The Decameron, Volume II

punctually on theappointed day about vespers, and as the evening passed without Giannimaking his appearance, did most comfortably, and to his no smallsatisfaction, sup and sleep with the lady, who lying in his arms taughthim that night some six of her husband's lauds. But, as neither she norFederigo was minded that this beginning should also be the end of theirintercourse, and that it might not be needful for the maid to go eachtime to make the assignation with him, they came to the followingunderstanding; to wit, that as often as he came and went between thehouse and an estate that he had a little higher up, he should keep an eyeon a vineyard that was beside the house, where he would see an ass's headstuck on one of the poles of the vineyard, and as often as he observedthe muzzle turned towards Florence, he might visit her without any sortof misgiving; and if he found not the door open, he was to tap it thrice,and she would open it; and when he saw the muzzle of the ass's headturned towards Fiesole, he was to keep away, for then Gianni would bethere. Following which plan, they forgathered not seldom: but on one ofthese evenings, when Federigo was to sup with Monna Tessa on two fatcapons that she bad boiled, it so chanced that Gianni arrived thereunexpectedly and very late, much to the lady's chagrin: so she had alittle salt meat boiled apart, on which she supped with her husband; andthe maid by her orders carried the two boiled capons laid in a spotlessnapkin with plenty of fresh eggs and a bottle of good wine into thegarden, to which there was access otherwise than from the house, andwhere she was wont at times to sup with Federigo; and there the maid setthem down at the foot of a peach-tree, that grew beside a lawn. But inher vexation she forgot to tell the maid to wait till Federigo shouldcome, and let him know that Gianni was there, and he must take his supperin the garden: and she and Gianni and the maid were scarce gone to bed,when Federigo came and tapped once at the door, which being hard by thebedroom, Gianni heard the tap, as did also the lady, albeit, that Giannimight have no reason to suspect her, she feigned to be asleep. Federigowaited a little, and then gave a second tap; whereupon, wondering what itmight mean, Gianni nudged his wife, saying:--"Tessa, dost hear what Ihear? Methinks some one has tapped at our door." The lady, who had heardthe noise much better than he, feigned to wake up, and:--"How? what saystthou?" quoth she. "I say," replied Gianni, "that, meseems, some one hastapped at our door." "Tapped at it?" quoth the lady. "Alas, my Gianni,wottest thou not what that is? 'Tis the bogey, which for some nights pasthas so terrified me as never was, insomuch that I never hear it but I popmy head under the clothes and venture not to put it out again until 'tisbroad day." "Come, come, wife," quoth Gianni, "if such it is, be notalarmed; for before we got into bed I repeated the Te lucis, theIntemerata, and divers other good orisons, besides which I made the signof the cross in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit at eachcorner of the bed; wherefore we need have no fear that it may avail tohurt us, whatever be its power." The lady, lest Federigo, perchancesuspecting a rival, should take offence, resolved to get up, and let himunderstand that Gianni was there: so she said to her husband:--"Wellwell; so sayst thou; but I for my part shall never deem myself safe andsecure, unless we exorcise it, seeing that thou art here." "Oh!" saidGianni, "and how does one exorcise it?" "That," quoth the lady, "I knowright well; for t'other day, when I went to Fiesole for the pardoning,one of those anchoresses, the saintliest creature, my Gianni, God be mywitness, knowing how much afraid I am of the bogey, taught me a holy andsalutary orison, which she said she had tried many a time before she wasturned anchoress, and always with success. God wot, I should never havehad courage to try it alone; but as thou art here, I propose that we goexorcise it together." Gianni made answer that he was quite of the samemind; so up they got, and stole to the door, on the outside of whichFederigo, now suspicious, was still waiting. And as soon as they werethere:--"Now," quoth the lady to Gianni, "thou wilt spit, when I tellthee." "Good," said Gianni. Whereupon the lady began her orison,saying:--

  "Bogey, bogey that goest by night, Tail erect, thou cam'st, tail erect, take thy flight Hie thee to the garden, and the great peach before, Grease upon grease, and droppings five score Of my hen shalt thou find: Set the flask thy lips to, Then away like the wind, And no scathe unto me or my Gianni do."

  And when she had done:--"Now, Gianni," quoth she, "spit": and Giannispat.

  There was no more room for jealousy in Federigo's mind as he heard allthis from without; nay, for all his disappointment, he was like to burstwith suppressed laughter, and when Gianni spat, he muttered under hisbreath:--"Now out with thy teeth." The lady, having after this fashionthrice exorcised the bogey, went back to bed with her husband. Federigo,disappointed of the supper that he was to have had with her, andapprehending the words of the orison aright, hied him to the garden, andhaving found the two capons and the wine and the eggs at the foot of thepeach-tree, took them home with him, and supped very comfortably. Andmany a hearty laugh had he and the lady over the exorcism during theirsubsequent intercourse.

  Now, true it is that some say that the lady had in fact turned the ass'shead towards Fiesole, but that a husbandman, passing through thevineyard, had given it a blow with his stick, whereby it had swung round,and remained fronting Florence, and so it was that Federigo thought thathe was invited, and came to the house, and that the lady's orison was onthis wise:--

  "Bogey, a God's name, away thee hie, For whoe'er turned the ass's head, 'twas not I: Another it was, foul fall his eyne; And here am I with Gianni mine."

  Wherefore Federigo was fain to take himself off, having neither slept norsupped.

  But a neighbour of mine, a lady well advanced in years, tells me that, bywhat she heard when she was a girl, both stories are true; but that thelatter concerned not Gianni Lotteringhi but one Gianni di Nello, thatlived at Porta San Piero, and was no less a numskull than GianniLotteringhi. Wherefore, dear my ladies, you are at liberty to choosewhich exorcism you prefer, or take both if you like. They are both ofextraordinary and approved virtue in such cases, as you have heard: getthem by heart, therefore, and they may yet stand you in good stead.

  NOVEL II.

  --Her husband returning home, Peronella bestows her lover in a tun; which,being sold by her husband, she avers to have been already sold by herselfto one that is inside examining it to see if it be sound. Whereupon thelover jumps out, and causes the husband to scour the tun for him, andafterwards to carry it to his house.--

  Great indeed was the laughter with which Emilia's story was received;which being ended, and her orison commended by all as good and salutary,the king bade Filostrato follow suit; and thus Filostrato began:--Dearestmy ladies, so many are the tricks that men play you, and most of all yourhusbands, that, when from time to time it so befalls that some lady playsher husband a trick, the circumstance, whether it come within your owncognizance or be told you by another, should not only give you joy butshould incite you to publish it on all hands, that men may be ware, that,knowing as they are, their ladies also, on their part, know somewhat:which cannot but be serviceable to you, for that one does not rashlyessay to take another with guile whom one wots not to lack that quality.Can we doubt, then, that, should but the converse that we shall holdto-day touching this matter come to be bruited among men, 'twould serveto put a most notable check upon the tricks they play you, by doing themto wit of the tricks, which you, in like manner, when you are so minded,may play them? Wherefore 'tis my intention to tell you in what manner ayoung girl, albeit she was but of low rank, did, on the spur of themoment, beguile her husband to her own deliverance.

  'Tis no long time since at Naples a poor man, a mason by craft, took towife a fair and amorous maiden--Peronella was her name--who eked out byspinning what her husband made by his craft; and so the pair managed asbest they might on very slender means. And as chance would have it, oneof the gallants of the city, taking note of this Peronella one day, andbeing mightily pleased with her, fell in love with her, and by this meansand that so prevailed that he won her to accord him her intimacy. Theirtimes of forgathering they concerted as follows:--to wit, that, he
rhusband being wont to rise betimes of a morning to go to work or seek forwork, the gallant was to be where he might see him go forth, and, thestreet where she dwelt, which is called Avorio, being scarce inhabited,was to come into the house as soon as her husband was well out of it; andso times not a few they did. But on one of these occasions it befellthat, the good man being gone forth, and Giannello Sirignario--such wasthe gallant's name--being come into the house, and being with Peronella,after a while, back came the good man, though 'twas not his wont toreturn until the day was done; and finding the door locked, he knocked,and after knocking, he fell a saying to himself:--O God, praised be Thyname forever; for that, albeit Thou hast