That Night

  I looked out the window again, turning away from him, trying to shut myself down. “I should get back.”

  He was silent for a few beats, and I thought he might say something else, but then he flashed up the truck. Neither of us said a word until we got back to the woods behind my cabin. I didn’t meet his eyes until I climbed out of the truck.

  “We’re not finished,” he said. “If we are, we’ll find out on our own, but I don’t want us to be finished because of them.” His voice turned hard and angry. “They aren’t going to take anything from me again.”

  I watched him drive away, hating the way his voice had just sounded. It made me think of the look on his face when he was gripping that drug dealer’s throat. Like he wanted to keep squeezing.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CAMPBELL RIVER

  JULY 2013

  The next day I bought a disposable phone and drove by Kim’s old house, then parked on the side of the road while I tried to figure out if her mom still owned the place. I noticed that the front yard was overgrown, the grass and weeds more than a foot high. Nothing looked like it had been watered or pruned for years. The house was also run-down, the siding stained and the windows filthy. But I could see a statue of Jesus on the sill and remembered that Kim’s mom was a religious fanatic. She’d also been tidy, from what I remembered, so she must’ve been sick for some time. There was a car in the driveway, probably hers. I ducked low when I saw someone come out the door. I peeked through my steering wheel.

  Kim still had long hair and a dancer’s body, lithe and trim in her capris and fitted tank top that showed the sinewy muscles in her shoulders as she reached down for the newspaper that was on the doorstep. I thought about her other life, with her dance studio, her partner. Did they have children? Were they married? I remembered Kim at the trial, the empty look in her eyes. Was it guilt?

  After she went inside, I considered going up to the door, but decided it would be better to wait until there were no possible witnesses. Her mom probably went to bed early, and if she was on pain meds she’d be a heavy sleeper.

  Around nine-thirty I made my way back to Kim’s, keeping an eye on the road behind me. I didn’t see any cops, but they could be using ghost cars. I made lots of turns and stopped at a few stores, gathering receipts—I’d been doing that lately, in case they tried to pin anything on me again.

  When I got to Kim’s I parked down the road, taking another look around before walking down her driveway and under the carport. From inside I could hear faint sounds from a TV. I peeked through the side window. Kim was curled up on the couch, with a book opened in her lap and a healthy glass of wine in front of her. She rubbed her forehead, yawned. There was no sign of her mother.

  I went to the door and knocked softly. Silence, then unsteady, cautious steps toward the door.

  A tentative whisper. “Who’s there?”

  She didn’t sound surprised. Maybe she’d had other late-night visitors.

  “An old friend. I have some information you might be interested in, something about Shauna.”

  I thought for sure she’d ask for my name, but she opened the door behind the screen. Her eyes widened when she saw it was me. Her expression of horror would’ve been humorous if I’d been in a laughing mood. She looked like she didn’t know whether to run or slam the door. She said, “I can call the police.”

  “And tell them what? I haven’t done anything.”

  “You’re trespassing—and you’re not supposed to be talking to me. It’s harassment.”

  “So tell me you want me to leave. But I think you’ll want to hear what I have to say.”

  She paused as she thought it over. Then she said, “My mom’s sleeping,” and glanced over her shoulder.

  “We can meet in your backyard.” Now she looked up and down the street. I added, “No one followed me. I made sure.”

  “I’ll grab a sweater and meet you at the bottom of the garden.”

  I let myself into her backyard, careful not to let the garden gate squeak. Inside, I could see Kim moving slowly through the house. She didn’t reach for the phone. If she was genuinely afraid of me, a convicted killer, she’d have called the police. But she felt safe—probably because she knew I hadn’t killed my sister. She also didn’t call Shauna or anyone else, which meant she wanted to hear what I had to say.

  She came out a side door, walking down the edge of the garden and keeping to the shadows. When she reached me she studied my arms, her eyes big as she stared at my tattoos.

  She took a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and held them out.

  “No, thanks,” I said. When had she started smoking?

  She lit up, her fingers shaking slightly, her face lit with a ghostly glow for a moment. “I can’t smoke in the house, my mom’s on oxygen.”

  “I heard you were back to help her.”

  She nodded, took a deep drag on her cigarette, and held the smoke down a long time before she exhaled.

  “Your mom’s been sick for a while. Why are you back now?” She turned to look at me, hostility in her eyes.

  “You said you had information.”

  “And you want to hear it, because you know Shauna’s a problem.”

  “I don’t have any problems with Shauna, but when someone shows up at my door saying they know something about a good friend of mine, I want to know what’s going on.”

  “I heard you guys haven’t been in touch for years.”

  “People lose touch, doesn’t mean they stop being friends.” She took a drag, sucked hard on the cigarette, and blew the smoke out in a rush. “What’s this all about? If you don’t explain why you’re here, I’m going back inside.”

  “Shauna’s getting rid of you next.”

  Her body jerked back, her face flooding with fear as her mouth opened wide. I waited for her to speak.

  “What … what are you talking about?”

  “Shauna killed Cathy.”

  “This is ridiculous. I’m leaving.” But she didn’t make a move.

  “You know it’s true. Whether she’s admitted it or not, she did it.”

  Kim’s eyes narrowed, smoke drifting around us. “From what I heard, the cops suspect you and Ryan. They just didn’t have enough to charge you.”

  “Lots of people like to say we did things we didn’t.” I changed the confrontational tone of my voice, tried to soften my words. “I don’t know why you lied at the trial, Kim, but I’ve spent most of my life in prison—for a crime you know I didn’t commit. How have you been able to live with yourself?”

  She was silent, her face frozen, but I could sense that every word had hit her like a blow. And I had more for her.

  “I don’t know what happened the night Nicole was murdered—but you do. And so did Cathy. She was talking to people, the story was coming out, and now she’s dead. If you thought I killed her, you wouldn’t be standing here.”

  “You don’t know it was Shauna.”

  “But you know, and she’s going to make sure anyone who knows what happened to Nicole can’t talk. Maybe your mom’s oxygen tank blows up, or maybe you have a car accident. There are a lot of ways someone can disappear.”

  “Shauna wouldn’t kill Cathy or me.” She caught herself and added, “She wouldn’t kill anyone.”

  “You can keep telling yourself that, but you know what she’s capable of doing. The only thing that’s going to save you is if you go to the police first.”

  The reality of my words was sinking in, her face pale in the dim light, the cigarette in her hand burned down to the filter. She was either going to accept the truth and start considering her options, or run away from it.

  “Get off my property.” She pointed a shaking hand toward the driveway. I had my answer.

  “You’re a fool if you think you can trust Shauna,” I said. “Nicole was your friend—and look what happened to her.”

  Her face almost buckled for a moment, then she collected herself.

  “Nicole got me ki
cked out of my house. And if you don’t get out of here in five seconds, I’m calling the police.”

  I turned and walked away. When I got in my truck I drove by her place fast, so she could see me leaving, but then I circled back and parked on a side street where I could watch her house. I waited, thinking about the conversation. Her guilt was obvious. I also thought about her saying that Nicole had gotten her kicked out. What was she talking about?

  An hour later she left the house, glancing around before she climbed into her mother’s car. I followed at a distance.

  I tailed her to a subdivision and noticed her car slowing down, her brake lights flashing like she was going to stop soon. I didn’t want to get too close, so I parked on the side of the road and hoofed it up the hill. I spotted her car in front of a big house with elaborate landscaping that had to cost a fortune. It also looked like there was a pool in the backyard and that the property overlooked the ocean. It had to be Shauna’s place. Then I realized Kim was still sitting in her car—at the last second I caught the glow of her face, lit by a cell phone. I ducked behind some bushes, close enough to see the car. She was texting someone. A moment later, Shauna came out of the house and got into the passenger seat. Kim rolled down the window, lit another cigarette.

  They talked for a while. I couldn’t see much, just Kim’s profile, puffs of smoke. After about ten minutes Shauna got out of the car and leaned through the window, said something. She walked away, but Kim stayed in her car for a couple more minutes, blowing smoke out the window as she stared back at the house. Finally she drove off.

  I got back in my truck. Partway down the road, I recognized a girl standing in the shadows on the shoulder. Ashley. How long had she been watching? When she saw me slowing down, she tried to turn her face away. I stopped beside her and rolled down the window.

  “What are you doing, Ashley?”

  “Same thing as you.” She pointed toward the house. “Watching my mom talk to Kim. I was just coming home when I saw her get in the car, and thought it was weird.”

  Now I noticed the video camera in her hand. The red light on.

  “What the hell, Ashley? Are you recording me?”

  “I was recording them.” She flicked the light off. “I didn’t see your truck until later.”

  “I’d feel a lot better if you gave me the memory card.”

  “It’s on the hard drive—I can’t take it out. And I have other stuff on here.”

  This wasn’t good, but I didn’t want to piss the kid off. She could really screw things up for me and Ryan. “If that got in the wrong hands and my truck was seen near your mom’s place, I’m going back to prison. Do you understand?”

  “I won’t show it to anyone.”

  “Ashley, this is my life on the line.”

  She looked up the road toward her house, gnawing her lip. Finally she did something on the camera, showing me the delete button as she pressed it.

  “It’s gone, but I’m just trying to help you.”

  “This has nothing to do with you.”

  “Yes, it does, she’s my mother.” She looked angry, but not at me.

  This time I looked back at the house, wondered what it must be like to grow up with a mother like Shauna. I still didn’t know if Ashley was just trying to get at the truth or get back at her mom for something.

  “If you want to help me, just stay out of it. I don’t want anyone else caught up in this mess.”

  An outside light went on at the house beside us, casting light onto the road. I put my truck in gear and tore off, watching Ashley in my rearview mirror as she walked toward her house, head down, like she was deep in thought.

  * * *

  The next day I drove to the hospital early, hoping to catch Rachel coming in from the parking lot, or leaving—I didn’t want to go to her house because I knew she had a family. I had a feeling it was going to be a long wait and brought some snacks and water, but after a few hours in my truck I’d gone through all my supplies. I was hungry and desperate for a pee when I finally saw Rachel leave with a group of nurses around lunchtime. Shit. I’d been hoping she’d be alone. I decided to wait and see what happened.

  The group sat at a picnic table under a maple tree, laughing as they ate their sandwiches and salads. I thought of my girls back at Rockland and wondered if I’d ever find that camaraderie again with people on the outside. I’d come close, at the restaurant and the shelter, but that had been ripped away from me too. I felt another hot jolt of anger, reminding me that I had to settle this once and for all.

  After they were finished, the other nurses went inside, leaving Rachel while she flipped open her cell phone, texting someone. I got out of my truck and headed in her direction. Intent on her phone, she didn’t notice me.

  “Hi, Rachel.”

  She glanced up, a confused smile on her face that vanished as soon as she recognized me. She stood up, grabbing at her things. “Get away from me.”

  “I have some information you need.”

  “There’s nothing I need from you.” She was looking around like she was about to scream for help. I worried about staff security. I had to get her attention.

  “It’s about Shauna, what she’s going to do to you.”

  “Shauna’s not going to do anything.” But she still didn’t walk away. Same as with Kim, there was something in her that wanted to hear what I had to say.

  “You have a family now—kids.”

  “How do you know about my family?” Anger and fear mixed on her face.

  “It’s a small town. And I know you’re a good mother. You don’t want your kids to suffer. But if you keep on with what you guys are doing, you’re going to get caught. You know Shauna killed Cathy.”

  “That’s ridiculous.” She tossed her head, reminding me of her teenage self. How much she’d wanted Shauna’s approval, how she’d do anything for her. “You and Ryan killed her—and they’ll prove it soon.”

  I felt a moment of fear, wondering if she’d heard something. Did the cops have new evidence? I had to continue with the plan.

  “She was starting to talk about what really happened that night, how you girls killed Nicole. She was going to help us prove we were innocent. Why would we kill her?”

  Rachel was breathing hard, her face flushed and panicked.

  I gave it another push. “She was talking to a lot of people. It’s just a matter of time before some of them start coming forward. Then the police are going to take a look at you girls for Cathy’s death. I wouldn’t be surprised if Shauna even points the finger at you. She covered up one murder by blaming it on someone else. What’s to stop her from turning on you guys now?”

  “We didn’t do anything.” Her voice was desperate.

  “But you did, you know you did. And you know that Shauna killed Cathy. Whether she’s admitted it or not, you know. And you can be sure that she’ll cover her own ass if the shit hits the fan. But who’s protecting you?”

  “If I were you, I’d be worried about yourself.” Now she was angry, fear making her attack. “This is harassment.”

  “Here’s the difference between me and you, Rachel. I have nothing left to lose. But you do.”

  She sucked in her breath, her eyes wide and scared, and for a second she looked like she might cry. I stepped closer.

  “There’s already another witness who can place Shauna’s car out at the lake at midnight. If I were you, I’d go to the police now and tell my side before Shauna points the finger. Maybe you were only a witness to Nicole’s death, maybe you don’t know for sure what she did to Cathy, but you know she was involved. If you talk now, you might be able to get a plea bargain and be out in time to see your kids grow up. But if you wait, she’s going to sink you.”

  Her face was pale with fear, but she grabbed her things and said, “I’m not going to prison, because I didn’t do anything.”

  She spun around and hurried back to the hospital.

  * * *

  I was almost back at the campsite
when I noticed the cop car tailing me. My heart started going crazy in my chest. Had Rachel or Kim called the cops? If they had, I was fucked. I checked my speed, dropped it down, hoping the cop just happened to be on the road at the same time. But then he turned on his lights, coming up fast behind me. I pulled over and watched in my side mirror as a man got out and sauntered toward my truck. Shit. It was Doug Hicks.

  I rolled down my window and waited, heart still pounding.

  “Good afternoon, Toni.”

  “Afternoon, Officer.”

  “Where you coming from?”

  “Just visiting an old friend. Was I speeding?”

  “That friend wouldn’t be Ryan Walker, would it?”

  So maybe he didn’t know about my visits to Kim and Rachel.

  “Nope. It’s against the conditions of my parole to speak with him.”

  He glanced up the highway, back down again. My nerves were tight with tension, my mouth filling with saliva. What exactly was going on here?

  He leaned closer. “I’ve been talking to a few people.”

  “Yeah?” I worked hard to keep my expression flat.

  “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we should have another look at your sister’s murder. Problem is, if your boy Ryan’s also talking to people, things get messed up in witnesses’ minds. They might remember things differently. That makes it hard for us to get to the bottom of what really happened.”

  I stared at him. “Are you saying you believe us now?” There had to be a catch.

  “I’m saying we can’t reopen the case or take another look at any of the evidence if you guys are running around stirring up trouble.”

  So that was the deal. We back off and he might reopen our case. I hated the position he was putting me in, the hope that his words were kicking up. I didn’t want to screw up anything if he was serious. Then I realized that he was probably bullshitting. There was no gain in this for him, no reason he’d want to take another look at a case that could make him and the other cops who were involved look like idiots. It was just another game.