That Night
“What were they upset about?” I said. “How did you hear about it?”
“Nicole called me one night crying. She said Shauna was mad at her and lying to the other girls, saying Nicole had fooled around with Rachel’s boyfriend and that she was the one who told Kim’s mom that Kim was gay.”
I remembered Cathy telling Ryan that they’d been pissed off at Nicole, remembered Kim saying Nicole had gotten her kicked out. I was finally getting close to the truth.
“Did Nicole tell you what Shauna was so angry about?”
“No, just that she’d screwed up really bad and Shauna found out.”
I thought over everything, reflecting back on the weeks leading up to the night of the murder. I remembered the white car slowing down outside the house. Maybe it had been Shauna after all. What could Nicole have done that was so bad Shauna turned the other girls on her?
Darlene also looked lost in thought as she stared at the cat, now stalking a fly on the floor. Her voice soft and haunted, she said, “She asked if we could be friends again, said she was sorry for how she had treated me. But I told her she was a bitch and I never wanted to talk to her again. Then I hung up.” Her eyes met mine. “That was the last time I ever spoke with her.”
Neither of us said anything for a minute. Then she heaved a sigh.
“I’ve got to get to work now.”
“I appreciate you talking to me today.” I stood up. “If you think of something else, anything at all, please call me.” I gave her my number, which she hastily jotted down on a piece of paper by her phone.
She walked me to the door, her arms hugging tight around her chest, like the conversation had cast a chill over her body.
Out on the front steps, she said, “Those girls, I never could understand why Nicole started hanging around with them.”
“Me neither.”
“Everyone thought Nicole was so perfect, but she was just good at pretending to be good. We got in a lot of trouble together. We used to laugh about it sometimes. How your mom was always so tough on you but didn’t know what Nicole was really up to most of the time.”
“It seems none of us knew what was really going on in her life, not in those last few months anyway.”
“It’s still scary, thinking about her murder. When you’re a teenager you don’t think stuff like that will happen, not to someone you know. Kids stopped going to the lake, or if they did, her murder was all they wanted to talk about. Everyone pretended they were friends with her, or that they knew you and Ryan. I never went out there again, never even talked about her, but I thought about her all the time. I didn’t understand how someone could hate her that much.”
She met my eyes, her expression suddenly nervous, like she was worried she’d said too much.
She said, “I have to go,” and stepped back inside the house, locking the door behind her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CAMPBELL RIVER
JULY 2013
I went back to the campsite and logged onto the office computer, checking to see if I’d gotten any e-mails. There was one about a landscaping job I’d applied for months ago. They wanted to know if I was still looking. I e-mailed back that I was interested and would love to come in for an interview. I didn’t know if I’d be on parole for much longer, but I had another meeting with Suzanne coming up and I needed to show her I was trying. Plus, I needed money. I gave Suzanne a call, but she wasn’t around. I’d been hoping to get a sense of what might be going on.
When I was finished, I did some online searches for a Dave Jorgensen. Unfortunately, it was a pretty common name, and I didn’t see anyone who might be my sister’s old boyfriend. I looked up some people we went to school with on Facebook, then checked their friends’ lists, but there was no one with that name.
Exhausted from all the stress of the last couple of days, I tried to have a nap but I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d learned from Darlene about that last year with Nicole. According to Darlene, Nicole might’ve broken up with Dave a couple weeks before she started hanging out with the girls. So why was she still sneaking out? Had they reconnected? I’d assumed her necklace had been lost that night, but maybe the killer had taken it. But if this guy was the real murderer, why had the girls lied at my trial? Just because they hated me?
It was possible, but my gut told me Shauna was involved more deeply in Nicole’s death than just lying at my trial, something that seemed even more likely now that Darlene had revealed that Shauna had been angry with Nicole. Could Shauna have been involved with this Dave guy too? She didn’t have a boyfriend that last year, not that I remembered. Something had been going on. But what?
I’d hoped talking to Darlene would help me clear things up, but now I had more questions than answers. The only thing I knew for sure was that my sister had had a secret life. One that had probably gotten her killed.
* * *
The next morning I headed into town to do some shopping, but when I got to the plaza I noticed Ashley’s car in the parking lot. Her boyfriend was sitting behind the wheel, smoking, and Ashley was standing outside the car. Shauna’s car was parked beside them, and she was also standing outside. They were obviously fighting about something, their faces angry and their hands stabbing at the air as they made their points. I parked around the corner where I could see them. They exchanged a few more angry words, then Ashley got into her car while her mom was still talking and slammed the door in her face. Ashley and Aiden drove off, Ashley wiping at her cheeks like she was crying, and Shauna staring after them, her face flushed and her mouth an angry line. She got back in her car and started talking to someone on her cell. Whatever Shauna was pissed about, I was sure Ashley’s letting her boyfriend drive her car hadn’t helped matters. Shauna put down the phone and drove around the corner of the plaza. Curious, I decided to follow her.
This time she pulled into the back parking lot. I kept my distance, but I could see her talking on her cell again, then a man opened the back door of a store. He was around our age, dark hair, with a bit of a potbelly, but nice-enough-looking. Shauna got out of the car. They talked for a moment. Shauna’s body language was still aggravated and I got the feeling she was venting about her fight with Ashley. Who was this guy? They looked around, checking to see if anyone was watching. I ducked down, peeking over my steering wheel. He pulled her in for a hug, then kissed her on the mouth. She accepted the kiss but she was the first to move away, pushing his hands off her rear end. He ushered her inside the back door.
I drove around the front of the building to see what store she had entered. A camera shop. Was she having an affair with Ashley’s teacher? Talk about being involved in your daughter’s life. I went back to the campsite and tried to process everything. I had new information, but how could it help me? I considered calling Ryan but decided to keep it to myself for a while. I didn’t want him rushing anything.
I thought about everything Darlene had told me. The girls had to know Nicole had been seeing a boy. She would have confided—if nothing else, just to prove how cool she was. Maybe I was right and Shauna had been involved with this Dave guy or was friends with him.
Maybe I was looking at it all wrong. What if they hadn’t testified to screw me over? What if they were protecting someone else?
The only person who knew the whole story was Shauna. But how was I going to get it out of her? I couldn’t risk following her around. Could I piss her off somehow, make her crack? What would be the best way to get under her skin? Even though she tried to control her daughter’s every move, it was obvious she loved Ashley, or at least wanted Ashley to love her. I remembered how threatened she’d get when she felt she was losing someone when we were kids. So how would she feel if her daughter were to find out about her affair?
I had to convince Shauna that I had information she wouldn’t want her daughter, or anyone else, knowing about. If I could then get her to meet me somewhere private, her ego and her hatred of me might get the best of her and she might start talking. I’d seen th
at in prison. People who couldn’t keep their mouths shut about their crimes because they were so proud of what they’d pulled off that they just had to tell someone. Shauna might relish the idea of telling me face-to-face how she’d screwed my life up. How she’d won.
I thought of Ashley filming her mom talking with Kim. It wasn’t a bad idea. My cell phone also had a voice recorder. There was nothing stopping Shauna from trying to attack me, but I had a feeling she wouldn’t go one-on-one. She was sneakier than that. I did have a feeling she’d want to meet with me, though, to find out what I knew.
But I wasn’t stupid. If she was willing to meet with me, I’d make sure I was carrying a knife.
First, I had to speak with her.
* * *
I looked up Shauna’s number, hoping that Ashley didn’t answer. She didn’t.
Shauna said, “Hello?”
“It’s Toni. I think it’s time we talked.”
She paused for a long moment. I didn’t say anything else.
“You’re not supposed to call me,” she said.
“And you’re not supposed to make out with store owners in a parking lot.”
She sucked in her breath, then regained her calm, her voice smooth and controlled as she said, “What’s this about?”
“I want to meet with you face-to-face.”
“You’re nuts. Why would I meet you?”
“Because I know things. Like why you killed my sister. I just had a nice chat with one of my sister’s friends from school. A close friend. Seems my sister talked with her before she died, about someone she was seeing in secret. But I don’t think it was a secret to you.”
Silence.
I had to be careful. If I took a step in the wrong direction, I could lose her. I had to make her think I had evidence of something. Then it came to me.
“After Nicole died, my parents gave her friend a box of things, sentimental things, from when they were kids. Like my sister’s diary. Now I have it, and something tells me you might want it.”
“I don’t believe you.” She said it firmly, but it was too emphatic, like she was trying to convince herself.
“But you don’t know for sure, do you? And the only way you’re going to find out is if you meet me at the lake tomorrow night.”
“I’m not going to meet a convicted killer at the lake.”
I wondered if she remembered that the anniversary of Nicole’s death was coming up soon. Did she even care, or had she forgotten the date years ago?
“I think I’m the one taking the bigger risk, don’t you? You know that I’ve never killed anyone, but I can’t say the same about you.”
“If you have information, why aren’t you going to the police?”
She was showing her hand, admitting there was something to be known, to be shown.
“I’ve already served my time. I don’t want to go through another court case and lengthy appeal. I just want to move on with my life, and I need you to back off. So we’re going to meet, and you’re going to give me a big chunk of cash for this diary. Then I’m going to get transferred out of here, and you never have to see or hear from me again.”
“That’s all you want? Money?” I could hear her sneering through the phone.
“Thirty grand. Then you never have to see me again.”
“What about Ryan?”
I thought quickly. “He’s leaving too—we’re splitting the money.”
She was quiet, also thinking. “What if I can’t get thirty?”
“Then your daughter is going to get a call, then your husband, then the police, and then you’ll be calling a lawyer.”
She sucked in her breath, an angry hiss. “Fine. I’ll meet you.”
“Eleven o’clock tomorrow night. At the north end of the lake, near the cliffs.”
I hung up the phone, then sat in my darkened cabin, my heart thudding. Everything was in play. The only piece missing was Ryan. Maybe he could hide in the woods in case I needed backup. I started to dial his number, then hesitated. I didn’t want him to get in trouble, didn’t want to risk our being seen together. If something went wrong, and it very well could, I didn’t want us both going back to prison. I had to do this alone.
* * *
The next day, the hours ticked by in slow motion. I went for a walk along the ocean, thinking of Captain, thinking of Ryan. After tonight things were going to get better, or worse, but I was ready for it.
A little before ten, I grabbed my phone, tested the recording application a couple of times, then put a knife I’d bought the day before in my back pocket. If I was caught with it I’d definitely lose my parole, but the hard metal in my pocket felt solid, reassuring. I’d gotten an e-mail back about the landscaping job and had an interview the following day. For a moment I allowed myself to get excited. It sounded great, working outside all day. Then I shut off the thoughts, not wanting to get distracted, not wanting to think about tomorrow or the next day or anything else. I just had to get through tonight. Suzanne had also called and my heart was in my throat the entire time, but she just asked the basic questions.
There was a strong chance that Shauna wasn’t coming alone, that she’d bring Kim and Rachel. Just in case, I wrote a letter explaining everything I’d discovered and who I was meeting, then left it in my cabin. I even wrote out a will, leaving the rest of my pathetic savings and belongings to Ryan, and added a note asking that he adopt Captain and give him the good home he deserved.
After that, I quickly cleaned my room, made my bed, tidied my few belongings, and tried to prepare myself for whatever was coming my way.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CAMPBELL RIVER
JULY 2013
It was quiet at the lake—no one was out there at this time of night. I had my windows down and the air smelled of pine needles and lake water. It had changed since I’d been there seventeen years ago, more overgrown, trees reaching for each other over the old roads and almost touching on the other side. I hadn’t wanted to meet Shauna where Nicole had died, still haunted by memories of pulling her naked body from the cold water. Instead, I’d chosen a spot at the far end, high above the lake where the boys used to drop off the cliffs into the water while the girls screamed in excitement. I was there fifteen minutes early, so I sat in my car with the radio playing and observed the dark woods around me, the shapes and shadows. I thought about how Nicole must have felt that night. Alone and scared, waiting for Ryan and me to come back, but instead someone else had shown up.
Then I thought about the brief note I’d left for Ryan at the cabin. Was that really how I wanted to leave things between us if something happened to me? I fingered the disposable phone in my pocket. Should I call him? I dialed his number.
“Toni, is that you?”
This was a mistake. I should’ve left things alone.
“Toni? Are you okay?” His voice sounded scared.
“Yeah, hey, I was just thinking about you, and—” I stopped as my throat tightened.
“Where are you? What’s going on?”
“Nothing … I shouldn’t have called.”
I could feel him thinking, putting things together.
“Are you meeting someone? Where are you?”
“I have to go, call you later.” I hung up the phone. Shit.
A couple of minutes past eleven, Shauna’s headlights crept up the hill and she parked at the other end of the clearing. I dimmed my headlights so we could see each other but not be blinded. She did the same. She stepped out of the passenger side, holding her hands in front, showing me she didn’t have a weapon.
Who was driving? It had to be one of the girls. I hit the recording app on my phone and tucked it into my pocket. I stepped out of my truck, holding my own hands up, though I was well aware of the knife tucked in my back pocket.
I took a couple of steps forward, and so did she. We stopped when we were a few feet apart. “Scared to come alone, Shauna?”
“Where’s this diary, Toni?”
 
; “In my truck.” I gestured behind me. “Show me the money first.” I had to get her talking about what had happened that night, but I wasn’t sure how to do it without revealing that I’d never read any diary—and that there wasn’t one. Just in case Shauna asked to see something, I’d found a pink diary at a dollar store and had filled some of the pages, but that was only going to get me so far.
She walked to her car and opened the back door, took out a duffel bag, and threw it a couple of feet in front of her. “Come and get it.”
It would look strange if I didn’t try for the money. I stepped forward and was reaching down for the bag when I heard a rustling noise. I looked up. Shauna was holding a gun on me. Her arm was straight, the gun unwavering. I held up my hands, stumbled back a couple of steps.
“What the fuck?”
The driver’s door opened and a man got out of the car.
It was Frank McKinney. I stared in shock.
“Shauna, get the diary,” he said.
How was he involved? Was he going to kill me? My heart started to race frantically. Could I make a run for it? I looked around. The trees were too far away. I’d be shot before I got a few feet. McKinney’s eyes met mine.
“What are you doing here?” I said.
“Like you don’t know.”
He obviously thought I knew more than I did. But what?
McKinney shifted his weight and I caught sight of the gun in a holster on his belt. It also looked like he was wearing a bulletproof vest underneath his windbreaker, his body bulky. I remembered the phone in my pocket. Could I try to call 911? Before I could do anything, Shauna motioned for me to step away from the truck. I moved to the side, keeping an eye on McKinney, who had his hand hovering near his gun as he watched me. Shauna searched under my seats, in the glove department. She found the diary, flipped through the pages, and laughed. She climbed out of the truck, threw the diary onto the ground.
“It’s empty.”
“The real diary isn’t here,” I said. “I’ve put it somewhere safe.”
Shauna looked enraged. “What do you mean, it’s not here?” She pointed her gun at me again. In the shadows, McKinney also looked furious.