The Decameron, Volume II

Doubtless 'tis that he has an assignationthere with some light o' love, with whom he had rather I did not findhim. Ah! he would sup well with the blind, and what a fool were I tobelieve him! But I warrant he will be disappointed, and needs must I,though I stay there all day long, see what commerce it is that he willadventure in to-day.

  Having so said, she quitted the house on one side, while her husband didso on the other; and forthwith, shunning observation as best she might,she hied her to the wood, and hid her where 'twas most dense, and therewaited on the alert, and glancing, now this way and now that, to see ifany were coming. And while thus she stood, nor ever a thought of a wolfcrossed her mind, lo, forth of a close covert hard by came a wolf ofmonstrous size and appalling aspect, and scarce had she time to say, Godhelp me! before he sprang upon her and griped her by the throat sotightly that she might not utter a cry, but, passive as any lambkin, wasborne off by him, and had certainly been strangled, had he notencountered some shepherds, who with shouts compelled him to let her go.The shepherds recognized the poor hapless woman, and bore her home, wherethe physicians by dint of long and careful treatment cured her; howbeitthe whole of her throat and part of her face remained so disfigured that,fair as she had been before, she was ever thereafter most foul andhideous to look upon. Wherefore, being ashamed to shew her face, she didmany a time bitterly deplore her perversity, in that, when it would havecost her nothing, she would nevertheless pay no heed to the true dream ofher husband.

  NOVEL VIII.

  --Biondello gulls Ciacco in the matter of a breakfast: for which prankCiacco is cunningly avenged on Biondello, causing him to be shamefullybeaten.--

  All the company by common consent pronounced it no dream but a visionthat Talano had had in his sleep, so exactly, no circumstance lacking,had it fallen out according as he had seen it. However, as soon as allhad done speaking, the queen bade Lauretta follow suit; which Laurettadid on this wise:--As, most discreet my ladies, those that have precededme to-day have almost all taken their cue from somewhat that has beensaid before, so, prompted by the stern vengeance taken by the scholar inPampinea's narrative of yesterday, I am minded to tell you of a vengeancethat was indeed less savage, but for all that grievous enough to him onwhom it was wreaked.

  Wherefore I say that there was once at Florence one that all folk calledCiacco, a man second to none that ever lived for inordinate gluttony,who, lacking the means to support the expenditure which his gluttonydemanded, and being, for the rest, well-mannered and well furnished withexcellent and merry jests, did, without turning exactly court jester,cultivate a somewhat biting wit, and loved to frequent the houses of therich, and such as kept good tables; whither, bidden or unbidden, he notseldom resorted for breakfast or supper. There was also in those days atFlorence one that was called Biondello, a man very short of stature, andnot a little debonair, more trim than any fly, with his blond lockssurmounted by a coif, and never a hair out of place; and he and Ciaccowere two of a trade.

  Now one morning in Lent Biondello, being in the fish-market purchasingtwo mighty fat lampreys for Messer Vieri de' Cerchi, was observed thusengaged by Ciacco, who came up to him, and:--"What means this?" quoth he."Why," replied Biondello, "'tis that yestereve Messer Corso Donati hadthree lampreys much finer than these and a sturgeon sent to his house,but as they did not suffice for a breakfast that he is to give certaingentlemen, he has commissioned me to buy him these two beside. Wilt thounot be there?" "Ay, marry, that will I," returned Ciacco. And in what hedeemed due time he hied him to Messer Corso Donati's house, where hefound him with some of his neighbours not yet gone to breakfast. Andbeing asked by Messer Corso with what intent he was come, heanswered:--"I am come, Sir, to breakfast with you and your company." "Andwelcome art thou," returned Messer Corso, "go we then to breakfast, for'tis now the time." So to table they went, where nought was set beforethem but pease and the inward part of the tunny salted, and afterwardsthe common fish of the Arno fried. Wherefore Ciacco, not a little wrothat the trick that he perceived Biondello had played him, resolved to payhim out. And not many days after Biondello, who had meanwhile had many alaugh with his friends over Ciacco's discomfiture, met him, and aftergreeting him, asked him with a laugh what Messer Corso's lampreys hadbeen like. "That question," replied Ciacco, "thou wilt be able to answermuch better than I before eight days are gone by." And parting fromBiondello upon the word, he went forthwith and hired a cozening rogue,and having thrust a glass bottle into his hand, brought him within sightof the Loggia de' Cavicciuli; and there, pointing to a knight, one MesserFilippo Argenti, a tall man and stout, and of a high courage, andhaughty, choleric and cross-grained as ne'er another, he said tohim:--"Thou wilt go, flask in hand, to Messer Filippo, and wilt say tohim:--'I am sent to you, Sir, by Biondello, who entreats you to bepleased to colour this flask for him with some of your good red wine, forthat he is minded to have a good time with his catamites.' And of allthings have a care that he lay not hands upon thee, for he would makethee rue the day, and would spoil my sport." "Have I aught else to say?"enquired the rogue. "Nothing more," returned Ciacco: "and now get theegone, and when thou hast delivered the message, bring me back the flask,and I will pay thee."

  So away went the rogue, and did the errand to Messer Filippo, whoforthwith, being a hasty man, jumped to the conclusion that Biondello,whom he knew, was making mock of him, and while an angry flush overspreadhis face:--"Colour the flask, forsooth!" quoth he, "and 'Catamites!' Godsend thee and him a bad year!" and therewith up he started, and reachedforward to lay hold of the rogue, who, being on the alert, gave him theslip and was off, and reported Messer Filippo's answer to Ciacco, who hadobserved what had passed. Having paid the rogue, Ciacco rested not untilhe had found Biondello, to whom:--"Wast thou but now," quoth he, "at theLoggia de' Cavicciuli?" "Indeed no," replied Biondello: "wherefore such aquestion?" "Because," returned Ciacco, "I may tell thee that thou artsought for by Messer Filippo, for what cause I know not." "Good," quothBiondello, "I will go thither and speak with him." So away wentBiondello, and Ciacco followed him to see what course the affair wouldtake.

  Now having failed to catch the rogue, Messer Filippo was still verywroth, and inly fumed and fretted, being unable to make out aught fromwhat the rogue had said save that Biondello was set on by some one oranother to flout him. And while thus he vexed his spirit, up cameBiondello; whom he no sooner espied than he made for him, and dealt him amighty blow in the face, and tore his hair and coif, and cast his capucheon the ground, and to his "Alas, Sir, what means this?" still beating himamain:--"Traitor," cried he; "I will give thee to know what it means tosend me such a message. 'Colour the flask,' forsooth, and 'Catamites!'Dost take me for a stripling, to be befooled by thee?" And therewith hepummelled Biondello's face all over with a pair of fists that were likerto iron than aught else, until it was but a mass of bruises; he also toreand dishevelled all his hair, tumbled him in the mud, rent all hisclothes upon his back, and that without allowing him breathing-space toask why he thus used him, or so much as utter a word. "Colour me theflask!" and "Catamites!" rang in his ears; but what the words signifiedhe knew not. In the end very badly beaten, and in very sorry and raggedtrim, many folk having gathered around them, they, albeit not without theutmost difficulty, rescued him from Messer Filippo's hands, and told himwhy Messer Filippo had thus used him, censuring him for sending him sucha message, and adding that thenceforth he would know Messer Filippobetter, and that he was not a man to be trifled with. Biondello told themin tearful exculpation that he had never sent for wine to Messer Filippo:then, when they had put him in a little better trim, crestfallen andwoebegone, he went home imputing his misadventure to Ciacco. And when,many days afterwards, the marks of his ill-usage being gone from hisface, he began to go abroad again, it chanced that Ciacco met him, andwith a laugh:--"Biondello," quoth he, "how didst thou relish MesserFilippo's wine?" "Why, as to that," replied Biondello, "would thou hadstrelished the lampreys of Messer Corso as much!" "So!" returned Ciacco,"such meat as thou then gavest me, thou mayst hen
ceforth give me, asoften as thou art so minded; and I will give thee even such drink as Ihave given thee." So Biondello, witting that against Ciacco his might wasnot equal to his spite, prayed God for his peace, and was careful neverto flout him again.

  NOVEL IX.

  --Two young men ask counsel of Solomon; the one, how he is to make himselfbeloved, the other, how he is to reduce an unruly wife to order. The Kingbids the one to love, and the other to go to the Bridge of Geese.--

  None now remained to tell save the queen, unless she were minded