Made for You

  Feeling the tears build, I knew my answer was going to be a greedy one. I didn’t want to give up my vice yet and that made me feel like such a bitch. I let a tear fall and whispered, “Until we completely forget.”

  Mason stood and carried me into his bedroom where we both drifted to sleep while wrapped in each other’s arms. I never stayed the night with him before, but tonight I think we both needed to not be alone.

  “HOLDEN, WE’RE GOING to be late!” Daphne shouted from the living room.

  Rolling my eyes, I sucked in a deep breath and prayed that I’d get through this night without fucking anything up. Daphne’s dad given strict orders to be at the restaurant at seven sharp, and with me having to work later than normal, we were already running behind by ten minutes.

  When I walked into the living room I saw Daphne staring out over downtown Los Angles. She’d grown up here, the daughter of a movie producer. We’d met at USC through mutual friends. She flirted with me all the time. Everything changed my junior year, though. The first year I hadn’t gone back home over Thanksgiving break to see my high school girl friend, Emylie. Had I gone home, things would be completely different in my life. Most days, I wished like hell I had gone back home. I thought of Emylie every single day. Longed to have her in my arms. There were so many times I wanted to ask my parents or Mason about her. I knew she was working on my father’s hunting range. Fulfilling her part of our dream. The dream I messed up because of one stupid-ass mistake that I will regret the rest of my damn life.

  With a shake of my head, I pushed Emylie from my mind. “Why am I thinking of Em?” I silently asked myself as I got my act together and focused back on the woman I was fixin’ to ask marry me tonight. Not that I wanted to ask her. I was forced into it. Yet again, because of one stupid fuck up. Seems like I made those often.

  Turning, Daphne smiled when she saw me. “My, oh my, Mr. Warner, you look handsome.”

  My gaze roamed over her body and the form fitting black cocktail dress she had on. It did nothing for me. I wasn’t the least bit attracted to her. But I forced the words from my mouth. “And you, my dear, look hot as hell.”

  Frowning, she replied, “Always the romantic one you are.”

  My chest tightened. I never knew the right thing to say to her anymore. If I thought I was paying her a compliment, she took the opposite way. The whole relationship was fucked up.

  Countless nights I wanted to call Em and tell her everything. Beg her to forgive me. But I knew Emylie, and I knew she would doubt I had stayed true to her at all.

  Fucked. Up. All of it.

  Daphne reached for her clutch as we made our way to the elevator that whisked us down from the top floor of our condo to the lounge Daphne’s dad had rented out for the evening.

  Making our way into the room, Daphne put her game face on. There were a few top producers here, and I knew she was hoping to catch the eye of one or two of them.

  The night dragged on as Daphne and her father worked the room while I sat at the table in the corner and drank one drink after another. Taking in a deep breath, I pulled out my phone to see I had a missed text from my mother.

  Mom: Holden, I really hope you’ll think about coming home for the family reunion. I’m sure your father would love to see you. I would, you know. It’s been almost three years since you’ve been home. You can’t hide forever.

  “Shit,” I whispered as I searched for Daphne. She was in the middle of a conversation with her father and an actress I recognized from some hospital TV show.

  Standing, I made my way out into the hall. Hitting my mother’s number, I attempted to calm my beating heart. Any time I thought about heading home, I thought of two things. My father looking at me with disappointment at my decision to stay in LA and not return to the ranch, and seeing Emylie. I had made her a promise that I had broken. I still had nightmares of hearing her cry over the phone when I told her about Daphne. I felt like a complete asshole. I didn’t even remember cheating. A part of me knew Daphne slipped me something that night, but I could never get her to admit it.

  Daphne was the complete opposite of Emylie. Her endless flirting caught my attention, but I would have never acted on it. Yet, I got so wasted that night, I did act. That night changed everything. I wasn’t me. I chased some stupid ass thing I thought I needed to do to make sure I was on the right path. Prove to myself that I really did want the life we had planned together. As if my love for Emylie wasn’t enough. I was too blind to see she was all I ever needed.

  “Holden! Sweetheart, how are you?” my mother said as she covered the phone and yelled, “Sam! It’s Holden!”

  Knowing my father, he wouldn’t care less that I was on the phone. I cleared my throat. “Hey, Mom. How have y’all been?”

  I’d worked for the last year on keeping my Texas accent at a bare minimum, but any time I talked to Mom or Mason, it came back in full swing. Daphne thought I sounded like a hick and reminded me all the time how much she hated my southern accent.

  “We’re doing good. It’s been raining here a lot, but we need it, so I won’t complain.”

  Nodding my head, I inhaled a deep breath through my nose and slowly blew it out of my mouth. The hallway felt like it was closing in on me. Kind of like my whole life these last few years. I deserved it though. What I put Emylie through was nothing compared to the hell I lived in. “That’s good. I know how much y’all needed to get out of that drought.”

  “Darling, you sound so sad. Is everything okay?”

  Glancing back toward the door, I saw Daphne throw her head back and laugh. My chest ached and I knew I should be feeling the total opposite of what I was. “Yeah. I wanted to call and let you know I’m … uh … well I’m asking Daphne to marry me tonight.”

  Sucking in a sharp intake of air, my mother stammered, “W-what? You’re doing what?”

  “Um … I said I was asking Daphne to marry me tonight.”

  The silence that followed had me wishing I hadn’t even called.

  “Holden, we’ve never even met this girl. I’ve only seen a few pictures of her. Are you sure … what about Emylie?”

  My heart dropped. I wanted more than anything to have my mother’s blessing. I needed to have them. “What about Emylie?” Was Emylie still single? Was she dating someone? Mason never offered and I never asked.

  “Nothing, never mind. If Daphne makes you happy and this is what you truly want, your father and I will of course give our blessing to you both.”

  My eyes closed. If only she knew it was the last thing I wanted. But I had no choice. I was raised to do the right thing and that’s what I would do. Forcing myself to sound happy, I replied, “Mom, you don’t know how much that means to me. Maybe I could bring Daphne home with me for the family reunion? That way she can meet everyone.”

  “Oh … um … why that sounds … ah … yes. That sounds wonderful, Holden.”

  I could hear it in her voice. She didn’t want to meet Daphne. To my mother, she was the reason I never came back home. The reason I broke the heart of the only woman I had ever loved. She was the reason for the sadness in my voice when I called home.

  Daphne walked to the door and motioned for me to come back inside. Lifting my finger to ask for one more minute, she raised her brow at me before she turned and walked away.

  I couldn’t ignore the sick feeling in my stomach. I had tried to make things work with Daphne. I’d given up Emylie for her and the baby, thinking it was the right thing to do at the time. I had never told my parent’s about the baby and felt guilty when Daphne had miscarried. The only reason I stayed in California was because of the guilt I was riddled with. Daphne blamed me for her losing the baby, and a part of me believed her. She had fallen into such a state of depression; if I left, God knows what she would have done.

  When I told Daphne a month ago I was thinking of heading back to Texas and that things weren’t working out, she started crying. What happened after that felt like a déjà vu. A fucking nightmare that was s
tarting all over again.

  “Is the reunion still held during the July Jubilee?”

  Clearing her throat, my mother answered, “Yes. Can you come that soon? That’s next week, Holden.”

  “Daphne and I both had planned on taking a camping trip, but I’m going to surprise her by bringing her home to meet y’all.”

  What I really wanted to say was I was coming home to see Emylie. To chance seeing her one last time before I let go of that dream. A part of me wondered if I told her the truth and she forgave me, if I could walk away from Daphne and my responsibility.

  “Oh, darling. Do you think that’s such a good idea? What if she wants an advance warning or something? From the little I’ve come to know about her, I don’t see her taking this with a grain of salt.”

  Daphne was now standing back at the door, this time with her hands on her hips. I didn’t really give two shits what Daphne wanted. “Nah, she’ll love it, Mom. I can’t wait to see y’all. I’m sure you’re going to love Daphne.”

  “Uh-huh, I’m really excited.” I could hear the hesitation in her voice. I knew she knew something wasn’t right. I could never really hide much from her. I also knew what the risks were by bringing Daphne home. I had to take them though.

  Walking toward the door, I said, “Listen, Mom, I’ve got to run. I love you. Give everyone my love.”

  “Good luck tonight, Holden. I’ll have everything ready for when you come home with um … Daphne.”

  “Great! Bye, Mom.” Hitting End, I pushed my phone into my pocket and opened the door.

  “Damn it, Holden, you kept Daddy waiting. We’ve already missed the first few minutes of his speech.”

  Feeling the excitement of heading home deflate, I kissed Daphne softly on the cheek. “I’m sorry. I was talking to my mother.” The last thing I wanted to do was upset Daphne. God forbid her world get rocked.

  Walking ahead of me, she simply said, “Oh … that’s nice.” As she took her place next to her own mother, she plastered on her perfectly rehearsed happy face. The waiter walked by and I grabbed a glass of champagne. Daphne quickly pushed my hand down and shook her head. “I think you’ve had enough, don’t you?”

  My mouth gaped open as I attempted to push my anger aside. Tonight was special for Daphne and her family, and tonight I was going to ask her to marry me. Surely I could overlook Daphne’s need to constantly tell me what to do.

  She took a glass and went to take a drink, but I leaned in and said, “Should you be drinking that, darling?”

  The glass stopped at her lips. “I forgot.”

  My stomach dropped. How in the hell could she forget she was pregnant? Taking the drink from her hand, I downed it.

  Plastering on a fake smile to match Daphne’s, I stood and listened to her father announce the movie he had signed on to direct and that his daughter had the lead role. The entire room erupted in cheers as Daphne soaked it all up. She was in her element for sure. I was still trying to figure out how in the hell she was going to pull it off, acting in a major motion picture while pregnant. Her father didn’t seem to care either. All he told me was they would figure it out and it wasn’t for me to worry about.

  Not for me to worry about. Being the father of the baby, I had a right to worry.

  Cheers erupted again as Daphne took her place next to her father to talk about how excited she was for this role.

  Closing my eyes, I tuned everyone out. The only thing I could hear was the sound of Emylie crying.

  Everything was indeed fucked up.

  As the party died down, I finally had a chance to dance with Daphne. Holding her close to me, I smiled and asked, “Are you happy?”

  Grinning from ear-to-ear, Daphne gasped, “Oh my God, yes! I don’t think this night could get any better.”

  The fact that this made her happier than when she found out she was pregnant worked my nerves.

  Taking a quick glance around, I noticed a good number of people had finally left. Stopping, I reached into my pocket as I took a step away from Daphne.

  “Holden? What’s wrong?”

  Getting down on one knee, I opened the box and held the one-and-a-half carat diamond up and asked, “Daphne Marie Weston, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife and spending the rest of our lives together?”

  Daphne quickly glanced around the room before turning back to me and covering her mouth. Tears began to roll down her cheeks as she nodded her head and dropped her hands. “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you, Holden.”

  Again, the room erupted in cheers, expect this time there were cameras surrounding us as flashes began going off. Daphne quickly turned and began posing as she held up her hand for me to slip the ring on. I had wanted this to be a private moment between us so it didn’t end up in the paper. I always worried about Emylie seeing me with Daphne. But Mr. Weston insisted it be done this evening, and in this way. He said it would be good PR for Daphne. Seeing him standing across the room smiling, I was beginning to think it was good PR for him and his new movie.

  I was buzzing from all the alcohol I had drank tonight. I needed it to make my way through living in my own personal hell. I knew it was nothing more than Karma. Life getting me back for being unfaithful to Emylie.

  What I needed to do was stop thinking about my ex and focus on the woman who carried my child. The woman I could barely stand to be around. Maybe if I tried to be more romantic, things would be better. We hadn’t had sex in weeks, which wasn’t anything new. But lately Daphne seemed to be trying to get me to fuck her at every turn. It never worked though. Either I couldn’t get it up, probably because I was thinking of Emylie, or I was working late. Something I did on purpose to stay away. Tonight would be different. I asked her to marry me, and the least I could do was be with her.

  Walking into the condo, I grabbed Daphne and pushed her up against the wall. “I’m ready to peel that dress of you and—”

  Giving me a push, Daphne shook her head. “Damn it, Holden! Why didn’t you ask me earlier! Right after Daddy’s speech would have been perfect. Everyone was still there then. It would have been all over the evening news.”

  Standing there staring at her, I felt my chest tighten. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? You’re bitching at me because I didn’t ask you in front of total strangers? It’s bad enough your father strong-armed me into asking you at this event. This is a mistake. All of this. It’s never going to work. Clearly I don’t make you happy and you don’t make me happy. The only thing we have in common is this baby.”

  Daphne’s expression softened as she walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Oh, baby! Forgive me. It was perfect. It was amazing, and I love you!”

  I pulled back and stared into her blue eyes. “Daphne, I don’t want to start out this marriage with you already bitching at me. Let’s be honest, the only reason we’re getting married is because of the baby. I was ready to move out a few months ago and head back to Texas.”

  Anger moved across her face. “That’s the only reason, huh? I thought maybe you actually cared about me, Holden. You cared enough to fuck me that night in the restaurant that led us to this pregnancy.”

  “That was a mistake on my part.”

  “A mistake!”

  I could see she was getting upset and the last thing I wanted was to cause her stress. If she lost another baby, Lord knows how badly she would handle it.

  “I’m sorry. Daphne, I didn’t mean to say that. You have to admit our relationship is fucked up.”

  She forced a smile. “It’s been so stressful for both of us. We haven’t been able to give each other enough attention. I know how much you like it when I give you attention.”

  Guilt washed across my body. Her idea of attention was to drop to her knees and suck me off, and I wasn’t going to lie, I liked it.

  “I can’t wait to go camping. Just you and me and lots and lots of sex.” Wiggling her brows, she took a step back as she motioned for me to follow her.

  Sex. Yeah right
. We hardly ever slept in the same bed, let alone fucked in it, which was fine by me.

  Running her tongue across her lips, Daphne spoke softly. “Speaking of sex, I do believe we have an engagement to celebrate.”

  Reaching up and loosening my tie, I followed Daphne into our bedroom where we celebrated Daphne-style. Me making sure she was taken care of first and her doing as little as possible to return the favor.

  Reaching for the drawer, I grabbed a condom. “Why are you wearing a condom?” she demanded. The frustration was evident in her voice. “Damn it. I’m pregnant for fuck’s sakes.”

  I got into this mess because I didn’t wear a condom, twice. Each time I was wasted when I fucked her without one and each time she got pregnant. It was the only thing that kept a barrier between us, as fucked up as that sounded. Every time with Daphne felt like I was cheating on Emylie. In some weird way, the condoms kept a distance I needed. That made me nothing but an asshole. If I really didn’t want to be with her, I wouldn’t. But I was a guy and jacking off in the bathroom got tiresome.

  Once I came, she crawled off and said, “I’m going to sleep in the guest room. You’re snoring keeps me up. Maybe next time we can forgo the horrible rubber. It irritates me.”

  The bedroom door slammed and I pulled off the condom and tossed it in the trash. Cleaning up, I fell back into bed.

  Staring up at the ceiling, I let out a gruff laugh.

  Yep.

  Karma indeed.

  LEANING MY HEAD back, I let the evening sun hit my face. Texas in July was sweltering, and I longed to be somewhere cooler as the heat beat down on my face.

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  With a wide grin, I turned to see Mason walking up. Sitting next to me, we both gazed out over the eighteen-acre lake. The nearly cloudless sky reflected off the water, offering a beautiful view. “How was your day?”

  Mason shook his head and let out a long frustrated breath. “Fucking long. Sam and Debbie had everyone running everywhere to get things set up for the family reunion.”