and everything in it. No more doing stupid live shots of superheroes flaunting their latest triumph. No more skulking around abandoned factories. No more taking insults from Bigtime’s high and mighty. We’ll be the ones in control. Permanently.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Intelligal cautioned.
“Things could still go wrong.”
Siren waved her hand. “You worry too much. Things won’t go wrong. Karma Girl and Striker are nowhere to be found. We’ve taken care of Fiera, and Mr. Sage, Hermit, and Johnny Angel are under our control.”
“Not completely,” Intelligal snapped. “They all balked when you wanted them to take off their masks.”
Siren’s thick lips turned down in a poor imitation of a pout. Her lips had so much collagen in them that it didn’t quite work. “Yes, well, keeping your real identity secret is the very first thing you learn to do as a superhero or ubervillain. It’s ingrained so deep in their subconscious even I couldn’t break through that particular barrier with my hypnosis. At least, not yet. Don’t worry, sister dear. We’ll uncover their identities soon enough. And have the rest of the city’s superheroes and ubervillains eating out of our hands. Let’s talk about something more interesting. What’s the first thing you’re going to do when we take over the city?”
Intelligal spliced two wires together. “Quit my miserable job here at the observatory. Perhaps use some of the other scientists as test subjects. I’m curious as to what the effect of explodium is on a normal human body. Angel’s remains didn’t give me much to work with.”
My eyes went to Johnny. I thought I saw a bit of anger spark to life in his green eyes, but it was quickly swallowed up by the emptiness.
“And you, sister?” Intelligal asked.
Siren tapped a finger on her lips. “I’m not sure. Perhaps I’ll have a little fun with Mr. Johnny Angel here. He certainly has the equipment for it. And I plan on taking certain individuals down a few pegs from their lofty heights. Speaking of Johnnies, perhaps I’ll start with Mr. Johnny Bulluci and his trashy cohort, Fiona Fine. What the world sees in that woman’s fashion designs is beyond me. Yes, I think those two will be the first ones to feel the new city order under Siren.”
I smiled. That was my cue. Siren wanted a dose of Fiona Fine? Well, she was sure as hell going to get it. And then some. I straightened up and stepped into view.
“Oh, why wait another five minutes?” I called out. “Let’s get the fun started now.”
29
Siren and Intelligal’s mouths dropped open so far that their teeth almost hit the floor.
“You… you… you’re supposed to be dead!” Siren shrieked. “Frozen solid like the rest of those fish sticks!”
I winced at the high-pitched sound, grateful the earplugs muffled the worst of it. “If I had a dollar for every time I’d heard that, I’d be even richer than I am right now. But enough chit-chat.” I took aim and lobbed a fireball at Siren.
“I’ve got some ubervillains to get rid of.”
Siren ducked down, and Intelligal soared up into the air.
The fireball sailed right between the two ubervillains.
“You missed!” Siren crowed in a loud voice.
The red-hot ball of fire streaked through the air like a meteor and slammed into the television camera in the middle of the auditorium. The wires and camera exploded like firecrackers. Metal and glass zipped everywhere. When the smoke cleared, all that was left of the camera and the large majority of wires attached to the VAMP machine was a puddle of melted black metal.
“No, I didn’t.” It was my turn to crow. “Oops. Did I break your television camera? So sorry. I think your feed’s been interrupted. Permanently.”
“You’re going to pay for that,” Siren hissed.
“Bring it on, bitch.”
/> An energy ball popped into Siren’s hand, and she threw it at me. I ducked down, and the ball smacked against the back wall of the auditorium. Sparks flew everywhere, and static electricity gathered in my hair and on my fingertips.
Unnoticed by the ubervillains, the door that led to the gardens behind them opened. Lulu motored into the room, followed by Bella and Bobby. Lulu clutched the open case full of bombs on her lap. The Bullucis ran over to the three frozen superheroes and the cameraman and stuffed the Sirenproof plugs into their ears.
I threw another fireball, this time at Intelligal. She zipped out of the way, and the ball burst into flames on the ceiling.
A display of planets hanging there went up like kindling.
Somewhere in the distance, a fire alarm blared to life.
“Turn on the machine!” Siren screamed. “Now!”
Intelligal started to whirl her chair around, but I sent another fireball her way. She turned back to me. I kept lobbing my fireballs at the two ubervillains, trying to give the Bullucis enough time to get the others out the back door. Bella stuffed the earplugs in her brother’s ears and shot me a thumbs-up. She half pushed, half dragged Johnny toward the door, where the others were waiting.
Intelligal saw the sudden movement out of the corner of her eye. Her mouth dropped open for the second time in as many minutes. “Get them, Siren! Don’t let them get away!”
Siren spun, formed an energy ball in her hands, and hurled it through the air with a furious shriek. It seemed to grow in size as it sped through the room, as though all the ambient energy were attracted to it. The ball zoomed through the air toward the others. Right at Johnny’s retreating back.
My heart froze in my chest. Even as I started running, I knew I wouldn’t get there in time to save him. I wasn’t going to be able to save Johnny. The man I loved was going to die.
Again.
Suddenly, Lulu did the one thing I’d asked her not to—she played the part of the self-sacrificing hero and zoomed in front of Bella and Johnny. Siren’s energy ball hit her in the chest. Lulu’s dark eyes lit up with an inner fire, and her arms and legs twitched wildly. Then, the computer hacker slumped over in her wheelchair. The metal case slipped from her lifeless fingers, and the bombs rolled over the floor like shiny chocolate marbles.