The Dastard

  They sang, played, and drumbeat themselves as invisible as Sim was. Then he carried them to the roof of the castle, and they left him there and went quietly down into the upper hall.

  There were three wild little princesses dashing madly along, playing Faun & Nymph without the benefit of any fauns. They simply liked running and screaming.

  "Were we like that?" Melody whispered rhetorically.

  "We must have been," Harmony agreed.

  "We still are, when we get young on Ptero," Rhythm said.

  Princess Ivy appeared, properly appalled. "Girls! At least put on some clothing!"

  "Awwww," they protested in unison, and went into their room.

  "No one will ever know we're gone," Melody said, satisfied.

  "The demon kids are doing a good job," Harmony agreed.

  "And so is D. Metria," Rhythm said.

  Ivy looked around, smiling. "I hope there aren't any unfamiliar ghosts in here," she said loudly to the supposedly empty hall. "We wouldn't want our regular ghosts to get jealous."

  Melody realized that they needed to be silent as well as invisible, lest they arouse suspicion. They shut up and went to the Tapestry room. Fortunately it was empty.

  They directed their thoughts to the Dastard, and in a moment a picture formed of lutans riding horses hard at night, just across the border in Mundania. The poor animals were getting worn out, but the beastly lutans had no mercy.

  "That's not it," Melody complained. "We're looking for the Dastard."

  The scene changed. Now it showed northwest Xanth, just inside the border with Mundania. Animals were crossing, traveling from Mundania into Xanth. They were weird: cats, cows, frogs, and other mundanish beasts, in great numbers.

  "Why, it's an Animal Wave," Harmony said, amazed. "Like a Human Wave, only comprised of animals."

  "But we never heard of such a Wave," Rhythm protested.

  Then a nondescript man appeared in the picture. He saw the animals, and disappeared. But the picture changed, following him as he reappeared at the border just as the first animal was finding a path into Xanth. He dragged a big pile of wickedly barbed thorn-brush there, blocking it off so that the animal couldn't pass.

  "That's the Dastard!" Melody exclaimed. "He saw the animals getting into Xanth, so he went back to earlier in time and stopped them."

  "Is he trying to protect Xanth?" Harmony asked, perplexed.

  "We don't need protection from animals," Rhythm pointed out. "Their offspring will have magic soon enough."

  An invisible light bulb flashed over Melody's invisible head. "He did it to mess up the animals! They were happy discovering Xanth, so he stopped them."

  "What a dastardly deed," Harmony said, outraged.

  "Precisely," Rhythm agreed. "That's what he does. That's why we have to stop him."

  "But what was that prior picture, of the lutans riding the Mundane horses?" Melody asked.

  "Maybe it related, and we didn't realize it," Harmony said.

  They turned the Tapestry back to that scene, and discovered that this time the Dastard had made a hole in the interface that let the lutans out so that they could bring misery to Mundane horses. This wasn't to help the lutans, for they became gnarled and unhappy without the magic of Xanth, but to torment the horses. Another dastardy deed.

  "We oriented the Tapestry on the Dastard," Rhythm said. "But we didn't tell it when. We should have specified the present time."

  The Tapestry evidently heard, for the picture changed again. Now it showed the Dastard with a centaur filly. The filly was leading the way into a bower at the edge of the Dead Forest. Then suddenly she became a moderately pretty adult woman.

  "What happened?" Melody asked.

  "She must be a were-centaur," Harmony said. "She changes from woman to centaur."

  "What would the Dastard want with a were-centaur?" Rhythm asked.

  Then suddenly they saw. The woman was showing her polka-dot panties. The Dastard freaked out, but then she removed them and he returned to animation. Then--

  "They're summoning the stork!" Melody said.

  But just before they could do so, the woman disappeared and a tree trunk appeared in her place. The three princesses were floored. They fell in a tangle of invisible bodies.

  Harmony was first to pick herself up from the floor. "She has another form! She's a shape changer."

  "She must be teasing the Dastard," Rhythm said, returning to her feet. "Though she certainly had seemed willing a moment ago."

  The tree trunk vanished and an ogress appeared. She remained in place, and so did the Dastard, just waiting. "What are they up to?" Melody asked.

  Then the woman reappeared. She immediately clasped the Dastard.

  "The changes are involuntary!" Harmony cried. "So they had to wait until she turned girl again."

  "What a complicated tryst," Rhythm said, impressed.

  Then something even stranger happened. The trees of the Dead Forest started to animate. Their bare twigs expanded, forming buds, and the buds sprouted leaves.

  "It's coming to life!" Melody said, amazed. "The Dead Forest is no more."

  "But it's a landmark," Harmony said. "It's been dead for decades."

  "Which makes its transformation a dastardly deed," Rhythm concluded.

  But Melody wasn't so sure. "Couldn't it be that the bad deed was the curse that killed the forest? Living trees must be better than dead ones."

  "I'm sure he didn't do it to be nice," Harmony said.

  "So maybe he didn't do it at all," Rhythm concluded. "It happened while he was distracted by the were-female."

  That seemed to make sense. "He was coming to stop the revival," Melody said. "But the were-female distracted him with her panties, and the forest recovered."

  "But why did it recover?" Harmony asked. "After all this time?"

  "We'll just have to see," Rhythm said.

  They had the Tapestry orient on the center of the Dead (now living) Forest. There was an enormous beating heart, and there stood a girl with an empty flask. They played the scene back and verified that the girl had emptied the flask on the Heart of the forest, and brought it to life. The flask must have contained healing Elixir, though there seemed to be too little of it to manage a job such as this.

  They tracked it back farther, and discovered something astonishing: The werewoman had found the Spring of Life, and filled the flask with its Elixir. Then she had met the Dastard and the girl--and given the flask to the girl just before going into the bower with the Dastard.

  "The Dastard knew about it--and didn't stop it," Melody said. "There must be some decency in him after all."

  "Unless he goes back now and unhappens it," Harmony said.

  "Maybe having told the were-woman he wouldn't, so she would show him her panties," Rhythm finished.

  They decided to get on to the Dead Forest and intercept the Dastard before he could do that. They left the room and the hall and the castle quietly, and found Sim, who was waiting patiently and invisibly on the roof.

  "To the Dead Forest," Melody said. "Only it has changed."

  "How can it have changed?" Sim squawked as he took off, carrying them.

  "You'll see," Harmony said.

  Very soon they were there. The trees below were vibrant in their new foliage. Sim circled, confused. "I don't see the Dead Forest," he squawked.

  "Yes you do," Rhythm said. "Isn't it beautiful?"

  "But this forest is alive." Then he caught on, for he was the smartest of birds. "It has been restored!"

  "And we are here in part to see that it stays restored," Melody said.

  "To take out the Dastard before he unhappens it," Harmony agreed.

  "Because we think he let it happen just so he could get at some panties," Rhythm concluded.

  Now they saw the great Heart of the forest, powerfully beating. Sim circled down while they filled in the details they had discovered.

  There was barely room in the clearing for Sim to land without touching
the Heart, but he managed by spiraling carefully down. The Heart was even more impressive at close range, as it thumped steadily, majestically serving the forest. But the girl they had seen with the flask was gone; they must have just missed her.

  "We'll look for the Dastard on the ground," Melody said.

  "While you fly up and check from the air," Harmony said.

  "We'll meet outside," Rhythm finished.

  Sim nodded, taxied forward, then spread his giant invisible wings and launched into the air. They felt the down-draft of his wingbeat. Then they started walking.

  "That girl must be going to rejoin the Dastard," Melody said.

  "So all we have to do is follow her," Harmony agreed.

  "Let's make her footprints glow," Rhythm suggested.

  They sang and played, and the girl's footprints glowed, making them easy to follow. The three invisible princesses did not hurry, as they did not want to catch up until after the girl rejoined the Dastard.

  Then they saw two young men walking the other way. "Maybe they've seen the Dastard," Melody said.

  "We had better talk to them," Harmony agreed.

  "So we'll have to turn visible," Rhythm said.

  "Maybe better if just one of us does," Melody said.

  "You," Harmony agreed.

  "Now," Rhythm agreed.

  So Melody turned visible and approached the two young men. They spied her and came close to freaking out.

  Oh, no! She had forgotten how she was garbed, with a bulging low blouse and skirt so short that it was dangerous to turn her back. She hastily shored up the blouse and shored down the skirt.

  The men recovered somewhat. "Hello, fair maiden," one called.

  "Hello, halfway handsome man," she replied. "I am Mel, with a talent of--of maybe appearing prettier than I am." She didn't like lying, but she couldn't tell the truth.

  "I am Geo," he said. "This is my brother Graphy. We are twins who know where every place is."

  "But we've never seen this forest before," Graphy said. "So we're investigating."

  "I believe I can help you there," Melody said. "This is the Dead Forest. Its Heart evidently started beating again, and restored it to vitality."

  "The Dead Forest!" Geo said, amazed. "This is where it is supposed to be."

  "But it was so different, we couldn't believe it," Graphy said.

  "I found it hard to believe too," Melody said. "But I just saw the beating Heart."

  "We must verify that," Geo said. "No offense intended; we simply have to see everything for ourselves."

  "I understand," Melody said. "I won't stand in your way."

  "Oh, we would like to have you stand in our way," Graphy said. "Are you by any chance looking for company?"

  "Not at the moment," Melody said. "Did you see a girl walking the same way I am?"

  "Nobody could walk the way you do," Geo said, trying to draw his eyes from her blouse.

  "Nobody," Graphy agreed, trying to pull his eyes from her skirt.

  Oh. "I mean, the same direction."

  "Yes," Geo said. "Her name is Becka, and she's fourteen. She seems like a nice girl, but a bit young."

  "Maybe I'll catch up with her," Melody said. She walked on.

  "Maybe we'll meet again, when the moment is better," Graphy said as they walked on.

  "Maybe," Melody agreed noncommittally. She of course could not make any commitments here in Xanth, because she would soon be returning to Ptero.

  "Too bad," Harmony said invisibly when they were clear.

  "They're cute boys," Rhythm said.

  "But only two of them," Melody reminded them. "And three of us."

  "Still, we might look them up, back on Ptero," Harmony said.

  "Two dates are better than none," Rhythm agreed.

  Melody was about to say something else, when something weird happened, rapidly becoming unpleasant. Something was taking over her body! She tried to fight it, but the thing was horribly proficient and powerful. She tried to cry out, but the alien spirit stopped her mouth.

  What was this? she wondered, trying to throw the thing off.

  I am the Sea Hag, my pet, and now you are mine.

  Melody quailed. The horrible Sea Hag was supposed to be locked away in the Brain Coral's pool.

  Times change, my precious. Now give me all your memory, or I will hurt you. The awful mind crawled into her mind like a loathsome disease.

  Melody fought to defend her mind, resisting with all her might. Then terrible pain flared, bringing her to her knees.

  "Melody!" Harmony cried. "You fell."

  "What's the matter?" Rhythm asked, concerned.

  Melody's mouth worked. "I'm all right. I just tripped." She wasn't saying it; the Sea Hag was.

  The others helped her up. Melody tried to cry out to them, but her jaw locked. The pain came again, less intense but quite bad enough. I will hurt you.

  There was no question of that. The Sea Hag was notorious for stealing young beautiful bodies and wearing them rapidly out, making them old before their time. Then she threw them away by getting them killed, and went on to the next. It was the most horrible fate imaginable.

  I see you understand, my pet. Now cease opposing me, and I will hurt you less. Open your memory.

  Melody tried to keep her memory closed, but the hideous mind of the Sea Hag forced its way in, like the venom of a zombie cobra, hurting all the way. The filth of it was as bad as the pain of it. Melody had never imagined a mind this ugly. Her very soul was being laid waste.

  You're from Ptero! the Hag thought, amazed. "You're a princess! In fact, you're Princess Melody! And your two sisters are with you here, invisible. And you have a big bird with you too. What a collection!

  She had wrested the secrets out, in much the manner she might have dug out a living kidney with her dirty claws. Melody knew she was lost.

  That's right, my pet. You are forever mine. Now stop trying to hold back, or I'll hurt you more.

  Melody did not stop, and the Sea Hag did hurt her more. Why she resisted she wasn't sure; she just couldn't give in completely to this monstrosity.

  Meanwhile her sisters remained concerned. "Melody, you look faint," Harmony said.

  "You look pained," Rhythm said.

  I will punish you later, the Hag thought. Then she focused on the externals. She made Melody's mouth smile. "I am all right, sisters dear. It is just a passing indisposition."

  This was not the way Melody normally spoke. She hoped her sisters realized that, and caught on that she was not herself.

  So I must use your silly mannerisms, the Sea Hag thought. Thank you for advising me, you sad excuse for a princess.

  Melody realized that she would have to stifle her thoughts, because the Hag was too apt at intercepting them. Her only hope was for her sisters to catch on. But then what? They wouldn't be able to dislodge the parasite from outside. So all she could do was delay her utter capitulation as long as she could manage.

  You're learning, my pet.

  Meanwhile Melody's body was walking with increasing facility, and her sisters' concerns were abating. They came to the bower where the Dastard and Xena had been, but they were gone. Becka's glowing footprints led on. She had evidently caught up with them, and now they were all going somewhere.

  They saw a four-legged black creature. Oh, there's that dumb Mundane brute again, the Hag thought. He's been wandering all over Xanth, looking for a home. What a nuisance.

  Maybe the dog would smell the change in her, and so alert her sisters to her predicament.

  Forget it, my pet. There is no way to tell my presence physically, because only my spirit is here. The stupid canine will never catch on.

  So it seemed, for the dog walked sorrowfully on.

  It was getting late in the day. I'll wait to catch him, the Hag decided. He's a cunning rogue, and has unhappened my Possessions more than once. I need to be fully prepared before I brace him again.

  But Harmony and Rhythm were moving right along towar
d the rendezvous. The Hag had to delay them. So she made Melody's body trip again.

  "There's definitely something wrong," Harmony said.

  "We had better find a place to camp," Rhythm said.

  They turned aside, locating a suitable spot to stay the evening. They turned visible, and Sim glided down to rejoin them, but he remained invisible because there was no easy way to conceal his great size and bright color. Melody's body harvested a hagberry pie and smacked Melody's lips over it. The sisters did not comment. The Hag realized that she had made an error; sweet young princesses did not like hagberry pie; they preferred peach or cherry pie. Then, as the Hag fashioned a nest for the night, she used Melody's mouth to speak silently to Melody.

  "Now I can in time roust out your entire personal history," she spoke. "But what use is it? You're an exchangee from Ptero, so your experience hardly relates. I'm certainly not going to let you return there. So first I'll have to separate you from your siblings. I can do that tonight when they sleep."

  Melody feared that Harmony and Rhythm would never realize. They would think she had gotten up in the night for a call of whatever, and gotten lost.

  "You three princesses do seem somewhat naive," the Hag remarked silently. "I suppose that comes from living on an unreal world so long."

  It probably did. They simply lacked experience of Xanth, where geography was not time, and people's ages were firmly fixed. They had never thought to encounter anyone as smart as the Sea Hag.

  "Enough of your dull thoughts," the Hag decided. "I have to remain awake until they sleep. So I'll educate you by reviewing my early history, which is far more interesting than yours." Then she sent her memory back, way back, perhaps thousands of years--she had long since lost count--to when she had her first incarnation as a girl in the year minus twenty-two hundred. "Back then we counted years backwards," she said. "Because it was before the first official Human Wave of colonization, from which the current dating system derives. So I was a girl from minus twenty-two hundred to minus twenty-one ninety and a woman thereafter. I didn't much like it. For one thing, I didn't know I had magic. I was the daughter of two of the true first human colonists of Xanth, and they, being Mundane in origin, didn't have talents and didn't know about them. Later, of course, some of them would be breeding with assorted other species, as they ran afoul of love springs, giving rise to centaurs, harpies, merfolk, naga, sphinxes, ogres, goblins, elves, fauns, nymphs, fairies, imps, gnomes, werewolves, skeletons, vampires, and other crossbreeds and variants, populating Xanth with the hybrids we know and love today. But those other species tend to be close-mouthed about their origins, not liking to admit that their lineage was ever debased by human stock. I even recently encountered a dragon girl whose sire barely acknowledged her. But that was all in our future. We were just trying to make our living in this odd magic estate."