The Shepherd
We caught our breath and then she stepped out of the car and came to me with a smile. “We’re not finished. Remember that later. I’m gonna hold you to it.” She reached down to run a lacquered fingernail over my crotch. One little brush and she had reignited that fire all over again.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to stop next time.” I smiled, feeling the heat of my embarrassment.
“Good, you better not.” She grabbed my hand and we walked to the door of the restaurant.
I escaped to the bathroom, cleaned up, and rushed back out to Anita. We were led to a table for two by the window facing the lake. Michaels also had a large outdoor veranda, where people could sit and eat and look down on the lake. Our view was of the veranda and the lake. The table had crystal rose petal centerpiece with a candle that the hostess lit for us as we took our seats. With the lights down low, candle flickering, and a wide open view of the waterfront, this had to be the most special night ever.
Definitely the most romantic.
Looking at the menus, Anita whispered, “Are you sure you can afford this place?”
I squeezed her hand. “Yeah, my Dad gave me some money. Is that weird or what?” I conveniently forgot to mention how much money Nadia had been giving me on a regular basis.
Anita chuckled. “Somebody call the Guinness book, that’s gotta be a record!”
“I know.”
“If you need it, my Dad gave me some money too.”
“How about you take care of our pictures at the dance?”
“Sure, no problem.” She was always conscientious of the fact I was dirt poor. Anita took great pains to avoid spending my money. Her father worked as management at a semiconductor plant making six figures a year. She always had money for things she needed, and most of what she wanted.
We ordered the prime rib special and enjoyed the view sipping on cokes. My high from the parking lot was still a warm buzz, tingling all over my body. I had an idea, but I didn’t want to tell her yet. I wanted to surprise Anita after the dance by renting a hotel room to finish what we started.
Tonight was as good a night as any.
The food was awesome, Michael’s had a good chef. I can’t recall ever having prime rib before. Just not something we ate at home, and Dad couldn’t cook for shit. It was so good I actually left a tip. Guess there’s a first time for everything.
On our way out the door two couples entered in tuxedos and dresses. I stood face to face with Rachelle in her gorgeous shimmery blue dress. Precisely as I had seen her in my vision. She was followed by Tommy, Justin and April Lindsey, a slight blonde girl on the cheerleading team with Rachelle. I figured Rachelle had roped her friend into the double date.
Tommy reached his arm around Rachelle, squeezing her close, with that insolent-gloating look on his face. Like he had something I couldn’t have. Anita slid up at my side, gliding under my arm.
I had everything I wanted right there. I felt no connection to Rachelle, not even the slightest. The look on her face spoke volumes. This Rachelle was not the girl I dated in Junior high. I had been chasing the past, pining over someone that didn’t exist anymore.
They say beauty is only skin deep. It wasn’t even that deep with Rachelle. In my eyes, her ugliness had started to show through to the surface. I could smell the perfume on her. The same scent that had bombed my locker.
What was I thinking? How could I have missed Anita, this wonderful girl who was right there in front of me all along?
Tommy started in with his smartass mouth, “Look it’s Mikey! Say ‘Hi’ to Mikey.” Tommy jerked Rachelle’s arm up and down like a marionette, forcing her to wave as we walked past. She looked embarrassed, with that I’m-putting-up-with-something-horrible snarl to her upper lip. The alcohol on Tommy’s breath washed over me, strong and disgusting. He smelled like my father.
He reminded me of one of those evil elves in a dark fantasy comic book as he grinned, nasty. Idiot Justin was laughing right along with him.
I ushered Anita out the door. Tommy kept up his act, forcing Rachelle to turn and watch us go. Rachelle waved again, Tommy’s hand shaking her arm in a limp flop as he yelled in a high pitched girly voice. “Bye bye Mikey!” Tommy was an obnoxious drunk.
We made a quick escape, laughing at stupid Tommy. It’s hard to stay angry with people you just don’t care about anymore. But they were laughable. I was enjoying this night too much to let anything bring me down.
The homecoming dance was held in the high school gym. They had decorated in silver crescent moons and starscape on a midnight blue background. We hit the photo line first. The photo area had a set of silver pillars and the same background. Anita chose a three photo fold-out of glossy eight by tens, one picture of us individually and another one together. She ordered two identical sets so we could each have one.
After taking pictures we roamed around looking for familiar faces. It was something of a lost cause, skaters aren’t into dances.
We eventually found Cleo. She looked shocking as ever, her slim, boyish body crammed into a form-fitting hot-pink dress. She still had her foot-long dreadlocks, but they were dyed a matching color of obnoxious pink. She attracted attention nonstop, which was probably what she hoped for.
She brought a skate punk named Taylor to the dance. Two years older, having just turned eighteen, technically Taylor was still in high school, but he spent half his days at the skatepark. He wasn’t even from our school. He’d been going to the alternative high school by the old Larson Air Force Base – The Base. They kicked him out of MLHS last year. Taylor’s shaggy dirt-blond hair spiked out in all directions, but at least he had the standard-issue black and white tuxedo. The two of them were obviously in rebel mode, their eyes a bright veiny red from all the weed they’d smoked. Rebels without a clue.
I sat next to Anita, surveying the dance floor, contemplating taking her out there. I couldn’t help but think about that vision. Everything was exactly as I’d seen it, the lights, the music, the whole atmosphere. Anita noticed my attention was elsewhere and pulled me down to talk directly in my ear, yelling over the loud music, “I’m not much of a dancer. Don’t get your hopes up.”
“Me neither, but I’m willing to play the fool if you’re up for it.” I knew I would dance. Why fight it?
“Maybe a little later.” She tickled my ear with her lips as she spoke. She shrugged as if to say whatever, but she was smiling. It didn’t matter to her either way. I guess she was happy just to be there.
Taylor sipped from a thin metallic flask in his jacket. The liquor smelled strong. He offered some to me, but I’d seen my father wash half his life away in drink, and had no desire to go there. Taylor offered it to Cleo who downed a gulp and handed it off to Anita. She looked at me with a mischievous twinkle in her eye and tossed it back, bravely swallowing down a deep swig.
Grimacing, she croaked, “Oh god! What is that?” Anita wheezed, barely able to speak after having her throat seared.
“It’s Baaacarrrdi 151!” Taylor rolled it off his tongue like the name of a fine French wine.
We hung out for a while at the table. Mostly to finish off Taylor’s liquid stash. The girls gossiped about who came with who while I chatted with Taylor about skate tricks and plans for the next video shoot. Between the three of them, they drained the flask in a half hour. I didn’t care much for sitting around watching people get sloshed. This was our night, homecoming, and I wanted to enjoy it with Anita.
I grabbed her, yelling in her ear, “Come on, it’s a slow song, let’s dance!” I turned to Cleo and Taylor, “Come on guys, let’s dance!”
Taylor had that deer-in-the-headlights look. “Dude, I do not dance!” Cleo was disappointed. She kicked him in the shin while scowling down at him as he sat there like a bump on a log.
I didn’t wait for Anita’s answer. I pulled her out onto the dance floor. We hugged close and swayed to a slow R&B love song. Anita seemed fine with shuffling around to the easy pace and she laid her head on my shoulder
to rub her lips on my neck, kissing me lightly. Eyes slightly glossy, she had a good buzz going. I had never seen Anita drink, so it probably hit her hard and fast.
My Dad could drink non-stop.
As we spun around the floor my eyes landed on Tommy and gang leaving the photo area, surrounded by wrestlers and their dates. Tommy hadn’t spotted me yet, and I was glad for it. I definitely didn’t want to deal with any confrontations on this night. For a brief second Rachelle looked up, right at me, locking gazes. She wasn’t very happy with her drunken, obnoxious date. Then Tommy said something to her and walked out to the exit leaving her standing alone.
The music shifted to faster paced hip hop, the dancers adjusted to the beat, moving faster and more erratic, gyrating, bouncing, and grinding on each other. Anita wasn’t up for it. She wanted the slow romantic flow of things, so we returned to Cleo and Taylor at the table. Cleo stood thumping her foot, swaying to the beat, bored of Taylor’s deadbeat presence. Anita sat down, but I had the dancing bug, and bumped hips with Cleo, knocking her back a step.
Anita cackled like that was the funniest thing ever. She was drunk. “Why don’t you go dance with her?” She yelled over the music and pointed out to the dance floor.
Cleo seized on the idea. “Yeah, let’s go!” She grabbed my hand and took off.
I asked, “You sure?” as Cleo dragged me out onto the dance floor. Anita waved me off, laughing and smiling.
Cleo was toasted, dancing her scrawny little ass off. She straddled my leg, grinding in time to the fast-paced rhythm. She was so trashed, she’d hit that threshold of pure abandon, descending into hedonism. I had to pull her hands off my ass and crotch more than once. As we danced I couldn’t help but notice that Rachelle was still standing there in the same place, alone and unhappy. It was basically what I had seen in my vision. And then I understood.
I decided to make it my personal mission to see this vision come true. It was time Rachelle knew what it felt like to stand on the sidelines of life and watch everyone else getting what they want. It was time she understood how it felt when your life sucks donkey schlongs.
As the music slowed down, I pulled Cleo off the dance floor. I didn’t want to find out where her hands would end up in the middle of a slow dance. I swapped dance partners for Anita, depositing a very drunken Cleo in Taylor’s lap. Anita seemed to be of the same mind, and acting just like Cleo. Dancing loose and sultry, the alcohol had stripped away her inhibitions. When we kissed to the slow dance it was hot, steamy, and her hands were filled with my ass.
I kept wondering when some school official was gonna come along and stop her from molesting me in public. But I loved every minute of it. This was definitely my night for being groped. Between Cleo and Anita, I was so ramped up I wanted to bag the dance and drag Anita to a hotel room right now.
Everything was so perfect, I decided to be patient, let things take their course. The fact that Rachelle stood alone on the sidelines, only added to my fun. What poetic justice, that she would experience how it feels to be shunned, left out, like I had felt for the last two years.
We sat back down for a rest, Anita glued to me. Taylor still had Cleo on his lap, making out as if they were the only two people in the place.
I caught a glimpse of Rachelle walking out the exit, only to return a few minutes later, still angry. Homecoming was pure couples, no singles to mingle with singles. Rachelle was dead in the water without her date. She didn’t even have the company of Justin and April who were out on the dance floor doing their own thing.
The announcement blared over the music, this was the last song. The DJ mixed in a fast hip hop jam by Pit Bull, and I snagged both Cleo and Anita, pulling them out onto the dance floor together. Anita was game for it, she attached to my front side while Cleo squeezed up on my back. Anita got down and dirty, rubbing her curvy rump all up on me, and Cleo spooned from behind, her hands roving freely.
This is what they call going out with a bang.
I chose this pivotal moment to take another glance in Rachelle’s direction. Karma came full circle as our eyes met in the exact sequence that had taken place in my vision. The pink flash of Cleo’s dress floated in my peripherals while her hands took full advantage, and Anita was bent over shoving her ass up on me, a booty shake. The déjà vu washed over me as Rachelle’s face morphed into that unmistakable mask of hatred. We stared long and hard as I swayed in the middle of my sex sandwich, two girls having their way with me.
I grinned with delight.
I read Rachelle’s lips as she cursed, “Fuck!” It was picture perfect.
The music died down, the song finished and the lights came up. Homecoming was over. We met up with Taylor and entered into the crush of students bottlenecked at the exit.
Taylor leaned into me, talking low in my ear, “Are you gonna hit that tonight?” I looked at him puzzled.
He jerked his head towards Anita who was wrapped securely around my arm. I finally caught on and winked. Taylor winked back. “Put it in her butt, dude, keeps em’ in line!”
Cleo overheard and elbowed him in the ribs. She pulled his ear down to her level with a scathing retort, “Put it where?”
I snickered watching Taylor wince in pain. “Yeah sure, I can see you got it all lined up.” He wisely kept his mouth shut.
Outside the gym, heading for the parking lot, we ran straight into Rachelle. She walked right up to us, alone. The malicious scowl she’d had only moments before was gone. Now she looked kinda pathetic. Still a knockout as always, but pathetic.
“Tommy left me here. I don’t have a ride home. Can I catch a ride with you guys?” She was appropriately contrite, needy, dejected. I looked to Anita, then back at Rachelle, then back to Anita.
This was one of those trick question moments. I put it on Anita. “It’s up to you.”
Anita put her hands up in a W. “Whatever!” Rachelle rubbed up and down her bare arms covered in goose bumps, still looking dejected, but even more so as she shivered.
“I left my coat in Tommy’s car. It’s freezing out here.” The October night was pretty chilly, and Rachelle’s form-fitting shimmery blue dress looked paper thin.
Anita finally caved in. “Fine! Let’s go!”
“Thank you so much!” Rachelle was appropriately appreciative while rubbing her arms quickly to warm up. Seemed almost genuine, but still had that taint of being scripted, like watching a daytime soap opera. I had begun to see Rachelle for who she really was, and I didn’t like this person at all.
On the ride to her house, as she shivered in the back seat, Rachelle leaned forward to speak over my shoulder, “Remember that day we walked across the lake and fell through the ice? Oh gaaaad it was so cold! I’ve never been so cold in all my life!”
She had become very friendly, my old pal reminiscing of days gone by. But I hadn’t been her pal for over two years. I didn’t quite understand why Rachelle was flirting with me, leaning over into the middle of us as she spoke, but Anita went into instant rage. She glared daggers of malice at Rachelle, undisguised hatred. Anita smoldered, sparked, and inevitably grew to a fully ignited fury. By the time I dropped Rachelle off, with her thanking us over and over, Anita had become a raging bull ready to charge, but nowhere to go in the confined space of my car.
Girlfriend + alcohol + exgirlfriend = flaming pissed off girlfriend. It was a simple equation I had to learn the hard way. Though I faced an insanely furious drunken Anita, I wished I was sitting next to the affectionate touchy-feely Anita who’d been all over me on the dance floor.
“What a bitch! OOOOHH I hate that bitch! And You! Can I catch a ride with you guys?” Anita crooned in imitation of Rachelle and then punched my dashboard leaving a nice Anita-fist sized dent in the plastic.
“What did you want me to do? Leave her there? I let you decide, you’re the one who agreed to give her a ride home!” I knew it was pointless. There is no defense in an exgirlfriend situation like this.
“Oh right! So I can be the heartle
ss bitch who’s so jealous she left poor widdle Rachelle to freeze to death in the parking lot?” As she pushed me, causing the car to swerve with my erratic steering, I began to understand this was a no-win situation. Anita couldn’t be reasoned with when she got this angry (and drunk).
I steadied the vehicle and spoke calmly, hoping to impart some peace to the situation. “Look, I don’t want to talk about Rachelle anymore. I want to talk about us. I hoped we could go someplace and spend a little more time together, alone. I was thinking we should get a hotel room. Wouldn’t that be cool, just you and me … no distractions?”
“I don’t give a shit what you’re thinking! You weren’t thinking! I hate her sooo much! Can’t you see the games she plays? Can’t you see how she manipulates you? Are you that blind?” She was virtually screaming by then.
“I guess so.” I snapped back at her, my cool had fled. The night was officially ruined. Anita had no other focus but to rage on and on about Rachelle. It had been going so well, so perfect, and then it all turned to shit in an instant.
“So, what do you want to do now?” I already knew the answer, but I foolishly hoped that maybe, somehow, I could salvage the situation.
Anita crushed my hopes into a million little pieces and kicked them to the curb along with me. “Take me HOME! NOW!” She yelled in my face, blasting me with the stench of 151 rum.
She wouldn’t even kiss me goodbye as she slammed my car door, stomping her way down the driveway to her house. It must have been the liquor, she wasn’t in her right mind. All the more reason not to drink.
At home, Nadia was there, sitting in my room, waiting. I was so glad I had someone I could count on. She was wide awake and there for me. She rubbed my shoulders, twirled her fingers through my hair, and wrapped her arms and legs around me like there was no other person on the planet earth that mattered more than I did. She listened to my tale of the perfect evening gone to hell and cuddled up close to help ease the hurt. She was fast becoming my new best friend, the only one I could rely on without fail.
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