Losing Traction: Westbeach #1

  I officially hate Ryder Oakley.

  If only that were true. Swinging open my front door, I relax immediately. Nettie follows me in, glancing around the room, a tear escaping from her eye. I drop my bags to pull her in for a hug.

  “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll get through this.”

  She wipes her cheek and nods. “Thank you.”

  I point her upstairs, directing her to the spare room. “I’m just going to have a quick shower. You have one in your room and there are towels in the cupboard. Go and settle in,” I say to her.

  “Thanks, Phoebe.”

  After having a quick shower and changing into some sweat pants and a tank top, I walk back down to the kitchen to rummage through my alcohol cabinet. Nettie walks in when I’m ass in the air and face deep inside.

  “You okay?” she asks, hands crossed in front of her little tank top and wearing pink baggy pajama pants.

  “Yes, yep. I just needed this!” I pull out a bottle of Absinthe and her eyes shoot open.

  “You play with the big boys, huh?”

  I twist the clear bottle open with a smile. “Oh, you have no idea.”

  Yep, I definitely regret that.

  The next morning I wake with a pounding headache. Clutching my head, I groan out in pain. I don’t know why I decided Absinthe was a good idea. Maybe because the last time I had it, I had a good time. Swinging my legs off the bed, my home phone rings from my bedside table and I wince from the piercing sound vibrating through my brain.

  “Hello?” I croak out.

  “Phoebe? Oh my God, are you okay? I’m coming over.” It’s Melissa.

  “All right.”

  “No, not okay. Oh man. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

  Hanging up the phone, I pull my ass out of my bed and glance at Nettie’s door while I’m walking past. Her sobs coming through the walls break my heart. I slide down her door, resting my head against the wall, banging it a couple times. I feel empty and betrayed. This is the second time he’s hurt me. Hurt me deep this time, though, because I’m pretty sure, I’ve fallen in love with him. New tears spring to my eyes and I swipe them away angrily. I need to stop. Like he would be this upset? I’m crying tears for a man who doesn’t give a shit about me. Standing from the floor fast, only to regret it when my head begins spinning, I clutch onto the wall with one hand and my head with the other when I hear my front door open then close.

  “Phoebe?” Melissa calls out from downstairs.

  “Yep, I’m coming,” I groan out in pain.

  Pushing off the walls, I make my way downstairs. I can only imagine the mess I look. My eyes haven’t had a break for longer than five minutes since this shit happened. Once I reach the bottom of the stairs, Melissa’s hand flies to her mouth. She looks good. Her hair is back to all blonde and is a lot longer than it was before. Her body is looking good like she’s been hitting the gym.

  Interesting. Melissa repels exercise.

  “Oh my God, Phoebe,” she whispers, walking up to me and pulling me into her embrace.

  “I’ll be fine. A lot of shit happened. And…look. I can’t have Blake know—”

  “Oh sweetie,” she laughs nervously, “he already knows. The whole club knows.”

  “Fuck.”

  “I have a friend here as well. She’s been through it rough. I’ll explain it to you all at once, so I don’t have to repeat myself, though. Her name is Nettie.”

  Melissa nods her head. “Okay honey, no problem.”

  I walk into the kitchen and pour myself a coffee, clutching the warm ceramic cup in my hand. “How’s Meadow?”

  “She’s good. She’s been working a lot lately.”

  I nod, placing my cup on the counter just as Nettie walks in. Her turquoise hair all over the place and her mascara smudged. I smile at her, pointing to Melissa. “This is Melissa, Melissa this is Nettie.”

  Melissa stands from her chair, pulling her in for a hug. “Hi, love. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “You too,” Nettie replies politely before pouring herself a coffee.

  “So, Blake will be here in—” My front door swings open and my body jolts as it slams shut. I look to Nettie and whisper a quick apology to her right before Blake rounds the corner with Shooter.

  “Phoebe?” he states, looking to me jaw clenched.

  “Why were you crying last night as you were leaving the hotel?”

  I shrug, trying to act casual. “He broke up with me.”

  I turn to the coffee pot, pouring in more black thunder.

  “What do you mean, he broke up with you. Why?”

  “I don’t know, Blake. I don’t want to talk about it! Okay? Just drop it, and don’t do anything to him. I’ll be fine.”

  I bend down and give Shooter big hugs as he covers me with his slobbery love in return. “Oh, this is what I need big juicy loving kisses from my favorite man.”

  Blake clears his throat. And I shake my head with a small smile. “Well, one of them.”

  Nettie looks to Shooter, her face pale. “Oh my God, Phoebe! Do you own a black panther?”

  I laugh. “He’s a Cane Corso, they resemble a panther.”

  “Blake, Nettie…Nettie, Blake.” He lifts his chin to her before looking back to me.

  “The circuit, I need to show you something—”

  “What? What’s wrong?” I panic a little.

  “I’m not sure, come on. We’ll go down. Vicky said you wanted to call it, Speedy’s Way?”

  I swallow, I really hope nothing bad has happened, I couldn’t cope with another shit thing going wrong.

  “All right, I’ll get my keys. And yes, don’t mock the name, I like it.”

  “I wasn’t gonna, and um…go get changed.” He points to my sweat pants.

  “Yes, and get changed. Come on Nettie.”

  She drops her cup and follows me upstairs. I quickly change into some short shorts and a tank top before slipping on my ballerina flats.

  I meet Nettie down the bottom of the stairwell and smile up at her. “Come on, let me show you heaven!”

  I lead her out by my glass sliding doors and across the grass around to my garage.

  “Holy sweet mother of God!” Nettie whispers from behind me.

  “I know,” I reply smugly.

  When I open my garage door, I smile as the smell of home hits me and fills my heart with warmth.

  I walk to my BMW and beep her open. Blake follows us in and points to the car. “You sure about that?”

  I nod my head. “I need a change, I need…something.”

  “What you need is to need chill out for a bit, Phoebe.”

  I shake my head. “No, I need to forget Ryder Oakley.”

  “Fuck! I want to kill him,” Blake states casually.

  “Well, you can’t.”

  “I can—”

  “Don’t…” I hiss.

  Nettie sits there uneasily watching the exchange between Blake and me, and Melissa looks bored. She’s used to this, Nettie is not.

  “I won’t. But I can’t speak for Vicky, or Kalie, or Alaina.”

  “Shit,” I whisper, clutching the door in my hand. I forgot about the girls. There’s no doubt in my mind that they already have a truck packed up with armory and have all our alibis in line. My girls are crazy, but I love them to bits. I make a mental note to go and see them this week.

  “Let’s go.” We all get into the BMW and I turn her into life, rubbing my hand over the Momo steering wheel, the smell of the car bringing back memories from the night my world changed.

  “Phoebe?” Melissa whispers from the back seat.

  “Don’t,” I answer, gripping the wheel and pushing in the clutch while pushing the button to open one of the garage doors.

  “I need this. I need to forget Ryder Oakley. I need to see my circuit. My life…starts here. Fuck Ryder Oakley.” I push in my clutch, putting it in first and speeding out of there, attempting to leave my heartbreak and pain back in the garage.

  We p
ull up to the circuit, my face stretching wide.

  “Oh my God!” I screech and look to Blake in the passenger seat. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I yell.

  He smiles proudly. “I know, I’m amazing.”

  It’s done. My circuit is completed, and she looks terrific. As soon as you pull down the long gravel road, there’s a big glass building that stretches long and wide, with glass roof to floor windows looking directly out to the start line. I rip off my seat belt and get out of the car fast.

  Squealing again, I run up to Blake, swinging my arms around his neck and kissing him on the cheek. “You are more than amazing, big boy.”

  He smiles, nudging his head toward the building. “Come on, let’s take a look inside.”

  We all begin walking toward the massive glass building with Melissa and Nettie laughing about something behind me. I knew they’d get along fine. I think Melissa will be good for Nettie. Everybody needs a Melissa in their life.

  Blake pushes open the door and gestures for me to enter. When he flicks the lights on, displaying the huge bar a whole round of, “Surprise,” is shouted with a whole bunch of bikers and their women jumping out from behind the bar. My hand flies up to my mouth and tears prick my eyes. They all begin walking to me, pulling me in one by one for a hug. Once I’m down to the final three girls, who I have missed like crazy, I break down even more and they all envelope me for one huge hug.

  “The Escalade is ready. We have balaclavas, AKA 47’s and I even have an alibi. The boys don’t know anything, so we’re good to go tonight at nine,” Alaina rushes out and I laugh. Alaina is Zane’s Old Lady. He’s the president of the Sinful Souls MC. She’s the queen around here, and what she says goes, but I have to object this time.

  “Aliana, I love you, but we can’t kill him.” I’m giggling still slightly.

  She shrugs. “Well then, we can mess him up a bit. Come on! What d’ya say?” She has an enormous smile on her lips that makes me burst out laughing.

  “Seriously, he’s not even worth the blood-stained hands.”

  I mean that. When I begin to miss him, I remember that laugh and the words that came out of his mouth.

  “I. Don’t. Want. You.”

  My heart stings at the memory before I pull myself back to the present.

  I still can’t believe what I had said to her. I hate that I hurt her, but it had to be done. I have too much shit to sort through, and this shit with my family, I don’t want her in danger. Who knows what sort of drama Rellik comes with? His background is shady, I don’t want Phoebe around it. She needed to go back to Westbeach where I know she’ll always be safe. I’m not proud of the words that came out of my mouth, I had no intention of hurting her, but I also knew that she’d never leave otherwise.

  Phoebe is a fixer, she’s a healer. She mends people before herself and she cares too much. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will have a hit over my head with her family, but hopefully Blake picks up his phone so I can explain. He does, and I swallow down my nerves. I’m in no way a pussy, but Blake Rendon is a scary motherfucker and there’s no one he loves more than his sister. The girl’s heart that I’m pretty sure—I’ve just broken.

  “Ryder,” he growls down the phone.

  I sit back on the sofa and swallow. “Yeah man, it’s me.”

  “Is there a reason you’re calling? Other than giving me your location so I can beat your ass.”

  “Look,” I say to him, getting up from the sofa. “There’s shit going down, and I’m pretty sure she has left out some pretty valuable information about some events that went down.”

  Silence. Fucking knew it.

  “What are you talking about?” I hear his background noise die out and a door close.

  “I’m talking about my long lost brother kidnapping her to get to me. It sounds worse than it really is, and I’ve handled it, but I needed her safe away from it all, and I needed you to understand that because there’s no doubting…” I pause, inhaling in a large amount of air.

  “No doubting what? And we will get back to your brother, no one puts their hands on her without paying for it from me,” he answers. The anger his voice is laced with, seeps through the phone and heads directly to my senses.

  “That I’m completely fucking in love with your sister.”

  Silence…

  “She’s hurt, Ryder. You worked a fucking number on her. It’s a good thing the circuit is opening this weekend to keep her busy.”

  Fuck.

  “This weekend?” I ask, Ryker walks in and slams the door. He hasn’t spoken to me since I broke up with Phoebe. I know he hates me for it, he’s made that pretty clear. And I know he doesn’t understand my reasons, but until he has found someone who he falls so deeply in love with that he would protect her at all costs, he doesn’t get a say.

  “Yeah, the grand opening is this weekend. Don’t show up, unless you want to leave in a body bag. And that’s not at the hands of me that would be at the hands of one of the girls.” I instantly relax, I know how much love Phoebe has surrounding her. It’s no wonder she has so much to give.

  “I won’t. Don’t worry. But once I’ve sorted all this shit? I’m coming after her, and I’m coming after her hard.”

  “Don’t bother, Ryder.”

  “Why?”

  “Because if you haven’t got the balls to fight for her now, she deserves better.” Then he hangs up his phone.

  “Fuck!” I continue to pace walk up and down the lounge, Ryker looks to me sideways.

  “What is it?”

  Oh, he talks.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I—”

  “Am going to Westbeach.” Ryker ends the sentence for me.

  I look to him and rub my hands over my mouth. “And what if she gets hurt and it’s all my fault, Ry? Then what? How the fuck am I supposed to live with myself? Her whole world already went into the fast lane, her Facebook blew the fuck up and—”

  “How did she handle that?” He sits back on the sofa casually.

  “Handle what?” I ask semi-annoyed.

  “Handle her Facebook world blowing up? The paparazzi? Just how did she handle all that Ryder?” I think over his question and I know what he’s implying.

  “She took it in her stride,” I reply honestly.

  Ryker gets off the sofa, walking in front of me.

  “Here’s the thing, Ryder. In relationships, you fuck up and make mistakes. Hell, someone may even get hurt, but you never walk away without communication.”

  “Oh? You’re a relationship expert now? You haven’t had a girlfriend…ever, Ryker. You’re just as bad if not worse than I am.”

  “How am I worse?”

  “Because you’re a slut.”

  “Uh huh. And that’s where you’re wrong. I’ve studied women. I know how they tick, not just in the bedroom either. Phoebe? Not only is she loyal, Ryder, but she’s strong. She got kidnapped and was still wrapping my…no, our wounds and demanded we speak to Rellik. She’s a fucking rare woman, and I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted her. I wanted her the first night she almost ran me over. But do you want to know why I didn’t pursue her?”

  Where the fuck is he going with this.

  “Enlighten me.”

  “Because she couldn’t see past you. She didn’t care about anyone else or what was happening around her. None of that mattered. All she saw was you. She’s the best thing that ever happened to you, to us—all of us!”

  I shake my head. “I’ve fucked up.”

  “You did.”

  I narrow my eyes at him and he laughs. “Are we going to Westbeach then? You know…we have a break because Leo is going to rehab for the next three months. We have time.”

  “I’ll need more than three months to win her back. That I’m sure of,” I reply, walking into my room to pack up some clothes.

  Ryker walks in, leaning against the doorframe. “So…we are going then?”

  I nod my head. “We are going.”


  A huge Cheshire cat grin comes on display across his mouth, and he bounces off the wall, picking up his phone while walking to the living room.

  There’s one thing I’m absolutely sure of, and that’s that she’s going to bust my balls to get her back.

  Fuck.

  “Phoebe! Put the Skyline on the track, please. Get out of the BMR!” Melissa yells from the sideline. I smirk and rev my engine. She has no idea how much life my trusty little E30 has left in her, she will run forever.

  As soon as the light flicks green, I put the pedal to the metal and floor it forward.

  Huh, I guess I could put a hot man in a six-pack on this track. It’s my track after all, and it would only be fitting.

  I smile as the adrenaline pulses through my veins, dropping down a gear before I come up to the first corner. Ripping up my handbrake, I slide around it with perfect ease, screaming out in excitement. God, I’ve missed this. This is all the therapy I will ever need. The power and control, I needed to feel it, just to remind me that I still have control of my life.

  Well…when it involves four wheels anyway.

  Zooming past the large lake, I drop it into third, and floor it through the two trees that arch across leading to entry of the forest. We had cement put down throughout the entire track. This is some view, it’s my dream and this is my happy place.

  Once I exit the forest, I hit another corner, so I rip up the emergency brake and swing my ass end around accelerating out of it before flooring it forward toward the back of the lake. I circle the entire circuit until I find myself on the final stretch coming up to the finishing line. I zoom over the black and white finish line, skidding sideways before coming to a halt.

  Pushing open the door, I jump out and look at Melissa with a huge smile. “See! That was so great!” She smiles back, but I see a look in her eye that says, ‘You may just kill me.’ When I look over her shoulder, I see Ryder and Ryker walking onto the track. My smile drops instantly and I look back to Melissa. “Sorry babe, he has a point to make.”

  Shit, the lump in my throat grows larger and my heart rate picks up. Not from lust this time, though. Oh no. It picks up from anger.