Cross Roads

  “What about the law Paul was quoting?” challenged Skor.

  “Show it to me,” returned Clarence.

  “Show you what?”

  “Show me the law that Paul was quoting.”

  Skor was flustered in the presence of a man undeterred, and as often happens when someone is caught inside their own assumptions, he changed the argument to something more personal. “You, young man, are contradicting centuries of church history, of theological minds much smarter and wiser than either of ours, and they agree with me. This has now become more than a situation where a woman has created an uproar by drawing unholy attention to herself…”

  “Excuse me?” sputtered Maggie.

  “I think you should hold your tongue, sir!” advised Clarence, but the pastor was beyond that ability.

  “As an authority in the church and one to whom you answer, Clarence, you need to submit yourself and embrace what the Scriptures say.”

  “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t answer to you. I am a Portland police officer. I answer to God, and I answer to the people in my community.”

  “Well! Then you have chosen your place alongside this… this… this jezebel.” Skor instantly regretted his loss of control, as both Maggie and Clarence rose from their chairs. Clarence towered over the man. “It’s best you apologize, sir! That was way outta line!”

  “You’re right,” the pastor acquiesced. “I apologize for my lack of control. I am sorry,” he stated to Maggie, turning his attention back to Clarence, anger visibly rising above his shirt collar, starched and imprisoning. “But you, young man, along with this woman, are no longer welcome at my church. I expect your letter of resignation from the Elder Board as soon as you can get it to me.”

  “You do whatever you need to do, Mr. Skor, but I refuse to send you any such thing, and I would also suggest that you leave this house. Now!” His tone was measured and sure, but there was no doubt of the intent and strength behind it.

  “I love this guy!” exclaimed Tony, and Maggie allowed the slightest of grins to dance on her lips, which she was biting.

  Without any further conversation Pastor Skor quickly vacated the premises, slammed the door of his automobile, and slowly drove down the street under the watchful eye of the police officer.

  “Lord, save us from those who haven’t been caught yet,” he sighed mostly to himself. Then on his radio he called the precinct before turning back to Maggie. “I checked in and they’re sending over a cruiser in a few minutes to pick me up. I’m so sorry, Maggie,” he apologized. “I don’t think Horace is a bad man, he just doesn’t know any better. I had no idea what was coming down, and I’m embarrassed that I was any part of it.”

  “Are you kidding?” hooted Tony. “Apart from last night, that was the most fun I’ve had since I can remember.”

  “Uh… about last night…,” she began, but he didn’t let her finish.

  “Oh, I almost forgot,” he exclaimed, reaching into his coat pocket and holding up a small ziplock. “The real reason I came with Horace was to return this. I think it belongs to you. I don’t often find a woman’s earring embedded in my clothes.”

  Maggie was more elated than embarrassed. “Oh, Clarence, thank you! This is one of a pair that’s all I have from my mom and it means a lot to me. What can I say?”

  And before Tony could scream, “Don’t kiss him!” she turned, embraced her hero, and planted a big one right on his cheek.

  “Crap!” Tony groaned as he started to slide.

  As he emerged from the darkness, he found himself looking directly at Maggie. If kindness and affection were colors with attached emotions, he knew that is what he was feeling, right before the familiar wave of adrenaline picked him up.

  Clarence pulled back and reached for his gun. “Maggie,” he whispered, “is there a man here?”

  “Oops!” uttered Tony, and Clarence spun around to look behind him.

  Maggie knew instantly what had happened.

  “Uh, Clarence?” He turned back, hypervigilant and looking past her into the rest of the house. “Clarence, look at me!” she commanded.

  “What!” he whispered, but seeing no movement finally locked his eyes on Maggie.

  “We need to talk, quickly, because your police buddies are coming and there are things you need to know before they get here. Come and sit down.”

  Clarence chose a chair where his back would be against a wall and sat down slowly, his senses still on alert. Only then did he turn his attention back to Maggie.

  “Maggie, I swear I heard a man say, ‘Crap,’ ” he asserted.

  “Well, you probably did…” Clarence looked right at her, confused. “But the man isn’t in my house, he’s in your head.”

  “What? Maggie, you’re not making any sense right now. What do you mean, he’s in my head?” He began to get up, but Maggie put her hand on his shoulder, looking him right in the eyes.

  “Tony! Say something. Don’t just leave me here hangin’ like this,” she demanded.

  “Uh, hi, Clarence. Nice uniform?”

  Clarence’s eyes swelled and Maggie could see an edge of fright dancing in their corners, probably not something that happened often.

  “Clarence, stay with me,” urged Maggie. “I can explain.” She actually had no idea of how, but she knew she first needed to keep him calm.

  “Maggie,” whispered Clarence, “are you talking about your demon, the one named Tony, from last night? Are you saying he is in my head now?”

  “I am not a demon!” stormed Tony.

  “He’s not a demon,” stated Maggie.

  “Then how come I can hear him talk to me?… Oh,” he said as the truth dawned on him. “Then you really could hear him talking to you last night?” Clarence wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or freaked out.

  “What? You didn’t believe me?” Maggie was enjoying the moment but a little perturbed. “Tony, how come you didn’t tell me that if I kissed someone you would move?”

  “Who were you kissing?” asked Clarence, concerned.

  “Cabby, she kissed Cabby,” answered Tony.

  “I kissed Cabby,” confirmed Maggie.

  “Tony says he didn’t think it was important at the time,” reported Clarence. “He says he was afraid you would go looking for his ex-wife and kiss her… and he’s sorry.” Clarence looked sideways. “I can’t believe I am doing this! Maggie,” he pleaded, “what is going on?”

  “Okay, listen.” She leaned forward. “Tony is an older white—”

  “He says he’s not that old,” interrupted Clarence.

  “Ignore him… Tony, shut up. Anyway, he’s a Portland businessman who doesn’t really believe in God, but he was in an accident and ended up at OHSU where he’s in a coma, and he met God, who sent him on a mission of sorts, which no one seems to understand, and Cabby was playing hide ’n’ seek and he ended up in Cabby and then last night I kissed Cabby and got infected and thought it was a demon when he talked to me and today I kissed you and now he’s yours.”

  “For real?”

  She nodded.

  Clarence sat, shocked. This was so utterly bizarre that it might be true. Occam’s razor, he thought, the principle that other things being equal, a simpler explanation is better than a more complex one. And while this might be simple, was it even possible?

  “I’m not sure I want to share you with a white guy,” was all he could think to say.

  Maggie folded her arms and hunched her shoulders in a look of question. “Really? I tell you this unbelievable story, and all you are concerned about is me and you?” And then it dawned on her what he had said.

  They grinned and nodded.

  “So, what’s his full name?” asked Clarence finally, looking straight at Maggie.

  “Uh, I’m right here and can answer for myself, thank you very much!” began Tony.

  “Tony… Anthony Spencer,” answered Maggie.

  “Tony?” Clarence was asking loudly, as if Tony were in the other room. “Wai
t, are you Anthony Sebastian Spencer?”

  “Uh, yeah,” responded Tony, “and you don’t need to yell… just talk normal. Anyway, how do you know my middle name? No one knows my middle name.”

  “I’m a cop, remember. We pulled your case. It looked a little suspicious, so we searched your condo, the one with blood on the doorjamb. Yours I presume?”

  “Yeah! I think it was… I was really sick and that’s where I fell… don’t remember much. By the way, how did you get into my condo?”

  Clarence smiled. “Sorry, busted down the door. Couldn’t find anyone with the key code, so we entered the old-fashioned way.”

  Just then a black-and-white pulled up and the officer driving honked the horn. Clarence walked to the door and held up a hand, motioning for another five minutes. The policeman in the car grinned and nodded, giving him the thumbs-up sign. “Great!” muttered Clarence to himself. How was he going to explain this?

  Turning back so as not to appear to be talking to himself, he asked, “Tony, we found a lot of surveillance stuff at your place, pretty high-end tech… You know about that?”

  “Yeah,” Tony admitted. “It’s mine. I was getting a little paranoid, but I promise, there weren’t any cameras in the bathroom or bedrooms.” He suddenly felt guilty. Probably just being in the presence of a police officer was enough to cause that.

  “Yeah, we noticed that. We did try and backtrace the signal but got nowhere. It totally shut down on us. Were you recording somewhere?”

  Tony groaned inwardly but didn’t let a sound escape. This meant that all the codes would automatically reset, which was a problem.

  “Office downtown,” he offered. It was a lie, but he was not about to divulge his secret place.

  “Hmmm,” Clarence grunted and turned to Maggie.

  “So, Maggie, what do we do?”

  “I got an idea,” piped up Tony, trying to sound helpful but effectively changing the course of the conversation.

  “Uh, Tony says he has an idea, Maggie. He says…” Clarence grinned before he said it. “He said I should kiss you again.”

  “Really? He said that? How do I know he said that or you’re not just making this up in order to sneak a little sugar?”

  “You don’t,” agreed Clarence, “but I personally consider his plan to be entirely reasonable and with merit. At least we should try it. Best thing that could happen right now is that you get him back.”

  “The best thing?” Maggie tilted her head and raised her eyebrows.

  “Well, other than the kiss itself, I mean.” Clarence chuckled.

  And they kissed again, not a slight peck on the cheek this time, but a for-real-I’ve-been-waiting-a-long-time-for-this sort of kiss. Thankfully, Tony could feel himself sliding again, back into a familiar place, looking into the eyes of the man Maggie loved.

  “Enough!” exclaimed Tony. “Something about this is entirely wrong and it’s giving me the willies!”

  “He’s back, Clarence.” Maggie smiled. “But don’t kiss me again. I have no idea if it would work again, and trust me, you don’t want him trying to help you solve cases.”

  “Well,” Clarence said as he gave her a tender hug, “I gotta say you are the most interesting and strangest woman I have ever known. Is he, you know, Tony, is he here all the time?”

  “Nope. He comes and goes. I have no control it seems. A God-thing as strange as that is, mysterious ways and all. I’ll call you when I can… when he’s gone,” she whispered.

  “I heard that,” said Tony.

  Suddenly Maggie thought of something and grabbed the officer’s arm as he turned to leave. “Hey, Clarence, when you were doing your cop thing, background and all on Sebastian here…”

  “It’s Tony, please, leave Sebastian outta this,” he begged.

  She continued, “… Did you find any next of kin?”

  “Yeah, we tracked down his brother, Jeffrey or Jerald…”

  “Jacob?” Tony was stunned, and Maggie repeated the question. “Jacob?”

  “Yeah, Jacob. He’s living right here in town. Why do you ask?”

  “I need to talk to him. Can you make that happen?”

  Clarence hesitated before answering, “Let me see what I can do. Not like any of this is normal anyway.” He shook his head.

  Maggie caught herself just as she started to kiss Clarence good-bye, giving him another hug instead, and watched him walk to the car without looking back, all business. She couldn’t see how difficult it was for him to suppress the grin that threatened to interfere with his professional demeanor.

  Tony was speechless, awash in memories and emotions that almost foundered him.

  13

  THE WAR WITHIN

  The apostle tells us that “God is love”; and therefore, seeing he is an infinite being, it follows that he is an infinite fountain of love. Seeing he is an all-sufficient being, it follows that he is a full and overflowing, and inexhaustible fountain of love. And in that he is an unchangeable and eternal being, he is an unchangeable and eternal fountain of love.

  —Jonathan Edwards

  Hello?”

  The voice on the phone surprised Maggie, not completely unlike Tony’s, but softer and with a tenderness that bordered on resignation. She hesitated.

  “Hello? Is anyone there?”

  “Yes, so sorry, is this Jacob Spencer?”

  “Yes, ma’am, it is. Who’s asking?”

  “Hi, Mr. Spencer, my name is Maggie, Maggie Saunders, and… I’m a friend of your brother, Tony?”

  “We’re friends now?” Tony piped in. “Not a painless process, being your friend.”

  She raised her hand to quiet him.

  “Didn’t know my brother had any of those. Do you know him well?”

  “Intimately.” It was the wrong word and she knew it as soon as it inadvertently slipped out. “I mean, not intimately, like… you know… not intimately…” She rolled her eyes. “We never dated or anything, just friends. You hang around him for a while and he sort of gets in your head.” Through the receiver, she heard a gracious chuckle.

  “Yeah, that’s the Tony I remember. So, Ms. Saunders, what can I do for you?”

  “Maggie, please… Of course, you’re aware that Tony is in a coma up at OHSU… Have you been up to visit him?”

  Another pause. “No, I only found out yesterday when the police contacted me. I’ve been hesitating. Not sure why, since he wouldn’t even know I was there, but… our relationship is sort of complicated and we sort of had a falling-out. Anyway, I probably will at some point… maybe.”

  “I have a huge favor to ask of you, Mr. Spencer…”

  “Please, call me Jake. You need a favor, from me?”

  “I am an RN and work up at the hospital but in an unrelated department. I would really like to check in on Tony once in a while and make sure he is being looked after, but because I am not family I don’t have any access. I was wondering if…”

  “I apologize in advance for this question,” Jake began, “but I feel that I need to know for sure that you know him. Can’t be too careful these days. Can you tell me what his ex-wife’s name is? His parents’ names?”

  He asked his questions and Tony gave Maggie all the right answers, which seemed to satisfy Jake.

  “Maggie, may I ask you one more question?”

  “Sure, Jake, what is it?”

  “Did Tony ever… I mean, did he…” His voice began to break a little, and Maggie heard a younger brother seeking, almost begging. “Did he ever, you know, talk to you about me? Did he mention me?”

  Tony was silent, and Maggie was momentarily lost for words. “Jake, I wish I could tell you something different, but Tony didn’t talk about family much. He kept that to himself.”

  “Yeah, yeah… I understand.” Jake sounded defeated. “I was just wondering, that’s all.” He cleared his throat. “So, Maggie, as soon as I hang up I will call the hospital and have them put you on the list, and thank you! I don’t know what you mean t
o him, but I am grateful that there’s someone in his life that cares about him… so thank you!”

  “You’re welcome, Jake.” A thought occurred to her. “Jake, where do you live? Maybe…” But the phone went dead.

  “Tony?” Maggie turned her attention inward, a demand hidden in her question.

  “Don’t want to talk about it,” came the curt reply.

  “Well, when you are ready, I’ll be right here,” she added.

  Tony did not respond, and she felt an emptiness. “Tony?” Still nothing. She knew he had gone to wherever it was that he went. “Dear God,” she prayed, her voice hushed, “I don’t have any idea what you are up to, but I pray you heal these boys’ broken hearts.”

  Tony stood alone and watched two figures slowly and carefully approach via the incline. For all the time he had just spent with Maggie, Clarence, and Horace Skor, it appeared that none had elapsed here. In-between time? he wondered as he struggled to reorient himself. Jack was indeed gone, and the pair of large figures was approaching and within a hundred yards.

  Tony was now in no mood to meet anyone, especially neighbors. He was caught in the immediate turmoil and upheaval of his inner world. Listening to Maggie’s conversation with Jake had dismantled him, filling him with more self-loathing and tapping into a rush of uncomfortable memories he’d concealed inside well-constructed internal compartments. He didn’t understand why, but he felt his guard collapsing. He could no longer stuff his feelings into private vaults and bury them. He stood and waited, not disposed to extend hospitality.

  As they approached, Tony felt deep and increasing isolation and loneliness, as if their impending presence was pushing him into a corner. Strangely, the duo, who appeared huge at a distance, seemed to diminish in stature as they advanced. They stopped, jostling with each other for position, and stared at him from less than ten feet away, an odor of decay permeating the space between. Neither was more than four feet tall.

  As odd as they looked, their demeanor was vaguely familiar. The taller and slimmer of the two was dressed in a three-piece Italian silk suit that had lost much of its sheen, attire barely appropriate for a business power lunch. The other hardly fit inside an outfit sewn together in haphazard chaos from a smattering of materials in out-of-sorts colors. Both were completely out of place in these barren surroundings. If not for a lingering sense of anxiety and tension that accompanied them, the juxtaposition would have been almost laughable.