Stout

  Adelyn’s body relaxes against mine. Finally.

  “I was out partying with friends who weren’t really my friends at all. I ended up somewhere I didn’t want to be. Eden’s bed. I’m not sure what happened. Maybe we fucked. Maybe we didn’t. I have no idea. The only thing I know for sure is I wanted the hell out of her house and away from her. So I got in my truck and started for home. I was one mile from my condo when I saw the blue lights. One fucking mile. That’s where they got me.”

  “Who got you?”

  “The highway patrol. The officer who pulled me over said a concerned citizen had called in to report a drunk driver in a vehicle matching my truck. I’m pretty sure that concerned citizen was a pissed-off whore who woke to an empty bed. Of course, I have no proof of that. But I was given the typical field sobriety test. The one-leg stand and the walk-and-turn test. I passed both. But I failed the gaze test. I was taken down to the station where I also failed a blood alcohol content test. I barely failed, Adelyn. It was crazy close but it was still a fail so I was charged with DUI.”

  I wait a moment, waiting for her to respond, but she doesn’t.

  “As you can guess, a DUI charge doesn’t look great for Lovibond. So under the advisement of my attorney, I voluntarily entered a thirty-day substance abuse rehab center. And before you ask, the answer is no. I am not nor have I ever been an addict or alcoholic. My decision was about the company, my business partners, and employees. I did what I felt was best for all of them. And that’s where I met Vance Horton three years ago.”

  “A year before he killed Tommy.”

  “Vance was nineteen with his first DUI. The kid wasn’t an alcoholic but a judge said he either complete the program or serve jail time. His choice. So he went with the thirty-day program.”

  “We had group together every day for a month. I couldn’t not notice how tight-lipped he was. Always so quiet. Never shared a word about himself, but I saw something in him. Something so familiar. I couldn’t put my finger on it for a while but then I figured it out. He was me. The nineteen-year-old version of me had I not been taken away from Jimmy and Christie. I got to know Vance over the coming weeks and was right. His home life was nearly identical to mine as a child. The difference was I got out and he didn’t.

  “I felt this odd connection to him and I wanted to help the guy. He was already nineteen but I wanted to do for him what someone had done for me when I was six. So I did. I helped him get away from his parental version of Jimmy and Christie. I gave him a job. Found him a place to stay. He was doing really good. Had a pretty little girlfriend, Toni. They already had a baby daughter. Almost two years old. I was a little irritated when he got her pregnant again only two months after getting on his feet. I thought he should have exercised more responsibility, but he was happy about having his own family so I decided I should be too. I was proud of how far he’d come in such a short period of time.”

  “They did great for nine months. Until his parents came back into the picture. They said they had nowhere to go. Made Vance feel guilty about leaving them on the streets so he let them move into his apartment. It was supposed to be for a week. But that turned into two weeks and then another two. That’s how it is with addicts. A vicious cycle that never ends. It became a big problem between him and Toni. As you can imagine, she didn’t want heroin addicts living in her house with her daughter. But she also didn’t like Vance’s dad. Said he made her uncomfortable. Turns out she had every right to feel that way. About six weeks after they moved in, Vance’s dad raped Toni.”

  “While she was pregnant? Oh, God. That’s horrible.”

  “Vance made his parents leave, but as you can imagine, the damage was already done. Toni couldn’t stay in the place where she was assaulted. She blamed Vance because he was the one to bring his father into their lives. So she left with Willow and wouldn’t let Vance see her. When he lost them, his life unraveled. He went on a month-long drunk. I sat back for a while and watched. I thought he might get it together on his own but he didn’t. I took it upon myself to help him get straightened out again. And he was. He was steering his life back between the lines. Again, I was proud of him for how far he’d come.”

  “But then that Sunday afternoon came.” She knows the one I mean. “Vance was at home watching the race. He’d had several beers when he got a call from Toni telling him Willow had been admitted to the hospital with a severe case of meningitis. He panicked, as any father who loves his child would, and got behind the wheel to go to her. He was on his way to his sick daughter when he ran that red light and hit your brother.” She shudders in my arms as she sucks air into her lungs, the tears a thief, stealing her steady breath.

  “Toni went into labor when she was told about the accident. So there she was. A critically ill baby in the hospital and another one on the way. She had no one she could depend on but me. So I stepped in and stayed with Willow in the hospital while she gave birth to their second daughter, Keeley.”

  “I was never told the circumstances,” she whispers between agonizing sobs.

  “I know. They didn’t tell you that part at the sentencing. They spoke about Vance like he was some kind of repeat offender, a monster who got into a car after drinking without any regard for humanity. But that wasn’t the case at all. He was scared for his daughter, and in a state of panic, made a mistake. His error cost your brother his life.”

  Adelyn shudders against me, her sobs louder.

  “Vance’s life has been little more than one bad circumstance after another. The same as mine would have been if I’d not been taken from Jimmy and Christie. I don’t defend Vance getting behind the wheel of his car after drinking several beers. I wasn’t in that courtroom to rally for your brother’s killer. I was there to stick by a man who under some of the ugliest fucking circumstances was trying to be a loving and caring daddy to his little girl. I was standing by a man who was trying to be a better person despite being born into one of the worst situations imaginable.”

  “I visit Vance in prison because he needs to know there’s one person in the world who hasn’t given up on him. I gave Toni a job in the warehouse. The little girls you played with in Molly’s office are Willow and Keeley. Those kids are deeply rooted in my life. Actually Vance and Toni are as well. They aren’t going anywhere. So you have a decision to make. Do you still want me, or will you end us over this?”

  This was a lot for Adelyn to hear at once. Everything she thought she knew about Vance has been proven wrong. She’s going to need time to absorb it. “I understand you need to think about this, but I want to tell you something before I go. I’ve never been as miserable as I’ve been the last three days. Being apart from you confirmed how much I love you. I want and need you in my life so much. I don’t want to go back to being the man I was before you.”

  I kiss the back of her head. “You are mine, Max. And I am yours. My connection to Vance shouldn’t change that but ultimately the decision is yours.”

  I release my hold on her and get up from the bed. “I hope you still love me, Max. I am not asking you to forgive Vance Horton, but I am asking you to forgive me for how you think I have wronged you.”

  * * *

  “Charlotte just called. She said Christie died about an hour ago.”

  “Did that bad case of kidney failure finally get her?” I still can’t believe Lawry was considering giving that horrid woman one of her kidneys.

  “Oliver.”

  “It’s a legit question.”

  “I didn’t ask.”

  “No need when neither of us gives a shit.” I wait to be scolded by my sister for saying such a thing about a dead woman but she doesn’t. Surprising.

  “The McCollums want us to come to the funeral.” Bullshit. Jimmy and Christie’s people haven’t seen us in twenty-four years.

  “The family wants us to come to the funeral or Jimmy wants us to come so we’ll foot the bill?”

  “We both know we’ll be hit up for the money, but she was our birth m
other and now she’s dead.” Good riddance is what I’m thinking but I keep those words to myself. Lawry’s too soft-hearted to agree with me here.

  “What do you want to do?”

  “She was a shitty mother but she raised me for ten years and you for six. I think we should go. Not for her but for us. I think it could be therapeutic.” Therapeutic?

  Lawry is always talking about this and that being therapeutic. It’s been twenty-four years since we were with them. I sort of feel like I’m done needing therapy over the shit they did to us. “I’ll go for you. No other reason.”

  “Charlotte said they’d wait on us before making arrangements.” Of course. We’re paying. “It’s a little late to leave tonight.”

  “I definitely don’t want to drive it now. I just got home from Savannah two hours ago.”

  “It killed me to not call you this weekend. I’m dying to hear about your romantic weekend with Adelyn. Did she love everything I planned?” She finally has a smile on her face and I have to take that away.

  Fuck my life.

  “Didn’t happen.”

  “What didn’t happen?”

  “The romantic weekend getaway. I went alone.”

  There’s her what the actual fuck? face. “Alone? Why?”

  “Long story, sis. I’m tired and don’t feel like talking about it right now.”

  “Okay. I guess you’ll have the whole drive to Savannah tomorrow to explain.” I’m relieved she isn’t pushing for answers now. “What time do you want to leave? ’Bout seven?”

  “I’m not in a hurry to get behind the wheel for that long. Let’s say eight.” Maybe I can get an extra hour of sleep. That is if I’m able to sleep at all.

  “Brou can drive. He doesn’t mind.”

  “I will not argue with him about that.”

  “All right. We’ll be over around eight.”

  Christie’s death drags a lot of childhood memories to the surface of my brain. Heinous things I haven’t thought about in years. I pretend they don’t bother me. But they do. I tell Lawry I’m fine. And I am sometimes. But not always. Who wouldn’t be fucked up to some degree by the way Jimmy and Christie treated us?

  Mom and Dad are the best. Our life with them has helped erase a lot of what we suffered. But not everything.

  I don’t need this shit on my plate while I’m trying to work things out with Adelyn. I don’t need her seeing me like this. So she won’t. And she won’t know about Christie until I’m back on the off chance she wants to be by my side for support. I never want her mixed up with the McCollums.

  Adelyn Maxwell

  I can only recall one time in my life when I’ve been unhappier. The day I lost Tommy.

  But it was a different kind of unhappiness from what I’m feeling now. My brother was taken from me in the blink of an eye. I didn’t get to say goodbye. No opportunity for final words. One minute he was fine. The next, he wasn’t. And it was all because of one stranger’s stupid decision.

  Except now I know Tommy’s death wasn’t the result of one mistake by a single person. That accident resulted after a long series of bad circumstances, not all of them the fault of Vance Horton. Have I spent all this time and energy hating a man who might not deserve it?

  I didn’t get to decide if I lost Tommy or not. But I have a choice about losing Oliver.

  And I choose to not let him go.

  I’ve been to Oliver’s house four times since Monday. His truck and motorcycle have been home for two days without moving but there’s no sign of him.

  Something isn’t right.

  I’ve been holding off calling or texting. I wanted our reunion to be spoiler-free. I want him to see me, see my expression, and know why I’ve come to him.

  I had hoped that would happen at his house. I wanted to run into his arms and then take things upstairs. But it looks like I’ll be settling for a brewery reunion and maybe a romp on the sofa instead.

  “Hey, Molly. How are you?”

  “Doing pretty good. Busy as usual. How are you?”

  “I’m good. Great, actually.” The best I’ve been in days.

  “I see you brought more goodies.” I had to. I’ve baked like a lunatic this weekend. And I’ve run out of neighbors willing to take the sweets off my hands.

  “Yeah. I was in a baking mood this weekend. I get like that sometimes.” I put the plastic container on Molly’s desk. “Do you mind seeing if Oliver is busy?”

  “Oh.” A peculiar expression crosses her face. “He’s not here, honey. He left for Savannah yesterday morning with Lawrence and Tap.”

  I knew it. Something is wrong. The three of them wouldn’t have gone home for no reason. “What happened?”

  “Lawrence and Oliver’s mother passed away Sunday night.”

  Oh, God. No. No. Not Libby. Oliver must be in agony. Oh, Lawrence. She’s lost her mom.

  “Was she in an accident?” Libby seemed so healthy and active. I can’t imagine her dying from some kind of health complication. Oliver never mentioned her being sick.

  “I’m not sure. All I know is Tap called Porter first thing Monday morning to let us know they’d be out for a few days.”

  I can’t believe Oliver’s mother is dead. He didn’t call you, Adelyn. He didn’t reach out to you. That says so much about how badly I’ve hurt him.

  I’ve been a mean, spiteful bitch. And now I’m paying for it.

  Oliver’s in pain. I should be with him in Savannah at a time like this, not in another state.

  This is our first major life-changing event as a couple and I’ve failed him. I’m fucking sick with myself.

  Molly knows Oliver and I are together. She must be wondering why he’d leave without telling me something so important. “We had an argument. A pretty terrible one and it was all my fault.”

  “It’s not my business, honey.”

  “Maybe not, but I wanted you to know Oliver didn’t do wrong. It was me.”

  “Honey, I know Oliver. Things will be fine.”

  “I hope so.” I desperately hope so. Has he given up on me?

  I look at my watch. Ten after one, which means ten after two there. The funeral is probably happening as we speak. “I should wait on calling in case they’re having afternoon services.”

  A whirl of brown curls races into the room and propels herself into Molly’s arms. Willow. “Molly!”

  “Ah, there’s my girl.” Willow crawls into Molly’s lap. “Did you have a good day at preschool?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “What did you learn?”

  “Umm . . . I don’t know.”

  “Doesn’t sound like you learned much if you don’t know.”

  “Mmm . . . August.”

  “You learned your months of the year?”

  The cutie shrugs. “I guess.”

  Molly looks at me and winks. “First week of preschool.”

  Willow laughs when she’s poked in the ribs. “Do you know what month comes after August?”

  “September.”

  “Yes, and who has a birthday in September?”

  “Meee.”

  “That’s right. And how old will you be?”

  “Four.” Willow is such a beautiful little girl. Long brown curls. Vivid blue eyes. Just like her dad. Vance had the same vivid blue. And I hated them. Thought they were monstrous. Haunting.

  I squat so I’m on Willow’s level. “What kind of party do you want?”

  “Princess.”

  “Pink?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” She’s been taught manners.

  “I love pink princess parties. Bet you didn’t know that’s what I do. I’m sort of like a fairy godmother. You tell me what you want at your party and I make it happen.”

  “Like Cinderella?”

  “A little. Would you like me to talk to your mom about having a big pink princess party for your birthday?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “I’ll do that for you.” I see her eyeing the cupcakes so I ge
sture toward the container. “Want one?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I offered the cupcake without considering if it’ll be okay with Toni. “Will her mom mind?”

  “She can have one. That’s fine.” The voice comes from behind me.

  I turn to see who I presume is Toni standing at the time machine punching her card. “Oh, hi. I’m Adelyn. Oliver’s girlfriend.”

  “I’m Toni. I work in the warehouse. That’s my daughter, Willow.”

  It isn’t possible Toni’s more than twenty-one or two but she looks at least fifteen years older. Life hasn’t been kind to this woman.

  “Where’s Keeley?” Molly asks.

  “Frankee has the afternoon off so she took her for me.” Lovibond family. It’s real and it exists.

  “Willow tells me she wants a pink princess party for her birthday next month.”

  “I’m sure she does. And I’d love for her to have one but big parties are expensive.”

  I’ll foot every penny of this little girl’s party without blinking but I don’t want to cue Toni to who I am. “Oliver said he and I would work something out if you say it’s okay for her to have it.”

  Toni shakes her head. “That man is too good to us.”

  “He is a very good man who wants Willow to have the princess party of her dreams. So what do you say?”

  “How could I refuse my baby girl a birthday party?”

  “Great. I’ll be in touch in a couple of weeks and we’ll work out the details.”

  “Thank you. That’s really nice.” Toni holds out her hand for Willow. “Come on, knucklehead. We gotta let Molly get back to work.”

  I wave at Willow when she turns back to look at me. “Bye.”

  “That was awfully nice of you.”

  “Does Willow always come to work with Toni?” A beer brewery doesn’t seem like a proper place for a child. Or safe.

  “Not usually. Her babysitter quit on her a few weeks ago. She has to bring the girls until she can find a replacement. But the boys know.” I like how Molly refers to Oliver, Lucas, and Porter as the boys. “Stout turned a storage room into a playroom for them. He was afraid they might get hurt in the warehouse.”