The Adventure of the Denver Walker

that led into the great hall, she thought she heard moaning and wailing, like a horde of Zombies was on the other side. She threw open the door and charged onto the dais at the west end, but stopped dead at what she saw.

  Her entire staff--servants, analysts, and guards alike--lay naked on the floor in a gigantic undulating mass, engaging everyone they could reach in numerous sexual acts of the most disgusting nature imaginable. In the center, Aelfraed kneeled between Mrs. Widget and Madam Trumbo dressed in dominatrix outfits.

  She stood paralyzed, wondering if the whole world had suddenly gone mad.

  Six young maids cavorted with three footmen no more than a fathom from the foot of the dais. One of them happened to look up, and her face split into a huge grin.

  "There she is!" That caught the attention of her five companions, but the footmen remained oblivious.

  "Get her!" another shouted, and the six jumped up and charged the dais. The footmen remained where they were, and simply transferred their affections to new partners and each other.

  Surprised, Differel could only take a couple of steps backwards before they swarmed over the edge and surrounded her, cutting off her escape. Giggling and shrieking, they grappled her.

  "What? Stop! Take your hands off me!" But they ignored her as they began ripping off her clothes.

  She struggled, but they were stronger than she expected, and they had the advantage as they bore her to the floor. "Get off of me, you filthy slags! Let me go! That's an order!"

  They stripped her down to her underwear, but just as they tore away her bra and panties Vlad appeared behind her head. He roared, assuming a horrifying visage, and the maids fled screaming back to the mass of people in the main part of the hall.

  He held out his hand; she took it and he pulled her up. She looked past him and saw the staff getting on their feet and advancing towards the dais.

  "I think we should leave."

  He turned to look where she stared. "I can stop them," he rumbled.

  "I don't want you to hurt them!"

  He turned to give her a mocking leer. "Then discretion would be the better part of valor."

  "Cover me!" She ran for the door, and she heard her people give chase. She raced down the passage to the gate and jumped through, then turned and slammed it shut in the mob's face, locking it. Vlad flowed through the bars and the lead people fell against it, trying to push it open. Deciding not to wait to see what they did next, she sprinted for her office, closed the door, and locked it down as Vlad appeared through the wall.

  "Get the other one!"

  He closed and locked down the door to the meeting room as she went to the safe and ran the combination.

  "Stand aside." He pulled the heavy door open with little effort. "Inside."

  She ran in just as she heard banging on the outer doors. Vlad pushed the door closed and turned the lock, and she heard it engage.

  Reaching above her, she turned on the light as the Master Vampire stepped through the door. "You are safe for the moment."

  "Aelfraed knows the combination."

  "It will take awhile to get the other doors open."

  "He also knows about the access panel." In the back of the chamber lay a kick-away panel that opened onto a secret helical staircase.

  "I will prevent anyone from getting in that way."

  "No, I have a more important task for you. We need to know how far this has spread. Go to the groundskeeper's cottage. If he and his family are safe, evacuate them and have them raise the alarm. If they've succumb, go to the military compound. If you have to go further, keep going as far as you musr until you find normal people. Is that clear?"

  "Crystal, My Master." And he disappeared in a cloud of shadow.

  She didn't know how long she had before the others reached her, but she had to formulate a plan. The best place to head for would be the emergency shelter in the basement, but she didn't want to become trapped with no escape. For that matter, hiding somewhere inside the house presented the same problem, but she wasn't sure she could get outside, and even if she did, where would she go? Hiding anywhere risked being trapped if her people found and surrounded her, but God alone knew what they would do to her if they caught her out in the open; simple rape might be a blessing. Even trying to reach her suite for some clothes would be too risky, despite the fact that she was practically naked.

  "I wish I had sent Vlad there first," she muttered.

  She realized the only way out of that mess would be to go on the offensive, to try to find out what had happened and correct it, but she had no clue where to even start.

  "Quite a predicament, eh Cousin?"

  Differel's heart seized and her gut lurched at the sound of the familiar voice. She spun around and watched the Princess in Orange walk through the safe door.

  "You again!"

  "I said I'd be back -- ooooooo! Lace garter belt and silk stockings! Me likey! Tres chic and very classy, yet still ready for action! Planning on participating in the orgy?" She shimmered, and her cape-coat and erotic Sailor Senshi dress disappeared, along with her underwear -- Assuming she even wears any -- leaving only her diadem, gloves, boots, and stockings held up by an orange garter belt.

  "I think I'll join you!"

  "Did you cause all this?"

  The Princess flashed an exasperated look. "Well, duh! Still the same old silly willy Diffy."

  She couldn't contain her temper. "What the bloody hell did you do?!"

  "There's no need to blow your top!" the Carcosan royal replied in a testy tone. "I just removed their inhibitions. I've found it's surprisingly easy to get you Humans to copulate. You would readily anyways if it wasn't for your civilized restraints."

  "Leave my people alone," she demanded in a tense tone.

  "It's just a game, Cousin, and besides, I'm having too much fun!"

  She decided to try a different tact. "It's me you want, not them. Let them go, please."

  The Princess's eyes flamed and she flashed a predatory leer. "Are you offering yourself to me?"

  She balked. She would if there was no other choice, but only as the absolute last resort. Then something the Princess had said gave her an idea. It could be a long shot, but short of surrendering herself she saw no other viable alternative.

  "I might consider it. You mentioned a game; I take it you like games."

  The pyrotechnics faded and she sported a crafty expression. "That I do."

  "So do I; let's play one of our own."

  The Princess clapped her hands and giggled. "Ohhhhhh, that does sound like fun! What'd you have in mind?! Might I suggest, we fornicate until one of us passes out!"

  No way in Hell! Besides, she had no doubt the Carcosan could outlast an entire army. "My idea may not be as pleasurable, but I believe it will be more exciting."

  "Ooooooo, then tell me, Cousin! I can't wait!"

  "I find a way to end the orgy. If I fail, I will become your lady-in-waiting of my own free will; if I succeed, you relinquish any claim to me forever. Regardless, you restore my people to their former state and wipe their memory of what they did in their current state."

  The Princess laughed, but it had a grim sound. "You propose we do the chess game shtick from Bergman's The Seventh Seal?"

  "Why not? I would like a chance to beat you."

  "Hmm, yes, why not? It might be fun at that, but only under certain conditions."

  "Such as?"

  "You have only one hour."

  "That's not long enough; I'd need at least a day."

  The Princess shook her head. "One hour, or the deal's off; take it or leave it, Cousin."

  "Very well, one hour, but for so short a time, I'll need a clue."

  "Oh, I'll tell you exactly what you need to do!"

  That floored her. "I don't understand."

  "It's very simple, Cousin: the game will not be whether you can find it, but whether you can reach it, and then do what has to be done."

  "I see. In that case, I will also need help." She hate
d to drag Eile and Sunny into her problem, but she couldn't succeed without them.

  The Princess flashed a wicked grin. "If you were hoping Team Girl will come to your rescue as before, think again."

  She felt her heart sink as her stomach flip-flopped. "What did you do to them?"

  "I sent them somewhere they'll have even more fun than you! But don't worry, I don't object to you having a partner, in principle. She should be here soon."

  The idea of the Girls being in mortal danger and her being unable to help tore her guts apart, but she had to put it out of her mind, somehow. As heartless as it might sound, she had to ignore their plight, otherwise she wouldn't be able to concentrate on her own. She had to trust that they could succeed on their own. They were, after all, very resourceful and talented ladies.

  "Very well. Any other conditions?"

  "One more: I automatically win if you succumb to sexual ecstasy, even if the hour isn't up yet."

  "You mean, if my people catch and rape me, and I have an orgasm as a result."

  She giggled. "Just so."

  "All right, agreed. But how do I know I can trust you?"

  "Oh, I never cheat at games, Cousin! There's no advantage in it, and it's not nearly as much fun as letting my opponent have a sporting chance. Even if I do stack the rules in my favor." And she flashed an evil leer.

  Differel crossed her arms to take a defiant stance. That was probably the most dangerous part of the negotiations, but she had to be sure. "I'm afraid that's not good enough. You will have to convince me, or as you say the deal's off."

  "You're being awfully pushy." The Princess didn't look happy, but there were none of the usual signs of anger. In fact she looked more distraught than anything else.

  "Nevertheless, I insist."

  "Oh, poodiddle. There is an oath I can take that binds me to my promise in a way you'd never comprehend, but I only use it as a last resort."

  "Let's assume we've reached that point."

  She sighed, and she closed her eyes and held up her hands, palms facing each other and slightly bent, as she arranged her fingers in a complex yet chaotic pattern. In the space between, the air shimmered and warped, and a glowing sign appeared. Whorls and curves around a central dot composed its appearance, but Differel could discern no pattern. In fact, it seemed to be the very opposite of a pattern, as if the nature of absolute and utter chaos could itself be a kind of orderly arrangement, just one no human mind could comprehend. The only thing she found inexplicable was that it was yellow instead of orange.

  "I swear," the Princess intoned, "by the Yellow Sign, emblem of Lost Carcosa, on the shore of Lake Hali, in the Hyades, under the eye of Aldebaran; in the name of the Phantom of Truth and the Pallid Mask; witnessed by Hastur, Lord Of All; that I shall abide by the rules I have set forth for this, our game. If I lie: may my soul be consigned to eternal torment in the cloudy depths of dread Demhe."

  She opened her eyes and dropped her hands. The sign lingered for a moment in the air, then wavered and faded away. Differel felt glad. While it remained, it had seemed as if the whole universe had grown dark, as the sign felt like a tear in the very fabric of existence. With its passing she shuddered, relieved, as if having witnessed the hairsbreadth escape of the world from Doomsday.

  "Does that satisfy you, Cousin?" Her tone of voice suggested she would not accept any answer other than yes. Differel nodded, trying to get control of her haggard breathing. If the Princess had been willing to invoke Armageddon to prove her sincerity, she wasn't going to challenge it.

  The Princess grinned and clapped her hands. "Ooooo, this'll be so much fun! So, this is what you do: go to the stables."

  She waited for the Carcosan to say more, but she only grinned. "And what then?"

  "Oh, you'll figure it out! But if you don't, or if you can't do what's needed, I win! But, I do need to make one minor change before we start." She snapped her fingers.

  She felt her bosom grow warm. She raised her hands to her breasts out of reflex and felt something odd. Looking down, she jumped: they were now at least four cup sizes bigger. They didn't sag, either, but sat firm and erect like those of an anime bimbo.

  "Bloody hell!"

  "Don't worry, they'll revert to normal when the hour is up, though let me know if you wanna keep 'em! But you'll need them to win the game."

  "Very well. Speaking of reverting, restore my people."

  The Princess shook her head. "Nope, I'll need 'em, to provide obstacles for you to overcome. But when the hour's up, as I promised, win or lose, they'll be back to normal with no memory of what they did."

  "I understand."

  "Good. If that's all, then let the games begin! Your hour starts now. Good luck, Cousin!" She vanished with a giggle, to be replaced by a phantom stop watch beginning a sixty-minute countdown.

  She looked around, wondering what to do. "Oh, bother." Obviously, she had to get out of the house, but how? There was only one--

  The sound of the kick panel being opened startled her. She whirled and watched as someone pushed a box of files out of the way. She glanced at the guns in the case, but decided against arming herself. She wouldn't shoot her own people, and in their present state she doubted they would feel threatened by the sight of a weapon. If only one or two got in, maybe three, she figured she could subdue them, but if it was an entire horde she was doomed. She couldn't fight them all in the close confines of the safe's interior.

  Fortunately only one person emerged; naked except for a single sock on the left foot, her same height and build, with a slightly larger bosom (before her 'enhancement'), an identical face, but with blue eyes, no glasses, and a brassy blonde short-cut. It turned out to be Magdalene Ingrid King, codenamed Miss Primary, her best, most experienced double, and manager of the Caerleon Order.

  Maggie glanced at her as she stepped through stooped over, then straightened up. "Thank God I found you!" She started towards her. "I--Jesus Christ! What happened to you?" She stared at her in bug-eyed shock, her mouth twisted into a sneer of disgust.

  Differel couldn't help looking down at herself. "What, the clothes or the Bristols?"

  Recovering, Maggie stepped up to her. "Frankly, both, but the former I can figure out myself."

  "They're a gift from the Princess in Orange."

  "Is she behind all this?!"

  "I'm afraid so. She and I are engaged in a game. I have to find out the cause of all this and correct it in one hour, or I become her plaything forever." She circled her breasts with a finger. "She gave me these to fix whatever the bloody hell is wrong. I also imagine you're my partner."

  "What?"

  "I asked for help. I was going to request Team Girl, but she said she sent them away so they wouldn't interfere. Instead it looks like she sent you. What do you remember?"

  Maggie scratched her head. "Not much. I was going over some reports with Sharona, when I blanked out. I seem to recall snatches of an orgy, then chasing after you. When I snapped back to reality, I was outside your office with a bunch of other people trying to break in. I figured you needed help, whatever was happening, so I snuck off and went through the access panel in Intelligence."

  "Good, because I could use your assistance."

  "I don't know that I'd be any good under the circumstances."

  "Giles would probably have been a better choice, but other than him, you are the best trained in unarmed combat."

  "If you say so, but wouldn't a gun be better?"

  She gave her a level stare. "Could you shoot one of our colleagues?"

  She flashed a sheepish smile. "Stupid question; sorry. One hour, huh? Where do we begin? How can we find out what happened?"

  "The Princess already told me where I need to go: to the stables. What I need to do when I get there, however; all she said was, I'd know when I arrived."

  "Fat lot of good that'll do us. Still, I guess it's a start. But how do we get out of the house? The office is blocked off, and it won't be long before they remember they can
get in through here. When they find us gone, they'll fan out to look for us. Even if we can evade them inside, once outside they'll spot us for sure, and then they'll be after us like a pack of hounds!"

  Differel picked a spotlight equipped with a high intensity discharge lamp from the equipment locker and flicked the switch to make sure it worked. "I know a way out that no one else knows about. If we can make it, they won't know where we went and they won't be able to follow." She glanced at the phantom clock. "But we have to leave now. We have only fifty-five minutes left, and it'll take time to reach our destination, plus we'll have to come nearly all the way back."

  "I beg your pardon?"

  She shook her head as she walked to the panel. "No time to explain. Just follow me, everything will become clear."

  "If you say so."

  From "The Peril Gem"

  Eile Chica looked down past her feet at the pit of lava. It was maybe ten yards beneath them, but she knew they'd get a lot closer real soon. Looking up, she examined her restraints. Her wrists had been well lashed with a thick cord made of fibrous vines, and slipped over a hook that hung from a rope. The rope had been thrown over a cross-pole high above them, from which she and White-Lion dangled. She couldn't twist her body around far enough to see, but she heard the creak of the winch as it was turned, lowering them towards the lava at a tedious pace. She looked out in front of her. The tribe had gathered around the lip of the pit, and they danced, screamed, and gesticulated in a wild orgy of religious ecstasy, as others stood off behind the crowd pounding on hollow log drums.

  "Uhh, Braveheart, I think we're in trouble."

  Irritated by the inane comment, she scowled and gave White-Lion a dirty look. "Brilliant deduction, Sherlock," she growled in a sarcastic tone.

  White-Lion jerked her head around, her eyes and mouth opened in large startled O's. "Oh, my! What brought that on?"

  "Whaddya think, ya ditz?"

  "You sound upset."

  "Now, what makes you think that? A bunch of murderous savages want ta immolate us as a sacrifice to their god in punishment for trying ta steal their sacred jewel. Why the hell would I be upset?! Gaaah, sometimes you can be such a space-case!"

  "Well, getting mad at me won't help."

  White-Lion's words triggered an idea for how to escape. She realized it was a long shot, but she didn't see that they had any choice.

  "Geeze, get a clue, will ya? We wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you and yer hair-brained schemes."

  "Hey! You can't blame this on me."

  "Oh, yeah? Whose idea was it ta steal the Eye of the Devourer?"

  "Well, it certainly wasn't my idea to sneak through the village at night."

  "Yer the one who set off the alarm!"

  "Only because you were about to step on that sleeping guard!"

  "Ya didn't have ta yell!"

  "How else was I supposed to get your attention? You were too far away to hear me whisper."

  "You were supposed ta be right behind me."

  "You were moving too fast!"

  "I was tryin' ta get through the village before we were discovered, ya bimbo! Why couldn't you keep up?"

  "I was trying to be stealthy!"

  "Dammit! I thought we agreed ta move fast!"

  "I didn't agree to