Dawn

  CHAPTER IV

  SCHOOL

  And so the summer passed, and September came. And September brought anew problem--school. And school meant books.

  Two days before school began Keith sought Susan Betts in the kitchen.

  "Say, Susan, that was awfully good johnny-cake we had this morning."

  Susan picked up another plate to dry and turned toward her visitor.Her face was sternly grave, though there was something very like atwinkle in her eye.

  "There ain't no cookies, if that's what you're wantin'," she said.

  "Aw, Susan, I never said a word about cookies."

  "Then what is it you want? It's plain to be seen there's something, Iween."

  "My, how easy you do make rhymes, Susan. What's that 'I ween' mean?"

  "Now, Keith Burton, this beatin' the bush like this don't do one miteof good. You might jest as well out with it first as last. Now, whatis it you want?"

  Keith drew a long sigh.

  "Well, Susan, there IS something--a little something--only I meantwhat I said about the johnny-cake and the rhymes; truly, I did."

  "Well?" Susan was smiling faintly.

  "Susan, you know you can make dad do anything."

  Susan began to stiffen, and Keith hastened to disarm her.

  "No, no, truly! This is the part I want. You CAN make dad do anything;and I want you to do it for me."

  "Do what?"

  "Make him let me off from school any more."

  "Let you off from school!" In her stupefied amazement Susan actuallyforgot to pick up another plate from the dishpan.

  "Yes. Tell him I'm sick, or 't isn't good for me. And truly, 't isn'tgood for me. And truly, I am quite a little sick, Susan. I don't feelwell a bit. There's a kind of sinking feeling in my stomach, and----"

  But Susan had found her wits and her tongue by this time, and she gavefree rein to her wrath.

  "Let you off from school, indeed! Why, Keith Burton, I'm ashamed ofyou--an' you that I've always boasted of! What do you want to do--growup a perfect ignominious?"

  Keith drew back resentfully, and uptilted his chin.

  "No, Susan Betts, I'm not wanting to be a--a ignominious, and I don'tintend to be one, either. I'm going to be an artist--a great bigfamous artist, and I don't NEED school for that. How aremultiplication tables and history and grammar going to help me paintbig pictures? That's what I want to know. But I'm afraid that dad--Say, WON'T you tell dad that I don't NEED books any more, and----" Buthe stopped short, so extraordinary was the expression that had come toSusan Betts's face. If it were possible to think of Susan Betts ascrying, he should think she was going to cry now.

  "Need books? Why, child, there ain't nobody but what needs books. An'I guess I know! What do you suppose I wouldn't give now if I could 'a'had books an' book-learnin' when I was young? I could 'a' writ realpoetry then that would sell. I could 'a' spoke out an' said thingsthat are in my soul, an' that I CAN'T say now, 'cause I don't know thewords that--that will impress what I mean. Now, look a-here, KeithBurton, you're young. You've got a chance. Do you see to it that youmake good. An' it's books that will help you do it."

  "But books won't help me paint, Susan."

  "They will, too. Books will help you do anything."

  "Then you won't ask dad?"

  "Indeed, I won't."

  "But I don't see how books----" With a long sigh Keith turned away.

  In the studio the next morning he faced his father.

  "Dad, you can't learn to paint pictures by just READING how to do it,can you?"

  "You certainly cannot, my boy."

  "There! I told Susan Betts so, but she wouldn't LISTEN to me. And so--Idon't have to go to school any more, do I?"

  "Don't have to go to school any more! Why, Keith, what an absurd idea!Of course you've got to go to school!"

  "But just to be an artist and paint pictures, I don't see----"

  But his father cut him short and would not listen.

  Five minutes later a very disappointed, disheartened young lad leftthe studio and walked slowly down the hall.

  There was no way out of it. If one were successfully to be Jerry andNed and dad and one's self, all in one, there was nothing but schooland more school, and, yes, college, that would give one the propertraining. Dad had said it.

  Keith went to school the next morning. With an oh-well-I-don't-careair he slung his books over his shoulder and swung out the gate,whistling blithely.

  It might not be so bad, after all, he was telling himself. Perhaps theprint would be plainer now. Anyway, he could learn a lot in classlistening to the others; and maybe some of the boys would study withhim, and do the reading part.

  But it was not to be so easy as Keith hoped for. To begin with, theprint had not grown any clearer. It was more blurred than ever. To besure, it was much worse with one eye than with the other; but he couldnot keep one eye shut all the time. Besides--his eyes ached now if hetried to use them much, and grew red and inflamed, and he was afraidhis father would notice them. He began to see strange flashes ofrainbow light now, too. And sometimes little haloes around the lampflame. As if one could study books with all that!

  True, he learned something in class--but naturally he was never calledupon to recite what had already been given, so he invariably failedmiserably when it came to his turn. Even the "boy to study with"proved to be a delusion and a snare, for no boy was found who cared todo "all the reading," without being told the reason why it wasexpected of him--and that was exactly what Keith was straining everynerve to keep to himself.

  And so week in and week out Keith stumbled along through thosemisery-filled days, each one seemingly a little more unbearable than thelast. Of course, it could not continue indefinitely, and Keith, in hisheart, knew it. Almost every lesson was more or less of a failure, andrecitation hour was a torture and a torment. The teacher alternatelyreproved and reproached him, with frequent appeals to his pride,holding up for comparison his splendid standing of the past. Hisclassmates gibed and jeered mercilessly. And Keith stood it all. Onlya tightening of his lips and a new misery in his eyes showed that hehad heard and understood. He made neither apology nor explanation.Above all, by neither word nor sign did he betray that, because theprint in his books was blurred, he could not study.

  Then came the day when his report card was sent to his father, and hehimself was summoned to the studio to answer for it.

  "Well, my son, what is the meaning of that?"

  Keith had never seen his father look so stern. He was holding up thecard, face outward. Keith knew that the damning figures were there,and he suspected what they were, though he could see only a blurredmass of indistinct marks. With one last effort he attempted still tocling to his subterfuge.

  "What--what is it?" he stammered.

  "'What is it?'--and in the face of a record like that!" cried hisfather sternly. "That's exactly what I want to know. What is it? Isthis the way, Keith, that you're showing me that you don't want to goto school? I haven't forgotten, you see, that you tried to beg offgoing this fall. Now, what is the matter?"

  Keith shifted his position miserably. His face grew white andstrained-looking.

  "I--I couldn't seem to get my lessons, dad."

  "Couldn't! You mean you wouldn't, Keith. Surely, you're not trying tomake me think you couldn't have made a better record than this, ifyou'd tried."

  There was no answer.

  "Keith!" There was only pleading in the voice now--pleading with anunsteadiness more eloquent than words. "Have you forgotten so soonwhat I told you?--how now you hold all the hopes of Jerry and Ned andof--dad in your own two hands? Keith, do you think, do you reallythink you're treating Jerry and Ned and dad--square?"

  For a moment there was no answer; then a very faint, constrained voiceasked:

  "What were those figures, dad?"

  "Read for yourself." With the words the card was thrust into his hand.

  Keith bent his head. His eyes apparently were studying the card.
/>
  "Suppose you read them aloud, Keith."

  There was a moment's pause; then with a little convulsive breath thewords came.

  "I--can't--dad."

  The man smiled grimly.

  "Well, I don't know as I wonder. They are pretty bad. However, I guesswe'll have to have them. Read them aloud, Keith."

  "But, honest, dad, I can't. I mean--they're all blurred and runtogether." The boy's face was white like paper now.

  Daniel Burton gave his son a quick glance.

  "Blurred? Run together?" He reached for the card and held it a momentbefore his own eyes. Then sharply he looked at his son again. "Youmean--Can't you read any of those figures--the largest ones?"

  Keith shook his head.

  "Why, Keith, how long----" A sudden change came to his face. "Youmean--is that the reason you haven't been able to get your lessons, boy?"

  Keith nodded dumbly, miserably.

  "But, my dear boy, why in the world didn't you say so? Look here,Keith, how long has this been going on?"

  There was no answer.

  "Since the very first of school?"

  "Before that."

  "How long before that?"

  "Last spring on my--birthday. I noticed it first--then."

  "Good Heavens! As long as that, and never a word to me? Why, Keith,what in the world possessed you? Why didn't you tell me? We'd have hadthat fixed up long ago."

  "Fixed up?" Keith's eyes were eager, incredulous.

  "To be sure. We'd have had some glasses, of course."

  Keith shook his head. All the light fled from his face.

  "Uncle Joe Harrington tried that, but it didn't help--any."

  "Uncle Joe! But Uncle Joe is----" Daniel Burton stopped short. A newlook came to his eyes. Into his son's face he threw a glance at oncefearful, searching, rebellious. Then he straightened up angrily.

  "Nonsense, Keith! Don't get silly notions into your head," he snappedsharply. "It's nothing but a little near-sightedness, and we'll havesome glasses to remedy that in no time. We'll go down to theoptician's to-morrow. Meanwhile I'll drop a note to your teacher, andyou needn't go to school again till we get your glasses."

  Near-sightedness! Keith caught at the straw and held to it fiercely.Near-sightedness! Of course, it was that, and not blindness, likeUncle Joe's at all. Didn't dad know? Of course, he did! Still, if itwas near-sightedness he ought to be able to see near to; and yet itwas just as blurred--But, then, of course it WAS near-sightedness. Dadsaid it was.

  They went to the optician's the next morning. It seemed there was anoculist, too, and he had to be seen. When the lengthy and arduousexaminations were concluded, Keith drew a long breath. Surely now,after all that--

  Just what they said Keith did not know. He knew only that he did notget any glasses, and that his father was very angry, and very much putout about something, and that he kept declaring that these old idiotsdidn't know their business, anyway, and the only thing to do was to goto Boston where there was somebody who DID know his business.

  They went to Boston a few days later. It was not a long journey, butKeith hailed it with delight, and was very much excited over theprospect of it. Still, he did not enjoy it very well, for with hisfather he had to go from one doctor to another, and none of themseemed really to understand his business--that is, not well enough tosatisfy his father, else why did he go to so many? And there did notseem to be anywhere any glasses that would do any good.

  Keith began to worry then, for fear that his father had been wrong,and that it was not near-sightedness after all. He could not forgetUncle Joe--and Uncle Joe had not been able to find any glasses thatdid any good. Besides, he heard his father and the doctors talking agreat deal about "an accident," and a "consequent injury to the opticnerve"; and he had to answer a lot of questions about the time when hewas eleven years old and ran into the big maple tree with his sled,cutting a bad gash in his forehead. But as if that, so long ago, couldhave anything to do with things looking blurred now!

  But it did have something to do with it--several of the doctors saidthat; and they said it was possible that a slight operation now mightarrest the disease. They would try it. Only one eye was badly affectedat present.

  So it was arranged that Keith should stay a month with one of thedoctors, letting his father go back to Hinsdale.

  It was not a pleasant experience, and it seemed to Keith anything buta "slight operation"; but at the end of the month the bandages wereoff, and his father had come to take him back home.

  The print was not quite so blurred now, though it was still far fromclear, and Keith noticed that his father and the doctors had a greatdeal to say to each other in very low tones, and that his father'sface was very grave.

  Then they started for home. On the journey his father talkedcheerfully, even gayly; but Keith was not at all deceived. For perhapshalf an hour he watched his father closely. Then he spoke.

  "Dad, you might just as well tell me."

  "Tell you what?"

  "About those doctors--what they said."

  "Why, they said all sorts of things, Keith. You heard them yourself."The man spoke lightly, still cheerily.

  "Oh, yes, they said all sorts of things, but they didn't say anythingPARTICULAR before me. They always talked to you soft and low on oneside. I want to know what they said then."

  "Why, really, Keith, they----"

  "Dad," interposed the boy a bit tensely, when his father's hesitationleft the sentence unfinished, "you might just as well tell me. I knowalready it isn't good, or you'd have told me right away. And if it'sbad--I might just as well know it now, 'cause I'll have to know itsometime. Dad, what did they say? Don't worry. I can stand it--honest,I can. I've GOT to stand it. Besides, I've been expecting it--ever solong. 'Keith, you're going to be blind.' I wish't you'd say it rightout like that--if you've got to say it."

  But the man shuddered and gave a low cry.

  "No, no, Keith, never! I'll not say it. You're not going to be blind!"

  "But didn't they say I was?"

  "They said--they said it MIGHT be. They couldn't tell yet." The manwet his lips and cleared his throat huskily. "They said--it would besome time yet before they could tell, for sure. And even then, if itcame, there might be another operation that--But for now, Keith, we'vegot to wait--that's all. I've got some drops, and there are certainthings you'll have to do each day. You can't go to school, and youcan't read, of course; but there are lots of things you can do. Andthere are lots of things we can do together--you'll see. And it'scoming out all right. It's bound to come out all right."

  "Yes, sir." Keith said the two words, then shut his lips tight. Keithcould not trust himself to talk much just then. Babies and girlscried, of course; but men, and boys who were almost men--they did notcry.

  For a long minute he said nothing; then, with his chin held high andhis breath sternly under control, he said:

  "Of course, dad, if I do get blind, you won't expect me to be Jerry,and Ned, and--and you, all in a bunch, then, will you?"

  This time it was dad who could not speak--except with a strong rightarm that clasped with a pressure that hurt.