Stage West - Dalton

  “David, if you have hurt her again, the ranch isn’t big enough for you to hide in. You either Nick.”

  “But Dalton, what did she mean by that?” David interrupted his brother’s tirade

  “I don’t know but I am going to call and check on her. Stop talking to Sarah David, she is very important to Lindsay and you can’t drive her away again.”

  “She is very important to Lindsay?” Nick and David questioned.

  “Shut up and good bye”

  Sarah had regained her composure and was finishing her remaining work when her phone rang again. She had sort of been expecting this call. Nick or David one had had to confess they had talked to her.

  “Yes, I am fine. But you can string both of them up in the nearest tree.”

  “Oh, have no fear they will pay for this. They said that they had upset you.

  The tears started again. “Yes, I …”

  “Do you want me to come there or meet me at the park again?”

  “The park, my house is a wreck with all the packing.”

  “I am on my way, I’ll see you there.”

  Dalton had arrived a few minutes before Sarah. She had had to take a couple of minutes to compose herself before trying to drive. He stood as she approached the gazebo where he was waiting. He pulled her into his arms for a comforting hug. “I hate that they did this to you, but if I get another hug and a kiss, I just might forgive them eventually. Now, sit down and tell me what happened.” He said gently

  “The same thing as before, come home and ride your horse.” Sarah mimicked David without the authoritative voice though since she was beginning to cry again.

  “They told me that you had said ‘I can’t come to the ranch and I can’t ride horses anymore.’ We are all curious about what that means.” He said as he lifted her face to his.

  Sarah got up from the bench and began to pace the gazebo. Her wonderful week was about to go up in flames and he was going to run for the hills. She had wanted more time before she told him, but maybe CeCe was right. The sooner the better.

  Sarah faced away from him and gazed at the park “There are two reasons I can’t go to the ranch, one probably doesn’t matter right now but the other certainly does.” Sarah paused then began “This isn’t going to be an easy story for me to tell and I don’t believe that you are going to like it either. I wasn’t ready to tell you now, but maybe sooner is better than later.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “About four years ago, I began to not feel very well. I was dizzy, off-balance, ringing in my ears and trouble with my hearing sometimes. I went to doctor after doctor after doctor until I finally had a diagnosis. It has a weird name, Meniere’s Disease, but what it means is that I have a chronic illness and there is no cure. There are treatments. It isn’t fatal but it is horrible. My body collects too much fluid in the inner ear and that fluid causes all sorts of symptoms.”

  “One minute I am fine and the next, I can be flat on my back or falling to the floor. I am not allowed to go to high places with an overlook in case I have a vertigo spell and fall. I most certainly can’t ride a horse. I have no balance sometimes and no hearing sometimes. There are days that I can’t even get out of bed. I can’t drive very far, and never in the evening darkness. Driving to Stage West is farther than I am able to handle. When you stopped me at the gala and swung me around, I had a vertigo spell and nearly fell down. Dancing isn’t supposed to be something I should be able to do either. I am very inexperienced at dancing so that was part of the reason I was hesitant to go dancing with you. But I didn’t do too bad dancing with you since we didn’t move around very much.”

  “This is the reason you were sick the other day and the reason you stumbled as we were leaving the restaurant last night.” He commented

  Sarah nodded and kept her head lowered. “The surgery I had a couple of months ago was to place a tube in my inner ear to help drain the fluid away. It was a treatment and it has helped but not entirely. There is a chance I could go into remission but it isn’t something I count on.”

  “This is the reason you started the foundation isn’t it? To help others through what you are going through”

  She nodded again still staring at the ground. “I’m sorry, Dalton.”

  “What is there to be sorry for? I hate this for you, but it doesn’t change anything other than the activities I might plan for us to do.”

  Her head snapped up “It will change more than that…”

  “It doesn’t change you, Sarah” Dalton replied cutting into her comment.

  Sarah returned to sit beside him “Yes, some days it does change me. Somedays…”

  He cut her off again. “It doesn’t change your fundamental soul. In fact, it probably makes it better. You created a multi-million dollar, multi-functional platform to help other people because of this illness. You have used it for good. That is who you are, that is your soul. Your illness cannot touch that!”

  “I suppose you are right about that. But..”

  “You suppose I am right about that? No, Sarah, there is no “suppose”, I am always right. You should listen to me more.” Dalton finished with a grin.

  “As I was saying, it may not change my soul, but it changes my everyday activities. Some days I can swim for exercise, some days I can’t. Some days I can work, sometimes I can’t. It affects the people around me too.”

  “I would imagine so. It makes me want to wrap you in my arms and never let go so you can’t be hurt. And you have sometimes been hurt by this haven’t you? Physically hurt?”

  “Yes, a couple of times when I bent over, I hit my head.”

  “Crap”

  “It wasn’t bad, so relax. I take caution most of the time, I try to take care of myself.”

  “Then teach me what I need to know to take care you too, I don’t want to make things worse for you.”

  “I won’t ask that of you. This is my issue and mine alone.” She said sadly looking at the ground.

  “Whoa lady” Dalton said as he captured her chin to force her to look at him “What does that mean?”

  “It means that I won’t ask you or anyone else to ever share my life. I will deal with this for the rest of my life.”

  “That sounds suspiciously like a goodbye.”

  Sarah was nodding before he finished the sentence.

  “No!”

  “It has to be this way, Dalton.”

  “No. It. Does. Not.”

  “Yes, listen to reason. If you stay with me, you will have to deal with this the rest of your life. It could and probably will change your life too, it will mean?” Dalton interrupted again “Those are things and activities. It won’t change the important things like being with you, loving you, caring for you. I want to do all those things. Change in activities, we can do that.”

  “Why should you have to and why would you want to?” she asked incredulously.

  “Why would I want to?” Dalton was aghast. “Sarah, I want everything with you. I want a life with you, activities and things do not matter to me.”

  “They should matter to you. What if some morning, you get up planning to do something special something you really wanted to do and looked forward to doing it and I was flat on my back for the day and your activity was ruined. I would hate that; and eventually so would you. Maybe even hate me someday because of it. I have been there Dalton, for five years you hated me because I was a bother. I won’t do it again. I am giving you your chance to walk away before we reach that point. Take it.”

  Dalton was mad and surged to his feet. He had to pace “You are giving up and throwing us away. We don’t know the future; maybe I will be the one to need you to take care of me. Would you end up hating me?”

  “No, never!”

  “Then why do you expect it from me?” Dalton asked sadly

  “I’m sorry Dalton, I was trying to protect you and save myself some heartache.”
>
  Dalton returned to the bench and took her hands in his and forced her to look at him. “A full life is messy, there is heartache, there is joy, sorrow, peace, loving, but there is someone there to help you and be with you. I want that with you. Don’t throw us away.”

  “Dalton, you need to really think about this. I need to really think about this. “We” happened pretty fast this week. Take the two weeks that I am gone and think about what you are giving up.”

  “I am not giving up anything to be with you. I am gaining.” He replied in earnest “But if you want me to take this time, I will. I don’t need it though. This illness doesn’t change anything.”

  It will. Sarah thought to herself It most certainly will.

  Dalton lifted her face again. “Why didn’t you tell me before now? Do Gabby and Nathan know about your being sick?”

  “No, I was able to hide it from them. I communicated with them but I still tried to remain separated from them. I knew I was being horribly unfair to ask them to keep our secret. And as for why I didn’t tell you before, we haven’t exactly been together for weeks and weeks. A few days and a whirlwind few days, when was the right time to bring it up?”

  “I guess you are right. If the situations were reversed, I wouldn’t have known when to tell you either.”

  “We need to take the time apart and really think about if we can handle this. If one or both think we can’t, then we say goodbye. I can still be friends with Lindsay if she chooses.

  “First of all, I don’t need the time. Secondly, Lindsay will choose to be your friend. She has missed you so much.”

  “I have missed her too.”

  “What do you want me to tell your family? And yes they are going to be your family, I can guarantee it.”

  “You cannot guarantee that. But you can tell your family whatever you are comfortable telling them. I don’t know if you want to tell them about this week. That is your choice.”

  “We can go to the ranch right now and tell them together.”

  “I can’t drive that far and it is almost dark.”

  “I will follow you back to your house so you can leave your car and then drive you to the ranch myself.”

  “I can’t. I haven’t finished packing. I need to get back home.”

  Dalton reached for her and pulled her close. “I hate this, everything feels so wrong, so unsettled. This time apart isn’t necessary.”

  “Yes, it is. You’ll see.” Sarah said as she gently kissed his cheek.

  “Goodbye Dalton” she turned and walked away.

  Dalton reached for her but she shrugged away. “Not goodbye. Never again.”

  She just walked faster to escape to her car.

  Dalton slowly walked to his car also. His heart was so heavy, she was throwing them away without giving him a chance. I don’t need any time to think, dammit. Dalton left the parking lot and headed for Stage West and another “family meeting” where I get to break everyone else’s heart too.

  Dalton arrived at Stage West and met his brother and Nick as he got out of the car. I guess I don’t get any time to prepare for this either.

  “Well, what did she mean?” David accosted Dalton “You look like you have been beaten by the way.”

  “Can you gather everyone in the living room? I’ll be there in a minute.” Dalton said as he walked towards the barn to gather his thoughts. He had to see Sarah’s horse, Star Dancer. He had hoped that someday he and Sarah would be able to take long rides together, maybe not anymore. As he approached Star Dancer’s stall, she poked her head over the door. “You already know don’t you girl, she may not ever be able to ride you. What are we going to do about that?” He stayed with Star Dancer for several minutes trying to prepare how to tell his family that their girl was sick. After a few minutes he gave up and started toward the meeting, there was no way to prepare for this.

  Everyone was waiting for him in the living room, he moved to the window to look out. No one spoke. He didn’t know it but he looked really bad, they were afraid to ask him. Finally Gabby was brave enough to interrupt his thoughts.

  “Dalton, why another family meeting?”

  Dalton took a deep breath and turned to his family. “Today, David and Nick called Sarah again and told her to come home.” Dalton glared at both David and Nick. Nick started to apologize and blame David but Dalton cut him off. “Later.”

  “What did she mean by she can’t come to the ranch and she can’t ride horses anymore?” David asked impatiently.

  Dalton sat in the chair and looked at the floor. “She said there were two reasons she couldn’t come to the ranch. She only told me one but I can’t imagine the second is as mind-boggling at the first.” He said almost to himself. “Sarah really physically cannot come to the ranch and she can’t ride anymore.”

  “That is just nonsense.” remarked David “Of course she can come here and ride.”

  “No, in some ways she really can’t. She can’t because she is sick.” Dalton had to pause because everyone gasped or stared incredulously at him. He held up his hand to stall the questions he could see forming “I’ll tell you what I know but I don’t understand everything either. Apparently, about four years ago she began to not feel well. She was having trouble with being dizzy, hearing loss, balance issues. She went to doctor after doctor until she received a diagnosis. It has a weird name but it means her body gathers too much fluid in her inner ear and throws her into attacks of vertigo, lack of balance. She can’t be in high places, so no horseback riding. She can’t drive very far and never in the evening so no coming to the ranch by herself.”

  “So go and get her!” David insisted.

  Dalton ignored him and continued “This illness is permanent, chronic. But thankfully it isn’t fatal. She did call it horrible and from what she described I would agree. In more ways than one” he muttered the last part mostly to himself.

  Gabby was softly weeping by this time “She never told me, why wouldn’t she tell me?”

  Dalton moved to take Gabby’s hand. “I asked her that. She said she tried to stay a bit distant from you because she knew she was wrong in making you keep her secret.”

  “But I didn’t feel that way.” replied Gabby. “I needed to look after her. She is my girl.”

  “I know and now she is my girl.” Dalton replied without thinking. Everyone gasped again except Nick who burst out laughing. “Oh no, I said that out loud again didn’t I?”

  Nick just laughed louder. Gabby beamed through her tears.

  “I believe you have something else to tell us Dalton.” David said confidently

  “Fine. I have been out with Sarah several times this week. We are or were, I am not sure which right now, working on a relationship.” He stated returning to the window.

  “What do you mean were, Dalton?” inquired Lindsay

  “She is throwing us away because she doesn’t want me to deal with her being sick. She said I would eventually begin to hate her “again” when she ruined plans to do special things. She won’t take that chance. She has to go away for her job for two weeks and wants me to take this time to really think about what my life would be like with her being sick and only the possibility of remission.”

  Everyone but Gabby talked at once “Tell her you don’t need time.” “Tell that is nonsense, you can handle it” “Don’t let her do that..”

  Gabby shushed everyone. “Dalton, come here.” She said as she pointed to the stool he had left moments ago. After he sat she gently asked “What do you feel about this illness? How it will affect you?”

  “I hate it that she is sick. I hate it that she can’t do all the things she wants to do and maybe we want to do. But those are just things, I want to be with her. I would have asked her to marry me on Monday night and practically did. This illness doesn’t change who she is as a person. It has made her better, she started that foundation because she wanted to help others.”

>   “Then tell her that.” urged Gabby while everyone else nodded in agreement

  “I did. I argued with her for a long time. But she still insisted I needed time to think. Then she said good-bye and walked away. She threw us away without giving me a chance to prove otherwise.” Dalton couldn’t sit any longer and strode to the window again.

  No one moved and no one spoke. He was hurting and they didn’t know how to help him.

  As the silence grew and started to become uncomfortable, the phone rang breaking the discomfort.

  “Stage West, this is David.”

  “David, it’s Greg Davis. Is Dalton available?”

  “One moment, let me check.”

  “It’s Greg Davis. Do you want to talk to him?” inquired David as he pointed to the phone.

  Dalton grabbed the phone and moved to the kitchen. “Is something wrong with Sarah?”

  “No, she is okay. She and CeCe are talking, I eavesdropped for a while but I wanted to call to check on you.” Greg replied “How do you feel about a vacation in Hawaii week after next? I happened to know of a place that has a lovely guest cottage right on the beach.”

  “She said I needed time to think.”

  “Do you?”

  “No!”

  “Are you sure? It isn’t an easy thing to live with. Somedays are dammed tough actually.”

  Dalton stared at the phone “CeCe?”

  “Yes, it is an extremely well-guarded secret and we would like to keep it that way. That is how Sarah became our assistant; they help each through the tough times. Sarah was already working for Davis Enterprises when she and CeCe met at a support group meeting. They got to talking and one thing and another, four years later Sarah is our good friend as well as foundation president and family member. So, I’ll repeat the question, do you need the time to think this through?”

  “No, but she insisted I take it.”

  “Dalton, Dalton” Greg murmured “Haven’t you figured out our Sarah yet? She hates, absolutely hates, the thought of being a bother to anyone. She will walk away from you and live alone if she thinks it is better for you.”

  “Greg, you are not making me feel better about this.”

  “It might not get better. I won’t kid you; I have wanted to scream at the unfairness of this more than once. I am supposed to protect CeCe, but instead I can’t do anything to stop these attacks. I can’t stop her from being depressed about it sometimes. I can’t stop her when her emotions take over and I am the bad guy. She doesn’t want me around sometimes then either. CeCe got sick after we were married but Sarah is already sick and so you may not get the better times without any attacks. And no matter what Sarah tells you, there are many good times that outweigh the bad.”