The Larsen Sisters 3: All that Jazz

  “Mindy, you don’t have to,” He said and took a deep breath, “I’m the one who should be sorry. I didn’t take it in all well…I didn’t know how to handle it all, I stopped talking to everyone, to you, and believe me, I didn’t mean to. It’s just…It was just that during those moments, seeing you…seeing you reminded me of your…father.”

  I nodded my head, “I’m sorry mom did what she did.”

  “It wasn’t your fault,” He answered, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that before.”

  “It killed me, you know?” I started crying, “Because…because you and I have always been close. You always got me, you were my rock…and then…and then suddenly, it all changed and…I felt alone.”

  “I didn’t want you to feel that way.”

  The maid came and put the drinks down on the table.

  Dad held my hand, “I’m proud of you, Mindy.” He said, “I’m proud of how far you’ve come, of who you are now…And I’m so sorry for not being there for you all these years, for not being there when you needed me the most.” He then stood up and hugged me and I hugged him back. I feel like a little girl, holding on to her father, wishing and hoping that everything will get back to the way they once were.

  He looked at me after we hugged and smiled. I smiled back.

  “You can stay here if you want to,” He told me, “This house is empty now.”

  I smiled, “I’ll visit whenever I can.” I told him, “Wait…what about Dana? Isn’t she living here?”

  Dad shook his head, “No, she’s living alone…We both think it’s a big thing to move together.”

  “Oh,” I muttered. “Dad..well…can I still call you dad?”

  “Of course,” He said, “You’ll always be my daughter. Always. That is, if I could still be your dad.”

  I laughed a bit, “You’re my only dad.”

  He smiled, “So…have you seen Manuel?”

  “Manuel?”

  “Your father.”

  Cripes, I didn’t even know my real father’s name. “Oh, no,” I answered, “I mean, I don’t intend to…”

  “Why…not?”

  “He ruined our lives,” I said, “And besides, I’m fine with knowing you and I are fine.”

  He nodded his head and took a deep breath, “Wait a bit,” Dad said and stood up and made his way upstairs.

  Paul took a deep breath, “I’m sure a heavy weight has been lifted off your chest…”

  I smiled at him, “Yeah,” I answered, “Thanks.”

  “He seems like a good man.”

  “He is.” I answered.

  “You grew up here?”

  I nodded my head, “Yeah, this was home…Well, at least back then. Leigh and I loved playing hide and seek here, I mean, it’s a ginormous house!”

  Paul laughed, “Yeah, yeah, it is.”

  Just then my dad came back and handed me an envelope.

  “What’s—“ I said and then saw what was written on it.

 

  Melinda Larsen

  My mom’s name and our address was written in a loopy handwriting. Beneath were two addresses: the address of this house, and the address of someone named Manuel Aspel.

  Manuel Aspel.

  Manuel.

  My father.

  “He sent that here while you were in rehab,” Dad spoke, “He probably thought your mom still lives here. I didn’t open it and nor did I give it to your mother. I figured this day would come,” He looked at me, “And…I thought that maybe, it’s best that you give it to her…and visit him, if you’d want to. It’s your decision.”

  I nodded my head, “Thanks…” I muttered.

  “Dad,” I started again, “Aren’t you mad at him?”

  He smiled a bit, “I was,” He said, “But then I realized he was the one who lost something. He didn’t see you grow up, he didn’t have the moments I had with you.”

  I smiled.

  “You could have dinner here, I’ll ask Isa to make you your favorite dishes—“

  “It’s okay, dad,” I said, “But I think I’ll pass…for now.”

  He nodded his head and I knew he understood.

  ***

  I opened the door of Leigh’s house and saw Drake and his friend (well, that’s what he said) Cheska plopped down on the couch, watching a movie. It was “Valentine’s Day”, I think.

  “Whoa, hey,” Drake greeted.

  “Hi,” Cheska smiled.

  “Hi,” I shot back, “Guys, this is Paul. Paul, Drake and Cheska.”

  “Hello guys,” Paul greeted.

  “Hey, man,” Drake shook his hand and so did Cheska.

  “You guys already ate? Should I call anyone, anything?” I asked.

  “Oh, we’re fine,” Drake answered, “There’s still pizza in the oven, you can heat it up…”

  “Thanks,” I said, “See you.” I then made my way to the dining room with Paul following me. I sat down on a chair, still holding the envelope.

  “Mindy, you’re tense.” Paul said.

  “I know I am.”

  He held my hand, “Look,” He said, “It will be fine. Listen, why don’t I come by tomorrow and we can go to your mom’s place, wherever that is…What do you think?”

  “Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” I answered, “Strike while the iron is hot.”

  ***

  The following day, Paul and I were in a cab, on the way to mom’s apartment somewhere near 5th Avenue. Mom living in an apartment. That’s quite a shocker.

  When we finally arrived, Paul and I went up the stairs and knocked on room 3-C. A couple of knocks later, Enrique, the stoner, mom’s boytoy, opened the door. He was only wearing a wifebeater and some boxers.

  “Oh, hi,” He said.

  “Hey, Enrique, right?” I said, “Is my mother—“

  “What is it, love?” I heard mom’s voice.

  “Your daughter’s here.” Enrique said.

  “Oh, who? Wait—“ Mom came rushing to the door, her hair in curlers while she was wearing a tight pink robe. “Miranda?” She said when she saw me.

  “Yeah, it’s me.” I said.

  “Oh,” Mom said, “Come in.”

  Paul and I went inside and she told us to sit on the couch. She sat on a chair near the center table. I couldn’t imagine mom living in a place like this. Okay, it wasn’t bad, really, but compared to our old house, dad’s house, this looks like a rat’s hiding place.

  “Who is this guy?” Mom asked, eyeing Paul.

  “Sorry,” I muttered, “Mom, this is Paul, we met in New Orleans. Paul, my mom.”

  “Pleasure to meet you,” Paul extended his hand.

  Mom just smiled, “Yeah, you too,” She looked at me, “Miranda, what are you doing here?”

  I took a deep breath and opened my bag. I handed her the letter from my father.

  I saw how mom’s eyes widened at reading what was written on the envelope, “How did this—“

  “Dad gave it to me.” I said.

  She looked at me then opened the envelope and read the letter inside. I didn’t know what was in there. After a few minutes, her eyes started to well up with tears. She couldn’t look at me for a while.

  “Mom?”

  She took a deep breath and stood up, “Come with me, Miranda.” She said and I followed suit. She led me to their back porch, with a view of some of Manhattan’s shops and café’s. She looked at the surroundings for a little while without saying anything.

  “Mom—“

  “He has cancer,” She said, “This…this letter was dated over two years ago. He has cancer…He said he was sorry, he wanted to see you…”

  “He…what—“

  “I didn’t know,” Mom stifled a tear, “I didn’t know…”

  My father, my real father has cancer. And he might even be dead by now. It’s all too much to take in.

  Mom kept on crying and I couldn’t say anything for a while.

  “I?
??m sorry,” Mom said, “It’s just…I….didn’t know…”

  I nodded my head, “Did you love him?”

  A little smile crept up her face, “He was my first love,” She answered, “We went to high school together, back in New Orleans, and then we went here. And then…and then I met your dad. He was every woman’s dream—rich, good-looking and he was very nice. And so…I left Manuel.” She paused and then, “Then years later, when I was pregnant with Leigh, he came back. His dad met him in this agency and got him as our gardener. Funny how the world works, huh?” She smiled at me but there were tears in her eyes, “I saw him and the very first thing I told him was that he needed to go away. He told me I was being irrational, he needed a job. I told him I’ll pay him just so he could go, he told me he didn’t need my money. And so he stayed and your dad, he didn’t know about Manuel’s connection with me. I got pregnant again, this time, with Caroline, and by then, your dad was extremely busy with work, therefore, I spent most of my time with Manuel since he was at home. After Caroline…that’s when things got rocky between me and your dad. I realized that…that we really had nothing in common, but who was I to throw it all away?” She looked at me, “I know you might not believe me, but I care for my family.” She sighed, “And then it happened. One night, while your dad was away yet again on a business trip, Manuel and I came to talk. He said he still loved me, he wants to make me happy, he’ll do anything…anything to make our dreams come true. We were supposed to get married, you know? We had all these plans but…I met your dad. Manuel cried to me that night. And then…and then, we made love.” She paused, “I was so mad at him the following day, but it was then that I realized that I still loved him, and I was mad at myself for throwing everything we had away. Btu it was too late, I didn’t wanna leave your dad. He had everything, we had everything, Mindy. Manuel told me he’d keep us safe, he’d do anything if only I would come with him. But you know what I did? I pushed him away, I told him to leave. I told him that I didn’t wanna see him again, not ever. And so he went away and I never saw him again. Your dad didn’t find out about what happened between me and Manuel, until your seventeenth birthday…and believe me, Mindy, I’m sorry. It’s just that…that my resentment crept all the way up that day.” She fixed her eyes on me, “I didn’t mean to ruin your life.”

  I merely nodded my head, “Did you love dad?”

  “Yes,” She answered.

  “But not as much as you loved Manuel?”

  “Yes.” She said honestly.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, “Did you love me?”

  She looked at me for a couple of seconds, “Your Manuel’s daughter,” She said, “Our daughter. How could I not love you?”

 

  18

  We’ve all lost something along the way.

  An hour or so later, Paul and I were standing in front of this apartment in the Bronx. My father, Manuel’s apartment. I couldn’t even knock on the door.

  “He might not even be alive,” I muttered as Paul’s hand was on my shoulder.

  “Well, at least we came,” He said, “I’ll knock on the door for you.”

  I just nodded my head. Seconds later, a woman with her hair in shambles, opened the door. She was beautiful, only her face was smeared with grease. Paul and I looked at each other.

  “I’m Miranda Larsen,” I told her, “We’re looking for Manuel Aspel—“

  “Are you his daughter?”

  I nodded my head.

  “Come in,” She said and led us inside the house.

  “I’m Lyla,” She introduced herself as she wiped her hands on her apron, “I’m Manuel’s wife.”

  I couldn’t say anything. There were two children, a boy and a girl respectively, whom I assumed were 8 and 10 playing a train set near us.

  She smiled as she realized I was looking at them, “They’re your siblings. Tyra’s eight and Milo’s ten.”

  “Oh,” I smiled a little. “Where’s—“

  “He’s dead,” She told me, “He died two years ago. He waited for…for you but…you never came.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, “I didn’t know. I was in rehab, and in New Orleans and…I didn’t know.”

  “It’s alright,” She said. “He loved you, you know?”

  “I wish I met him.” I said earnestly. I couldn’t even believe it.

  “You still have your siblings.” She smiled.

  I smiled back, “Can I?” I said and she nodded her head. I made my way to the children and Indian-sat near Milo. “Hi,” I smiled at them, “I’m Mindy, I’m your sister. Can I play with you?”

  “Would…would you want to?” Milo asked.

  “Of course,” I answered and looked at Tyra, “And you?”

  She smiled and I realized how much we looked alike when I was a kid, “I’d love to.”

  I smiled at them knowing finally, one chapter of my life has been cleared. Yes, Manuel maybe dead and I may not have met him, but at least, I still had my siblings. These two little kids who are, and always will be a part of me. And though I haven’t been here for them all their lives, I know it’s never too late for a start.

  19

  Once upon a time, in a galaxy not so different like our own, there was a girl. She was, by her own estimation, a relatively simple sort, yet she believed that she was cursed. Because, for as long as she could remember, boys had always been a disaster. They either fell too hard, too fast, or they didn’t, at all. That’s why she was so surprised to find herself in the company of a boy who made her feel as if the curse had been lifted.

  -Dawson’s Creek

  Paul and I went down in front of Leigh’s house.

  “You wanna come in?” I asked.

  “No, it’s alright,” He smiled.

  “Thank you,” I told him, “For everything.”

  “I love you.” He said.

  I was surprised, yet it all felt good. Like, it was supposed to happen anytime soon. I smiled, “I love you, too.” I said.

  He smiled and held my hand, “Listen, Minds, the people from the recording company called me up and they want me to start recording the first few songs for my album, in LA—“

  “Oh my God, that’s wonderful!” I exclaimed and hugged him, “I’m so happy for you!”

  “I want you to come with me.” He said.

  “What? To LA?”

  “Yes,” He said, “Please? It’s just for a couple of days…”

  “Well…”

  “Please?”

  I smiled, “Of course I’d come with you.” I said.

  “Great,” He smiled, “Do you want me to tell your family? Ask for permission or something?”

  I laughed, “Well, in that case…” I trailed off then remembered something, “Oh, I remember, Leigh called me up last night, she wanted to have Sunday lunch with us, you know, at her and Neil’s brand new house…Do you wanna go?”

  “I’d love to go,” He said, “Then we’ll tell them about LA.”

  I smiled, “I love you.” I said.

  He kissed me, “I love you, too.”

 

  ***

  Neil and Leigh’s house was beautiful—it was a mansion. Okay, maybe not really ultra big, but it was undoubtedly beautiful, and grand. Lots of tulips in the garden (you know they’re expensive…), a large front gate, an antique Moroccan door, and a lovely living room will greet you as you walk in. Neil and Leigh, however, decided to make lunch a little more homey, and relaxed, so they decided to set up this picnic set at the backyard. I thought Paul and I were the last ones to come but surprisingly, mom still wasn’t there. I introduced Paul to everyone and they all welcomed him warmly. Caroline hugged him.

  “It’s nice to finally see you in person,” Caroline smiled, “I’m really sorry about the last time—“

  “No worries,” Paul said, “It’s alright.”

  “So, you’re the guy Mindy was with in Orleans that night she got wast
ed!” Leigh quipped.

  “Oh, please, Alicia…” I muttered.

  Paul laughed, “Yeah, yeah, that sure was me…”

  “Paul’s a good guy.” Dad smiled.

  “Wow, a nod of approval, eh?” Kim smiled.

  I laughed and Dad held up a glass of water with a smile, as if proposing a toast. Just then, mom came to the backyard, alone. She was holding a big Gucci bag.

  “Hey,” Kim greeted and gave her a kiss.

  “Where’s Mister Stoner?” Caroline said with a wink.

  “Enrique and I are over.” Mom declared with finality. She gave me a little smile.

  “Whoa,” Leigh muttered, “Sorry ‘bout that.”

  “Enrique doesn’t deserve mom,” I said and knew they were all surprised. Mom just smiled at me and this look of understanding came between us.

  “So, Paul,” Dad said, breaking the tension, “You’re bringing our Mindy to LA?”

  “Yeah,” Paul answered, “Just for a few days, I’ll just be recording some songs.”

  “My sister’s going to Hollywood,” Caroline quipped, “Wow.”

  “I-I’m s-sure Carol would want an autograph from M-mark Salling…” Robbie joked.

  Everyone laughed.

  “Oh, honey, you’re the only one that I want,” Caroline winked at Robbie.

  “Geez, get a room!” I laughed.

  “You and Paul should get a room, in LA…” Caroline smiled.

  Paul smiled, “I’ll take care of her, don’t you guys worry.”

  “I know I can trust you,” Dad said, “And you too, Miranda.”

  “Wow, thanks.” I smiled cheerily.

  “Eew, what has happened to this family?” Leigh quipped.

  That’s when we all cracked up.

  20

  “You gotta feel what you need to feel—even if it hurts.”

  -Sandy Cohen, “The OC”

  Posh hotels, stars everywhere…that’s what LA was. Paul and I were staying in a room at the famous Beverly Wilshire hotel and I even brought along some stuff for my painting. Paul was usually out, as he was in the recording studio. We were happy.