The Splendid Spur

  CHAPTER III.

  I FIND MYSELF IN A TAVERN BRAWL: AND BARELY ESCAPE.

  It wanted, maybe, a quarter to seven, that evening, when, passing outat the College Gate on my way to All Hallows' Church, I saw under thelantern there a man loitering and talking with the porter. 'Twas MasterAnthony's lackey; and as I came up, he held out a note for me.

  Deare Jack

  Wee goe to the "Crowne" at VI. o'clock, I having mett with CaptainSettle, who is on dewty with the horse tonite, and must to Abendonn byIX. I looke for you--

  Your unfayned loving

  A. K.

  The bearer has left my servise, and his helth conserus me nott. Soe kikhim if he tarrie.

  This last advice I had no time to carry out with any thoroughness: butbeing put in a great dread by this change of hour, pelted off toward theCorn Market as fast as legs could take me, which was the undoing of alittle round citizen into whom I ran full tilt at the corner of BalliolCollege: who, before I could see his face in the darkness, was tipp'd onhis back in the gutter and using the most dismal expressions. So I lefthim, considering that my excuses would be unsatisfying to his presentdemands, and to his cooler judgment a superfluity.

  The windows of the "Crown" were cheerfully lit behind their red blinds.A few straddling grooms and troopers talked and spat in the brightnessof the entrance, and outside in the street was a servant leading up anddown a beautiful sorrel mare, ready saddled, that was mark'd on the nearhind leg with a high white stocking. In the passage, I met the hostof the "Crown," Master John Davenant, and sure (I thought) in whatodd corners will the Muse pick up her favorites! For this slow,loose-cheek'd vintner was no less than father to Will Davenant, ourLaureate, and had belike read no other verse in his life but those atthe bottom of his own pint-pots.

  "Top of the stairs," says he, indicating my way, "and open the doorahead of you, if y'are the young gentleman Master Killigrew spoke of."

  I had my foot on the bottom step, when from the room above comes thecrash of a table upsetting, with a noise of broken glass, chairs thrustback, and a racket of outcries. Next moment, the door was burst open,letting out a flood of light and curses; and down flies a drawer, threesteps at a time, with a red stain of wine trickling down his white face.

  "Murder!" he gasped out; and sitting down on a stair, fell to moppinghis face, all sick and trembling.

  I was dashing past him, with the landlord at my heels, when three mencame tumbling out at the door, and downstairs. I squeezed myself againstthe wall to let them pass: but Master Davenant was pitch'd to the veryfoot of the stairs. And then he picked himself up and ran out into theCorn Market, the drawer after him, and both shouting "Watch! Watch!"at the top of their lungs; and so left the three fellows to push bythe women already gathered in the passage, and gain the street at theirease. All this happen'd while a man could count twenty; and in half aminute I heard the ring of steel and was standing in the doorway.

  There was now no light within but what was shed by the fire andtwo tallow candles that gutter'd on the mantelshelf. The remainingcandlesticks lay in a pool of wine on the floor, amid broken glasses,bottles, scattered coins, dice boxes and pewter pots. In the corner tomy right cower'd a potboy, with tankard dangling in his hand, and thecontents spilling into his shoes. His wide terrified eyes were fix'd onthe far end of the room, where Anthony and the brute Settle stood, witha shattered chair between them. Their swords were cross'd in tierce, andgrating together as each sought occasion for a lunge: which might havebeen fair enough but for a dog-fac'd trooper in a frowsy black periwig,who, as I enter'd, was gathering a handful of coins from under thefallen table, and now ran across, sword in hand, to the Captain's aid.

  'Twas Anthony that fac'd me, with his heel against the wainscoting, and,catching my cry of alarm, he call'd out cheerfully over the Captain'sshoulder, but without lifting his eyes--

  "Just in time, Jack! Take off the second cur, that's a sweet boy!"

  Now I carried no sword; but seizing the tankard from the potboy's hand,I hurl'd it at the dog-fac'd trooper. It struck him fair between theshoulder blades; and with a yell of pain he spun round and came towardme, his point glittering in a way that turn'd me cold. I gave back apace, snatch'd up a chair (that luckily had a wooden seat) and with myback against the door, waited his charge.

  'Twas in this posture that, flinging a glance across the room, I saw theCaptain's sword describe a small circle of light, and next moment, witha sharp cry, Anthony caught at the blade, and stagger'd against thewall, pinn'd through the chest to the wainscoting.

  "Out with the lights, Dick!" bawl'd Settle, tugging out his point."Quick, fool--the window!"

  Dick, with a back sweep of his hand, sent the candles flying off theshelf; and, save for the flicker of the hearth, we were in darkness.I felt, rather than saw, his rush toward me; leap'd aside; and broughtdown my chair with a crash on his skull. He went down like a ninepin,but scrambled up in a trice, and was running for the window.

  There was a shout below as the Captain thrust the lattice open: another,and the two dark forms had clambered through the purple square of thecasement, and dropped into the bowling-green below.

  By this, I had made my way across the room, and found Anthony sunkagainst the wall, with his feet outstretched. There was something heheld out toward me, groping for my hand and at the same time whisperingin a thick, choking voice--

  "Here, Jack, here: pocket it quick!"

  'Twas a letter, and as my fingers closed on it they met a damp smear,the meaning of which was but too plain.

  "Button it--sharp--in thy breast: now feel for my sword."

  "First let me tend thy hurt, dear lad."

  "Nay--quickly, my sword! 'Tis pretty, Jack, to hear thee say 'dear lad.'A cheat to die like this--could have laugh'd for years yet. The dicewere cogg'd--hast found it?"

  I groped beside him, found the hilt, and held it up.

  "So--'tis thine, Jack: and my mare, Molly, and the letter to take. Sayto Delia--Hark! they are on the stairs. Say to--"

  With a shout the door was flung wide, and on the threshold stood theWatch, their lanterns held high and shining in Anthony's white face, andon the black stain where his doublet was thrown open.

  In numbers they were six or eight, led by a small, wrynecked man thatheld a long staff, and wore a gilt chain over his furr'd collar. Behind,in the doorway, were huddled half a dozen women, peering: and MasterDavenant at the back of all, his great face looming over their shoulderslike a moon.

  "Now, speak up, Master Short!"

  "Aye, that I will--that I will: but my head is considering of affairs,"answered Master Short--he of the wryneck. "One, two, three--" He look'dround the room, and finding but one capable of resisting (for the potboywas by this time in a fit), clear'd his throat, and spoke up--

  "In the king's name, I arrest you all--so help me God! Now what's thematter?"

  "Murder," said I, looking up from my work of staunching Anthony's wound.

  "Then forbear, and don't do it."

  "Why, Master Short, they've been forbearin' these ten minutes," awoman's voice put in.

  "Hush, and hear Master Short: he knows the law, an' all the dubiousmaxims of the same."

  "Aye, aye: he says forbear i' the King's name, which is to say, thatother forbearing is neither law nor grace. Now then, Master Short!"

  Thus exhorted, the man of law continued--

  "I charge ye as honest men to disperse!"

  "Odds truth, Master Short, why you've just laid 'em under arrest!"

  "H'm, true: then let 'em stay so--in the king's name--and have done withit."

  Master Short, in fact, was growing testy: but now the women push'dby him, and, by screaming at the sight of blood, put him out of allpatience. Dragging them back by the skirts, he told me he must take thedepositions, and pull'd out pen and ink horn.

  "Sirs," said I, laying poor Anthony's head softly back, "you are toolate: whilst ye were cackling my friend is dead."

  "Then, young man, th
ou must come along."

  "Come along?"

  "The charge is _homocidium_, or manslaying, with or without maliceprepense--"

  "But--" I look'd round. The potboy was insensible, and my eyes fell onMaster Davenant, who slowly shook his head.

  "I'll say not a word," said he, stolidly: "lost twenty pound, one time,by a lawsuit."

  "Pack of fools!" I cried, driven beyond endurance. "The guilty ones haveescap'd these ten minutes. Now stop me who dares!"

  And dashing my left fist on the nose of a watchman who would have seizedme, I clear'd a space with Anthony's sword, made a run for the casement,and dropp'd out upon the bowling-green.

  A pretty shout went up as I pick'd myself off the turf and rush'd forthe back door. 'Twas unbarr'd, and in a moment I found myself tearingdown the passage and out into the Corn Market, with a score or sotumbling downstairs at my heels, and yelling to stop me. Turning sharpto my right, I flew up Ship Street, and through the Turl, and doubledback up the High Street, sword in hand. The people I pass'd were too fartaken aback, as I suppose, to interfere. But a many must have join'd inthe chase: for presently the street behind me was thick with the clatterof footsteps and cries of "A thief--a thief! Stop him!"

  At Quater Voies I turn'd again, and sped down toward St. Aldate's,thence to the left by Wild Boar Street, and into St. Mary's Lane. Bythis, the shouts had grown fainter, but were still following. Now I knewthere was no possibility to get past the city gates, which werewell guarded at night. My hope reach'd no further than the chance ofoutwitting the pursuit for a while longer. In the end I was sure thepotboy's evidence would clear me, and therefore began to enjoy the fun.Even my certain expulsion from College on the morrow seem'd of a piecewith the rest of events and (prospectively) a matter for laughter. Forthe struggle at the "Crown" had unhinged my wits, as I must suppose andyou must believe, if you would understand my behavior in the next halfhour.

  A bright thought had struck me: and taking a fresh wind, I set off againround the corner of Oriel College, and down Merton Street toward MasterTimothy Carter's house, my mother's cousin. This gentleman--who was townclerk to the Mayor and Corporation of Oxford--was also in a sense myguardian, holding it trust about L200 (which was all my inheritance),and spending the same jealously on my education. He was a very small,precise lawyer, about sixty years old, shaped like a pear, with aprodigious self-important manner that came of associating with greatmen: and all the knowledge I had of him was pick'd up on the rareoccasions (about twice a year) that I din'd at his table. He had earlymarried and lost an aged shrew, whose money had been the making of him:and had more respect for law and authority than any three men in Oxford.So that I reflected, with a kind of desperate hilarity, on the greetinghe was like to give me.

  This kinsman of mine had a fine house at the east end of Merton Streetas you turn into Logic Lane: and I was ten yards from the front door,and running my fastest, when suddenly I tripp'd and fell headlong.

  Before I could rise, a hand was on my shoulder, and a voice speaking inmy ear--

  "Pardon, comrade. We are two of a trade, I see."

  'Twas a fellow that had been lurking at the corner of the lane, and hadthrust out a leg as I pass'd. He was pricking up his ears now to thecries of "Thief--thief!" that had already reach'd the head of thestreet, and were drawing near.

  "I am no thief," said I.

  "Quick!" He dragged me into the shadow of the lane. "Hast a crown in thypocket?"

  "Why?"

  "Why, for a good turn. I'll fog these gentry for thee. Many thanks,comrade," as I pull'd out the last few shillings of my pocket money."Now pitch thy sword over the wall here, and set thy foot on my hand.'Tis a rich man's garden, t'other side, that I was meaning to exploremyself; but another night will serve."

  "'Tis Master Carter's," said I; "and he's my kinsman."

  "The devil!--but never mind, up with thee! Now mark a pretty piece ofplay. 'Tis pity thou shouldst be across the wall and unable to see."

  He gave a great hoist: catching at the coping of the wall, I pull'dmyself up and sat astride of it.

  "Good turf below--ta-ta, comrade!"

  By now, the crowd was almost at the corner. Dropping about eight feet onto good turf, as the fellow had said, I pick'd myself up and listen'd.

  "Which way went he?" call'd one, as they came near.

  "Down the street!" "No: up the lane!'" "Hush!" "Up the lane, I'll besworn." "Here, hand the lantern!" &c., &c.

  While they debated, my friend stood close on the other side of the wall:but now I heard him dash suddenly out, and up the lane for his life."There he goes!" "Stop him!" the cries broke out afresh. "Stop him, i'the king's name!" The whole pack went pelting by, shouting, stumbling,swearing.

  For two minutes or more the stragglers continued to hurry past by onesand twos. As soon as their shouts died away, I drew freer breath andlook'd around.

  I was in a small, turfed garden, well stock'd with evergreen shrubs,at the back of a tall house that I knew for Master Carter's. But whatpuzzled me was a window in the first floor, very brightly lit, andcertain sounds issuing therefrom that had no correspondence with mykinsman's reputation.

  "It was a frog leap'd into a pool-- Fol--de--riddle, went souse in the middle! Says he, This is better than moping in school. With a--"

  "--Your Royal Highness, have some pity! What hideous folly! Oh, dear,dear--"

  "With a fa-la-tweedle-tweedle, Tiddifol-iddifol-ido!"

  "--Your Royal Highness, I _cannot_ sing the dreadful stuff! Think of mygrey hairs!"

  "Tush! Master Carter--nonsense; 'tis choicely well sung. Come, brother,the chorus!"

  "With a fa-la--"

  And the chorus was roar'd forth, with shouts of laughter and clinkingof glasses. Then came an interval of mournful appeal, and my kinsman'svoice was again lifted----

  "He scattered the tadpoles, and set 'em agog, Hey! nod-noddy-all head and no body! Oh, mammy! Oh, minky!--"

  "--O, mercy, mercy! it makes me sweat for shame."

  Now meantime I had been searching about the garden, and was lucky enoughto find a tool shed, and inside of this a ladder hanging, which now Icarried across and planted beneath the window. I had a shrewd notion ofwhat I should find at the top, remembering now to have heard that thePrinces Rupert and Maurice were lodging with Master Carter: but thetruth beat all my fancies.

  For climbing softly up and looking in, I beheld my poor kinsman perch'don his chair a-top of the table, in the midst of glasses, decanters, anddesserts: his wig askew, his face white, save where, between the eyes,a medlar had hit and broken, and his glance shifting wildly between thetwo princes, who in easy postures, loose and tipsy, lounged on eitherside of him, and beat with their glasses on the board.

  "Bravissimo! More, Master Carter--more!"

  "O mammy, O nunky, here's cousin Jack Frog-- With a fa-la--"

  I lifted my knuckles and tapp'd on the pane; whereon Prince Mauricestarts up with an oath, and coming to the window, flings it open.

  "Pardon, your Highness," said I, and pull'd myself past him into theroom, as cool as you please.

  'Twas worth while to see their surprise. Prince Maurice ran back to thetable for his sword: his brother (being more thoroughly drunk) droppeda decanter on the floor, and lay back staring in his chair. While as formy kinsman, he sat with mouth wide and eyes starting, as tho' I werea very ghost. In the which embarrassment I took occasion to say, verypolitely--

  "Good evening, nunky!"

  "Who the devil is this?" gasps Prince Rupert.

  "Why the fact is, your Highnesses," answered I, stepping up and layingmy sword on the table, while I pour'd out a glass, "Master TimothyCarter here is my guardian, and has the small sum of L200 in hispossession for my use, of which I happen to-night to stand in immediateneed. So you see--" I finished the sentence by tossing off a glass."This is rare stuff!" I said.

  "Blood and fury!" burst out Prince Rupert, fumbling for his sword, andthen gazing, dr
unk and helpless.

  "Two hundred pound! Thou jackanapes--" began Master Carter.

  "I'll let you off with fifty to-night," said I.

  "Ten thousand--!"

  "No, fifty. Indeed, nunky," I went on, "'tis very simple. I was at the'Crown' tavern--"

  "At a tavern!"

  "Aye, at a game of dice--"

  "Dice!"

  "Aye, and a young man was killed--"

  "Thou shameless puppy! A man murder'd!"

  "Aye, nunky; and the worst is they say 'twas I that kill'd him."

  "He's mad. The boy's stark raving mad!" exclaim'd my kinsman. "To comehere in this trim!"

  "Why, truly, nunky, thou art a strange one to talk of appearances. Oh,dear!" and I burst into a wild fit of laughing, for the wine had warm'dme up to play the comedy out. "To hear thee sing

  "'With a fa--la--tweedle--tweedle!'

  and--Oh, nunky, that medlar on thy face is so funny!"

  "In Heaven's name, stop!" broke in the Prince Maurice. "Am I mad, oronly drunk? Rupert, if you love me, say I am no worse than drunk."

  "Lord knows," answer'd his brother. "I for one was never this waybefore."

  "Indeed, your Highnesses be only drunk," said I, "and able at that tosign the order that I shall ask you for."

  "An order!"

  "To pass the city gates to-night."

  "Oh, stop him somebody," groan'd Prince Rupert: "my head is whirling."

  "With your leave," I explain'd, pouring out another glassful: "tis thesimplest matter, and one that a child could understand. You see, thisyoung man was kill'd, and they charg'd me with it; so away I ran, andthe Watch after me; and therefore I wish to pass the city gates. And asI may have far to travel, and gave my last groat to a thief for hoistingme over Master Carter's wall--"

  "A thief--my wall!" repeated Master Carter. "Oh well is thy poor motherin her grave!"

  "--Why, therefore I came for money," I wound up, sipping the wine, andnodding to all present.

  'Twas at this moment that, catching my eye, the Prince Maurice slapp'dhis leg, and leaning back, broke into peal after peal of laughter. Andin a moment his brother took the jest also; and there we three sat andshook, and roar'd unquenchably round Master Carter, who, staring blanklyfrom one to another, sat gaping, as though the last alarm were soundingin his ears.

  "Oh! oh! oh! Hit me on the back, Maurice!"

  "Oh! oh! I cannot--'tis killing me--Master Carter, for pity's sake, looknot so; but pay the lad his money."

  "Your Highness----"

  "Pay it I say; pay it: 'tis fairly won."

  "Fifty pounds!"

  "Every doit," said I: "I'm sick of schooling."

  "Be hang'd if I do!" snapp'd Master Carter.

  "Then be hang'd, sir, but all the town shall hear to-morrow of the frogand the pool! No, sir: I am off to see the world----

  "'Says he: "This is better than moping in school!"'"

  "Your Highnesses," pleaded the unhappy man, "if, to please you, I sangthat idiocy, which, for fifty years now, I had forgotten----"

  "Exc'll'nt shong," says Prince Rupert, waking up; "less have't again!"

  * * * * *

  To be short, ten o'clock was striking from St. Mary's spire when, with aprince on either side of me, and thirty guineas in my pocket (which wasall the loose gold he had), I walked forth from Master Carter's door. Tomake up the deficiency, their highnesses had insisted on furnishingme with a suit made up from the simplest in their jointwardrobes--riding-boots, breeches, buff-coat, sash, pistols, cloak, andfeather'd hat, all of which fitted me excellently well. By the doors ofChrist Church, before we came to the south gate, Prince Rupert, who hadbeen staggering in his walk, suddenly pull'd up, and leaned against thewall.

  "Why--odd's my life--we've forgot a horse for him!" he cried.

  "Indeed, your Highness," I answered, "if my luck holds the same, I shallfind one by the road." (How true this turned out you shall presentlyhear.)

  There was no difficulty at the gate, where the sentry recogniz'd the twoprinces and open'd the wicket at once. Long after it had clos'd behindme, and I stood looking back at Oxford towers, all bath'd in the wintermoonlight, I heard the two voices roaring away up the street:

  "It was a frog leap'd into a pool--"

  At length they died into silence; and, hugging the king's letter in mybreast, I stepped briskly forward on my travels.