O Is for Outlaw

  I shook my head. “I quit.”

  “Good for you. I’ll never give it up myself. All this talk about health is fairly tedious. You probably exercise, too.” She cocked her head in reflection, striking a bemused pose. “Let’s see. What’s in fashion at the moment? You lift weights,” she said, and pointed a finger in my direction.

  “I jog five days a week, too. Don’t forget that,” I said, and pointed back at her.

  She took another sip of her drink. “Stephie tells me you’re looking for Mickey. Has he disappeared?”

  “Not as far as I know, but I’d like to get in touch with him. The only number I have turns out to be a disconnect. Have you heard from him lately?”

  “Not for years,” she said. A smiled formed on her lips, and she checked her fingernails. “That’s a curious question. I can’t believe you’d ask me. I’m sure there are other folks much more likely to know.”

  “Such as?”

  “Shack, for one. And who’s the other cop? Lit something. They were always thick as thieves.”

  “I just talked to Shack, which is how I got to you. Roy Littenberg died. I didn’t realize you and Eric were still in town.”

  She studied me for a moment through her cigarette smoke. Miss Dixie wasn’t dumb, and I could see her analyze the situation. “Where’s all this coming from?”

  “All what?”

  “You have something else in mind.”

  I reached down for my shoulder bag and removed the letter from the outside pocket. “Got your letter,” I said.

  “My letter,” she repeated blankly, her gaze fixed on the envelope.

  “The one you sent me in 1972,” I said. “Mickey tossed it in a box with some other mail that must have come the same day. He failed to deliver it, so I never read the letter until today.” For once, I seemed to have captured her full attention.

  “You’re not serious.”

  “I am.” I held up the letter like a paddle in a silent auction: my bid. “I had no idea you were balling my beloved husband. You want to talk about that?”

  She laughed and then caught herself. Her teeth were now as perfect as white horseshoes hinged together at the rear of her mouth. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I hope you won’t take offense, but you’re such a boob when it comes to men.”

  “Thanks. You know how I value your opinion.”

  “Nothing to be ashamed of. Most women don’t have the first clue about men.”

  “And you do?”

  “Of course.” Dixie studied me over the ribbon of cigarette smoke, taking my measure with her eyes. She paused and leaned forward to tap off a cylinder of ash into a cut glass dish on the coffee table in front of her.

  “What’s your theory, Miss Dixie, if I may be so bold as to inquare?” I said, affecting a Southern accent.

  “Take advantage of them before they take advantage of you,” she said, her smile as thin as glass.

  “Nice. Romantic. I better write that down.” I pretended to make a note on the palm of my hand.

  “Well, it’s not nice but it’s practical. In case you haven’t noticed, most men don’t give a shit about romance. They want to get in your panties and let it go at that. What else can I say?”

  “That about covers it,” I said. “May I ask, why him? There were dozens of cops at the Honky-Tonk back then.”

  She hesitated, apparently considering what posture to affect. “He was very good,” she said, with a trace of a smile.

  “I didn’t ask for an evaluation. I’d like to know what went on.”

  “Why the attitude? You seem so … belligerent. In the end, you’d have left him anyway, so what do you care?”

  “Indulge me,” I said. “For the sake of argument.”

  She lifted one thin shoulder in a delicate shrug. “He and I were an item long before the two of you met. He broke it off for a while and then he came back. Why attach anything to it? We were not in love by any stretch. I might have admired him, but I can’t say I liked him much. He had a rough kind of charm, but then again, you know that. I wouldn’t even call it an affair in any true sense of the word. More like sexual addiction, a mutual service we performed. Or I should say, that’s what it was for me. I don’t know about him. It’s a question of pathology. He probably couldn’t help himself any more than I.”

  “Oh, please. Don’t give me that horseshit about sexual addiction. What crap,” I said. “Did it ever occur to you that wedding vows mean something?”

  “Yours didn’t seem to mean much. Until death do us part? At least I’m still married, which is more than you can say. Or am I wrong about that? Rude of me. You might have married someone else and had a whole passel of kids. I would have asked before now, but I didn’t see a ring.”

  “Were you with him the night Benny Quintero died?”

  Her smiled faded. “Yes.” Flat. No hesitation, no emotion, and no elaboration.

  “Why didn’t he tell me?”

  “Did you really want to know?”

  “It would have helped. I’m not sure what I’d have done, but it might have made a difference.”

  “I doubt that. You were such a cocky little thing. Really, quite obnoxious. You knew it all back then. Mickey wanted you spared.”

  “And why is that?”

  “He was crazy about you. I’m surprised you’d have to ask.”

  “Given the fact he was screwing you,” I said.

  “You knew his history the day you married him. Did you seriously imagine he’d be monogamous?”

  “Why’d you take it on yourself to tattle when Mickey asked you not to?”

  “I was afraid he’d get a raw deal—which he did, as it turns out.”

  “Did Eric know about Mickey?”

  There was the tiniest flicker of hesitation. “We’ve come to an accommodation—”

  “I’m not talking about now. Did he know back then?”

  She took a long, deliberate drag on her cigarette while she formed her reply. “Life was difficult for Eric. He had a hard time adjusting after he got back.”

  “In other words, no.”

  “There was no emotional content between Mickey and me. Why inflict unnecessary pain?”

  “How about so your respective spouses knew the truth about you? As long as there’s no love—as long as it’s simply sexual servicing, as you claim—why couldn’t you tell us?”

  She was silent, giving me a wide-eyed stare.

  “The question isn’t hypothetical. I really want to know,” I said. “Why not be honest with us if your relationship meant so little?” I waited. “Okay, I’ll help. You want the answer? Try this. Because we’d have kicked your respective butts and put an end to it. I don’t know about Eric, but I have no tolerance for infidelity.”

  “Perhaps there are things about loyalty you never grasped,” she said.

  I closed my eyes briefly. I wanted to lift her front chair legs and flip her backward, just for the satisfaction of hearing her head thud against the stone floor. Instead, I silently recited what I remembered of the penal code: An assault is an unlawful attempt, coupled with a present ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another … . A battery is any willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another.

  I smiled. “You think it was okay to make fools of us? To gratify your whims at our expense? If you think that’s loyalty, you’re really fucked.”

  “You don’t have to be crude.”

  Someone spoke from the far side of the patio. “Excuse me. Dixie?”

  Both of us looked over. Stephie stood in the doorway.

  For once, Dixie seemed embarrassed, and the color rose in her cheeks. “Yes, Stephie. What is it?”

  “Ms. Yablonsky’s here. Did you want to talk to her now or should I reschedule?”

  Dixie exhaled with impatience, stubbing out her cigarette. “Have her wait in my office. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  “Sure. No problem.” Stephie closed the sliding glass door, watching for a mom
ent before she moved away.

  “This has gone far enough,” Dixie said to me. “I can see you enjoy getting up on your high horse. You always liked claiming the moral high ground—”

  “I do. That’s correct. It’s mine to claim in this case.”

  “When you’ve finished your drink, you can let yourself out.”

  “Thanks. This was fun. You haven’t changed at all.”

  “Nor have you,” she said.

  7

  I was halfway down the driveway, heading toward the road, when I saw a vehicle coming my way. It was a custom van of a sort I hadn’t seen before, sleek, black, and boxy, with Eric Hightower at the wheel. I’m not sure I would have recognized him if I hadn’t been half expecting to see him anyway. I slowed the VW to a crawl and gave a tap to the horn as I rolled down my window. He drew alongside me and pulled to a stop, rolling his window down in response. Underneath the tank top he wore, his bulging shoulders and biceps looked smooth and tanned. In the old Honky-Tonk days, his gaze was perpetually glassy and his skin had the pallor of a man who’d made a science of mixing his medications with alcohol, LSD, and grass. Then, his beard had been sparse and he’d worn his straight black hair loose across his shoulders or pulled back in a ponytail and tied with a rag.

  The man who studied me quizzically from the driver’s side of the van had been restored to good health. His head was now shaved, his skull as neat as a newborn’s. Gone were the beard and the bleary-eyed stare. I’d seen pictures of Eric in uniform before he left for Vietnam: young and handsome, twenty-one years old, largely untouched by life. After two tours of duty, he’d come back to the world looking gaunt and abused, ill-humored and withdrawn. He’d seemed to have a lot on his mind, but nothing he was capable of explaining to the rest of us. And none of us dared ask. One look at his face was sufficient to convince us that what he’d seen was hellish and wouldn’t bear close scrutiny. In retrospect, I suspect he imagined us judgmental and disapproving when in truth we were frightened of what we saw in his eyes. Better to look away than suffer that torment.

  “Can I help you?” he asked.

  “Hi, Eric. Kinsey Millhone. We hung around together years ago at the Tonk out in Colgate.”

  I watched his features clear and then brighten when he figured out who I was. “Hey. Of course. No fooling. How’re you doing?” He leaned his left arm out the window and we touched fingertips briefly, as close to a handshake as we could manage from separate vehicles. His dark eyes were clear. In his drinking days, he’d been scrawny, but the process of aging had added the requisite fifteen pounds. Success sat well on him. He seemed substantial and self-possessed.

  I said, “You look great. What happened to your hair?”

  He glanced at himself in his rearview mirror, running a hand across his smooth-shaven skull. “You like it? It feels weird. I did that a month ago and can’t quite decide.”

  “I do. It’s better than the ponytail.”

  “Well, ain’t that the truth. What brings you here?”

  “I’m looking for my ex-husband and thought you might have a line on him.” The possibility seemed far-fetched and I wondered if he’d press me on the subject, but he let it pass.

  “Magruder? I haven’t seen him in years.”

  “That’s what Dixie said. I talked to Mickey’s buddy, Shack, a little while ago and your names came up. You remember Pete Shackelford?”

  “Vaguely.”

  “He thought you might know, but I guess not, huh.”

  Eric said, “Sorry I can’t help. What’s the deal?”

  “I’m not really sure. It looks like I have a debt to settle with him and I’d like to clear it.”

  “I can ask around, if you want. I still see some of those guys at the gym. One of them might know.”

  “Thanks, but I can probably manage on my own. I’ll call his lawyer, and if that fails I’ve got some other little ways. I know how his mind works. Mickey’s devious.”

  Eric’s gaze held mine, and I felt an unspoken communication scuttle between us like the shadow of a cloud passing overhead. His mood seemed to shift and he let the sweep of his arm encompass the treestrewn property surrounding us on all sides. “So what do you think? Nine point nine acres and it’s paid off—all mine. Well, half mine, given California’s community property laws.”

  “It’s beautiful. You’ve done well.”

  “Thanks. I had help.”

  “Dixie or AA?”

  “I’d have to say both.”

  A plumber’s truck appeared in the driveway, pulling up behind Eric’s van. He glanced back and waved to let the driver know he was aware of him and wouldn’t take all day. He turned back to me. “Why don’t you turn the car around and come back to the house? We can all have dinner together and spend time catching up.”

  “I’d love to, but I’d better not. Dixie’s got interviews and I have some things to take care of myself. Maybe another time. I’ll give you a call and we can set something up.” I put my car in gear.

  “Great. Do that. You promise?”

  “Scout’s honor.”

  The driver of the truck behind him gave an impatient beep on his horn. Eric glanced back at him and waved again. “Anyway, nice to see you. Behave yourself.”

  “You too.”

  He rolled his window up, and I could see him accelerate with the help of a device on his steering wheel. It was the only reminder I’d had that he was a double amputee. He tapped his horn as he departed and I continued down the driveway, the two of us moving in opposite directions.

  I headed into town, pondering the nature of the divine comedy. Two of my pet beliefs had been reversed in the past few hours. Given the brevity of my marriage to Mickey, I’d always assumed he’d been faithful. That notion turned out to be false so it was stricken from the record, along with any lingering confidence I felt. I’d also suspected—well, let’s be honest about this—I’d been convinced Mickey’d played a part in Benny Quintero’s death. It turned out he hadn’t, so we could strike that one, too. Guilty of infidelity, innocent of manslaughter. Someone with talent could convert that to lyrics for a country-western tune. In some ways Dixie’d nailed it. Did I really want to know about this shit? I guess I didn’t have a choice. The question was what to do with it?

  The minute I hit the office, I hauled out the telephone book and leafed through the yellow pages to the section listing attorneys. I ran a finger down the column until I found Mark Bethel’s name in a little box of its own. The ad read CRIMINAL DEFENSE and, under that heading, specified the following: Drugs, Molest, Weapons, White Collar, DUI, Theft/Fraud, Assault, Spousal Abuse, and Sex Crimes, which I thought just about covered it—except for murder, of course. Mark Bethel had been Mickey’s attorney when he resigned from the department, a move Mickey’d made on Mark’s advice. I’d never been crazy about Mark, and after Mickey’s unceremonious departure there was little reason for our paths to cross. On the odd occasion when I ran into him around town, we tended to be cordial, feigning a warmth neither of us felt. We were bound by old business, one of those uneasy alliances that survived more on form than content. Despite my lukewarm attitude, I had to admit he was an excellent attorney, though in the past few years he’d set his practice aside in his bid for public office—one Republican among many hoping for a shot at Alan Cranston’s senate seat in the coming November elections. In the past ten years, his political ambitions had begun to emerge. He’d allied himself with the local party machine, ingratiating himself with Republicans by working tirelessly on Deukmejian’s 1982 gubernatorial campaign. He’d opened his Montebello home for countless glitzy fund-raisers. He’d run for and won a place on the county board of supervisors; then he’d run for state assembly. Logically, his next step should have been a try for Congress, but he’d skipped that and entered the primary for a U.S. Senate seat. He must have felt his political profile was sufficient to net him the kind of votes he’d need to outstrip Ed Zschau. Fat chance, in my opinion, but then what did I know? I hat
e politicians; they lie more flagrantly than I do and with a lot less imagination. It helped that Bethel was married to a woman who had a fortune of her own.

  I’d heard through the grapevine Laddie Bethel was bankrolling the major portion of his campaign. She’d made a name for herself locally as a fund-raiser of some persuasion for numerous charitable organizations. Whatever worthy cause she adopted, she certainly wasn’t shy about sending me donation requests with a return envelope enclosed. Inevitably, there was a series of amounts to be circled: $2,500, $1,000, $500, $250. If the charitable event was an evening affair—“black tie optional” (in case your green one was at the cleaners)—I’d also be offered the opportunity to buy a “table” for my cronies at a thousand dollars a plate. Little did she know I was, by nature, so cheap that I’d sit there and pick the stamp off the prestamped envelope. In the meantime, Mark maintained an office and a secretary with his old law firm.

  I dialed Mark Bethel’s office, and his secretary answered, followed by an immediate “May I put you on hold?”

  By the time I said sure, she was already gone. I was treated to a jazz rendition of “Scarborough Fair.”

  Mark’s secretary clicked back on the line. “Thanks for holding. This is Judy. May I help you?”

  “Yes, hi, Judy. This is Kinsey Millhone. I’m an old friend of Mark’s. I think I met you at the Bethels’ Christmas party a couple of years back. Is he there by any chance?”

  “Oh, hi, Kinsey. I remember you,” she said. “No, he’s off at a committee meeting, probably gone for the day. You want him to call in the morning, or is there something I can do?”

  “Maybe,” I said. “I’m trying to get in touch with my ex-husband. Mickey Magruder was a client of his.”