Broken Flower

  "Jordan," I said, not waiting.

  "Right. You're getting as pretty as your mother," Mr. Pitts told me. "How old are you now?" "I'm seven."

  "And Ian's..."

  "Thirteen," Ian said. "I'll be fourteen next January."

  "I remember when you were just a little bigger than a squirrel."

  "Squirrels range from as little as five ounces to about three pounds. I don't imagine I was ever that small," Ian said.

  "Is that so?"

  "Here," Mother said, handing me my little suitcase. "Christopher, get the cabin opened."

  "Oh. I done that already," Mr. Pitts said. 'Opened all the windows for you yesterday. Fireplace is cleaned out. I had the chimney done this year, too. Your mother knows. I suspect, Mr. March. I sent her all the bills."

  "Then she knows," Mama quipped.

  "Christopher, are we getting our things inside or what?"

  Daddy was standing there with his hands on his hips, still turning slowly and looking over the property as if he already "Yeah, sure. Looks like you're taking care of things fine," he told Mr. Pitts.

  Mr. Pitts smiled at him. "Thank you. Appreciate it. It's the finest cabin on the lake as far as I'm concerned."

  "That it is," Daddy said, looking up at the cabin. It had a small porch with a swing seat on it and two hickory wood rockers. He glanced at Mama, who was just staring at him now, and then hurried to the bags. Ian had his two out. Mr. Pitts dug out the others and we all headed for the short, wooden stairway.

  Mama stood in the doorway for a moment looking over the living room. The wooden floor had a large red and black checker wool area rug.

  Grandmother Emma had at least been the one to decorate and furnish the cabin in rich, rustic furnishings, including quilts on the walls, cast-iron lamps, a split log mantel, and a stairway with the steps built out of split logs, too. She included rustic leather furnishings like the grizzly bear leather chair and ottoman. The small bar had western iron bar stools with tooled leather seats. Above the family room was a large chandelier made of elk antlers, which Daddy said cost as much as all the furnishings. Apparently, Grandmother Emma agreed to the cabin only if she could decorate it her way.

  Ian and I both had queen-size beds in our rooms upstairs. We had warm bedding, reversible

  comforters, and pillow shams.

  His was in hunter green and mine was light khaki with maroon. There were nightstand lamps also made of antlers and both our bedrooms had centered chandeliers that were shaped like pine cones. My windows looked out on the rear of the property and Ian's more to the north side. From the porch we could see the lake.

  Somehow, this time it all looked more promising to me. Maybe it would be good for us here. Maybe we would become the family I knew Mama wanted us to be.

  Was it possible?

  Or was it just another dream to lose in the morning?

  9 At the Cabin

  . It took two trips to get everything we brought into the house. Mama checked the refrigerator and the kitchen panty and told Daddy we had to go shopping for food immediately. He wanted to go after we had gone to dinner, but she thought we'd be tired and not very enthusiastic about going to a supermarket.

  "You're right about that, Carol. The one thing I'm not looking forward to seeing is another supermarket," he said, and groaned.

  "Then I'll just go myself," she said. I offered to go with her. Ian was already outside exploring. I imagined he was hoping to find a hive of wasps or bees. Last year he had and spent all his time studying their movement and activity, writing about it in his journal and even making little drawings. He won a science project award for it in school.

  Daddy quickly agreed to Mama and me going alone. He decided he would go to the dock to check on the boat with Mr. Pitts. Minutes later, my mother and I were off to shop. When we returned. Daddy was still not back and Ian was nowhere in sight either.

  "Figures, neither male would be here to carry in the groceries," Mama remarked. That took us two trips, too.

  I helped her put things away and then she went up to unpack her and Daddy's things and put them in closets and drawers. She said she would help me with mine, but I should get some air and look for Ian to tell him to unpack his things. I went out front and called for him a few times and then I wandered around to the rear of the cabin. Finally. I saw him coming out of the woods. He looked very excited.

  "Where were you?" I asked as he walked toward me.

  "I was looking for a carnivorous pitcher plant. They live on insects. I read about Sarracenia purpurea being found up here and went looking for some bogs. I kept walking and walking until I was on the other side of the woods and found myself in the state park. They've opened up more of it for camping and I met this girl who knows more about plants than I do. She's sixteen." He paused. "She thinks I'm sixteen, too, so don't tell her I'm only thirteen. Her name's Flora and that's no accident. Her parents have a nursery in Albany, New York. She's not very pretty," he added, "but she knows a lot about flowers. But here's the best thing," he added, "she and her brother Addison saw a black bear yesterday. We're going to go look for it tomorrow. Addison's fifteen, but he's already six feet two. Very skinny. Flora says he grew like a weed."

  I stood there with my mouth slightly open. I had never heard Ian go on and on about anyone like this.

  "They're here for another few weeks," he said.

  "Oh," he added,

  "I didn't find the Sarracenia purpurea, but Flora says she thinks she knows where to look. She also claims to have a great butterfly collection. I didn't see it yet, but she seems to know what she's talking about."

  "Mama wanted me to find you and tell you to go unpack." "What's the rush? We're here for a while, aren't we?"

  Again. I was surprised. Ian was always so concerned about being organized and set up.

  "Ah, it's too late to do much more today anyway and Flora had to go with her parents to visit someone." He started for the cabin, stopped, and then turned back to me. "By the way, Jordan, plants can be precocious, too."

  "They can?"

  "And there's sweet corn that's known as precocious,'" he added, and continued toward the house.

  I ran after him.

  "How come you never told me that before?" I asked him. He kept walking. "Ian?"

  He stopped and looked at me. "I told Flora about you and she told me about the plants," he said, and continued walking.

  "You told someone about me?" I cried. "Mama will be very upset."

  "Don't worry about it," he said, continuing to walk toward the stairway. "I don't think Flora's a gossip and silly like most girls her age. And besides," he said when he reached the front step, more important, she's like you. She had the same thing happen to her when she was about your age, so you'll want to talk to her."

  He continued into the house, leaving me standing in shock and amazement until I heard Daddy call to me from the bottom of the driveway.

  "How was the supermarket?" he asked, laughing. His face looked flushed and when he drew closer. I could smell the whiskey on his breath. He had stopped at the little restaurant and bar near the dock. I thought. Mama hated it when he drank during the day. This was going to upset her and she wasn't very happy as it was.

  "All right," I said.

  "Everything easy to find, properly labeled, aisles wide enough, clerks helpful, checkout efficient?" he rattled off. Then he laughed again. He swayed a little as he stood there looking at me. "You feel okay, Jordan?"

  "Yes," I said.

  "You started your medicine, right?"

  "Yes, Daddy."

  "Well..." He paused and looked back down the driveway as if he had forgotten something. "You'll be fine," he said, ran his hand softly over my head, and walked to the steps. "Let's get inside and hear all the complaints. The quicker we let her get it all out, the better off we'll all be," he muttered.

  I followed. Both Mama and Ian were in their rooms getting things organized.

  "Lucy. I'm home," Daddy called from
the living room, and laughed at his own imitation of the I Love Lacy show. Although it was on reruns, it was practically the only television show, other than sports, that he watched.

  Mama stepped out on the loft. She had a mop and a pail in her hands.

  "What's going on?" Daddy asked. "Why are you playing maid already?"

  "Our Mr. Pitts didn't check the toilets. One apparently froze and cracked this winter. Ian used it and it leaked all over the floor.

  "Damn," Daddy said. "Mother is going to be fit to be tied."

  "Mother? What about me, Christopher? I'm the one doing the mop-up or hadn't you noticed?"

  "I'll call him right away and get him to install a new toilet immediately," Daddy promised. The news sobered him quickly.

  "Good." Mama said.

  "Where do you want to tat tonight? The Italian place or the Beehive or what?"

  "I don't care at the moment. Whatever," Mama said, "Jordan, get up here and start putting your things away."

  "Welcome to your summer," Daddy whispered in my direction, but the way his eyes rolled. I wasn't sure if he meant it for me or for himself.

  Afterward, while we were having our dinner at the Beehive, Mr. Pitts installed a new toilet. He was waiting for us when we returned to tell us he couldn't imagine why the old one had cracked.

  "I'm just surprised neither you nor Mrs. Pitts noticed," Mama said.

  "It had to just happen recently." He looked at Daddy.

  "Sure, that could happen," Daddy said. 'It's no one's fault," he added

  "I checked every other fixture, faucet, everything," he told Daddy. "Nothing else has a problem. Sorry about this mess, Mrs. March. If you want, have Helen over here tomorrow to redo the bathroom."

  "It's done," Mama said. "Forget about it."

  "Sorry." he said again. He handed Daddy the bill for the new toilet and left.

  "I'll just take care of this myself," Daddy said. "No need to bother my mother about it, now that I think of it."

  "That's a good idea, Christopher,'" Mama said. "No need to bother your mother."

  "Really, Caroline, she'll just take it out on Mr. Pitts. Why should we get him into trouble over something like this?"

  She looked at him in the strangest way. I thought.

  "Well, at leastI'm happy you're protecting someone from your mother," she said.

  Daddy just laughed and went into the living room to watch the end of a baseball game.

  Ian came to my room and gave me my birthday present book. "After breakfast, were going to hook up with Flora and Addison," he said. "Morning's the best time to catch sight of the black bear."

  I wasn't too happy about surprising a bear in the woods, but Ian assured me that if we kept our distance, we'd be fine and it would be an experience I would not soon forget.

  "It'll be interesting watching it for a while and then we'll go looking for some carnivorous plants. You can talk to Flora. She won't mind questions, but don't let her brother hear any of it," he advised. "He's a bit of a dork."

  "What's a dork?"

  "Goof. You'll see," Ian said.

  "How did you learn so much about them so fast?" I asked him.

  "People reveal themselves very quickly to you if you're observant."

  "What's that mean?"

  "You listen to how they talk, carefully watch what they do, how they act, their facial expressions, everything," he explained, a little impatient with me. "Just don't be oblivious.'"

  "I don't know what oblivious means, Ian."

  "Jordan, for now, take my word for everything, will you? It will save time," he added, returning to his usual impatience when it came to talking to me. "I'm setting up my stuff "

  He left to arrange his microscope and his computer equipment in his room. Mama came in soon afterward and placed my medicine on my dresser.

  "I'll come in every morning as soon as I'm up and make sure you do it," she told me. She looked around the room. Is everything okay in here?"

  "Yes, Mama."

  She smiled. "We'll have a good time here despite the rocky start," she promised. "Any problems, cramps, anything?"

  I shook my head. Could the medicine have already begun to work?

  "Okay." She glanced at the book Ian had given me. It was on the table by my bed. A wave of sadness washed over her face and then she sighed, shook her head, and forced a smile. "Don't forget to brush your teeth," she said, and left.

  I guess I was more tired than I had thought because I fell asleep very quickly that first night in the cabin, and if I had any dreams, bad or otherwise. I didn't remember them. As she promised. Mama was right there when I woke up to give me my medicine and make sure I took it correctly. At breakfast Daddy asked Ian to go with him to try out the boat, but Ian was determined to meet Flora and Addison.

  "How can you not want to go in the boat, Ian? If you don't want to waterski, there must be interesting things to see on the lake, too, at least,"

  "Next time," Ian said. "I met some kids and we're going to look for carnivorous plants." Wisely, he said nothing about the bear.

  "Carnivorous plants?" Daddy looked at me and Mama. "What about you two?"

  "Sure," Mama said. "We'll go. Right, Jordan?"

  "I wanted to go with Ian," I said.

  It took Mama by surprise. She looked at Ian. She knew he wasn't fond of me tagging along on his nature expeditions. "What does Ian have to say about that?"

  Ian shrugged. "She should meet some kids, too," he replied.

  "I don't know if I want her wandering about just yet," Mama said.

  "Oh, let them be, Carol. They're kids. Wandering about, meeting other kids, makes it fun for them to be here."

  Mama looked worried, but Ian promised not to wander ten feet from me and not to go terribly far from the property, whatever that meant.

  "You're always saying he's more responsible than I am," Daddy told her. "So what are you worried about?"

  "Being more responsible than you. Christopher, isn't very much," Mama told him. He laughed.

  "Do you hear how your mother constantly tears me down, kids?"

  "I have a good tutor," Mama said. Daddy shook his head at her, sipped some coffee, and then went up to dress for his boat ride.

  "You two better promise you don't get into any trouble," Mama told us. "I'll be back for lunch." She followed Daddy upstairs.

  "If we see the bear, don't mention it to them," Ian told me. "They wouldn't understand. Okay?"

  "Okay," I said. Secrets were being wound around me like rope. Soon I wouldn't be able to move.

  "Put on your oldest shoes. We might step through some mud and water."

  Excited. I ran upstairs to finish dressing, too. We left before Mama and Daddy went to the boat. She called her warnings after us as we walked around the cabin and headed for the woods.

  "If the weather changes, come right home,'" she added.

  Ian said there was no chance of that. It was going, to be a very sunny day with barely a ribbon of clouds in the distant horigon.

  As we traipsed through the forest. Ian pointed out things, insects, plants, and a rabbit, which he called a herbivorous mammal. "'There's a difference between rabbits and hares," he said.

  "Hairs?"

  "Hares, H-A-R-E-S. Hares are larger with longer ears and legs and their young are born furred and open-eyed. Rabbits are born blind. They are mainly nocturnal, which means they're out and about in the dark more Both rabbits and hares excrete soft pellets.'"

  "Excrete?"

  He stopped. 'Make, Jordan. Go to the bathroom,"

  "Oh."

  "Then they eat it."

  "Oh, poo," I said, grimacing.

  "And then they drop it out of them again in a dry pellet. Both rabbits and hares are famous for how quicky they breed new rabbits. They do it in about thirty days. People take nine months. Rabbits usually drop about five to eight in a litter."

  "Babies?"

  "That's right." He paused and looked at me. "I wonder if instances of precoc
ious puberty occur in lower animals, like rabbits. I'll have to do some research on that."

  We walked on with me trailing behind him and occasionally hearing him throw off some information. I was back to thinking about myself, however. I remembered Daddy asking Mama if I could have a baby. She wouldn't talk about it. Could I? Would I have one or many more like a rabbit? Did precocious puberty mean it could happen in less than nine months? Every day there seemed to be more and more questions to be answered about myself.

  "Hurry up," Ian called. Because I was in such deep thought. I fell too far behind him.

  A little while later, we stepped into a clear field and I saw the campers and recreational vehicles. A tall boy to the right of one vehicle was throwing rocks at birds.

  "Addison," Ian called.

  The boy stopped and looked our way. "Hey," he called back, but continued to throw rocks.

  The door of the RV opened and a heavy girl not much taller than I was stepped out. Her light brown hair was chopped short in a crude pageboy. She wore a gray athletic shirt and jeans that hung, loosely off her wide hips. As we drew closer, I saw she had acne over her chin and cheeks. Her eyes were a vague blue, but lost in her round face because her cheeks were so plump. She had thick lips, too.

  "Hi, Flora," Ian said. He addressed her with as much excitement as I had ever heard him address anyone.

  Why did he like this girl so much?

  Her brother stood smiling at us. He had a long, beaklike nose, thinner lips, and a very sharp jawbone. His clothes, a pale 2-ray T-shirt and jeans, seemed to just hang on his frame. He had long arms and very long fingers, and clutched another rock in his right hand.

  "I nearly got one." he said.

  Flora smirked at him. "Their eyesight is so much keener than ours, Addison. You'll never surprise them with a rock. Give it up,,'

  "I nearly got one," he repeated.

  Flora looked at me. "You're Jordan, then," she said.

  "Yes, I'm Jordan."

  She studied me a moment, just the way Ian did from time to time, and then she turned to him. "There's a creek about a hundred yards north. We follow that and it will bring us to that small patch of wild berries I was telling you about."

  "Where at "

  She showed him her small camera. "It has a five-to-one goom, so we could get some good shots without getting that close."