Les trois mousquetaires. English
25 PORTHOS
Instead of returning directly home, d'Artagnan alighted at the door ofM. de Treville, and ran quickly up the stairs. This time he had decidedto relate all that had passed. M. de Treville would doubtless give himgood advice as to the whole affair. Besides, as M. de Treville saw thequeen almost daily, he might be able to draw from her Majesty someintelligence of the poor young woman, whom they were doubtless makingpay very dearly for her devotedness to her mistress.
M de Treville listened to the young man's account with a seriousnesswhich proved that he saw something else in this adventure besides a loveaffair. When d'Artagnan had finished, he said, "Hum! All this savors ofhis Eminence, a league off."
"But what is to be done?" said d'Artagnan.
"Nothing, absolutely nothing, at present, but quitting Paris, as I toldyou, as soon as possible. I will see the queen; I will relate to her thedetails of the disappearance of this poor woman, of which she is nodoubt ignorant. These details will guide her on her part, and on yourreturn, I shall perhaps have some good news to tell you. Rely on me."
D'Artagnan knew that, although a Gascon, M. de Treville was not in thehabit of making promises, and that when by chance he did promise, hemore than kept his word. He bowed to him, then, full of gratitude forthe past and for the future; and the worthy captain, who on his sidefelt a lively interest in this young man, so brave and so resolute,pressed his hand kindly, wishing him a pleasant journey.
Determined to put the advice of M. de Treville in practice instantly,d'Artagnan directed his course toward the Rue des Fossoyeurs, in orderto superintend the packing of his valise. On approaching the house, heperceived M. Bonacieux in morning costume, standing at his threshold.All that the prudent Planchet had said to him the preceding eveningabout the sinister character of the old man recurred to the mind ofd'Artagnan, who looked at him with more attention than he had donebefore. In fact, in addition to that yellow, sickly paleness whichindicates the insinuation of the bile in the blood, and which might,besides, be accidental, d'Artagnan remarked something perfidiouslysignificant in the play of the wrinkled features of his countenance. Arogue does not laugh in the same way that an honest man does; ahypocrite does not shed the tears of a man of good faith. All falsehoodis a mask; and however well made the mask may be, with a littleattention we may always succeed in distinguishing it from the true face.
It appeared, then, to d'Artagnan that M. Bonacieux wore a mask, andlikewise that that mask was most disagreeable to look upon. Inconsequence of this feeling of repugnance, he was about to pass withoutspeaking to him, but, as he had done the day before, M. Bonacieuxaccosted him.
"Well, young man," said he, "we appear to pass rather gay nights! Seveno'clock in the morning! PESTE! You seem to reverse ordinary customs, andcome home at the hour when other people are going out."
"No one can reproach you for anything of the kind, Monsieur Bonacieux,"said the young man; "you are a model for regular people. It is true thatwhen a man possesses a young and pretty wife, he has no need to seekhappiness elsewhere. Happiness comes to meet him, does it not, MonsieurBonacieux?"
Bonacieux became as pale as death, and grinned a ghastly smile.
"Ah, ah!" said Bonacieux, "you are a jocular companion! But where thedevil were you gladding last night, my young master? It does not appearto be very clean in the crossroads."
D'Artagnan glanced down at his boots, all covered with mud; but thatsame glance fell upon the shoes and stockings of the mercer, and itmight have been said they had been dipped in the same mud heap. Bothwere stained with splashes of mud of the same appearance.
Then a sudden idea crossed the mind of d'Artagnan. That little stoutman, short and elderly, that sort of lackey, dressed in dark clothes,treated without ceremony by the men wearing swords who composed theescort, was Bonacieux himself. The husband had presided at the abductionof his wife.
A terrible inclination seized d'Artagnan to grasp the mercer by thethroat and strangle him; but, as we have said, he was a very prudentyouth, and he restrained himself. However, the revolution which appearedupon his countenance was so visible that Bonacieux was terrified at it,and he endeavored to draw back a step or two; but as he was standingbefore the half of the door which was shut, the obstacle compelled himto keep his place.
"Ah, but you are joking, my worthy man!" said d'Artagnan. "It appears tome that if my boots need a sponge, your stockings and shoes stand inequal need of a brush. May you not have been philandering a little also,Monsieur Bonacieux? Oh, the devil! That's unpardonable in a man of yourage, and who besides, has such a pretty wife as yours."
"Oh, Lord! no," said Bonacieux, "but yesterday I went to St. Mande tomake some inquiries after a servant, as I cannot possibly do withoutone; and the roads were so bad that I brought back all this mud, which Ihave not yet had time to remove."
The place named by Bonacieux as that which had been the object of hisjourney was a fresh proof in support of the suspicions d'Artagnan hadconceived. Bonacieux had named Mande because Mande was in an exactlyopposite direction from St. Cloud. This probability afforded him hisfirst consolation. If Bonacieux knew where his wife was, one might, byextreme means, force the mercer to open his teeth and let his secretescape. The question, then, was how to change this probability into acertainty.
"Pardon, my dear Monsieur Bonacieux, if I don't stand upon ceremony,"said d'Artagnan, "but nothing makes one so thirsty as want of sleep. Iam parched with thirst. Allow me to take a glass of water in yourapartment; you know that is never refused among neighbors."
Without waiting for the permission of his host, d'Artagnan went quicklyinto the house, and cast a rapid glance at the bed. It had not beenused. Bonacieux had not been abed. He had only been back an hour or two;he had accompanied his wife to the place of her confinement, or else atleast to the first relay.
"Thanks, Monsieur Bonacieux," said d'Artagnan, emptying his glass, "thatis all I wanted of you. I will now go up into my apartment. I will makePlanchet brush my boots; and when he has done, I will, if you like, sendhim to you to brush your shoes."
He left the mercer quite astonished at his singular farewell, and askinghimself if he had not been a little inconsiderate.
At the top of the stairs he found Planchet in a great fright.
"Ah, monsieur!" cried Planchet, as soon as he perceived his master,"here is more trouble. I thought you would never come in."
"What's the matter now, Planchet?" demanded d'Artagnan.
"Oh! I give you a hundred, I give you a thousand times to guess,monsieur, the visit I received in your absence."
"When?"
"About half an hour ago, while you were at Monsieur de Treville's."
"Who has been here? Come, speak."
"Monsieur de Cavois."
"Monsieur de Cavois?"
"In person."
"The captain of the cardinal's Guards?"
"Himself."
"Did he come to arrest me?"
"I have no doubt that he did, monsieur, for all his wheedling manner."
"Was he so sweet, then?"
"Indeed, he was all honey, monsieur."
"Indeed!"
"He came, he said, on the part of his Eminence, who wished you well, andto beg you to follow him to the Palais-Royal*."
_*It was called the Palais-Cardinal before Richelieu gave it to the King._
"What did you answer him?"
"That the thing was impossible, seeing that you were not at home, as hecould see."
"Well, what did he say then?"
"That you must not fail to call upon him in the course of the day; andthen he added in a low voice, 'Tell your master that his Eminence isvery well disposed toward him, and that his fortune perhaps depends uponthis interview.'"
"The snare is rather MALADROIT for the cardinal," replied the young man,smiling.
"Oh, I saw the snare, and I answered you would be quite in despair onyour return.
"'Where has he gone?' asked Monsieur de Cavois.
/> "'To Troyes, in Champagne,' I answered.
"'And when did he set out?'
"'Yesterday evening.'"
"Planchet, my friend," interrupted d'Artagnan, "you are really aprecious fellow."
"You will understand, monsieur, I thought there would be still time, ifyou wish, to see Monsieur de Cavois to contradict me by saying you werenot yet gone. The falsehood would then lie at my door, and as I am not agentleman, I may be allowed to lie."
"Be of good heart, Planchet, you shall preserve your reputation as averacious man. In a quarter of an hour we set off."
"That's the advice I was about to give Monsieur; and where are we going,may I ask, without being too curious?"
"PARDIEU! In the opposite direction to that which you said I was gone.Besides, are you not as anxious to learn news of Grimaud, Mousqueton,and Bazin as I am to know what has become of Athos, Porthos, andAramis?"
"Yes, monsieur," said Planchet, "and I will go as soon as you please.Indeed, I think provincial air will suit us much better just now thanthe air of Paris. So then--"
"So then, pack up our luggage, Planchet, and let us be off. On my part,I will go out with my hands in my pockets, that nothing may besuspected. You may join me at the Hotel des Gardes. By the way,Planchet, I think you are right with respect to our host, and that he isdecidedly a frightfully low wretch."
"Ah, monsieur, you may take my word when I tell you anything. I am aphysiognomist, I assure you."
D'Artagnan went out first, as had been agreed upon. Then, in order thathe might have nothing to reproach himself with, he directed his steps,for the last time, toward the residences of his three friends. No newshad been received of them; only a letter, all perfumed and of an elegantwriting in small characters, had come for Aramis. D'Artagnan took chargeof it. Ten minutes afterward Planchet joined him at the stables of theHotel des Gardes. D'Artagnan, in order that there might be no time lost,had saddled his horse himself.
"That's well," said he to Planchet, when the latter added theportmanteau to the equipment. "Now saddle the other three horses."
"Do you think, then, monsieur, that we shall travel faster with twohorses apiece?" said Planchet, with his shrewd air.
"No, Monsieur Jester," replied d'Artagnan; "but with our four horses wemay bring back our three friends, if we should have the good fortune tofind them living."
"Which is a great chance," replied Planchet, "but we must not despair ofthe mercy of God."
"Amen!" said d'Artagnan, getting into his saddle.
As they went from the Hotel des Gardes, they separated, leaving thestreet at opposite ends, one having to quit Paris by the Barriere de laVillette and the other by the Barriere Montmartre, to meet again beyondSt. Denis--a strategic maneuver which, having been executed with equalpunctuality, was crowned with the most fortunate results. D'Artagnan andPlanchet entered Pierrefitte together.
Planchet was more courageous, it must be admitted, by day than by night.His natural prudence, however, never forsook him for a single instant.He had forgotten not one of the incidents of the first journey, and helooked upon everybody he met on the road as an enemy. It followed thathis hat was forever in his hand, which procured him some severereprimands from d'Artagnan, who feared that his excess of politenesswould lead people to think he was the lackey of a man of no consequence.
Nevertheless, whether the passengers were really touched by the urbanityof Planchet or whether this time nobody was posted on the young man'sroad, our two travelers arrived at Chantilly without any accident, andalighted at the tavern of Great St. Martin, the same at which they hadstopped on their first journey.
The host, on seeing a young man followed by a lackey with two extrahorses, advanced respectfully to the door. Now, as they had alreadytraveled eleven leagues, d'Artagnan thought it time to stop, whetherPorthos were or were not in the inn. Perhaps it would not be prudent toask at once what had become of the Musketeer. The result of thesereflections was that d'Artagnan, without asking information of any kind,alighted, commended the horses to the care of his lackey, entered asmall room destined to receive those who wished to be alone, and desiredthe host to bring him a bottle of his best wine and as good a breakfastas possible--a desire which further corroborated the high opinion theinnkeeper had formed of the traveler at first sight.
D'Artagnan was therefore served with miraculous celerity. The regimentof the Guards was recruited among the first gentlemen of the kingdom;and d'Artagnan, followed by a lackey, and traveling with fourmagnificent horses, despite the simplicity of his uniform, could notfail to make a sensation. The host desired himself to serve him; whichd'Artagnan perceiving, ordered two glasses to be brought, and commencedthe following conversation.
"My faith, my good host," said d'Artagnan, filling the two glasses, "Iasked for a bottle of your best wine, and if you have deceived me, youwill be punished in what you have sinned; for seeing that I hatedrinking by myself, you shall drink with me. Take your glass, then, andlet us drink. But what shall we drink to, so as to avoid wounding anysusceptibility? Let us drink to the prosperity of your establishment."
"Your Lordship does me much honor," said the host, "and I thank yousincerely for your kind wish."
"But don't mistake," said d'Artagnan, "there is more selfishness in mytoast than perhaps you may think--for it is only in prosperousestablishments that one is well received. In hotels that do notflourish, everything is in confusion, and the traveler is a victim tothe embarrassments of his host. Now, I travel a great deal, particularlyon this road, and I wish to see all innkeepers making a fortune."
"It seems to me," said the host, "that this is not the first time I havehad the honor of seeing Monsieur."
"Bah, I have passed perhaps ten times through Chantilly, and out of theten times I have stopped three or four times at your house at least. WhyI was here only ten or twelve days ago. I was conducting some friends,Musketeers, one of whom, by the by, had a dispute with a stranger--a manwho sought a quarrel with him, for I don't know what."
"Exactly so," said the host; "I remember it perfectly. It is notMonsieur Porthos that your Lordship means?"
"Yes, that is my companion's name. My God, my dear host, tell me ifanything has happened to him?"
"Your Lordship must have observed that he could not continue hisjourney."
"Why, to be sure, he promised to rejoin us, and we have seen nothing ofhim."
"He has done us the honor to remain here."
"What, he had done you the honor to remain here?"
"Yes, monsieur, in this house; and we are even a little uneasy--"
"On what account?"
"Of certain expenses he has contracted."
"Well, but whatever expenses he may have incurred, I am sure he is in acondition to pay them."
"Ah, monsieur, you infuse genuine balm into my blood. We have madeconsiderable advances; and this very morning the surgeon declared thatif Monsieur Porthos did not pay him, he should look to me, as it was Iwho had sent for him."
"Porthos is wounded, then?"
"I cannot tell you, monsieur."
"What! You cannot tell me? Surely you ought to be able to tell me betterthan any other person."
"Yes; but in our situation we must not say all we know--particularly aswe have been warned that our ears should answer for our tongues."
"Well, can I see Porthos?"
"Certainly, monsieur. Take the stairs on your right; go up the firstflight and knock at Number One. Only warn him that it is you."
"Why should I do that?"
"Because, monsieur, some mischief might happen to you."
"Of what kind, in the name of wonder?"
"Monsieur Porthos may imagine you belong to the house, and in a fit ofpassion might run his sword through you or blow out your brains."
"What have you done to him, then?"
"We have asked him for money."
"The devil! Ah, I can understand that. It is a demand that Porthos takesvery ill when he is not in funds; but I know he must
be so at present."
"We thought so, too, monsieur. As our house is carried on veryregularly, and we make out our bills every week, at the end of eightdays we presented our account; but it appeared we had chosen an unluckymoment, for at the first word on the subject, he sent us to all thedevils. It is true he had been playing the day before."
"Playing the day before! And with whom?"
"Lord, who can say, monsieur? With some gentleman who was traveling thisway, to whom he proposed a game of LANSQUENET."
"That's it, then, and the foolish fellow lost all he had?"
"Even to his horse, monsieur; for when the gentleman was about to setout, we perceived that his lackey was saddling Monsieur Porthos's horse,as well as his master's. When we observed this to him, he told us all totrouble ourselves about our own business, as this horse belonged to him.We also informed Monsieur Porthos of what was going on; but he told uswe were scoundrels to doubt a gentleman's word, and that as he had saidthe horse was his, it must be so."
"That's Porthos all over," murmured d'Artagnan.
"Then," continued the host, "I replied that as from the moment we seemednot likely to come to a good understanding with respect to payment, Ihoped that he would have at least the kindness to grant the favor of hiscustom to my brother host of the Golden Eagle; but Monsieur Porthosreplied that, my house being the best, he should remain where he was.This reply was too flattering to allow me to insist on his departure. Iconfined myself then to begging him to give up his chamber, which is thehandsomest in the hotel, and to be satisfied with a pretty little roomon the third floor; but to this Monsieur Porthos replied that as heevery moment expected his mistress, who was one of the greatest ladiesin the court, I might easily comprehend that the chamber he did me thehonor to occupy in my house was itself very mean for the visit of such apersonage. Nevertheless, while acknowledging the truth of what he said,I thought proper to insist; but without even giving himself the troubleto enter into any discussion with me, he took one of his pistols, laidit on his table, day and night, and said that at the first word thatshould be spoken to him about removing, either within the house or outof it, he would blow out the brains of the person who should be soimprudent as to meddle with a matter which only concerned himself. Sincethat time, monsieur, nobody entered his chamber but his servant."
"What! Mousqueton is here, then?"
"Oh, yes, monsieur. Five days after your departure, he came back, and ina very bad condition, too. It appears that he had met withdisagreeableness, likewise, on his journey. Unfortunately, he is morenimble than his master; so that for the sake of his master, he puts usall under his feet, and as he thinks we might refuse what he asked for,he takes all he wants without asking at all."
"The fact is," said d'Artagnan, "I have always observed a great degreeof intelligence and devotedness in Mousqueton."
"That is possible, monsieur; but suppose I should happen to be broughtin contact, even four times a year, with such intelligence anddevotedness--why, I should be a ruined man!"
"No, for Porthos will pay you."
"Hum!" said the host, in a doubtful tone.
"The favorite of a great lady will not be allowed to be inconveniencedfor such a paltry sum as he owes you."
"If I durst say what I believe on that head--"
"What you believe?"
"I ought rather to say, what I know."
"What you know?"
"And even what I am sure of."
"And of what are you so sure?"
"I would say that I know this great lady."
"You?"
"Yes; I."
"And how do you know her?"
"Oh, monsieur, if I could believe I might trust in your discretion."
"Speak! By the word of a gentleman, you shall have no cause to repent ofyour confidence."
"Well, monsieur, you understand that uneasiness makes us do manythings."
"What have you done?"
"Oh, nothing which was not right in the character of a creditor."
"Well?"
"Monsieur Porthos gave us a note for his duchess, ordering us to put itin the post. This was before his servant came. As he could not leave hischamber, it was necessary to charge us with this commission."
"And then?"
"Instead of putting the letter in the post, which is never safe, I tookadvantage of the journey of one of my lads to Paris, and ordered him toconvey the letter to this duchess himself. This was fulfilling theintentions of Monsieur Porthos, who had desired us to be so careful ofthis letter, was it not?"
"Nearly so."
"Well, monsieur, do you know who this great lady is?"
"No; I have heard Porthos speak of her, that's all."
"Do you know who this pretended duchess is?
"I repeat to you, I don't know her."
"Why, she is the old wife of a procurator* of the Chatelet, monsieur,named Madame Coquenard, who, although she is at least fifty, still givesherself jealous airs. It struck me as very odd that a princess shouldlive in the Rue aux Ours."
_*Attorney_
"But how do you know all this?"
"Because she flew into a great passion on receiving the letter, sayingthat Monsieur Porthos was a weathercock, and that she was sure it wasfor some woman he had received this wound."
"Has he been wounded, then?"
"Oh, good Lord! What have I said?"
"You said that Porthos had received a sword cut."
"Yes, but he has forbidden me so strictly to say so."
"And why so."
"Zounds, monsieur! Because he had boasted that he would perforate thestranger with whom you left him in dispute; whereas the stranger, on thecontrary, in spite of all his rodomontades quickly threw him on hisback. As Monsieur Porthos is a very boastful man, he insists that nobodyshall know he has received this wound except the duchess, whom heendeavored to interest by an account of his adventure."
"It is a wound that confines him to his bed?"
"Ah, and a master stroke, too, I assure you. Your friend's soul muststick tight to his body."
"Were you there, then?"
"Monsieur, I followed them from curiosity, so that I saw the combatwithout the combatants seeing me."
"And what took place?"
"Oh! The affair was not long, I assure you. They placed themselves onguard; the stranger made a feint and a lunge, and that so rapidly thatwhen Monsieur Porthos came to the PARADE, he had already three inches ofsteel in his breast. He immediately fell backward. The stranger placedthe point of his sword at his throat; and Monsieur Porthos, findinghimself at the mercy of his adversary, acknowledged himself conquered.Upon which the stranger asked his name, and learning that it wasPorthos, and not d'Artagnan, he assisted him to rise, brought him backto the hotel, mounted his horse, and disappeared."
"So it was with Monsieur d'Artagnan this stranger meant to quarrel?"
"It appears so."
"And do you know what has become of him?"
"No, I never saw him until that moment, and have not seen him since."
"Very well; I know all that I wish to know. Porthos's chamber is, yousay, on the first story, Number One?"
"Yes, monsieur, the handsomest in the inn--a chamber that I could havelet ten times over."
"Bah! Be satisfied," said d'Artagnan, laughing, "Porthos will pay youwith the money of the Duchess Coquenard."
"Oh, monsieur, procurator's wife or duchess, if she will but loosen herpursestrings, it will be all the same; but she positively answered thatshe was tired of the exigencies and infidelities of Monsieur Porthos,and that she would not send him a denier."
"And did you convey this answer to your guest?"
"We took good care not to do that; he would have found in what fashionwe had executed his commission."
"So that he still expects his money?"
"Oh, Lord, yes, monsieur! Yesterday he wrote again; but it was hisservant who this time put the letter in the post."
"Do you say the procurator's wi
fe is old and ugly?"
"Fifty at least, monsieur, and not at all handsome, according toPathaud's account."
"In that case, you may be quite at ease; she will soon be softened.Besides, Porthos cannot owe you much."
"How, not much! Twenty good pistoles, already, without reckoning thedoctor. He denies himself nothing; it may easily be seen he has beenaccustomed to live well."
"Never mind; if his mistress abandons him, he will find friends, I willanswer for it. So, my dear host, be not uneasy, and continue to take allthe care of him that his situation requires."
"Monsieur has promised me not to open his mouth about the procurator'swife, and not to say a word of the wound?"
"That's agreed; you have my word."
"Oh, he would kill me!"
"Don't be afraid; he is not so much of a devil as he appears."
Saying these words, d'Artagnan went upstairs, leaving his host a littlebetter satisfied with respect to two things in which he appeared to bevery much interested--his debt and his life.
At the top of the stairs, upon the most conspicuous door of thecorridor, was traced in black ink a gigantic number "1." d'Artagnanknocked, and upon the bidding to come in which came from inside, heentered the chamber.
Porthos was in bed, and was playing a game at LANSQUENET withMousqueton, to keep his hand in; while a spit loaded with partridges wasturning before the fire, and on each side of a large chimneypiece, overtwo chafing dishes, were boiling two stewpans, from which exhaled adouble odor of rabbit and fish stews, rejoicing to the smell. Inaddition to this he perceived that the top of a wardrobe and the marbleof a commode were covered with empty bottles.
At the sight of his friend, Porthos uttered a loud cry of joy; andMousqueton, rising respectfully, yielded his place to him, and went togive an eye to the two stewpans, of which he appeared to have theparticular inspection.
"Ah, PARDIEU! Is that you?" said Porthos to d'Artagnan. "You are rightwelcome. Excuse my not coming to meet you; but," added he, looking atd'Artagnan with a certain degree of uneasiness, "you know what hashappened to me?"
"No."
"Has the host told you nothing, then?"
"I asked after you, and came up as soon as I could."
Porthos seemed to breathe more freely.
"And what has happened to you, my dear Porthos?" continued d'Artagnan.
"Why, on making a thrust at my adversary, whom I had already hit threetimes, and whom I meant to finish with the fourth, I put my foot on astone, slipped, and strained my knee."
"Truly?"
"Honor! Luckily for the rascal, for I should have left him dead on thespot, I assure you."
"And what has became of him?"
"Oh, I don't know; he had enough, and set off without waiting for therest. But you, my dear d'Artagnan, what has happened to you?"
"So that this strain of the knee," continued d'Artagnan, "my dearPorthos, keeps you in bed?"
"My God, that's all. I shall be about again in a few days."
"Why did you not have yourself conveyed to Paris? You must be cruellybored here."
"That was my intention; but, my dear friend, I have one thing to confessto you."
"What's that?"
"It is that as I was cruelly bored, as you say, and as I had theseventy-five pistoles in my pocket which you had distributed to me, inorder to amuse myself I invited a gentleman who was traveling this wayto walk up, and proposed a cast of dice. He accepted my challenge, and,my faith, my seventy-five pistoles passed from my pocket to his, withoutreckoning my horse, which he won into the bargain. But you, my deard'Artagnan?"
"What can you expect, my dear Porthos; a man is not privileged in allways," said d'Artagnan. "You know the proverb 'Unlucky at play, lucky inlove.' You are too fortunate in your love for play not to take itsrevenge. What consequence can the reverses of fortune be to you? Haveyou not, happy rogue that you are--have you not your duchess, who cannotfail to come to your aid?"
"Well, you see, my dear d'Artagnan, with what ill luck I play," repliedPorthos, with the most careless air in the world. "I wrote to her tosend me fifty louis or so, of which I stood absolutely in need onaccount of my accident."
"Well?"
"Well, she must be at her country seat, for she has not answered me."
"Truly?"
"No; so I yesterday addressed another epistle to her, still morepressing than the first. But you are here, my dear fellow, let us speakof you. I confess I began to be very uneasy on your account."
"But your host behaves very well toward you, as it appears, my dearPorthos," said d'Artagnan, directing the sick man's attention to thefull stewpans and the empty bottles.
"So, so," replied Porthos. "Only three or four days ago the impertinentjackanapes gave me his bill, and I was forced to turn both him and hisbill out of the door; so that I am here something in the fashion of aconqueror, holding my position, as it were, my conquest. So you see,being in constant fear of being forced from that position, I am armed tothe teeth."
"And yet," said d'Artagnan, laughing, "it appears to me that from timeto time you must make SORTIES." And he again pointed to the bottles andthe stewpans.
"Not I, unfortunately!" said Porthos. "This miserable strain confines meto my bed; but Mousqueton forages, and brings in provisions. FriendMousqueton, you see that we have a reinforcement, and we must have anincrease of supplies."
"Mousqueton," said d'Artagnan, "you must render me a service."
"What, monsieur?"
"You must give your recipe to Planchet. I may be besieged in my turn,and I shall not be sorry for him to be able to let me enjoy the sameadvantages with which you gratify your master."
"Lord, monsieur! There is nothing more easy," said Mousqueton, with amodest air. "One only needs to be sharp, that's all. I was brought up inthe country, and my father in his leisure time was something of apoacher."
"And what did he do the rest of his time?"
"Monsieur, he carried on a trade which I have always thoughtsatisfactory."
"Which?"
"As it was a time of war between the Catholics and the Huguenots, and ashe saw the Catholics exterminate the Huguenots and the Huguenotsexterminate the Catholics--all in the name of religion--he adopted amixed belief which permitted him to be sometimes Catholic, sometimes aHuguenot. Now, he was accustomed to walk with his fowling piece on hisshoulder, behind the hedges which border the roads, and when he saw aCatholic coming alone, the Protestant religion immediately prevailed inhis mind. He lowered his gun in the direction of the traveler; then,when he was within ten paces of him, he commenced a conversation whichalmost always ended by the traveler's abandoning his purse to save hislife. It goes without saying that when he saw a Huguenot coming, he felthimself filled with such ardent Catholic zeal that he could notunderstand how, a quarter of an hour before, he had been able to haveany doubts upon the superiority of our holy religion. For my part,monsieur, I am Catholic--my father, faithful to his principles, havingmade my elder brother a Huguenot."
"And what was the end of this worthy man?" asked d'Artagnan.
"Oh, of the most unfortunate kind, monsieur. One day he was surprised ina lonely road between a Huguenot and a Catholic, with both of whom hehad before had business, and who both knew him again; so they unitedagainst him and hanged him on a tree. Then they came and boasted oftheir fine exploit in the cabaret of the next village, where my brotherand I were drinking."
"And what did you do?" said d'Artagnan.
"We let them tell their story out," replied Mousqueton. "Then, as inleaving the cabaret they took different directions, my brother went andhid himself on the road of the Catholic, and I on that of the Huguenot.Two hours after, all was over; we had done the business of both,admiring the foresight of our poor father, who had taken the precautionto bring each of us up in a different religion."
"Well, I must allow, as you say, your father was a very intelligentfellow. And you say in his leisure moments the worthy man was apoacher?"
"
Yes, monsieur, and it was he who taught me to lay a snare and ground aline. The consequence is that when I saw our laborers, which did not atall suit two such delicate stomachs as ours, I had recourse to a littleof my old trade. While walking near the wood of Monsieur le Prince, Ilaid a few snare in the runs; and while reclining on the banks of hisHighness's pieces of water, I slipped a few lines into his fish ponds.So that now, thanks be to God, we do not want, as Monsieur can testify,for partridges, rabbits, carp or eels--all light, wholesome food,suitable for the sick."
"But the wine," said d'Artagnan, "who furnishes the wine? Your host?"
"That is to say, yes and no."
"How yes and no?"
"He furnishes it, it is true, but he does not know that he has thathonor."
"Explain yourself, Mousqueton; your conversation is full of instructivethings."
"That is it, monsieur. It has so chanced that I met with a Spaniard inmy peregrinations who had seen many countries, and among them the NewWorld."
"What connection can the New World have with the bottles which are onthe commode and the wardrobe?"
"Patience, monsieur, everything will come in its turn."
"This Spaniard had in his service a lackey who had accompanied him inhis voyage to Mexico. This lackey was my compatriot; and we became themore intimate from there being many resemblances of character betweenus. We loved sporting of all kinds better than anything; so that herelated to me how in the plains of the Pampas the natives hunt the tigerand the wild bull with simple running nooses which they throw to adistance of twenty or thirty paces the end of a cord with such nicety;but in face of the proof I was obliged to acknowledge the truth of therecital. My friend placed a bottle at the distance of thirty paces, andat each cast he caught the neck of the bottle in his running noose. Ipracticed this exercise, and as nature has endowed me with somefaculties, at this day I can throw the lasso with any man in the world.Well, do you understand, monsieur? Our host has a well-furnished cellarthe key of which never leaves him; only this cellar has a ventilatinghole. Now through this ventilating hole I throw my lasso, and as I nowknow in which part of the cellar is the best wine, that's my point forsport. You see, monsieur, what the New World has to do with the bottleswhich are on the commode and the wardrobe. Now, will you taste our wine,and without prejudice say what you think of it?"
"Thank you, my friend, thank you; unfortunately, I have justbreakfasted."
"Well," said Porthos, "arrange the table, Mousqueton, and while webreakfast, d'Artagnan will relate to us what has happened to him duringthe ten days since he left us."
"Willingly," said d'Artagnan.
While Porthos and Mousqueton were breakfasting, with the appetites ofconvalescents and with that brotherly cordiality which unites men inmisfortune, d'Artagnan related how Aramis, being wounded, was obliged tostop at Crevecoeur, how he had left Athos fighting at Amiens with fourmen who accused him of being a coiner, and how he, d'Artagnan, had beenforced to run the Comtes de Wardes through the body in order to reachEngland.
But there the confidence of d'Artagnan stopped. He only added that onhis return from Great Britain he had brought back four magnificenthorses--one for himself, and one for each of his companions; then heinformed Porthos that the one intended for him was already installed inthe stable of the tavern.
At this moment Planchet entered, to inform his master that the horseswere sufficiently refreshed and that it would be possible to sleep atClermont.
As d'Artagnan was tolerably reassured with regard to Porthos, and as hewas anxious to obtain news of his two other friends, he held out hishand to the wounded man, and told him he was about to resume his routein order to continue his researches. For the rest, as he reckoned uponreturning by the same route in seven or eight days, if Porthos werestill at the Great St. Martin, he would call for him on his way.
Porthos replied that in all probability his sprain would not permit himto depart yet awhile. Besides, it was necessary he should stay atChantilly to wait for the answer from his duchess.
D'Artagnan wished that answer might be prompt and favorable; and havingagain recommended Porthos to the care of Mousqueton, and paid his billto the host, he resumed his route with Planchet, already relieved of oneof his led horses.