The Strength of the Pack

  Tilly grabbed a bag that Cherise had brought in with her, and she led Nate out of the NICU. They dumped their disposable gowns and masks and the other stuff in the entry and he slowly followed Tilly down corridors.

  “Where are we going?” he hoarsely asked.

  She slowed her purple-Croc-clad strides and hooked an arm through his. “Oh, man. You are messed up. I thought I was bad off.” But her tone held no snark, only sadness. “Front desk. They’ll call security for us and give us a ride over to the Ronald McDonald House. We’ll get checked in and sleep.”

  Ten minutes later they were standing in the lobby, with the clerk telling them there was only currently one room available, with one bed.

  “That’s fine,” Tilly said before Nate could argue, pulling out her ID and holding out her hand to him for his wallet. He slowly dug it out of his back pocket and handed it over to her for her to paw through and find his ID.

  He realized the nurse in the NICU had put an ID band on Tilly’s wrist, and come to think of it, before they’d left the baby’s side, Cherise had received one, too.

  The clerk started to go over things after filling out paperwork, then Tilly stopped her. “I’m sorry, can I please get him upstairs and horizontal and come back down and do the rest of this? He’s not processing anything right now and I’m afraid he’s going to collapse. It was a rough night for all of us.”

  “Of course.” The volunteer grabbed a room key and led them upstairs.

  Tilly looked around the room and pointed him toward the bed. “I brought three chargers with me. In the bag.” She set it on the bed. “Hopefully one works for your phone. If not, later we’ll go out and buy one or have someone bring one up. I’ll go finish the orientation.”

  He nodded.

  Tilly followed the woman out, closing the door behind them.

  He didn’t even get as far as finding the charger. He kicked off his shoes and collapsed onto the bed, sobbing himself to sleep.

  * * * *

  Eva ran through terrifying nightmares. Of something being wrong with the baby, and of losing Nate and not being able to find him or their baby. Loud noises, shouting voices…

  Pain.

  Replaced by nightmares of her father, of what he’d done to her…

  More pain…

  Her eyes snapped open and she clawed, startled, at the woman leaning in over her.

  The doctor caught her one hand while someone unseen grabbed the other. “Mrs. Crawford? Eva? I’m Dr. Harliss. It’s okay. You’re in the ICU at Proctor-Collins Medical Center.”

  As English started processing through Eva’s brain she let out pained, gasping breaths, relaxing, no longer struggling. “Husband…”

  “He’s right there.” She pointed to Eva’s other side.

  Eva turned her head and Leo stood there.

  Now her pulse spiked, pounding, and somewhere an alarm went off. No, that couldn’t all have been a dream, could it? Maybe she’d ended up in the hospital after all the morning Jesse found her lying in the bathroom, but then why would Leo be there and not—

  Jesse rushed in. “She’s awake?” The doctor let go of her hand and got out of the way so Jesse could edge in next to Eva on that side.

  She calmed. “Where’s Nate?”

  Leo gently squeezed her hand. “He’s up in St. Pete at All Children’s Hospital with the baby.”

  “Baby?”

  Now she could isolate the source of the pain. She looked down and realized she no longer had a huge baby belly. When she tried to reach down, Jesse gently caught her hand.

  “No, sweetie. They took the restraints off when they started bringing you up because we knew you’d panic, but you can’t do that. You can’t touch your incision.”

  Now she started crying. “What happened?” More awareness settled in, and she realized she also wore an oxygen cannula, and her throat hurt like holy fuck. She had an IV in her left hand, the one Jesse now held, and was connected to monitors and leads.

  Dr. Harliss had moved to stand at the end of the bed. “Eva, your placenta detached, and you started bleeding severely. You also had severe preeclampsia. We had to deliver your baby by emergency C-section.”

  Leo stroked Eva’s forehead and she looked at him, at his sad, blue eyes.

  “What else?” she asked. “Tell me everything. Is something wrong with the baby?”

  “He’s doing good,” Leo assured her, pulling out his phone and showing her a picture. “Cherise texted me these. See? He’s okay.”

  She cried as he scrolled through them for her. They’d planned for everyone to be in the room when he was born. “It’s a boy?”

  “Kenneth Leonard Jesse Cooke-Morrow-Crawford.”

  Now she knew she was still dreaming. “Say whut?”

  Leo smiled, still holding the phone for her. “Blame your husband. He named him.”

  “No. It’s…perfect.” If they were having a boy, she’d wanted his first name to be Kenneth, after Nate’s step-dad. The middle names she honestly hadn’t considered yet, but…

  Perfect. Their pack.

  Although she would have a word or two with Nate about three last names. That was just overkill.

  Still, she loved him for it.

  But Leo looked sad. “What’s wrong?” she asked after she realized the doctor had left them alone. “I know that look. We were married for twelve years. What’s wrong?”

  Jesse squeezed her hand to make her look at him. “Sweetie, they had to do a partial hysterectomy to save you. You wouldn’t stop bleeding. You had two surgeries. The first time, they thought they got the bleeding stopped, but then you started bleeding in recovery and they had to rush you back in. The second surgery, your BP tanked and they nearly lost you. We told them whatever they had to do to save your life, that they had to do it.”

  She stared into his brown eyes, so different from Nate’s, her vision blurring from tears. “Hysterectomy?”

  He leaned in close, stroking her head. “Sweetheart, it was that, or lose you, and we cannot lose you.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, sobbing now. “I’m so sorry, Jesse.”

  One of her monitors beeped and now both men worked to calm and soothe her. The nurse came in to check on her, silencing the alarm. “We can give her something to calm her, if we need to,” she gently said.

  “No,” the men said. “She’ll be okay,” Jesse said. “She’s just waking up and processing.” The nurse left them alone again.

  Jesse continued stroking her hair, refusing to let go of her hand. “Sweetheart, you come first. Your life comes first.”

  “But I fucked this all up,” she whispered. “I was supposed to have a baby for you.”

  He kissed her forehead. “Eva, listen to me,” he whispered. “You are supposed to be alive to help raise our daughter, and now our son. I’m going to love that baby every bit as much as if he had my genes. And you still have your ovaries. Maybe at some point we can talk about a surrogate, but right now, our priority is getting you healed up so we can take care of our son. He’s part of the pack. Just like Nate’s part of the pack, and Laurel’s part of the pack. Community property.” He smiled. “Okay?”

  No, it wasn’t okay. Not only had she screwed up their plans by getting pregnant by Nate, she’d even managed to fuck up all of them being able to celebrate their baby’s birth together.

  Leo squeezed her hand and waited for her to look at him. “Do not,” he whispered, “make me call your Master and Tilly and tell them you’re not thinking straight about this.”

  Oh, fuck. Tilly. She was supposed to be catching a flight to England.

  “What day is it?”

  “It’s Sunday afternoon.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “2:23.”

  She closed her eyes. “Tilly was supposed to fly to London tonight.”

  “No, she’s delayed that and sent Leigh and Lucas without her.”

  One more person’s life disrupted. More, if she thought about Lucas and Leigh and their production compan
y. And here Lucas and Leigh had been so generous, buying the mortgage for the house after Leo’s accident so she—

  “Where’s Nate?” she asked. “Can I talk to him?”

  “He’s asleep right now,” Leo said. “Cherise texted me a little while ago with an update. Tilly got a room at the Ronald McDonald House up there for them to crash.”

  “But the baby—”

  “Cherise is with the baby,” he assured her.

  More lives disrupted.

  Jesse made her look at him. “Listen to me. Remember our talk that morning in the shower?”

  She nodded.

  “You still don’t get to check out. Shit. Happens. This was not your fault. This just as easily could have happened if it was my baby, and you don’t think I’d feel like shit that you almost died? Think again. You are not allowed to feel guilty or responsible for what happened.”

  Jesse stroked her hair again. “This happens to other people, all the time. People who aren’t a fraction as well-supported as we are by our friends. We’re damned lucky, okay? We’re really lucky Tilly was there last night and following you around keeping an eye on you. You could just as easily have bled out in the bathroom before anyone realized you’d been gone too long. The doctors said last night the only reason you and the baby both survived was that Tilly loaded you up and got you to the hospital so fast. It was that serious and that close. If she’d waited for the paramedics, you and the baby might not have made it.”

  She tried to breathe through her pain. “Okay.”

  He reached over and hit a button, then put it into her hand and closed her fingers around it. “They gave you a pain pump for right now, since you’re awake. Probably will take you off it tomorrow.”

  “Where’s Laurel?”

  “Scrye and June have her,” Leo said.

  “Nobody called my…” She hoped not.

  Leo smiled. “Like hell. Am I in jail?” He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Nobody called your parents, or your sisters, and nobody is going to, either.”

  She softly wept as the men lowered the bed’s side rails and snuggled with her as best they could.

  “We love you,” Leo whispered, “and you’re a great mom. This was beyond your control.”

  “And you need to ride out whatever emotions you have,” Jesse said. “Hold onto us, whatever you have to do. The doctor warned that you’ll probably have mood swings both from the effects of the hysterectomy and the C-section, not to mention the stress. Your body just went through a hell of a trauma. It’s okay to feel a little crazy and out of it as long as you’re hanging on to us. We won’t let you fall.”

  How did she get so lucky? Not only these two guys, but Nate, too? And Cherise and Tilly and…

  She cried even harder. “Thank you,” she managed. “I love you guys.”

  “We love you, too,” Leo assured her. “And right now, since Nate’s not here, I’m stepping in temporarily as your Dom and ordering you to lean on us and let us help you through this.”

  She nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Good girl,” the men softly said.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Nate was having a nightmare. That there was something wrong with Eva and the baby and he couldn’t get to them to help. One of those horrible dreams where he tried to run and couldn’t no matter how hard he tried. And then he was at the airshow, and the sound of the plane landing began, and—

  “No!” His eyes popped open and it took him a few ragged, haggard breaths to realize he’d been asleep.

  Still caught in a nightmare, unfortunately, just not the one he’d dreamed about.

  “For fuck’s sake,” Tilly groused as she reached over and flipped on a lamp. “Do you always wake up like that?”

  “Sorry.” He still lay, fully dressed and on top of the covers, where he’d fallen.

  He looked to see that she was under the covers on the other side of the bed, a pillow jammed between them.

  “That’s for me, not because of you,” she said. “I have a habit of backing up against whoever’s sleeping behind me.” She yawned and rolled over to face him. “I didn’t want you thinking I was making a move on ya.”

  She flashed him an exhausted grin before her head flopped down onto the pillow. “You get your shower first, dude,” she said. “I want a few more minutes.” She pulled the pillow into her arms. “Your phone’s on the charger. You damn Doms suck at following directions. You’re welcome.”

  He sat up and spotted his phone, plugged in and charging, on the dresser. He hurried over to it and picked it up, finding it fully charged.

  It was 3:17 in the afternoon. “Holy crap, why did you let me sleep this long?”

  “Dude,” she said, “Cherise is there with him.” She pointed behind her, at the bedside table. “And my phone is on and loud.”

  It vibrated against the table. She looked over at it. “Okay, well, fuck.” She sat up and grabbed it. “False alarm, it’s Leigh, asking how things are.” She scrolled through her messages, then made a point of switching the ringer back on and showing him. “No calls from Cherise.”

  He called her.

  “He’s fine, bro,” Cherise said by way of answering.

  He slumped onto the end of the bed. “Really?”

  “Really really. The doctors came by to check on him just a few minutes ago. They’re talking about taking the feeding tube out in a couple of days. How’s Eva?”

  “I haven’t called yet.”

  “Then text me when you find out. Make sure to get a shower and food. Tilly said you didn’t eat before you crashed.”

  He glanced over at Tilly. She’d flopped back down onto the bed again, eyes closed. Like that, she looked vulnerable, aged.

  Exhausted.

  “I didn’t,” he said.

  “Okay. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.” He hung up and stared at his phone.

  “Peanut doing okay?” Tilly asked.

  “Yeah.”

  She peeled her eyes open again. “She’s fine, or we would have heard something. Call Leo and find out.”

  He did, but it was Eva’s who answered after the third ring. “Nate?” She sounded weak, in pain.

  “Baby, I love you so much.” He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose as tears rolled down his cheeks again. Relief, this time.

  “I love you, too. How’s the baby?”

  “He’s good. I just woke up and talked to Cherise.”

  “I’m sorry, Sir,” she said. “They had to do a—”

  “Shh. Stop. It’s okay. Tilly already told me.” He struggled to pull himself together, to at least sound like a damned Master. “You’re alive, and that’s all that matters. You’re alive, the baby’s alive, and you are my good girl. You didn’t do anything wrong. Is Leo there?”

  It sounded like she was crying. “Yeah. Yes, Sir.”

  “Let me talk to him.”

  He heard her pass the phone off. “Hold on,” Leo said. It sounded like he walked out of wherever it was, probably away from her so he could talk without her overhearing. “Yeah.”

  “How is she?”

  “Upset and in a lot of pain. Jesse and I have been trying to tell her nobody blames her for this, but you know how she is.”

  “Yeah. How long does she have to stay in there?”

  “They might move her out of the ICU tonight if we can keep her calm and keep her O2 levels up. She keeps getting upset, and that trips the monitor alarm, and then we have to calm her down. She lost a lot of blood and they’re worried about potential blood clots and infection, too.”

  “But…” He couldn’t finish.

  “The doctors insist that everything looks promising. You know how they are, they won’t give you assurances. Other than possible complications, so far, so good. It’ll be at least a couple of days before they think about discharging her. We’ve been told probably a week.”

  He felt a tap on his shoulder. Tilly had a wad of tissues in her hand.

 
He took them, nodding thanks to her. “Leo, I…thank—”

  “You’re pack, Nate,” Leo quietly said. “She is, you are, and now the baby. You don’t have to thank me. You’d be here if this was Jesse, I know you would.”

  “Yeah.” He absolutely would. He felt the tag on his necklace under his shirt, against his chest.

  “You’re my brother,” Leo said. “Yes, I love her. I always will. You don’t know how grateful I am that you came into our lives. And that baby up there, I consider him our baby, not just yours. He’s my son, Jesse’s son, her son, your son. Just like I consider Laurel your daughter and Jesse’s daughter. Blood is irrelevant. We can’t do this shit alone. We need the strength of the pack, especially right now. I don’t care that I’m a Master, I’m not too proud to admit I can’t do this alone.”

  Nate lost it, covering his eyes with his spare hand, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed. “I can’t do this alone,” he choked out. “I was so scared last night. I’m still scared.”

  He felt Tilly move, holding him, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him against her as he cried into the phone.

  Leo’s voice gentled. “You’re not alone, I promise. And you’ve got Tilly and Cherise up there. Lean on them. Lean on all of us. That’s what pack is for. That’s why we’re better than a family. We’re all here because we want to be here, not because we have to be by blood.”

  “Please take care of her, Leo,” Nate said.

  “We’ll take care of our girl, and you take care of our son.”

  “I love you, Leo.”

  “I love you, too, Nate. Let me talk to Tilly, please.”

  He blindly handed the phone to her. He felt her hands gently close around his and she took the phone from him.

  “Hey… Yeah, we just woke up and need some food and coffee… Okay. Will do. Bye.” She ended the call and handed him the phone back.

  “What?”

  She smiled. “As your packmate, he gave me permission to go Domme on your ass to take care of you as needed.” She poked him in the shoulder. “Go. Get. Your. Shower. I want coffee and food and in that order. And you probably haven’t eaten since yesterday, have you?”