Daughter of Darkness

  Afterward, we all sat around Daddy, as usual, while he described something wonderful from his past, some memory stirred by our laughter and joy together. This time, he described his travels through China with a beautiful Chinese princess whose ancestors went back to the Middle Ages. Just as always, his descriptions of the countryside, the palaces, and the celebrations captured our imagination. He recited ancient Chinese poetry and showed us a little of a ritual dance. If anyone wondered how it was possible for three teenage girls to be so amused and entertained at home, they had only to participate in one of Daddy’s special evenings.

  When it was over, it left me feeling very sad. I was unhappy with myself, with my act of betrayal. How could I ever risk losing Daddy’s love? What was I thinking? I think he saw the sadness in my face and made a point to kiss me and hold me longer than he did Marla and Ava.

  “You don’t worry about anything, Lorelei,” he whispered in my ear. “I’ll fix it all tomorrow, and we’ll finish off wonderfully here. You’ll do wonderfully. Sleep well.”

  It took all of my self-control not to begin crying. I held back the tears and retreated to my bedroom, but Ava was right behind me.

  “How can you not see how much he still loves you, needs you?” she asked angrily. “How could you even think of risking that and hurting him?”

  “Please, leave me alone, Ava.”

  “You fool.”

  “All right!” I cried. “I’m not going to see him again. We’ll be gone, and that will be that.”

  “Oh, no, Lorelei. That won’t be that. You will see him again. You owe me this, and you will do as I say. I know you’ll never stop pining over him. Whether you care or not, he’ll follow you everywhere you go, and you will be useless to Daddy and to yourself. Daddy will blame me.”

  I said nothing.

  “If you don’t do it yourself, I’ll do it for you,” she said. “And that you can take not as a threat but as a promise.”

  She left me to agonize over her words and my own feelings. I cried myself to sleep, but in the morning, I tried to look as fresh and as happy as possible. Daddy was taking Marla and me to school. He rarely came to any school we attended. He appeared only when it was absolutely necessary. But when he did come with me, I could see how quickly everyone was drawn to him. His elegant manner, heart-stopping good looks, and aristocratic self-confidence captured the attention of teachers and students alike. On those few occasions when any of the other girls in my classes had seen him, they told me things like, “Your father looks like a senator or a president. Is he a movie star? I think I’ve seen him in a magazine. Does he own a big company?”

  “He’s all of that,” I would say, and laugh at their dumbfounded looks.

  Dr. Phelps was no different. I could see how impressed he was when we entered his office. He looked and sounded almost apologetic. “This meeting is a mandatory formality,” he began. “I have to do what the board requires.”

  “Of course you do,” Daddy said, sounding generous.

  “It was quite surprising having Lorelei sent to my office for anything improper. Until now, she has been an ideal student. Her grades are excellent, and her teachers only say laudatory things about her.”

  “Yes, it was surprising to me as well. She’s been nothing less than an utter delight as a daughter. I know she’s as upset about her behavior as you are, Dr. Phelps.”

  “I hope we won’t see anything remotely like this again.”

  “Oh, I think we can safely say you won’t,” Daddy told him.

  “Well, we don’t want her to miss any more class time,” Dr. Phelps said, rising. “I appreciate your coming in promptly.”

  “Not at all,” Daddy said, standing up and offering his hand.

  “What a beautiful ring,” Dr. Phelps remarked.

  “Yes. It was given to me a long, long time ago by someone I literally idolized. It’s brought me lots of good luck ever since.” He laughed. “Whether these things are true or not, it’s comforting to believe in them, don’t you think?”

  “Absolutely,” Dr. Phelps said. He sounded as if he were replying to an official military order. I half expected him to salute.

  He walked us out of the office and said good-bye to Daddy.

  “I’m letting you keep your phone,” Daddy said to me. “You might have some need for it soon, and I have complete faith that you won’t abuse it again. Ava certainly knows not to call you at school now unless it’s some dire emergency, so there should be no chance of it, anyway.”

  I looked down. I knew I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t look him right in the eyes and lie to him. I had no doubt he sensed it anyway, and I was afraid.

  “Just go on and be a good student until we leave,” he said. “Ava will be picking you and Marla up after school. I have some business to attend to this afternoon.”

  He kissed me softly, on the cheek but very close to my lips. Then he turned and left. I hurried to class, anticipating lots of busybody questions hurled at me every chance the gossips had. I knew girls like Ruta and Meg were gleeful over my suspension. In many ways, then, I really was like Marla in hoping that we would not be around much longer.

  I was so involved with fending off the questions and nasty comments most of the day, as well as still smarting over how I had let Daddy down, that I didn’t think much about Buddy. I checked my phone when I was able to go outside during lunch. As I expected, he had called and left a message. He was concerned about me and what had happened when my father found out I was suspended from school. I debated with myself about returning his call and perhaps telling him that he shouldn’t call me again. I would tell him as firmly as I could that we could not see each other under any circumstances, but I was also afraid that I would break down and give in to his pleas. For now, at least, it was better to put it off for as long as I could.

  But Ava had no intention of backing off on her demands. I could sense it the moment she picked up Marla and me. She couldn’t wait for the opportunity to be alone with me. When we arrived at home and Marla and I started to get out of the car, she seized my arm and said, “No, you stay.”

  “Why is she staying?” Marla immediately demanded.

  “Lorelei and I have to go somewhere to meet someone,” Ava said. “Just go into the house.”

  “Why can’t I go, too?”

  “If you could, would I have wasted time bringing you home, Marla? This is Daddy’s business. Just do what you’re told,” she said sharply.

  Petulant, Marla got out, but she glared at me as if it was somehow all my fault. Had Ava told her about Buddy and me? The moment she was gone and Ava started to drive away, I asked her.

  “Of course not,” she said. “She’s far too young to understand all of this, and besides, I couldn’t trust that she would keep her mouth shut. She’d go to Mrs. Fennel, if not Daddy.”

  “How mean she’s become.”

  “Mean? She’s not mean, Lorelei. She’s competitive. Have you forgotten Daddy’s lectures about sibling rivalry and how it applies more to us than most? I told you, she’s going to be breathing down your neck.” She laughed.

  “What’s so funny, Ava?”

  “I’m glad she came here after you and not after me. You’re much easier to compete with,” she said with a smile. “Which,” she decided to add, “is not something of which you should be proud.”

  I was tired of her lectures and criticism. I just wanted to go home and go to sleep. “Where are we going?”

  “Where do you think? We have to set up for the weekend.”

  “Must we do this, Ava? Isn’t there any other way, any other choice? I’ll do anything else you say. I swear.”

  “I know you would, and that’s why we must do this. You can’t remain this weak and vulnerable, even to me. In the end, years from now, you’ll look back and thank me.”

  I won’t thank you as much as I’ll hate myself, I thought.

  We drove on, Ava energized and excited and me sinking into myself as if my body had turne
d into quicksand.

  “What this will do,” she said as we turned toward UCLA, “is make you and me closer as sisters. I’m sure that’s something you’ve always wanted.” She turned to me when I didn’t respond. “Something Daddy has always wanted,” she tacked on.

  “I know,” I said.

  But anyone listening would have wondered, as Ava was now wondering, if I saw that as something wonderful or something tragic.

  Time, the real fortune-teller, would let us know sooner than we could imagine.

  18

  A Plan

  Ava sat silently for a moment after she had pulled the car into a parking space and turned off the engine. I was hoping she’d had a change of mind, that there was a complication she had not thought about until now. But she wasn’t worrying about anything; she was planning details.

  “All right. Here’s how we’ll do this. You’ll arrange for him to meet your father this Saturday night. You can go out on your last date with him wherever you like and then bring him home. You’ll tell him your father is returning at ten o’clock from a trip but is looking forward to meeting him, and if he wants to continue to see you, he had better do this. Do you understand?”

  “What if I promise never to mention his name again? I’ll tell him good-bye forever, Ava. I won’t obsess over him like you think. I’ll look forward to moving away and—”

  “Stop it, Lorelei.” She turned completely around to look at me, her face taking on the all-too-well-known look of distrust. “You know, I’ve always had my doubts about you, and despite how loving and kind Daddy’s been to you, he’s had his doubts as well. When I took you out to see how you would do with men, I was happy to see that you enjoyed the flirting, the seduction, and I did tell Daddy that I thought it was encouraging. But you are very different from me and from Marla. There are times I think you’ll bolt out of the house and never come back. We all have the funds and charge cards Daddy has set up in our names, but I told him often that in your case, that might be a mistake.” She paused and then continued in a reasonable, even sisterly tone. “Now, look at this as a wonderful opportunity to prove yourself. Once Daddy finds out what you’ve done and what you will do now, he’ll have complete confidence in you. He’ll forgive your stupid high school affair and write it off as the exuberance of youth or something, and you’ll go on to fulfill your destiny.”

  “What is my destiny?”

  “You’re getting closer to finding out,” she said. “Okay, I know what class he is supposed to be in right now.” She looked at her watch. “I know where he goes next. You’ll just be there waiting and catch his eye. I don’t think you’ll have any trouble doing that, do you?”

  “No, but—”

  “Take him somewhere to talk. Make it seem as though everything is fine, and you will be able to keep seeing him once he meets your father. I’ll watch from a safe distance to be sure it all goes well.”

  “But what if he wants to go somewhere now to spend the rest of the day with me? What do I say?”

  “Simple, Lorelei. I don’t know why these lies don’t come naturally to you. You say you took advantage of an opportunity to come here with me. I had to do something that would take an hour, and then you have to return home with me. You’ll see him Saturday night. The more he waits, the more excited he’ll be about your date, and the more vulnerable he’ll be.”

  I nodded slightly and started to lower my head.

  “Damn it, Lorelei,” she snapped. “Stop looking like you’re about to lose your best friend. Grin and bear it, and become Daddy’s true daughter. If Buddy Gilroy looks at your face with that expression on it, you’ll spook him and lose him, and then we’ll both have to deal with bigger problems, problems you caused.”

  “Okay, okay. Don’t yell at me,” I said.

  “Let’s go,” she said, and got out of the car.

  She started walking away quickly, her annoyance with me palpable. I practically had to run to catch up to her, but when I did, she didn’t slow down or speak. I followed her across the campus to the place where she wanted me to wait.

  “All right. You stay here. It will only be minutes now.”

  “Should I just stay here in this place with him the whole time?”

  “No, of course not. Do I have to plan every little second of this for you? Go to that coffee shop nearby, but keep looking at your watch so he understands you can’t be with him long right now. I’m confident you can pull this off if you half try, Lorelei. Don’t mess it up. The consequences will be bad for both of us but worse for you,” she warned, and walked away.

  I leaned against a wall. Ironically, I wasn’t afraid of her as much as I was of Buddy. There was something special between us, and because of that, I was expecting he would surely see through me, see my deceit. What would I do then?

  I saw the students begin filing out of their classes, but I didn’t see him at all and had a fleeting hope that he had not gone to this class, that he had cut all of his classes again because he was too upset about not speaking to me or seeing me. Maybe he was back at his uncle’s house. If I could postpone this now, maybe I could postpone it forever. Moments later, when I was about to give up, however, he appeared, and when he saw me, his face brightened.

  “Lorelei, what are you doing here?” he asked, hurrying up to kiss me. “Not that I’m upset or anything like that. This is wonderful.”

  “Ava had to come here to do something she said would take about an hour. I realized it was an opportunity to see you and came along with her.”

  “Terrific.”

  “You have another class?”

  “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters much when I put it up against seeing you,” he said.

  I looked at my watch. “I have about forty-five minutes.”

  “What’s the rush? I could take you home.”

  “No,” I said quickly. “Not yet. I’ll tell you about that, about my plans for us.”

  “Okay, okay. Let’s go somewhere where we can talk.”

  “How about that coffee place just off campus?”

  “Perfect. Say, how do you know so much about everything here?”

  “Ava,” I said.

  “Oh, right. I was hoping you were going to say you’ve been here many times watching me from a distance or something romantic like that.”

  I looked to my right and left, but I didn’t see Ava. Even so, I felt her eyes were on me.

  “So, how did things go when your father returned?”

  “He was understanding, and he was wonderful in school today when he had to meet the principal. Things are back to normal.”

  “Well, he sounds like a neat guy.”

  “Neat? He’s immaculate.”

  Buddy laughed. “I should have said cool. No one says neat anymore. I’m so excited about seeing you so unexpectedly like this. I can’t think.”

  He took my hand, and we continued walking. It was another beautiful California day. The afternoons in spring were like this so often that people here took it for granted. I’d miss it when we moved away. The bright sunshine and deep blue skies washed away the darkness that could seep in from other places, troubling thoughts and fears. Daddy would say, “We’re having a little bit of Eden today.” No one could have put it better. I didn’t know why Ava had told Marla she was the best at quoting him. I knew I was the best. I was confident that among the three of us, I clung to his every word the most.

  “I take it you’re no longer worried about Ava seeing us together or anything,” he said as we crossed the street.

  “No. I told her about my seeing you, how determined I was. She was the one who said I’d have to bring you to meet Daddy.”

  “Really? That’s great.”

  We entered the coffee shop, and I ordered a tall chai tea. He got a coffee, and we sat at one of the tables outside.

  “So, what’s the plan?” he asked immediately.

  “I can see you Saturday. In fact, Ava will bring me to meet you.”

  “Why c
an’t I just pick you up? That way, I can see your father before we go out.”

  “He won’t be there. He’s returning between nine-thirty and ten, and the plan is that you’ll bring me home and we’ll spend some time with him.”

  “But I could do both. Why involve Ava?”

  “She wants it this way,” I said. “She likes to be in charge, and right now, I don’t want to upset her.”

  “Oh.” He thought a moment and then shrugged. “Well, that’s great, actually. We’ll get something to eat, spend some time at my uncle’s, and then I’ll take you home. I wish I could see you Friday night, too.”

  “I have something with my sisters.”

  “How come you’ve changed your mind about Ava and us? I mean, you were warning me off her as if she had the plague or something, and now—”

  “I told you. I had a long talk with her. She understands now that you’re not just any guy and that I’m going to see you no matter what she thinks or even what my father thinks. However, she likes playing the older sister looking out for the younger. It doesn’t do us any harm to let her think what she wants, does it?” I tried sounding annoyed with him for asking so many questions, but he didn’t pick up on it.

  “No, I guess not.” He nodded and smiled.

  Why can’t he see the deception in my face? I wondered. I was secretly hoping he would and that it would end there, but I guessed I was underestimating my skills at deception, or maybe his love for me simply blinded him.

  “Where will we meet? Where should I tell you to have Ava bring you? My uncle’s house?”

  “That’s fine,” I said.

  Finally, he looked a bit surprised, even skeptical. “That’s fine? How much did you tell her?”

  “I don’t have to tell Ava much. She gets the idea,” I said. “You’ve spent only a little time with Ava, but I think you know she’s pretty worldly.”